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“You can’t blame yourself for this,” I countered.

“Did he...succeed?”

“No. Jeff came-” I had to stop because the tears were chocking my words.

“My own flesh and blood. His father was not a nice man. He started out that way, but eventually turned into something else. He didn’t raise those boys right in the way of women. I’m sorry, honey, and I’m not making excuses for him.”

“Of course not. I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“I just wish you didn’t have to deal with this either. I wish I was stronger or bigger...or something.”

“Honey, you’re just fragile and people take advantage of that sometimes. I’m sorry. Tell me what you need? You want to go lie down?”

“Yes...but...can I sleep with you until Merrick gets back, please?”

“Of course, sugar. Come on.”

Through the doorway to the commons room, I could see a huddled mass of people trying to busy themselves and not look at us. Danny came out of the back wash room, Celeste in tow. He had no clue and one look at me would send him into a frenzy. He looked up before I could turn. He released Celeste’s hand and ran to me franticly.

“What happened!?”

I had no idea what I looked like but it was probably a mess to make him run to me like that. I could not say the words to describe what almost happened to me so Trudy tried instead.

“Phillip. He...” Trudy started but was crying too. She couldn’t say those words either.

“He what?” he asked the question but by his tone, he knew the answer.

He could tell by our faces and I could tell by his constricted voice, he knew.

“He tried,” Trudy finally managed out.

She handed me over to him gently and then ran to her room in the back, crying loudly. I saw one of the other ladies run after her, Kay I thought.

I was getting dizzy from all the passing me off. There was enough tear soaked shirts already. Danny took me into his chest tucking me under his chin, not wanting me to see his face but, I could feel him shaking with anger.

Celeste stood off to the side, her hands covering her mouth with eyes wide. Danny looked at her.

“I’m taking her to bed,” was all he said before leading me to my room, tucked under his arm protectively.

At first I thought he would leave me there and I’d have to beg him to stay but no, he just laid down with me. I shrunk into his arm, trying not to cry but not able to stop the tears from coming in wave after wave of embarrassing, painful long sweeps.

Danny didn’t say anything except to shh me and murmur something about it being over. I couldn’t speak if I wanted to. I knew I shouldn’t be embarrassed in front of Danny, my brother, but I was. I was the oldest. I was supposed to be the strong one. I hated to let loose and he rarely had seen me do so.

So we didn’t speak. He did the best thing he could do for me. He didn’t ask me questions about what happened or try to calm me with empty ‘Sorry’s’ and ‘It’s ok’s’. He just put his arm around me and let me cry myself to sleep in the dark.

Merrick - Manhunt

It was so hard to pry her scared shaking fingers from my shirt. I knew she needed me but, I had to go. Phillip couldn’t get away with this.

I couldn’t look at those eyes so I ran like a coward. Ran away before she could speak and I wouldn’t be able to go and do what needed to be done.

I sped up the stairs, out the fall out hatch and the back door. It was dark outside already. That was not going to make things easy for Phillip.

I searched everywhere outside. I couldn’t see anything moving so I circled the store, trying not to be too fast in case someone was there and saw me. Margo was minding the store.

“Have you seen Phillip?” I asked her just as quickly as I could get the door open.

“Yes, about five minutes ago, he ran through here but, that was it. He didn’t stop or anything.”

“Which way?”

“Out back but, I think he got in Sherry’s car. I thought I saw it leave. What’s the matter, Merrick?”

I couldn’t even begin to answer her so, rudely, I left without a word letting the door slam behind me.

I ran around back and saw that, yes, Sherry’s car was gone. The van was coming my way in my peripheral.

“Get in!” Jeff yelled.

I hopped in and he sped off fish tailing. This was so dangerous, especially at night, two Keepers alone, but I had to look for him. I might need to.

Could I kill a human? Not could, would. Would I kill a human with my bare hands? I was afraid of the answer. We would find out when I found Phillip.

“I’m sorry, Merrick. I should have ran after him but Sherry was...” Jeff told me gruffly.

“I know. I saw. Thank you for staying with her.”

Her face in Jeff’s memory when he found them like that was the most scared I’ve ever seen her, even watching her all these years.

My breath catches when I remember Phillip pulling her hair, pressing himself against her and kissing her violently before Jeff grabbed him and threw him across the room.

Her eyes were round and wide, red from crying and smudges underneath them. Her cheeks were pink, not in a good way. Too pink, from scratching and rubbing.

I had to close my eyes and force out Jeff’s memory that I took from him. It physically hurt to see it.

“I told you not to look,” Jeff snapped as he looked in my mind, seeing what I was seeing.

“I know. I also knew you wouldn’t tell me the whole truth and neither would she. I needed to know. I don’t even want to think about what happened before you got there.”

“Don’t, Merrick, just don’t. She’s ok, just shaken. That’s what’s important.”

“If you hadn’t left to go get the drawn plans that were on your bed. If you hadn’t been-”

“Merrick, stop! Don’t do this to yourself. Despite her being...tiny, she’s strong. She’ll be over this in no time.”

“Thank you, Jeffrey. You’ve always been really good to her. Throwing him across the table was a nice touch. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

I could barely speak, let alone think, just stare into the darkness.

“You’re family, so now so is she. She is one of the best humans I’ve ever met. Ever. She’s got some Keeper qualities and watching him slam to the floor was only the tip of the iceberg of what I wanted to do. I’ve never thought of actually killing a human...until tonight.” He shook his head in disgust. “Let’s just look for him, ok. We’ll stay out all night if we have to.”

“Yeah. Ok,” I answered but barely heard it myself.

I could feel myself slipping into a strange numb but painful unawareness. It felt messy and awkward in my head and body. Some kind of human sadness but more.

It hurt so bad in my chest, my stomach, the opposite of what I usually feel when I think of Sherry but, this hurt. I kept quiet for a while and looked out my window for a white VW Rabbit and the dead man driving it.

We drove around all night and didn’t find a trace or sign of Sherry’s car nor Phillip. Jeff kept going, waiting for me to call it off. I eventually gave in and told him to go home. We were both exhausted and I knew Phillip was long gone.

“So now, we’ve got to worry about him turning us over, don’t we?” I asked, suddenly stiff.

“I don’t know. You think he would turn Trudy in?”

“I don’t know, I hope not. We’ve invested too much into the bunker to lose it now.”

“I know. Let’s go home. You need to check on Sherry anyway.”

As Jeff spoke her name the hurt in my chest and stomach returned like a punch in the gut.

Fear. It was brutal fear.

Fear that she wouldn’t want my comfort, fear that she would hate me for not being there when it happened to stop it, for not protecting her, fear that she would hate me for leaving her to look for Phillip, that she wouldn’t want me, fear that she wouldn’t be able to forgive me.

I knew we had been gone a long time. The wall clock in the stock room read 3:30 am . Almost five hours gone. Wow. We drove around for five hours. I knew she would be asleep and maybe that was for the best. It would give her some time.

I came down the stairs to the silent bunker, everyone was asleep. Only the sound of the humming kitchen appliances could be heard. Jeff headed straight to his room and I headed to mine. Mine and Sherry’s.

I peeked in, not sure if she was even there, thinking maybe she stayed with Trudy, but there she was, with Danny. Thank goodness she wasn’t alone. I could see her hair was still mussed, her eyes were puffy, she had apparently been crying even more and a faint bluish dark ring banded around her upper arm which was laying over Danny’s stomach.

Phillip’s fingerprint bruises.

My stomach churned. I couldn’t go in there anyway, there wasn’t room and I didn’t want to wake her, so I went to stew in anger in the living room. Phillip better hope this Keeper didn’t run across him again.

Ever.

When I woke up only a few hours later on the couch, a few people had begun to stir and make their way out of their rooms. I sat up from the uncomfortable sofa silently cursing as my neck stung with a kink.

Marissa immediately sat by me.

“She’s ok. Danny stayed with her last night,” she offered and patted my arm quickly before jerking it back just as quickly.

“I know. I saw.”

“Don’t treat her like she’s breakable. She’s stronger than you know. She wants to have a purpose, she needs it.”

“I know how strong she is but she
is
breakable, Marissa. What happened doesn’t help that, it proves it.”

“Physically, yes, but she doesn’t want to feel weak. She doesn’t want to feel like she can’t take care of herself.”

“She can’t! It’s a full time job trying to keep her out of trouble.” My voice cracked as the memories of all the time I had to rescue her flooded my mind.

All those close calls. It wasn’t her fault. It was just a fact that the girl was a magnet for trouble and there was nothing she could do about it.

“I know. Listen to me, I’ve seen it. Sherry will be fine. She won’t be harmed from this and Phillip won’t be back. He won’t tell them our location either, but...”

“But what?”

“He will become a Lighter.”

“You see that?”

“Yes. I don’t know when but, it will happen. I think revenge has been served, don’t you? Please don’t tell Trudy. She’s had a rough night. Hard to believe your own flesh could do such a thing, you know.”

“Yeah, I won’t. Thanks.” I started to get up from the couch and paused. “Say, Marissa? Why are you helping me?” I was exhausted and couldn’t wait for pauses and couth and manners like usual conversations.

“Because, she helped me. Sherry. I had a gun to her head but, she begged me to come with her. She even defended that jerk, Phillip, about why he was snooping through my van. She wouldn’t let it go, wouldn’t let me go, even when I resisted she kept telling me how much she wanted me to come, to protect me.”

“Yeah. That sounds about right. Well, thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome, and I’m sorry about before, the vision. Really sorry,” Marissa said and got up to walk into the kitchen.

As I watched her go, I could tell that she really meant it.

I decided instead of waking Sherry I’d go do some work for a while to keep busy. I knew deep down I was procrastinating but I couldn’t help myself. I should go in there right now and snatch her up, hug her to me and ask her if she was ok but I was still a coward. I could take anything in this world but Sherry’s hate or rejection.

I did some things in the laundry room. Stacked up some boxes and baskets that others had left in there.

Our washing machine was two huge utility sinks. I started the water and poured in the lavender scented soap. I needed to just keep busy until she woke up. Maybe she wouldn’t even try to find me, still too upset with me. Maybe she needed to just spend time with Danny for a while. Maybe she wouldn’t want to see me at all.

I plunged my shirts into the water over and over and picked up the wad to wring and rinse but then I heard Sherry’s voice. She was singing and I froze.

A Whole Lot of Loving Going On

I woke up to see Danny still there with me in my room. He stayed with me all night. Sweet guy. Who knew how long he’d stayed up after I fell asleep, stewing.

I tried to get up without disturbing him and I succeed. I slipped out the door quietly and shut it behind me.

I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt at fixing it and prepared myself for the onslaught of sympathy and questions and stares and worst of all- attention. Even after he was gone, Phillip still got to torture me with unwanted attention.

At least, I thought he was still gone.

I glanced down at my arms and there was a purple uneven ring and circle bruise. One a little darker and wider than the other. I wished I had a different shirt with me before I had to see anyone. Me and my dang tank tops.

I didn’t want any more sympathy.

When I reached the end of the short hall, I saw them, the mass of people waiting to ambush me. Trudy wasn’t there, which was good, though I smelled coffee so she may have been in the kitchen.

I got a lot of quick glances but that was it. Surprisingly, Marissa came up to me first.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” I was a little off put by her sudden interest.

She never spoke to me first unless there was a painful vision to follow.

“Are you ok today?”

“Yeah, fine. As good as I can be, I guess. Have you uh...seen Merrick?”

“Yeah, listen, he got home last night late. He didn’t want to disturb you. He thinks you’re upset with him, for not being there...with Phillip.”

“That’s absurd. How can he-”

“I’m just telling you what I know. He’s really worried about you but he’s angry at Phillip and himself, he’s scared that you won’t forgive him.”

“That’s ridiculous. Of course I’m not mad at
him
.”

“It’s a guy thing and Merrick is a guy now.”

I just nodded. I really needed a shower to wash away the events of the past day so I walked out past the kitchen, not looking for Trudy. I was not ready to see her heartbroken face yet.