Close to Her Heart (3 page)

“She needed time to process. To re-vision her life. And yes,” Eliot looked up from his phone, which had captured his interest for the third time that afternoon. “She’s going to keep the kid. Who happens to be due mid-September.”

“Thank you for the brief,” Miriam said.

“It’s what we lawyers do best.” He hesitated. “Actually, second-best—” a wolfish grin left them with no doubt as to what was first on the list.

“So what does Adri—?”

Again Eliot cut in. “He doesn’t know.”

“Oh?”

The disapproving arch in Miriam’s eyebrows was even more condemning than that one worded question. Dani reacted by turning her back on the both of them, filling her watering can and going to tend the plants lined up like refugees on her windowsill.

One thing she’d loved about growing up in Montana, was working with her mother in their large vegetable and flower gardens. She didn’t have a yard in her condo, obviously. But she collected houseplants from people who didn’t have green thumbs. Her collection included an English Ivy from Eliot, a Jade plant from Miriam and several African violets from Mr. Boswell down the hall. Usually by the time people gave her their plants, they were almost dead. But she watered, fertilized and pinched them back to health, like a fussy mother hen.

Gently, Dani touched one of the velvety leaves of the plant she’d just finished dousing with water. Two years ago, this delicate violet had been flowerless, with only a half dozen green leaves still on the stem. Now it displayed a profusion of pink flowers. She found this very satisfying. And calming.

“Okay. Enough avoiding the subject,” Miriam said firmly. “Have you really not told Adrian that you’re pregnant with his baby?”

Dani folded her arms defensively over her chest. “I’m telling him on Sunday. We have lunch plans.”

“You mean he actually slotted you in on the weekend?” Miriam gave her a thumbs up.

“Only because Ava’s been invited to a neighbor’s birthday party.” It was ridiculous, but sometimes her relationship with Adrian felt almost illicit. They were two unmarried, consenting adults. It shouldn’t be this difficult.

“Are you afraid he’s going to ask you to terminate?” Miriam asked.

Dani stared at her, astounded. Miriam was always blunt. But this was a bit much—or was it? Maybe the reason she objected to the question was because she was afraid it might be true. “I have no idea how he’s going to react,” she admitted. “I’m hoping—he’ll feel the same as me.”

Miriam and Eliot exchanged a quick glance. The flash of doubt in their faces told Dani that they were worried she was going to get hurt. But they didn’t know Adrian. And they’d always been prejudiced against him.

“Well, whatever Adrian says, this
is
exciting news.” Miriam crossed the room and offered her arms. Dani had to crouch a little to hug the petite woman, but it did feel nice all the same.

“If you need someone to take you maternity clothes shopping, I’m your girl.”

Dani smiled her gratitude. “That’s exactly what I need.”

“But first a Rumi Cube tournament,” Eliot said, slipping his phone back into his pocket. “And some real cocktails. Give me a minute to hunt down the ingredients for virgin mojitos. I have some fresh mint in my fridge.”

“Virgin? You guys don’t have to stop drinking alcohol because of me.”

“Consider it an act of solidarity.” Eliot flashed her a smile before taking off on his mission. As he closed the door, Miriam let out a groan.

“When did you say your baby is due?”

“October first.”

“That’s a long time to go without alcohol.”

Dani put a hand on her stomach. “Tell me about it.”

*

Happy Hour parties usually lasted well past midnight, but by ten o’clock that evening, Dani had her home to herself. Eliot had taken his iPod with him so the place was quiet. Her blender was soaking in the sink. She wasn’t sure if the green scum would ever come off. Eliot’s concoction of virgin mojitos had actually tasted great—and had even looked pretty when served in her fancy margarita glasses.

But the lack of alcohol had definitely put a damper on the evening. Miriam, in her usual forthright way, had said it best.

“I’m not sure I like you guys when you’re sober.”

Was that the problem? Were they all dull when they weren’t drinking?

It was a sobering—ha-ha—thought.

But not, Dani suspected, the truth.

It was her news that had taken the fizz out of the evening. Eliot and Miriam weren’t sure how to treat her now. And they were apprehensive about her decision to keep the baby, Dani could tell.

Which made her just the smallest bit angry. Just because they couldn’t imagine raising a child, didn’t mean they should automatically assume she was incapable.

On—maybe she was? Especially if the baby was born with—…extra challenges.

All night she’d been avoiding thinking about what the ultrasound had shown. But the worry had planted like a seed in her gut and it was growing larger with every hour. She’d studied Down Syndrome in a Life Span Development course when she was getting her masters. She understood the science, knew that the congenital defects were the result of an extra twenty-first chromosome.

In practical terms, a baby with Down Syndrome was going to have both cognitive and physical challenges, of varying degrees of severity.

Dani went into the room she used for her office, custom designed with built-in bookshelves and drawers she used for her files. The long desk faced an oil painting of Paradise Valley, her long-ago Montana home. There were no ranches or buildings of any kind in her painting. Just nature. Mountains and sky that took on different hues depending on the amount of light coming in the window. That was true in real life, too. Depending on the time of day, and even her mood, she always saw something different when she was driving the long road that curved along the floor of that valley. The painting reminded her that while she hadn’t enjoyed growing up on a ranch, she’d been lucky to be surrounded by so much beauty.

She sat in her office chair, then swiveled to face the filing cabinets. It took only a few minutes to locate her old notes from the Life Span course. She had a very organized filing system.

Once she’d scanned through that information, she still had questions, so she turned to the Internet. She searched for books and downloaded a few. She devoured several of the stories about children and their families and found them reassuring. Many of the less-severely affected children eventually reached the same milestones as “normal” children. They sat up and crawled, learned to walk, and eventually to talk as well. Some were able to graduate high school, hold a job, and in many respects live a so-called “normal” life.

It’s going to be okay. If it happens—I can handle it.

But. There was a good chance it
wouldn’t
happen. Her research had reassured her that Down Syndrome couldn’t be identified accurately via ultrasound at sixteen weeks. She wasn’t going to panic. After all, she was under the age threshold of thirty-five years, at which point the chances of a mother having an affected baby went up.

Yeah. But only one year under that threshold…

Eventually, she went to bed. And eventually she also fell asleep.

*

Damn it, this was stupid. Eliot rolled over in bed frustrated that he was still awake. He
never
had trouble sleeping. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Dani and the fact that she was pregnant. How could she have let that happen? Bad enough that she was dating—or sneaking around with—that self-absorbed bastard from her work. Eliot had been waiting for her to come to her senses and realize she deserved more from a man than occasional dinners and romps in the sack.

But this was a big setback to that plan.

Finally, he fell asleep, but only fitfully. When dawn came he was happy to give up on a lost cause and go out for his morning run. Often Dani joined him, but today it was too early to knock on her door and ask her along.

Just as well. Eliot needed some thinking time. He set a pace faster than usual, but not fast enough to escape the basic facts of the situation. Dani Carrigan, the woman who was supposed to soon realize that Adrian Carlson was a jerk and break up with him, now seemed to be in more in love with the cad than ever. And was having his baby.

That last one was the zinger. Eliot had stick-handled enough divorces to know that it wasn’t marriage certificates that kept couples together. It was children. This baby would forever tie Dani and Adrian together, which he was sure was not in Dani’s best interests.

Not that Eliot was in love with Dani himself. But he did like her and consider her one of the loveliest women he’d ever met. She was brainy, but sweet, and despite her sophistication in many areas had remnants of country charm that he found completely disarming.

A woman of Dani Carrigan’s calibre deserved a man who placed her at the center of his world. Not in a corner.

After his five mile route, Eliot showered and tried to read the morning paper until he judged it was late enough to call on Dani. He went out first, to pick up flowers and a take-out breakfast sandwich from B.B.’s. He bought one for himself, too, and downed the delicious egg, cheese and spinach sandwiched between halves of a warm buttermilk biscuit, in four bites.

Yum. Apparently his sleepless night wasn’t affecting his appetite.

It was just after ten when he tapped on Dani’s door. As soon as he saw her he could tell she’d had a restless night, too.

“Trouble sleeping?”

“Yeah. I mostly read and watched old episodes of
The Big Bang Theory.
”

He didn’t admit to his own insomnia, because the underlying causes had to be concealed. If he confessed her predicament had rendered him sleepless, too, she might jump to some wrong conclusions about his feelings for her. For instance, the urge he had to pull her into his arms right now was merely friendly. But since that, too, might be misconstrued he merely kissed her lightly on the forehead before presenting her with the spring blossoms.

“For the mother-to-be. Miriam and I were in shock yesterday. Forgive us if we weren’t appropriately congratulatory.”

“Thank you. They’re beautiful.” She added water, then placed them on the low table in the living room. As she padded back to the kitchen table, she focused on his soft leather loafers, then glanced up past the pressed blue jeans to his striped shirt and linen blazer, both rolled up at the cuffs.

She shook her head. “You look so good. And you’ve already showered, which means you’ve been out for your run. And been shopping. What time did you get up?”

“Six.- Ish.”

“I used to have energy once, too. I think. Back in the days when I could still drink caffeine.”

“You do look tired. And aren’t those the same clothes you were wearing yesterday?” He hadn’t thought Lycra could wrinkle. But hers certainly had. That didn’t stop her from looking beautiful. Dani was always beautiful. And so gorgeously unaware of the fact.

“I don’t have anything else that fits.”

“Not even pajamas?”

“You can tell I slept in this?”

“Um. Yeah.” His gaze swept over her uncombed hair and make-up free face. “Tell me you’ve had breakfast, at least.”

“Milk and my multi-vitamin.”

“Mom cannot live on milk alone,” he announced, handing her the B.B. bag.

“Oh my gosh. Amazing. How did you know I was craving one of these?” She bit hungrily into the sandwich, then mumbled her thanks.

He pulled out his phone and called Miriam. “I’m at Dani’s and I’m staging an intervention. You have to take her shopping. Now. Okay, I’ll give you half an hour. No longer.” When he’d ended the call, he added, “I suggest you do something with your hair before Miriam gets here.”

Dani set the sandwich aside for a moment, so she could deal grab her brush and an elastic from the bathroom. “I’d forgotten what it’s like to have a mom. You’re good at it.”

He perched on one of the kitchen stools and regarded her thoughtfully. He’d lost his mother when he was nineteen. Dani, when she was sixteen. They talked about it sometimes, the way it hurt. The way the missing never stopped, not even now that they were adults.