Closer To You (Suits in Pursuit) (14 page)

“
Sir, I need to speak with you right away,” Brenda said. He could hear the urgency in her voice.

“Ashley, thank you,”
he said dismissing her. He turned to Brenda as Ashley made her way out of the office and closed the door behind her.

Brenda paced the floor, and then paused.
“Mr. Christensen, I just found out that Kerrigan quit two days ago. She sent in her resignation letter to Human Resources. Marie just found out, too.” She sputtered breathlessly.

“What
? She quit! Why would she do that?” Axel gripped his head with both hands and threw his head back against the desk chair. “Brenda, please cancel my meetings this afternoon. I’m leaving early.”

“Okay.
Let me know if I can do anything to help.”

He
studied Brenda for a moment before speaking. He hadn’t said anything about the nature of their relationship to her directly, but she had helped him plan his unofficial dates with Kerrigan and he had openly confirmed the office rumors. Of course, there had also been the time when Axel and Kerrigan made love in his office.

“Brenda, thank you. I’m sorry for being so
impossible this week. I appreciate you more than you know.”

“It’s okay
sir. I understand.”

Sprinting through the building, he shoved people aside in the hallways as he dashed his way to the
stairwell and then took the steps two by two on his way to his SUV parked in the garage. The odometer reached record speeds as Axel sped down the interstate. The drive to her apartment complex that would have normally taken twenty minutes only took him ten minutes. He jumped out of his vehicle and ran to her front door. Banging on the door hard, he stopped when there was no answer after several minutes. Finally, one of her neighbors emerged from across the hall.

The older man confronted him
. “Is there some sort of emergency young man? You’ve been pounding on that door for ten minutes straight. The young lady isn’t there.”

“Do you know where she’s gone?”
He asked desperately.

“No. I think she moved out. Movers
showed up yesterday.”

“What! This can’t be happening
,” he muttered under his breath. His stomach ached, as though the wind had been knocked out of him. “Thank you,” he said to the man and trudged back to his vehicle, exasperated.

Axel
sat there for several minutes. He had no idea why she’d done this and didn’t know where she had gone. He was beside himself. Pulling out his phone, he dialed her mobile number again. This time, the phone didn’t ring. Instead, the call went directly to voicemail.

“Kerrigan.
This is Axel. Baby, please call me back. I’m so worried. Why did you quit? Why did you move? Where are you? We can work this out, slow things down. I’m sorry. I love you so much. I need you. I’m begging. Please call me back. Please Kerrigan, don’t do this,” he pleaded.

He
sat there for an hour. Finally realizing that she was gone, he drove off and went home.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Saturday, November 3

That week was the worst in
Axel’s life. He barely left his bedroom. Emma tried to console him, but it did little good. She was just as baffled. Though he had been harsh toward her, she had said some hurtful things to him too. Nothing seemed so severe that should have caused her to quit her job and move away. They couldn’t make any sense of her actions. He was sure that she loved him as much as he loved her. The love they had shared was one-of-a-kind, and he knew there was no way she could walk away so suddenly the way she had.

Skirting along the kitchen island, Emma eased toward Axel.
“Give her some time. She’s hurting and scared. She’ll come around,” Emma said.

“It
just makes no sense. Why would she move away?”

“Dear, love makes people do strange things. I
’ll admit, her leaving does strike me as odd, but maybe she thought you meant to end things with her. Do you think she thought you’d fire her?”

Leaning on the island, Axel buried his face in his hand.
“Emma, even if she thought that, I’ve left message after message, apologizing for my harsh reaction. I’ve pleaded for her to call me. She hasn’t even called back once.”

Emma touched his shoulder.
“Give her time. That’s all you can do. Where do you think she went?” She tilted her head. Her questioning eyes meeting his anguished ones.

He threw his hands up in the air.
“If I knew, I’d be there now. I have no idea. I have a few leads, which I plan to follow up on. I know her parents’ names. They live in San Diego. She also has a brother who’s a doctor. He also lives in San Diego. I talked with her best friend on Friday. She doesn’t know anything either.”

Her lips drew into a taut line across her face.
“Well, if you need me, I’m here for you. Try not to worry too much. You need to rest.”

Later that evening
, sitting at the desk in his home office, he emailed her again.

11:
49 p.m. on Saturday, November 3

To: Kerrigan Mulls

From: Axel Christensen

Subject: Worried and lonely. Please come back.

Kerrigan,

I’m sorry. Please forgive me and come back to me. I know you need time to
trust me, and I need to be more patient. I want so much more with you, and sometimes it’s hard for me to slow down. You mean everything to me. I love you so much. I can’t imagine my life without you. Please come back. We can work through our issues together. I need you.

Always yours,

Axel

Her
email bounced back. She had deleted her personal email account. Kerrigan was a ghost. He slammed his palms down on the desk. A sharp pain shot up and recoiled through his arms.. He screamed into the stillness of the room, his heartache much more severe than any physical pain. His plan had backfired in the worst imaginable way.

Wednesday, December 19

Nearly two months had passed since Kerrigan’s disappearing act. Axel hadn’t been the same since. He was withdrawn and sullen. He poured all his effort into his work, and into finding her. He had been traveling quite a bit for work, slowing down the progress on his search for her. The month prior, he had hired a private investigator, Michael Jones, who up to this point hadn’t been able to find anything substantial on her. There weren’t even any leads on Facebook or any other social networking sites. She had dropped off the face of the earth. Jones had given him the last known address and phone number for her parents. He had written a letter addressed to her there, but the envelope was returned as undeliverable. He had also tried calling their last known phone number, but that number had been disconnected with no forwarding number. His last resort was to track down her brother Jordan. Jordan is a doctor in the San Diego area that fact made tracking him down easy. He had anticipated that Jordan would protect his sister, but he hoped he would be objective and perhaps even willing to help once he explained the situation

Kerrigan had cut all ties with her friends, including Ashley.
Her decision wasn’t personal, but she didn’t want to be reminded of that life. The wound hurt too much. The memory of the day she discovered the truth about Axel was still so fresh as if she walked into the coffee shop yesterday. She was too embarrassed and hurt to tell anyone what she had heard him say about her, what he had done to her. She decided to start over anew and forget her time in Atlanta. She was in survival mode, retreating home to San Diego was all she knew to do.

Kerrigan sat in his home office on the sofa sobbing her heart out.

She lie across the sofa, her feet propped up on the armrest, and her head snuggled into an emerald green throw pillow at the other end. “I’ve been sick since I left the East Coast. I just can’t shake this nauseous feeling, and the daily headaches are killing me.”

Jordan, who sat in the window seat opposite her, lifted his head. “Little sis, maybe you should go see a doctor. Do you have any other symptoms?”

She leaned up on her elbow. “You’re always on the clock.” Her scowl turned in a slight grin. “I never knew heartbreak would take such a physical toll on me. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep, and I’m sure the lack of food and rest, have made my symptoms worse.”

Jordan stood, ambled to the sofa and sat next to her feet. “As a doctor, but more importantly as your overly protective big brother, I really think you should see someone. It might be nothing—heartbreak as you said. But as a precaution, you should be checked out.” He stood again and headed to his desk. Opening the top drawer, he retrieved a stack of business cards and riffled through them. “Here, take this.”

She snatched the card from him. “You do realize we live in the era of smartphones, don’t you? You could’ve texted the number to me.” She teased.

Scrunching his nose just the way their father did whenever he was being firm, Jordan frowned. “I mean what I said Kerrigan. Call tomorrow and make an appointment.”

“Relax, will you? I’ll make an appointment.”

Kerrigan twisted her hands in her lap, her eyes darting over the charts and posters that hung on the pale yellow walls of the sterile room.
Jordan had recommended Dr. Sanders. The ill feeling she had for the past few weeks had worsened in a week. The nausea turned to vomiting, and bouts of sickness, increased every day.

Dr. Sanders was a
petite middle-aged woman who resembled an Irish pixie with her upturned nose and pointy ears. The minutes passed and seemed like hours. She was taking too long to return. Something must have been wrong. Finally, Dr. Sanders entered the room with her paperwork and lab results in hand. She was restless as Dr. Sanders pulled out the report and scanned it over.

She
wore a gentle smile. “Kerrigan, I have your results. Are you ready?”

“Yes. Is everything okay?”

“Well, that depends.”

Suddenly, she
gulped hard, and the walls were spinning around Kerrigan, fast. She clung to the sides of the examination table to keep from falling off.

“Depends on what? What does it say?”

“Congratulations. You’re pregnant. We’ll do an ultrasound, but from what you’ve told me, my guess is that you’re about eight to ten weeks along.”

“Pregnant? How’s that possible? I mean, I know how
babies are made, but I was a virgin up until two months ago. I didn’t think it could happen so fast, especially since I’m on birth control.”

Doctor Sanders took her hand.
“You’ve been having unprotected sex. You said you were on birth control?”

“Yes, I was taking them to regulate my cycle.”

“Have you missed any pills?”

“No
…I don’t remember. I don’t think so. Maybe once.” She recalled forgetting the pill the day of their argument, and perhaps a couple of other times. “I didn’t think skipping a few pills would matter.”

“
Skipping pills increases your odds of getting pregnant. There’s no denying this. The baby is real, but you have options if this isn’t what you want.”

She wrapped her arms around her belly
, and winced. “You mean abortion? I couldn’t do that.”

“
That’s one option, but that’s not your only choice. There’s also adoption.”

“Dr. Sanders, I c
ouldn’t do that either.”

“
Then the only other option is to have this baby, and love and care for your child.”

She
leaned forward and sobbed softly, then pulled her arms even tighter around her body. Her life had taken an unexpected turn, yet again. This was the cruelest twist of fate. There was no escaping the memory of Axel Christensen.  

“Thank you Dr. Sanders. I’ll think over my options, but the facts are that I can’t afford a baby right now. I have no
job, no insurance and I’m living with my brother until I land on my feet again. I hadn’t planned on a baby, especially right now.”

“
This is none of my business, and you don’t have to answer, but maybe something for you to consider. Perhaps the baby’s father would be willing to help.”

T
ears welled up in Kerrigan’s eyes again, a different sort of sickness invaded her stomach.

“Thanks. I’ll think it over.” There was no way she would
involve Axel. He didn’t want anything to do with her, and a child was the last thing he wanted.

Dr.
Sanders grabbed her other hand, squeezed and then released it. She handed her some tissues and informational pamphlets. “Here are some resources to help you with your decision. Whatever you do, make sure you can live with your choice. I suggest you speak to a professional who can help you think through the best decision for you.”