Cold (7 page)

Trixi pulled her hand free and used both hands to pull the sweatshirt off the body she was straddling, making short work of the bra beneath that. "You need this," whispered Trixi, as she dipped her head and took as much of Jo's breast into her mouth as she could, then caught a taut nipple between her teeth. "You need me."

The blonde hooked her fingers into the waistband of Jo's jeans and drew them down across her hips, though the dark woman's boots prevented them from being removed altogether. "Tell me what you want, Jo." Trixi sat back, still straddling Jo's hips, her hands fluttering across aroused breasts, then moving downwards.

Jo's hips shot up off the sofa as Trixi's fingers arrived at their destination. "Oh yeah. This is what you want, isn't it?" She watched the woman beneath her through hooded eyes, knowing the power she held. "Tell me what you want, Jo," she said as her fingers stroked the other woman towards release.

"Fuck me," rasped the dark woman, knowing she could no more deny her body this than she could air. Then she reached up and tangled her hands in the blonde hair, pulling the woman's head down to where she needed it most.

It was later - how much later, Jo wasn't sure. She was lying face down on her bed. Beside her, Trixi amused herself by running her hand gently across Jo's back, sometimes dipping down to trace the contours of her hips and buttocks. Jo stared at the wall a few feet from her bed, her mind in another place, certainly not in the room with the blonde.

She felt a hand delve into the wetness between her legs.

"Don't," she said, never raising her head.

"Come on, Jojo," said Trixi, not ceasing her stroking.

Without turning her head to look at the woman, Jo growled, "If you don't stop that now, Trix, I'm going to break your fucking wrist."

Maybe it was the low and menacing voice, or maybe the pent up fury she felt in the body beneath her hands, but wisely Trixi removed her hand.

"Jojo?"

"Don't Jojo me, Trix." Jo turned onto her back and then swivelled and sat on the edge of the bed.

"You can't tell me you didn't enjoy it, Jo." Trixi placed her hand on Jo's shoulder, rubbing in small gentle circles on the soft, slick skin.

"I don't want to do this anymore." Jo's voice was little more than a whisper, and she shrugged away from the woman's touch.

She felt the blonde get off the bed, and heard her walk out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the lounge. After a few moments Trixi appeared in the bedroom again. Jo hadn't moved.

"Call me when you need me," Trixi said from the doorway, doing up the buttons of her blouse.

"Don't hold your breath." Jo didn't look up, her knuckles whitening as she balled the sheet beneath her in her hands.

Trixi took a slow walk towards the naked woman. She raised Jo's face, and gazed down into blue eyes turned grey in the darkness. "You've never been able to say no to me, Jo. Don't start trying to now. I'll see you around." She bent and kissed Jo, taking her bottom lip between her teeth and biting down.

Jo pulled away and raised a hand to her mouth, feeling the sting of a small cut and tasting the metallic tang of blood.

Trixi laughed, and walked out of the bedroom and out of the house.

Jo was furious. She stood and pulled the sheet with the evidence of her weakness from the bed, throwing it into a corner of the room. Then she staggered to the bathroom. Reaching into the shower stall, she turned the water on and stepped into the cleansing spray, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor of the shower.

It was only the water running cold that forced the tall woman out of the shower, and she returned to the bedroom, grabbing a large towel from a cupboard as she passed it.

She lay on the sheetless mattress, pulling the quilt up around her shivering body.

"Oh God, Rocky. What have I done?" she sobbed into the pillow.

Jo had fallen into a fitful sleep, and it was only the persistent ringing of her doorbell that awakened her. She pulled the towel around her still trembling body and made her way down the stairs to the lounge and to the speaker.

"Yeah?" Her own voice sounded broken to her ears and she cleared her throat and tried again. "Yeah?" she said again, louder this time.

"Harry," was the short reply.

Jo pushed the button to admit her friend and went back up to her bedroom to retrieve her robe.

By the time she'd found it and returned to the lounge, Harry was sitting in the chair.

"Well, aren't I the popular one this evening?" She glanced at the clock; it was a little after 9pm.

"You look like shit, Jo," said Harry, standing and closing the space between her and her friend. She raised a hand and gently touched Jo's bottom lip, tracing the small cut there. "Who did this?"

Jo shook her head. "Doesn't matter."

"If you say so," said Harry, who shrugged and returned to her seat.

Jo collapsed on the sofa, and rubbed her temples with shaking fingers.

"You want to talk about it?" asked Harry.

"No.... yes," a big sigh. "I don't know."

"Did the girl show up?"

"In the park? Yes she did." Jo leaned forward and turned up the heating on the artificial flame fire.

"So.... are you going to tell me what happened here tonight?"

Jo pushed herself back into a corner of the sofa, tucking herself into as small a ball as possible. "Nothing happened."

"Strange, I was just in the club. Trixi was there."

Jo closed her eyes.

"She gave you that split lip, didn't she?"

Jo nodded, and opened her eyes to see Harry moving towards her and sitting beside her on the sofa. "Come here," said Harry, and gathered the shaking woman into her arms as Jo crawled towards her. "She uses you," said Harry into dark silken hair.

"I use her too," whispered Jo. "I have no excuse."

"Since when did you need an excuse, Jo? You've used anyone who took your fancy." Harry felt the woman in her arms stiffen. "You know it's true."

The dark head nodded against her chest. "I know."

Harry barely heard her friend's answer. "So why is it different tonight?" Harry asked.

Jo shrugged.

"Come on, Jo. Talk to me." Harry gave her friend a little shake.

"Tonight I felt ashamed," Jo said finally.

"D'you think it has anything to do with Rocky?"

"Maybe."

"Would you like to have a relationship with Rocky?"

There was silence from the dark woman.

"Jo?" Harry tried to push the larger woman away from her so that she could see into her face. "Jo, look at me."

The blue eyes wouldn't meet her own, and once again Harry took Jo's shoulders in her hands and gave her a shake. "Jo. What is it about this girl; do you know yet?"

Jo shook her head. "I've never felt ashamed before. And tonight I felt both ashamed and dirty. I hated Trix for the power she held over me tonight. I couldn't stop her. I couldn't stop myself. I wanted what she was giving me, and, for a while, it felt good. I'm scared, Harry."

"Jesus, Jo. You've never been scared of anything."

"I'm scared I'll always be like this. I'm scared I'll always need people like Trix. People who want me just for another fuck, want a body, any body. Trix never wanted me; I could have been anyone. I was just always available. I can't..." Jo's voice broke and she buried her face in Harry's chest once more. "I'm scared, Harry," she said again, between sobs.

"Don't be scared, Jo. You'll find a way out of this. And I have a feeling you won't be alone when you do find your way."

Jo raised her head and regarded her friend with bloodshot eyes.

Harry smiled at her. "I hope Rocky realises the change she's made in you."

"Change?"

"Yeah. You've started to turn the corner, Jo. You're too good for parasites like Trix. You're my best friend, Jo. But I have to tell you, the way you've been living your life can't go on. If finding Rocky changes who you are, then I'm glad."

"I felt like I was betraying her," said Jo, obviously surprised at the revelation.

"You felt like you were betraying someone who isn't even your lover?"

"Not even a friend yet," said Jo.

"But you'd like her to be your friend."

Jo shook her head in wonderment. "I feel as if I desperately need her to like me, to accept me. And I feel I need to be a different person for her."

"I don't think you need to be anyone but yourself. I like the person you are, I just don't really like the person that needs the Trixes of this world."

"Do you think Rocky would want to know the woman who came home and found Trix here?"

"Probably not. But only you can determine whether that person is gone for good now."

"I want her to be. But what if she's still here?"

"Then you have to control her. You have to push her back down when she wants her way..." She watched her friend contemplate what she was saying. "It's up to you, Jo. Do you think you can change?"

"I have to."

It was Monday morning, and for most the beginning of another week. But for Lady Joanna Holbrook-Sutherland it was just another day.

True, weekends were more memorable, but Joanna's days all started very much the same. Rising in the late morning, if not early afternoon. Then, after showering and dressing, she'd most likely leave to meet with one of her myriad of friends for a liquid lunch.

Jo was asleep - hardly surprising as it was only a little after 8am. She and Harry had talked long into the night. Harry had coaxed out of her the events following her return to the house after her last meeting with Rocky. She had tried hard to understand Jo's inability to resist what Trixi had offered. She'd listened to her friend's tense whispered voice as she tended to the scratches across Jo's shoulders.

"She did this to you?" Harry asked as she spread an antiseptic cream across the worst of the marks.

Jo nodded, her face buried in the quilt. "She's very physical, likes it rough." Her breath hissed through her teeth as Harry examined what looked like half-crescent punctures in her shoulder.

"Sorry." Harry reached again for the tube of cream and squeezed some directly onto the wounds, rubbing it in with gentle fingers.

"No, I should be sorry." Jo's voice was barely heard, muffled against the quilt.

Harry's fingers stilled, and rested lightly on Jo's back. "I'm still your friend, Jo. Your best friend. Right?"

Jo turned her head to look up at the blonde who was kneeling on the bed beside her. "I was beginning to wonder, after the other night. I wasn't thinking about you; I didn't realise..."

"Exactly. My fault too. Jealousy is an ugly thing." She rested back on her heels, taking a towel and wiping the cream from her hands. "I was jealous. But I don't want to lose you as a friend."

"Me neither," said Jo, and she reached out, curling her hand around Harry's smaller one.

Harry crept into Jo's room and raised the blind a little, allowing some of the grey light into the room. Jo was asleep, lying on her stomach, the quilt covering her up to her shoulders. When Jo asked Harry to stay the night after their talking had gone on beyond 2am, Harry decided to stay in the guestroom. The look on Jo's face almost changed the blonde's mind. But she kept her resolve, walked up to her friend, placed a kiss on her cheek and left her on her bed.

Which was where she found her the next morning.

She reached over and gently shook the sleeping woman's shoulder, noticing the dark shadows beneath Jo's closed eyes.

"Hey there." Harry smiled as the blue eyes fluttered open.

"Harry?"

"Yeah. You expecting someone else?"

"What time is it?"

"Time I was going - I have to go home first to change. I'll be late for work if I'm not careful." She eased herself down onto the edge of the bed and watched as Jo gingerly turned onto her back, pulling the quilt around her against the cold. "I just went down and turned the heating on; you don't have it set to come on yet."

"I'm not usually conscious yet, let alone up." She squinted up at the blonde. "Thanks for last night."

"Anytime, you know that."

"Yeah I know." Again she squeezed her friend's hand. "Anyway, your Dad's your boss. You won't get into trouble."

"You wanna bet?" Harry stood and walked towards the door, but turned before leaving. "Take care?"

Jo nodded, smiling. "I will."

Jo snuggled down into the quilt, listening to the sound of her friend as she let herself out of the house. Then she heard a car door slam and the car itself pull away. Obviously Harry had called herself a taxi to take her home to change.

Jo pushed the quilt away and swung her legs out of the bed. The cold hit her warm body and she quickly picked up her robe from the floor, wrapping it around herself against the chill.

She padded downstairs to the lounge, smiling when she saw that Harry had turned on the fire in the lounge. She sat in front of it, warming her hands, and immediately her thoughts went to the blonde that had occupied her dreams the night before. Would she have a fire to warm her hands on this morning? Would she be able to go to a kitchen and make herself a hot drink?

Jo sat heavily on the sofa, watching the artificial flames. She imagined the girl here with her, sitting in the warm comfort of her home. She imagined holding her as she slept, combing soft hair with her fingers. She imagined waking her with a gentle kiss, and then watching sleepy green eyes find hers and smile in recognition.

But how could that be? Jo's thoughts returned to the previous night, to her inability to resist Trixi. She remembered the feel of the woman's hands on her body and the feel of Trixi's breasts beneath her own hands. Could she really run from the woman she had become? Would trying to ignore the needs she had only make them stronger? Harry's advice had been given without the knowledge of what it was like to have a physical need so great it could gnaw at her very being if it wasn't sated. What would happen the first time her need reared its ugly head in the presence of the small blonde who occupied her sleeping as well as waking thoughts?