Closer To You (Suits in Pursuit) (18 page)

“Sandy, I’m leaving now. Thank you again for the gift.
I love the blanket, and I appreciate your generosity.”

“
You’re very welcome. After a day like this, I figure I still owe you.” She smiled. “Oh Kerrigan, don’t forget your flowers. They’re beautiful, and they were obviously sent out of love. You shouldn’t let such a beautiful thing go to waste. Besides, the flowers will brighten your home.” Sandy winked.

She
stared at the arrangement again and swallowed hard. “You’re right. They’ll be lovely in my cottage. Thanks again. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She
took the vase and walked outside. Her arms were overloaded, but she only needed to make it to her car, parked at the other end of the lot. She walked down the sidewalk a few feet when she heard someone calling her name.

“Those flowers are almost as beautiful as you are.
Can I help carry some of the load?”

The
familiar voice echoed from behind, and her knees buckled as she spun around.

Before she hit the ground, strong arms
enveloped Kerrigan. He brought her close to him, their bodies pressed firmly together as he gathered her up from the near collision with the hard concrete walkway.

She blinked rapidly, her eyes darting around her. She had never heard that pregnancy brain could cause hallucinations.

He led her to a nearby bench. Sandy rushed out and handed her a glass of water as Kerrigan slowly began to realize what was happening.

Axel
kneeled down beside her, one of his hands holding hers. Face void of color and brows drawn, concern etched on his face. “You okay?” Axel asked.

“
Axel?” She muttered, barely above a whisper. “What … why are you here?” She stammered, still stunned that she was looking at the man in the flesh and blood.

“I came for you
, for us,” he said, staring her up and down, and then studying her face. “After you’re feeling better we need to talk. I’ll wait for as long as it takes.” He caressed her hand. “I’ll be right back sweetheart.”

He stood and
asked Sandy to step aside with him. Sandy frowned at the request, but joined him, never taking her eyes off Kerrigan. They spoke in hushed tones, and Kerrigan couldn’t hear what was being said. There was no doubt that the flowers had come from Axel.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Axel held out his hand to help Kerrigan up
from the bench. Nervous eyes stared at him. Seconds passed before she placed her hand in his and stood. He moved closer and placed his hand on the small of her back, the tingling feeling that started in his belly crawled up his spine. Escorting her to his silver rental car, he carried her bags, and she carried the bouquet. Once settled in the car, Axel searched her face intensely for a few moments, and then moved his eyes down her tiny frame. His gaze landed on the small belly bump. Eyes wide, his head jerked.

She
faced the passenger window and inhaled a deep breath. Turning back to him she exhaled. “Axel, why are you here? Please don’t do this to me.” Tears flooded Kerrigan’s eyes.

His tone was gentle.
“I … I came here for you. I’ve been sick with worry.” His eyes drawn to her mid-section again, fastened. “You shut me out Kerrigan. You disappeared suddenly without a word. You wouldn’t return my calls or emails. I needed to talk to you, and I knew the only way I could do that was to come to you. Since the day you left me, I’ve been miserable. What else was I supposed to do?”

He marveled at her
belly again. Pulling the white sweater tightly around her waist, she tried to conceal her secret.

Axel drove
toward the hotel neither saying a word. He cut a sidelong glance at her and she caught his eyes, turning away instantly. He cleared his throat every few minutes and she kept her attention on the world outside the passenger window, sighing occasionally.

They arrived fifteen minutes later.
He hustled to the passenger side and helped her out the vehicle. Carrying her things, he led her through the lobby toward the elevators and up to his guest suite.

T
hey walked inside his suite. She looked around, her eyes taking in the room’s details, noted the baby grand piano and a large gift box seated on the bench. Fidgeting with nervous hands, she shifted from one foot to the next.

“That gift is for you.” He said.

Her eyes stretched wide, and she nodded.

He
closed and locked the door behind them, and then placed the bouquet and her bags on a foyer table. Without a word, he turned to face her, stepped forward and took her into his arms. Holding her tight against him, her baby bump pressed into his abdomen. He leaned down and covered her soft lips with his. Small hands placed on his chest trembled, and she clung to him, Axel’s claim over Kerrigan hadn’t been broken. After a few moments, he stopped and stared into her eyes. He took her by the hand and led her to a sofa that sat in front of a wall of glass doors overlooking San Diego Bay. When she was seated, he walked into the kitchen.

“I’ll
get us something to drink. Is lemonade okay?”

“Lemonade is fine,” Kerrigan replied.

“Are you hungry? Can I get you something to eat?”

“No, thank you. I’m fine.” Her voice trembled.

Restless hands wrung in her lap, and her eyes stayed fix to him,
watched his every move as he poured two tall glasses of lemonade and swaggered leisurely back to the sofa. He placed both glasses down on the sofa table in front of them and then sat next to her so closely that their knees grazed.

He took both of her
graceful hands into his masculine ones. “Is there something you need to tell me, sweetheart?” He asked, looking into her eyes, searching for the light that used to shine for him. A sudden pang struck him in the chest at the fear and sadness in her sunken eyes.

Kerrigan turned her face away.

He released the firm grip he had on one of her hands, covered her round belly with his large hand, long fingers gently massaging and caressing her through her dress. She flinched, but he steadied her by placing his other hand against the small of her back.

“When were you going to tell me?”
he asked softly.

Kerrigan
nodded her head. “I don’t know,” Kerrigan mumbled and looked down into her lap.

“Were you planning to keep our baby
away from me?”

“Axel, I’m keeping
the baby, and I don’t expect or want anything from you. You’ll never have to be burdened by the baby or me. I’ll put this in writing if you want and then you can be on your merry way.”

“Kerrigan, I’m
hurt and surprised. You’re pregnant, and you didn’t plan to tell me. Why do you think I want nothing to do with you or our child? Our baby is the product of our love. After all of our lovemaking, everything we’ve shared, a baby was inevitable. My love for you has only gotten stronger. You’re the only woman for me, the only woman I’ve ever wanted. You don’t have to do this alone. We can raise our child together.”

“Axel, you got what you wanted from me. I know you’ve moved on. Stop acting as though you care. What else do you want? Are you trying to hurt me
deliberately?” She looked up at him, tears on the verge of spilling from her eyes like a waterfall.

“Baby, I haven’t moved on. There isn’t anyone else for me. It’s only been you,
always you. I’ve never lied to you, never betrayed you. I love you. There’s been a huge misunderstanding. Please give me a chance to explain.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. What happened between us is in the past. I’ve accepted
this fact, and I’ve moved on.”

He
moved closer to her, gently stroking her cheek as he gazed deeply into her, seeing her soul.

“Have you? Kerrigan you’re a terrible liar. The
kiss we just shared says differently. Our baby growing inside you says differently. Your eyes say differently. Your heart says differently. I know what you think you saw and heard that day at the coffee shop. You only heard part of that conversation, and what you heard was out of context. I wish you had come to me and confronted me with what you thought. Just listen to me. I’m here to end the suffering for both of us, because Kerrigan, I’ve been lost without you. I’m hurting too. You broke my heart.”

Glistening with moisture,
her eyes widened—ready to erupt.

“The woman you saw me talking to is my cousin Melody. We were talking about Sara
Murphy, the woman who tried to exhort money from my family and me. I’ve been in litigation with her for years, and I had just won my lawsuit against her.” He searched her eyes. “Our conversation was about Sara and what you heard me saying was about her, not you baby. I would never say such awful things about you. Do you know how badly I hurt knowing that you always think the worst of me? I’m a good man Kerrigan. What can I do to prove myself to you?”

He thought back to the advice his father had given him.

“My father once told me that you get out of life what you expect, whether real or manufactured in your head. I didn’t understand what he meant until you left me. You expected me to break your heart, and that’s what you manufactured. You need to set different expectations of me, of us. I’m not the villain. I love you, and I expect to have a future with you.”

Axel’s handsome face contorted, and his eyes moistened. Kerrigan’s mouth dropped open.
His words registered clearly, and it all made sense. She hung her head, remaining silent for a few moments.

Tears streamed down
Kerrigan’s face, and she stuttered until the words leaped from her lips. “Axel, I, I don’t know what to say. I ruined everything between us.” She sobbed, gasping for air between words.

He lifted her chin
and stared deeply into her eyes with his blue ones.

“Kerrigan, I love you. I
need you. I want to work things out between us. That’s why I’m here. What I want is for you to come home with me.”

“How can you forgive me so easily? How can you want me back? I’ve ruined everything and treated you so unfairly. I was so stubborn.”

“Love forgives. I was angry and stubborn. The way I stormed out on you that morning was cruel. When I discovered the reason you ran away, I was hurt, but my love for you is greater than any problem we could face. I’ve replayed my conversation with Melody repeatedly in my head. I understand how my words must have sounded, how she and I must have looked and how you must have felt. If I hadn’t still been harboring such anger after all these years, I wouldn’t have had that outburst, and none of this would have happened. I’ve spent the last couple of months in misery without you and I’m not leaving until you agree to come home with me.”

Axel took her in his arms again
and pulled her close.

“Axel, I’m sorry. I should have come to you before assuming
and expecting the worst. I should have trusted you. I should have been honest with you about my feelings. I love you Axel.” The words rolled off Kerrigan’s tongue easily. Trembling in his arms, her blurry eyes meet his eager gaze.

“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have been so
harsh to you. I should have been patient. I love you Kerrigan. I’ll never stop loving you.” 

Taking her into his arms, he
kissed her deeply, enrapturing her. She melted in his arms as she always did, wrapping her shaky fingers around the ridges of his muscular arms for her own strength.

He pulled away and spoke gently, but with
authority now. “Baby, I’m not letting you go this time. I’m not letting you run away from our love, and I’m not slowing down. I want you Kerrigan Mulls, and I will have you—this time on my terms. Do you understand my intentions for you?”

She
nodded in agreement. Wrought with emotion, unable to speak and not fully comprehending the meaning of his words, she would do whatever he asked of her.

“Kerrigan, do you trust me?”

“Yes. I trust you.”

“Kerrigan, I’ve missed you so much. I
nearly lost my mind without you. Promise me that you’ll never leave me again. Promise to come to me, to talk to me about anything, everything.”

“Axel, I’m so sorry for hurting you. I promise not to leave you again. We’ll work
through our problems together. I love you.”

He
wrapped her in his arms and held her close in silence for a long while as they took in the view of the bay.

Axel was
soft and gentle with her. He lifted her from the sofa and carried her to the bedroom. Slowly, sensually he slipped her arms out of the straps, freeing her of the sundress she wore. He laid her down on the bed and kissed her tenderly, starting at her thighs and trailing his lips up to her stomach, between her bosoms and then capturing her bottom lip. Her body shivered at the touch of his hands.

“Ah. Axel,” she moaned softly.

Swiftly, he rose and ripped his white shirt away from his flesh. After yanking down his jeans and gray boxer briefs, she gasped at his naked body, and a fully erected cock. Kneeling between her quivering thighs, he spread her wide and eased into her haven. “I love you, I need you. I can’t live without you,” he whispered into her ear.

Breathless, she whimpered back, “I love you. I need you. I’m sorry.”

“Shh. Enough of sorry. Feel how much I love you Kerrigan.”

Waves crashed against the shoreline in sync with his deep thrusts. T
heir bodies united unlike any other time before, more spiritual, sensual and emotional. This time when they made love, their souls mated.

“Axel. Ah. Axel.”

Deep thrusts measured with purpose, he took his time, whispering softly. “Oh, Kerrigan. I love you. I love you.”