Cold (11 page)

Rocky took the jacket from her and then stepped out into the cold before putting it on. She looked around her. "It's so peaceful." Her voice was almost a whisper, maybe in reverence to the almost church-like silence around them.

"My nanny used to bring me here when I was a child," said Jo as she shrugged on her own jacket, pulling up the collar against the cold. She activated the door lock and the alarm and then joined Rocky as they headed for one of the dirt paths that led into the woods.

"You had a nanny?" said the blonde as she fell into step alongside the taller woman.

"Yeah, her name was Catherine. She was nanny to all of us."

Rocky pulled on her two pairs of gloves, and then pulled her hat out of a large pocket, jamming it onto her head. "How many of you are there?"

"I have a sister and a brother, both older than me." She bit her bottom lip, then asked: "What about you?"

Rocky's step didn't slow, but she kept her head down, watching her boots as they scuffed through the fallen leaves. "I don't have any brothers or sisters."

Jo looked down at the tense profile. "Sometimes I wished I didn't. Being the youngest, I was picked on by both of them."

"What did your parents do?" asked Rocky quietly. "They must have been busy to have a nanny."

"Not busy really," admitted Jo. "It was just the done thing."

Rocky stopped. "Jo, I know your parents are wealthy; what exactly do they do?"

Jo had walked a couple of steps ahead of Rocky when the blonde stopped, and she turned to face her, wondering if telling Rocky who exactly she was would have an effect on their friendship. "My father is Lord Collingford."

"Christ. Then you are ...?" Rocky plunged her hands further into her pockets, her head cocked to one side regarding the uncomfortable-looking woman standing on the muddy path ahead of her.

"My title is Lady Joanna Holbrook-Sutherland. I rarely use it though."

"It is a mouthful," said Rocky, and resumed her walk along the woodland path.

"So it doesn't bother you?" asked Jo, falling into step alongside the blonde.

"No, should it?" Rocky thought for a moment. "My being a vagrant should bother you more."

"Don't call yourself that."

"Why? It's what I am."

"You are homeless. Not a vagrant."

"A vagrant is homeless."

Jo sighed. "Yeah, but the word paints pictures of drunks sitting around a fire. I can't see you doing that."

"I have done," said Rocky. "Sometimes, when things get really bad out there, I take a drink or three."

"Why
are
you out there, Rocky?"

Green eyes found hers, and Jo watched as a hundred different emotions played across the pale face. For a long moment Jo thought that Rocky was going to ignore her, and again she wondered if she'd pushed too much too early.

"I wanted to disappear. I didn't have the strength to be where I was, I couldn't fight. So I decided to disappear." Rocky continued walking along the muddy path, her eyes fixed on the ground a few feet ahead of her. "I knew I could lose myself in London. And I did. I've never claimed a penny in benefit; as far as anyone is concerned, I'm dead."

The last word made Jo shiver, but she put it down to the dipping temperature rather than the emotionless way in which Rocky spoke the word.

"I can't imagine how you manage without money." Jo raised her hands to her mouth and blew on them, cursing the fact that she didn't have gloves.

"There are plenty of organisations that help people like me. Salvation Army, Christians, Buddhists, all sorts. I can get a hot meal at least once a day. And when my clothes become too threadbare I can get replacements."

"And if you become ill?"

"I don't. I've only had a couple of colds since I've been out here. I've been lucky. Edna gets me some of the things I need." She chuckled. "I think the folks at the Sally Army still wonder what a woman of her age needs tampons for."

Jo chuckled with her, but it faded quickly.

"Would you let me help you?"

Rocky sighed. "I still don't understand why, Jo. What brought you to Whitechapel?"

"Edna says something about destiny." Jo took a step towards the blonde. "Do you feel anything at all?" Jo had listened to Rocky's brief description of her life, and found she needed to find a way to get Rocky out of the cold, and into her life.

Rocky's head dropped, unable to hold the taller woman's gaze.

"You do, don't you?" said Jo.

The blonde head nodded. "I don't understand it. And it scares me."

Jo reached out putting a hand on each of Rocky's shoulders. "What is there to be afraid of?"

"I've learned to live with nothing, and not to want anything. Now I want something, and if..." She drew in a deep shuddering breath, unable, for the moment, to continue.

"What do you want, Rocky?" Jo lifted the pale face, now wet with tears.

Rocky's eyes were closed, tears forcing themselves from between tightly closed eyelids. "I want you." Her voice broke and her head fell forward onto Jo's chest as the dark woman pulled her close.

Jo was lost for words. She held on tight to the sobbing woman in her arms, resting her chin on the top of Rocky's hat-covered head.

"I can't believe I'm crying again," sniffled Rocky, leaning heavily into Jo. Her arms tentatively wound around Jo's waist, and found a certain comfort. It was the same feeling she got from her dreams, the dreams that were always chased away by the nightmares. "I cried last night as well."

Jo pulled away slightly, looking down at the shorter woman. "You did? Why was that?"

Rocky wiped a sleeve across her face. "I was talking to Edna." She looked up, a slightly embarrassed smile across her face. "About you."

"Really?" said Jo, and turned them both so that they were making their way down the path once more. She kept an arm around the blonde's shoulders as they walked, needing for the time being to have some contact with Rocky.

Rocky leaned into Jo as they walked. "Edna seems to think you're some kind of knight in shining armour, come to save me."

"And what do you think?"

"I don't know what to think. I want..." Rocky chuckled. "There I go breaking my rules again." She rubbed her face vigorously with her hands. "I want to believe you. But like you said. You're a lady. Why do you want to help me?"

Jo squeezed the shoulders of the girl walking alongside her. "I've dreamed about you too. In the dream you turned away from me. I was devastated. I felt so lost. So I decided if I did find you, I wouldn't let you walk away, because I couldn't stand to feel like that again."

"Do you believe in dreams?" asked Rocky, her head now leaning heavily against the solid body beside her.

"I do now. Now I've met you, held you, I know I need to be with you."

Rocky stopped suddenly, and Jo turned to face her again. "Is something wrong?" asked Jo.

"There's something I need to do too," said Rocky. She reached up and grabbed the small collar of Jo's jacket, pulling the taller woman down. As Jo's lips approached hers she stopped pulling, giving the dark woman every opportunity to pull out if she wished.

But Jo had no intention of pulling back. She was drawn to the full lips that beckoned her and nothing was going to stop her forward momentum. She closed her eyes as their lips met, bringing her hands up to cup cold cheeks, feeling small hands leave her collar and rest on her hips.

The kiss was brief, but none the less monumental. Jo pulled back and looked down into glassy green eyes.

"Thank you," Rocky whispered. "But I need to ask you something, Jo."

"What?" Jo's breath warmed Rocky's chin as she leaned in and kissed chilled lips again.

"I really need a loo."

Jo laughed and pulled the small blonde into an affectionate embrace. "Let's go find one then, and hope we don't freeze to the seat."

The two women made their way along the woodland path once more, the taller one inordinately pleased when the smaller reached out a small hand and curled it around her own.

They followed the green signs, and before long found a small building which housed a cafe, behind which were the toilets.

"I need..." Rocky pulled her hand from her tall companion's and pointed towards the new-looking building.

Jo stuffed her hands in her pockets. It had been so peaceful, walking in a comfortable silence with the small blonde. Now she felt the drop in temperature even more as the warm hand left hers.

She gestured towards the cafe with a nod of her head. "I'll go and order some hot drinks."

Rocky looked hesitant for a moment, shuffling from foot to foot. The she took a couple of steps back towards Jo, stood on tip toes and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks," she whispered, and was gone.

Jo watched her go, delighting in the smile Rocky bestowed on her as she glanced back at her. The grin was still firmly on her face as she entered the empty cafe.

Behind the counter an elderly woman looked up from wiping down the counter top.

"Hello, dear." She wiped her hands on some paper towels, which she threw away, and made her way to the end of the counter where Jo was perusing the cakes.

"It's a cold day to be out and about," the woman said. "Are you having a hot drink?"

"Yes, thank you. Tea for two, I think."

"I'll make you a nice big pot, dear." She shuffled off, collecting the things she needed.

"And a selection of cakes, please."

"Go and sit down, dear. I'll bring them to your table."

There were only three tables in the cafe. There were more outside on the small deck, but in the present weather the chairs were stacked in a corner, and the tables unused.

Jo looked outside, and saw Rocky. The girl had walked back around the front, she was holding her hat in her hands and staring into the cafe.

Jo beckoned her in, but she stood hesitantly on the wooden deck.

The waitress placed a tray with a pot of tea, milk, and sugar on the table. "Is your friend coming in?" she asked, following Jo's gaze.

"I'll get her." Jo stood and pushed through the cafe door, the cold stinging her face as she left the warmth of the room.

"Come on, I have tea and cakes." She glanced back inside to see the cakes delivered to her table.

"Is it alright?" Rocky asked.

"Is what alright?"

"I... I'm not sure. I'm not..." She looked down at her clothing and then at the cafe.

Jo took her hands, and pulled her in through the doorway. "I've got you tea and cakes."

The waitress looked up to see the oddly matched couple entering the cafe. If she thought anything of the smaller woman's appearance she didn't mention it, nor did it show on her face. "If you want anything, just shout," she said, and moved back behind the counter.

Jo pulled out a chair for Rocky, who slipped out of her jacket. "You should take your jacket off," she told Jo. "You won't feel the benefit of it when we go back out otherwise."

Jo did as she was told and draped her jacket across the back of her chair. "Shall I pour?" asked Jo, turning the cups the right way up before stirring the tea in the pot to make sure it was strong enough.

Rocky watched Jo as she poured the tea, wondering briefly what this beautiful, obviously desirable woman was doing on a cold winter's day, pouring tea in a deserted cafe in the middle of a deserted wood for a vagrant.

She chuckled to herself, shaking her head lightly.

"What?" asked Jo, her smiling face showing her enjoyment at once again seeing her friend smile.

"Nothing," said Rocky, taking the offered cup, and adding milk and sugar to it. "Tell me about your childhood."

And Jo did. Telling her about her early years, the boarding school. The scandals at University before she eventually gave up on it. How she lived off her parents, and how she found a picture in a gallery which completely turned her life around.

They were there a couple of hours. For a while the elderly waitress joined them, delighting them with her tales of strange customers and her work in the canteen of one of the police stations in the city. Never once did she make any comment about Rocky's appearance, and she laughed with the pair of them, occasionally reaching across to squeeze Rocky's hand.

Jo left a large tip for the woman when they eventually made their way back out into the cold of the afternoon. They took a leisurely walk back to the car, and it was growing dark as they reached it once again,

As Jo fastened her seat belt she saw a flake of snow hit the windscreen, then another.

"It's snowing," she said to Rocky as the blonde buckled herself in.

Rocky said nothing, and settled back in the seat. She watched the snow fall through the glow from one of the streetlights that ringed the small car park.

"Rocky..." Jo began.

"I know what you're going to say, Jo. Please don't."

"I'm scared for you." Jo's eyes were closed, her head hung low, her hands gripped the steering wheel.

"Don't be," Rocky whispered. "I'll be fine."

"Look, just tonight. I have a spare room."

"No. I'm sorry." She reached across, laying a gentle hand on Jo's forearm, rock hard as she grasped the steering wheel. "I've had a wonderful day with you, Jo. I don't want to fight with you now."

Jo shook her head, drawing in an unsteady breath. Wordlessly she reached down and started the engine. She took one more look at the blonde beside her, trying valiantly to mirror the smile she was receiving, then drove out of the car park and headed back to London.

The snow was falling heavily when she reached Whitechapel some three-and-a-half hours later. She had taken the long route back and deliberately got stuck in heavy traffic.

She parked the car, but left the engine running.

Rocky had once again fallen asleep, and Jo placed a hand on her shoulder, gently nudging her awake.

"Wow, must be the heater. I'm not used to it," said Rocky as she looked around, working out that she was back in Whitechapel.

She reached across and took Jo's left hand in her own. "I've had a great time today."

Jo looked down at their linked hands. "I really hate this." She looked up into green eyes barely visible in the street light filtering through the windscreen, which was rapidly being covered in snow.