Standing outside St. Michael's Catholic Church, I brushed a piece of lint from the leg of my Marine uniform. My heart beat a staccato rhythm. I prayed that I was doing the right thing. But when I moved inside to the altar and watched Ethel, dressed in a long white wedding dress, walk slowly toward me down the aisle, my doubts gave way to certainty. She looked beautiful, and I knew that she was just as beautiful a person on the inside as she looked on the outside.
I straightened my shoulders under my uniform. Proud of my service as a Marine, I had forgone the custom of displaying Native American finery on my wedding day: no headband, no white pants with velveteen shirt, no rust-colored moccasins with white soles, no heavy silver concho belt or silver-and-turquoise bracelets and rings, no necklace of turquoise
heishi
beads, enhanced with a drop of turquoise nuggets. Just my Marine uniform.
Ethel approached in her white dress, smilingâno velveteen blouse, no long skirt with sash belt, no turquoise-and-silver jewelry. Her hair was curled in a modern do, not tied into a traditional knot.
Instead of the exchange of a dowry, we stood at the altar and exchanged vows. Instead of Ethel and me drinking water together and feeding each other from a basket holding cornmeal mush,
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we ate wedding cake.
I relaxed. Everything proceeded smoothly. Ethel tossed the bouquet.
Then, to satisfy tradition, Ethel and I dressed in casual clothing and drove to nearby Hunter's Point, on the reservation, still in Arizona. An outdoor ceremony there was presided over by a medicine man, who blessed us both and blessed our union.
After the blessing, both of our families observed the Navajo tradition of flooding us with advice. Our families, sitting in separate groups, took turns. They talked about things like living according to the Good Way. Grandfather emphasized the responsibilities: caring for each other, caring for the children who would come. Other relatives chipped in with more advice about raising children, and about deciding where to live.
We newlyweds listened carefully. Then we all celebrated with a picnic, reminding me of Ethel's and my courtship days in Lawrence, Kansas.
After the wedding, we returned to my house in Albuquerque, where I looked for work.
I was lucky. During the week, I ate lunch at the unemployment office. It took almost a month, but they finally called me, and I went to interview at the VA Hospital.
The engineering supervisor at the Veterans' Administration Hospital, Mr. Ertman, had some Native American friends of whom he thought highly. When he interviewed me, he gave me a job on the spot.
I was luckier than many. A lot of the code talkers, after gaining the respect of the Marines, figured they would be able to get that same respect back home in white society. But many couldn't find jobs. That sometimes led to drinking. And the drinking spiraled into lost opportunities and vanished self-respect. Too many men died of the diseasesâboth mental and physicalâexacerbated by alcohol. Penniless. But they didn't give away the secret of the code talkers, even to save their own skins.
I worked on the VA maintenance crew. The hospital had its own electric shop, paint shop, and carpentry shop, on-site maintenance for just about everything. I worked in the paint shop. While painting, I discovered that I had a talent for mixing colors to match existing walls and ceilings. Of course, computerized paint mixing had not yet been developed. I guess my fine-arts education helped train my eye. With a spray gun and a paintbrush I painted the entire hospital and the residences surrounding it.
When the chapel needed to be painted, I spent a month designing and executing a mural of
Ye'ii
figures. The twelve
Ye'ii
are powerful spirits who act as mediators between man and his creator. Often portrayed as manlike figures with masks and painted chests, they are roughly the Navajo equivalent of the Pueblo Kachinas. Some wear young, flexible piñon branches around their necks. Some carry a gourd rattle and a feather. Hanging from their elbows like banners are designs that represent the universe and the Good Way of life. My mural contained stylized versions of the
Ye'ii,
because an exact depiction was forbidden according to Navajo tradition. The mural is still there, although the VA chapel was converted into a recreation room some years ago.
I was happy at the VA. I made many friends. One, Benny Gutierrez, was especially close. Benny, a big man, talked a lot and loved to joke. He was also a painter, and he and I worked on many projects together. Occasionally, Benny's wife, Sally, invited Ethel and me over for dinner.
In our rental, the electricity and running waterâwith a wringer machine to wash clothesâwere a luxurious change from the oil lamps and bucket-hauled water of hogan life. I returned to the hogan on occasion to help Dora with the livestock or just to visit. But fighting side by side with white men in the Marines had changed me. Like many Navajo military men, I expected to live in the white man's world, to be accepted and treated with courtesy and respect as a contributing member of mainstream society.
I had a wife, a job, and a life that pleased me. My postmilitary life was in balance, and I knew I “walked in beauty.” Like other Navajos, I knew that beauty could be found anywhere if you concentrated on living the Right Way. When things went wrong at work or at home, I set my jaw and determined to do whatever needed to be done to make my life and my family's lives comfortable.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Children
Early to late 1950s
Life flowed smoothly.
As a boy, I had never hunted. The sheep and goats fulfilled my family's need for meat. But living in the city, I missed the open vistas of the countryside. And meat no longer approached me on the hoof. A couple of friends and I decided to go for a hunt. Jake Morgan was a buddy I had known overseas, and Jack Begay had been in the Air Force. As veterans, we three found we had a lot in common.
That first hunt, I was nervous about the other hunters. All those guys with guns. I wondered whether they'd be careless.
We slept outside with no tent. Away from civilization, the New Mexico night sky held brilliant splatters of stars. I had grown to know the constellations as a child. They appeared so close. I could almost reach out and pick them like silvery, mica-laden rocks.
We brought no meat with us. After all, we were hunting meat, and we didn't want the Holy People to think we didn't need it. I knew we'd shoot a deer if we saw one, but never a bear. We Navajos see bears as relatives, and we respect them like a grandfather. Unlike other tribes, we don't use bear claws in our jewelry, and bear “trophies” never appear in Navajo homes.
When I bagged a deer, I immediately gave thanks with corn pollen. My prayer apologized for killing the deer and thanked him for allowing me to use his meat. I ate only the liver during the trip, and removed the entrails. I brought the remainder of the meat home.
Although I didn't take a daylong sweat bath before hunting, as hunters in “the old days” would have done, I left the head and hooves where I'd shot the animal, a sign of respect. There would be no trophies on my wall.
At home I butchered the carcass and saved the pelt. The butchering was done in the “Right Way,” according to tradition, so that the deer could return to the place where it had lived and inform the other deer that it had been treated with respect, in keeping with the balance required by nature. No meat was wasted, so the deer knew there had been a purpose in his death. He would tell the other deer of this. Ethel and I had meat for several months from that single deer.
Â
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I paced across the visitors' lounge in Gallup's Catholic hospital. How long would this take? Ethel lay somewhere in a delivery room. In a matter of hours, maybe even sooner, I'd be a father. I sat, then stood to resume pacing.
A doctor, his face solemn, approached. “Are you Chester Nez?”
I nodded.
“It was a rough birth,” he said. “We had trouble getting your daughter to breathe. I don't think she's going to make it. I'm sorry.”
“My wife?”
“She's exhausted, but she should be okay.”
I held little Georgann nervously. She seemed perfect, with all ten fingers, all ten toes, and a mop of black hair. But the birth had traumatized her tiny body and she had scratches on her shoulder, cheek, and knees.
She survived for only a half hour in the hospital.
In traditional Navajo culture, girl babies are highly valued. When they marry, their husbands come to live with the family, providing more hands to take care of the animals and crops. When boy children marry, they move away to live with their wife's family, so their labor is lost. I always wanted a girl, and I often think about the little girl who would have been my oldest.
Almost immediately, Ethel became pregnant again. When her time was near, I took her back to the hospital in Gallupâa three-hour drive from Albuquerque. I again paced the hospital floors while she endured labor. What if this baby died, too? But Stanley survived, a healthy boy, who later showed a talent for art, like me.
Michael was born two years later, in 1955, in Bernalillo County Medical Center in Albuquerque. He was followed by Ray and Albert, who we called “Chubby.”
Chubby didn't stay with us long. Ethel, older son Stanley, and Chubby went to visit Grandpa Catron on the train. At their stop, two-year-old Chubby jumped off the metal step, then, in high spirits, threw his head back and hit the step, fracturing his skull. He lapsed into a coma and died two weeks later of pneumonia in the Gallup hospital.
Chubby's death, in October, left my family bereft. Ethel couldn't seem to stop crying. I often walked outside our little house by myself. Mike tried to follow.
“Your father needs to be alone,” I heard Ethel tell him. But Mike followed me anyway. I tried to wipe the tears from my face before my son saw them.
Then, on December 24, Ethel's teenage niece had a baby boy. Unmarried, Francine didn't want to keep the baby. Ethel and I discussed it. I talked to Ethel's mother, saying we'd like to adopt Tyah.
The baby arrived just after Christmas, when he was only a week or two old. When we placed him in Ethel's arms, she cried from happiness. We told the other kids that he was a wonderful Christmas present. Everyone was thrilled to have him, the little boy Tyah, whose Navajo name meant “he goes among the people.” His middle name was Chester. We called him TC for short. Stanley became his protector.
Life settled back into a routine, and I prayed that things were once again in balance, that nothing else bad would happen.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The Secret Is Out
1968 and Beyond
The secret of our Navajo code was sustained for twenty-three years. In 1968, the military finally proclaimed it declassified. With modern equipment and new encryption methods, they decided they wouldn't be using the code again. We code talkers were released from our silence.
My father was very quiet when I told him that I had been a code talker. I saw the emotion in his face, and it took him a long time to say anything. He was so happy and proud. After our work was declassified, he used to kind of show me off. Many of my relatives and friends died before the code was released from restriction. I am so glad my father lived long enough to learn about my service as a code talker.
He loved that the Navajo language had played such an important part in the war. “I always thought they should use Navajo,” he told me after learning of my secret role.
With the release of the secrecy surrounding the Navajo code, I became a bit of a celebrity. That could be embarrassing. I know that I did my duty, nothing more. I had always lived by the Navajo custom which taught that no one should be treated as a hero for doing his duty.
I spoke at Harvard about my World War II experiences. Books about the code talkers began to appear, and I attended book signings, parades, and fairs. In 1971, President Richard Nixon honored us code talkers with a certificate thanking us for our honorable service to our country. In honor of the annual Navajo Tribal Fair that is held every September, he also sent word to Navajo Tribal Council chairman Peter McDonald:
[It] has come to my attention that the occasion will feature a special tribute to the Marine Corps Navajo Indian Code Talkers. I welcome this opportunity to reinforce the best wishes I extended to you, with special personal tribute to these outstanding citizens whose successful mission earned them the gratitude and admiration of all Americans. Their resourcefulness, tenacity, integrity and courage saved the lives of countless men and women and sped the realization of peace for war-torn lands. In the finest spirit of the Marine Corps, their achievements form a proud chapter in American military history. My congratulations to them on behalf of all their fellow citizens.
But somehow my sleeping enemy awoke. The nightmares returned. They quickly grew more frequent, until I again dreaded sleep.
“You need a ceremony,” Ethel told me. “Chinle is a place with a lot of magic. We can put up an Enemy Way there.” Ethel's relatives lived in Chinle, Arizona.
Another Enemy Way sing would combat the bad dreams, so my oldest brother, Charlie Gray, traveled to Chinle. There, he directed preparations for the sing. A cookhouseâa type of lean-to with a tent at the backâwas built with two east-facing doors, one for my family and one for Ethel's family.
A hogan was prepared for use in the ceremony. Each person entering the hogan had to move clockwise around the room, careful not to step over anyone. That was considered disrespectful, bad manners.
Charlie Gray acted as my guide during the ceremony, telling me where to go and what to do next. By tradition, as the patient, I did not sing and pray with the others during the ceremony. Also, no one could touch me, although they could acknowledge my presence by a nod or a
yá' át' ééh
greeting.
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