Clipped by Love (Bellevue Bullies #2) (64 page)

Baylor: I really need to talk to you.

Baylor: I’m really sorry.

Baylor: Please, answer me.

Baylor: I don’t know what to do here. I’m freaking out without you.

Baylor: Do you even want me to come today?

Baylor: I want to come but only if you want me there.

Baylor: Please answer me.

“Dude, why don’t you just answer the phone or text her back?”

Looking over at Jude from my phone, I shake my head as I drop it to put my cuff links on. My phone has been going off all day, hell, for the last two days, but I can’t face the situation yet. I’m still so hurt by what she did. Why couldn’t she just admit it? Why couldn’t she just say she loves me? Yeah, I can understand the whole lying to her dad—even though that did bother me. But when she looked me in my eyes, why didn’t she say it? It makes no fucking sense to me, and until it does, or until I don’t hurt anymore, I can’t talk to her.

Because I know I’ll give in and let her basically use me, I guess.

But even that doesn’t seem right. Yeah, she won’t admit it, but I know she loves me.

Ugh, I don’t know, this fucking sucks.

“I don’t want to talk to her,” I answer, looking away. “Don’t worry about me though. Today is the big day. It’s about you and Claire.”

“True, but I can’t have my brother stand next to me looking like all his hockey sticks were broken in half and caught on fire,” he throws back at me, and I shrug.

“Yeah, dude, you look pitiful. I know she messed up, but she’s trying to make it better,” Jace adds. “She’s been calling me. Begging me to tell you to call her.”

“I know,” I say, letting out a long breath. “It’s just… I feel like if I talk to her, she’ll make excuses or try to deflect from the real issue. I don’t even think she realizes why I’m so upset.”

“Then tell her,” Jude says. “Communication, dude.”

“It isn’t that easy,” I say, shaking my head. “You don’t understand. I’m turning into a doormat for this girl.”

“So? That’s what love does. You take the good with the bad, Jay. You let her stand on you because you are the only one who can lift her up and vice versa. She isn’t doing this to be vicious; she honestly doesn’t understand how to be in a relationship. And if you want to be with her, you have to show her,” Jude says as he ties his tie. “If you love her and she is it, then you need to work this out, You are the only person that can show her how,” he says before sliding his jacket on. “You’ve told me from the beginning that she is emotionally inept, but yet at Christmas, it was obvious who she loved. Yeah, she can’t say it. So say it to her until she realizes that’s what you do. I mean, shit, you can’t expect a kid to walk without showing it how.”

Jace nods and then stands. “Also, she was raised by a dude. We are not all sensitive like you, Jay.”

Looking down, I bite into my lip. My heart is aching for her. Even though I’m mad and hurt and feel like Baylor betrayed me, I still yearn for her, and I really don’t know what to do with that. For once, I don’t know what to do with my own feelings.

Stopping in front of me, Jude crunches down to look at me. Placing his hand on my shoulder, he says, “Mom told me that everyone deserves a second chance. Mind you this was a few days after Dad had just cheated on her for the billionth time, and she was done. But she still believed in love, and because of that, I took her advice and now I’m marrying the woman of my dreams.” Meeting my gaze, he holds it and nods. “Don’t let yours walk away.”

“I don’t want to,” I say softly, my throat thick with emotion. “But what if—”

“No, stop,” he says, squeezing my shoulder. “Because yeah, there are a ton of what-ifs, but what if you don’t? What if you walk away and let her go because of this? Will you be able to live with yourself? You and I both know, and Jace too, that you can’t. She is your Baylor, you take all of her because you have to. Because there is no other way. She’s it. I know because that’s how it is with Claire. I’ve accepted every single thing about her, and you have to do the same. So suck it up, find her after this and tell her that you love her and keep saying it until she says it back.” Shaking me a bit, he grins. “So stop frowning like that grumpy cat, and let’s go get me married.”

Reaching out, I squeeze his shoulder and then glance over at Jace, sharing a long look with him before looking back at Jude. I really don’t know what I would do without these two. Yeah, we fight like cats and dogs and we are sorta mean to each other, but in the end, we are brothers, and they are my best friends. “I couldn’t live my life without you two.”

“And Baylor,” he adds, and I nod. Smiling, he stands before wrapping me up in a tight, back-slapping hug. “You’re a fucking pussy, but man, I couldn’t live without you either. You’re the rock of this family.”

“Let me in on this girlie, emotional shit too,” Jace says, wrapping his arms around us, and I squeeze my eyes shut as I hug my brothers. While they are two of the most important people in my life, they don’t complete me the way Baylor does. I understand that she has struggles, and yes, she is a hot fucking mess, but she is my mess. I knew that from the beginning. The moment I met her, I knew she wasn’t going to be easy to love, but I still dove in and loved her. I still love her. When I think of love, I think of her. I see her. She is it.

It’s just that I feel like a car stuck in the mud with nowhere to go because I walked away. I should have grabbed her, shaken her, and screamed that I loved her. Instead, I let my pride get in the way. Instead, I walked away, and I really think that was the biggest mistake of my life. She’s a fickle little thing. She could give up, but then, that’s not Baylor.

She fights until she wins.

And in this case, I just have to let her.

Claire is exquisite.

In a floor-length lace dress that is completely backless, her red hair blazes in the lights that shine down on her as her eyes fill with tears, squeezing her uncle’s arm. Jude, God, my brother looks like he’s about to cry, and the room is suffocating with the love that is radiating off these two. You don’t even notice that anyone else is in the room but them, you don’t see the gorgeous white decorations or the lights that are shining in their eyes. All you see is them.

When Jude looks back at me and grins, I smile back as he says, “That’s my forever.”

“I know, man,” I say, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder before wiping away the tear that spills out of my eye. I’ve never seen my brother this happy, and the feeling is overwhelming.

When Claire finally reaches us, her uncle, Phillip, brings her in close, whispering something in her ear and she nods. Turning, he reaches out and shakes Jude’s hand, but Phillip doesn’t let go. With his eyes boring into Jude’s, he says, very sternly, “This is my everything, and I’m giving her to you with all the trust in the world that you’ll keep her safe and love her the right way. It isn’t easy. Not in the least. And I’d rather punch you in the face.” Everyone smiles, some crying and laughing as Jude’s eyes stay locked on his. “But she chose you, and so I choose you too. Don’t let me down.”

“Wouldn’t think of it,” Jude says, his voice breaking as he looks over at Claire. “I will love you for the rest of my life.”

“Told ya,” she says, leaning into Phillip. “Now let us go so we can do this.”

Phillip still hesitates but then finally lets them go before joining their hands together. He leans in and I doubt anyone hears him, but I do, as he whispers, “I will kill you if you hurt her.”

Jude grins as he nods, bringing Claire into his arms. “And I still haven’t forgotten that.” He then looks at Claire. “You ready to do this?”

“Been ready,” is her answer, a grin so big that you could probably see it from Jupiter.

When Claire’s aunt, Reese, starts to sob, I smile, holding back my own tears. Claire’s family is very unconventional, but they love each other to the ends of the earth, and it’s evident that will never change. When Phillip goes down the stairs, he lifts his son into his arms and then goes back up to wrap his arms around Reese. Grinning in a bittersweet way, she leans into him before taking Claire’s bouquet from her. This isn’t how it was rehearsed, but who the hell cares. We are here to celebrate Jude and Claire, and they don’t seem to care one bit.

I’m pretty sure they don’t care about anything but each other.

As my brother and my very soon-to-be sister-in-law join hands, gazing into each other’s eyes, I watch as Jude makes his vows, promising to only love her, while the room is full of tears. My mom is crying so hard, she’s gone through a whole box of Kleenex, and my dad should be beside her, but he isn’t. And for once, I’m okay with that. We don’t need him. She doesn’t need him. We have each other, and we will love each other enough to make up for the loss of his presence.

As Claire declares her love to Jude, I try to pay attention. I mean, I know I should, but it’s hard because, while they declare their love, I want to declare mine to Baylor. But as I look out into the room full of people who love Jude and Claire, I don’t see the person I love. I pray that doesn’t mean she isn’t here. That would mean I would have to wait hours before I can find her, but it would be so like her. Lord knows she doesn’t make my life easy, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

She’s mine.

F
igures! Today is the day I am running late. First, I couldn’t get my hair to do what I wanted. Then I changed into seven different outfits before I decided on a simple little black dress that I know Jayden loves. And then the real kicker is that I got lost finding the damn mansion. I blame all this on the fact that I’m a mess. I can’t think straight, and God, I miss him. So fucking badly.

Since I know the wedding has started, I decide to sit in the car and wait until the reception. Turning on the radio, I sit back and twirl my thumbs. I’m nervous, my heart, it just hurts, and I’m convinced that it won’t heal until I see Jayden. Until I feel his lips on mine and I utter the words that we both so desperately need me to say.

As I close my eyes, I know what I need to do when I get in there. I need to muster up all the confidence in the world. I need to know that when I tell him how I feel, he’s gonna wrap me up in his arms and kiss the hell out of me. It’s scary, and it’s hard to let go of all that fear. But the truth won’t hurt us; it will only help us grow. And I have to be honest with myself and him.

I love him. I need him. And nothing can ever change that.

I’m a mess without him. Hell, I’m a mess with him, but I have to clean it up and be the woman he needs and deserves. That woman is someone who loves him, and I’m that woman, I just need to tell him that because I can’t go another second without him.