Color Blind (17 page)

“Of course I do,” I answer. “How could I
not?”

“Why did you kiss her?” she whispers.
“You ruined everything.”

“Because I’m right for him, and you’re
not,” another voice answers before I can.

I tear my eyes away from
Camryn’s
face, and they connect with Lilly blocking our path
down the hallway.

“Stop saying that,” I spit. “It’s not
true.”

Camryn struggles to get out of my arms,
but I hold her tight to my chest, unwilling to let her go. In any sense of the
words.

Lilly spits out a harsh bark of a laugh. “Look
at her. She’s a loose cannon. She comes from nothing. She can’t even handle her
liquor. And, she’s
black.
”

Camryn tenses in my arms and opens her
mouth. I silence her with a kiss to her lips. I’m going to show her that I will
defend her. I’m starting to think this Lilly chick is crazy.

“Get the hell out of our way. I don’t
want anything to do with you. Camryn is ten—no, a hundred—times the
woman you are. What are you even talking about? She’s
 
too good for me as it is. I don’t even
know you. And
I
come from nothing.”

Lilly shakes her head emphatically. She
eyes Cam, and then makes a decision.

“You don’t come from nothing, Cooper,”
she says. “You’re practically royalty.”

“Royalty? Like I said, I don’t even know
you. What are you talking about?” I’m beyond frustrated with this girl.

She opens her mouth to speak, and then
another voice interrupts us as it booms annoyingly down the hall. That voice
gives me a tic.

“Cam!”

Luka comes barreling down the hall.
Brandon and Dara are right behind him. I almost roll my eyes, but I restrain
myself.
Camryn’s
eyelids have been closing, but now
they snap open. She tightens her grip around my neck, which surprises me. But
there is no way I’m letting her go now.

I’m certainly not handing the girl I love
over to another guy.

“What did you do to her?” Luka asks. I
expect him to shout, but his voice is laced with flat, deadly calm.

Brandon puts his hand on Luka’s arm.

“Settle down, man,” he says. “You know
Cooper wouldn’t hurt her. She drink too much?” He aims the question at me.

“Yeah,” I answer. “I found her like this,
with some asshole all over her. I want to take her home.”

“No way. You’re not going anywhere with
her,” Luka says, yelling now. “Give her to me.”

Camryn swats his hand away, her head
leaning against my chest.

“Stop it, Luka. Don’t fight. Cooper loves
me.”

She snuggles against me, and my heart
lifts to a height I didn’t even think was possible.

Dara speaks up before Luka can blow a
gasket.

“Do you need my car, Coop?” she asks. “It
doesn’t look like she can ride the bike in this condition. I can ride with Bran
and Luka.”

I nod gratefully. “Thanks, Dara.”

She tosses me her keys and eyes me
seriously. “Take care of her. Her mom’s working a double shift tonight, and
she’s never had a drop of alcohol. It’s
gonna
be
rough.”

“I will,” I answer, nodding again. I
stare at Luka, silently wiling him to save the scene for another time.

He steps out of the way. As I pass him,
he leans down and whispers angrily in my ear. Damn, the dude is a freaking
giant.

“This isn’t over,” he says.

I just keep walking, cradling Cam like
the precious cargo she is.

           
As
I exit the house heading toward Dara’s car, Lilly comes running after us.

“What about me?” she calls. “Don’t you
want to know what I was going to tell you?”

           
I
don’t even pause.

           
“No,”
I answer, and open the car door for the girl I love.

Chapter 20

Safe and Sound

Camryn
         

I open my eyes, and my stomach rolls. I
look up and see my bedroom ceiling, dingy white and cracked as it always is. My
gut shifts again, and I lurch out of bed and run to the bathroom.

I throw up everything I have in my
stomach, which isn’t much, and then I throw up some more.

As I heave into the toilet, I feel a cool
cloth brush my forehead. Is my mom here? Oh no. She’ll know I’ve been drinking.
She’ll make sure I’m okay, and then she’ll kill me.

Then Cooper speaks, and my head almost cracks
against porcelain.

“You’re going to be okay,” he says
soothingly. “This is good. You’re getting it all out. Are you done?”

I wipe my mouth with the tissues he’s holding
out toward me, and groan.

“I think so,” I answer. “What are you
doing here?”

“I drove you home last night. Don’t you
remember?”

I search the fuzzy memories of last night’s
party, and find the one where he barged into the room with me and that asshole,
and I grow warm all over.

“You love me,” I say, standing up way too
fast.

Cooper catches me in his arms before I
topple over. He sighs, relieved. “Yeah. I do. I thought you’d forget.”

“I will never ever forget the moment
those words came out of your mouth,” I announce. “Never.”

He flashes the crooked grin I love so
much and grips my arms to help me out of the bathroom. “Are you okay?”

“My mouth is dry,” I answer. I smack my
mouth, attempting to add moisture where there was none. “Did someone shove
cotton balls down my throat last night?”

He leads me to the couch, where I plop
down, and he moves into the kitchen to get me some water. He hands me a glass
full, and I sip it while I observe him.

“So, last night…” I begin.

“You don’t drink,” he says. “So why were
you wasted last night when I found you?”

I sigh. “I was just feeling so sick of it
all, Cooper. You know? Sick of hurting. Sick of thinking about trying to be
someone I’m not. Sick of always making the right decision. So when Sarah handed
me a drink and everyone assumed I wouldn’t take it…”

“You decided to prove them wrong,” he
finishes. He smiles wryly. “You keep me on my toes, Cam.”

I flop my head back on the couch and moan.
“No, I don’t. You know me better than anyone. It was a big mistake, anyway. I
feel disgusting today. And if you hadn’t walked in that room last night…” I
shudder just thinking about what could have happened.

His face darkens as he remembers. “I hope
that guy’s mouth is swollen today.”

I giggle. “It probably is. But thanks to
you, I’m safe and sound.”

My eyes widen. “Shoot. Luka is going to
be upset. Do you know where my phone is?”

He nods toward the bar. “Want me to get
it?”

“Yes, please,” I answer.

After he retrieves it, I see that I have
four texts from Luka and two from Dara. Without reading them, I text them both
back.

Camryn:
 
Doing okay today. Will call you later.

I look up at Cooper, and he’s studying
me.

“What?” I ask.

“You and Luka…I mean since we haven’t
been…you two aren’t, you know…”

I watch his face and the uncertainty and
sheer pain there make my heart melt into a puddle of plasma.

“Are you asking if Luka and I hooked up
after our fight?”

“Yeah,” he admits.

“No,” I answer, simply.

He looks relieved, and I laugh. “You
really think I could forget about you that quickly and move on?”

He rubs his chin, where a light dusting
of stubble has taken up residence. “I wasn’t sure, Cam. I thought you never
wanted to talk to me again. I thought I wasn’t going to get the chance to
explain that I wanted nothing to do with Lilly Brewer. Nothing. Since I got
here, I’ve done nothing but think of you and how to win you over. When I
finally did that, I realized that I had been waiting for you every day of my
life before. I think I knew I loved you the minute you said “yes” to me. I would
never kiss another girl. Not when time stands still when I’m sitting here with
you.

“I will never find this kind of
fulfillment anywhere else. Every breath that enters my lungs fuels me for
another step toward you. I’m always going to be looking for you, wanting you,
needing you, waiting for you. That’s not going away, Cam. Ever.”

After his speech, I’m breathless. With
every word he says, my heart expands a little more. My feelings mirror his. All
the waiting I have done, looking for happiness through my dance, through the
friendship I have with Dara, through anything really, has led me to the moment
in life when I finally met Cooper. The fact that he can feel it too literally forces
the breath out of my lungs.

I slide over on the couch until I’m
sitting in his lap.

“I love you,” I whisper in his ear.

He looks at me, shock registering on his
face. Then he kisses me, and my world rights itself again.
 
His lips linger on mine long enough to
cement the love we share, and bind us together, wrapped up inside of it.

Just like that.

***

“So you’re taking him back? Just like
that?” Luka glowers at me from across the table. The angry heat rolls off of
him and drifts across the table in my direction. I wince as I accept it.

“It’s not exactly ‘just like that,’ Luka.
He finally had a chance to explain, and it turned out that the kiss wasn’t even
his fault.”

I agreed to meet Dara, Brandon, and Luka
for lunch today. We sit in a back booth at the restaurant, and the conversation
centers, of course, on last night’s crazy events.

“So why was Lilly hanging around y’all
last night, then?” Luka demands.

“That, I’m not sure,” I admit. “She was
saying some insane things. About how Cooper was royalty or something.”

Brandon takes a swig of his Coke.
“Royalty? Like, the Prince of England or something?”

“Somehow, I don’t think she meant that
kind of royalty. She was hinting that she knew where Cooper came from or
something like that.”

Dara’s brow furrows. “Have you met his
parents?”

I shake my head. “Nope. His dad is dead,
and I guess his mom is still in Maryland until she gets some stuff straight.
She was here the weekend the band performed at the club, but I didn’t get to
meet her that night.”

I’m uncomfortable talking about Cooper’s
family situation when he isn’t here. I’m unsure how much he wants everyone to
know, but I know he wouldn’t want me spreading around all of his family drama.
Even though he isn’t the only one with crazy family stuff.

“And you don’t think that’s a red flag?”
Luka’s eyes narrow, and his dreadlocks fly around his head as he shakes it agitatedly.

“I haven’t met your dad, either,” I point
out.

Dara and Brandon exchange a glance, and
then Dara begins talking about winter break and everyone’s plans.

After lunch, I walk out into the cold winter
sunshine with my friends. Dara and Brandon are walking arm in arm, and heading
toward Brandon’s Jeep.

Luka tugs on my arm, and I turn to face
him.
 
His eyes are so sad that tears
instantly well up in mine as I reflect his evident pain.

“I have to let you go, don’t I?” he asks
softly.

“Luka—“ I begin. My throat chokes
and closes. I can’t continue.

I don’t know why I’m so conflicted where
Luka is concerned. Of course he should let me go. I’m totally, hopelessly in
love with Cooper. Nothing is going to change that; no amount of pleading from
Luka will make any sort of difference.

So why do I feel like I’m losing
something?

“Don’t cry, Cam. I don’t mean I’m not going
to be there for you if you need me, because I always will. I just mean that I
have to stop waiting around for you to come to your senses about Cooper. You
want him, not me. So I’m just saying, I’m going to accept that. Very
reluctantly.”

I sigh, and wrap my arms around his
waist. “I appreciate your friendship. I have for the past few months, and I
don’t know now what I’d do without it. I’m sorry things couldn’t be different.”

“Tell me something before we table this,”
he pleads, his eyes soft and liquid chocolate.

“Anything.”

“If you’d never met Cooper, if he hadn’t
come to town this year…”

“It would have been you, Luka,” I say,
without hesitation. Another tear rolls down my cheek, and he wipes it away with
a thumb.

His eyes melt, and he hugs me long and
hard. “See you after winter break, Cam.”

Chapter
21

Ready

Over winter break, I spend as much time
with Cooper as possible. The dance studio has the same schedule as the school
system, so my evenings are blissfully free to spend with him.

We take advantage.

When he isn’t practicing with Fire and
Glory, we’re together. He has dinner with my mom and me, and I think he really
has won her over by the end of the week.

When I first met Cooper, I thought of him
as a Fallen Angel, a bad boy. But I was wrong. He’s full of light, like a
heavenly angel. That’s how I think of him, like he has an invisible halo around
his head. When he’s sitting next to me, I can feel the goodness radiating off
of him, and I don’t even think he knows how uplifting he is for me.

The last night before break ends, we’re
sitting on my couch watching T.V. My mom is at work as usual, but she left us a
casserole for dinner.

“So when do I get to meet
your
mom?” I ask him pointedly. “You’ve
practically spent the whole week with mine.”

He rubs his chin thoughtfully. “My mom’s
a mess, but I definitely would have let you meet her by now if she was here.
She’s taking longer to get down here than we both thought it would take.”

“Are you worried about her? You know, up
there without you?”

“Not really,” he replies. “I mean, my
stepfather’s in jail, and he’s the only danger to her other than herself. I
just want her to hurry and get down here so she can start living her life.”

“What about your real dad?” I ask
tentatively, not wanting to upset him.

His eyes glaze over a bit, as if he has
gone somewhere far away in his mind.

“What about him?” he asks.

“Well…what do you know about him? Do you
remember him at all?”

“I remember him being at work a lot. I
would go to work with him and sit around, waiting for him to finish up so he
could take me to play. But it was rare that we ever made it to play, because he
was almost always working.”

 
His answer is curt, each word snapped out
of his mouth like a wet towel.

“He died when I was little, so I guess my
memories might be skewed by time. My mom never talks about him. Honestly, Cam…I
think he was a really bad guy, like maybe worse than all the idiots she’s
picked up since. It’s just a sense I get about it. But losing him…it really
messed her up forever.”

“Oh…” I answer. “I didn’t know my dad at
all, you know. I don’t even know who he is. My mom never wanted to talk about
him, and I never wanted to ask. I think he broke her heart when she got
pregnant with me. You know, typical story. Left her when she told him they were
going to be parents.”

He tightened his arm around me. “I’m
sorry, baby. I know it feels awful to grow up thinking that the man who should
be the most important male role model in your life doesn’t give a shit that you
even exist. But you know you’re worth everything, right? He’s missing out on
something amazing when it comes to you. He has no idea.”

“I feel the same way about you,” I sigh,
leaning my head against his chest. “I wish your dad could see the man you’ve
become in his absence. He would be so proud, Cooper. And I want you to be able
to talk to me about it when you feel sad.”

“Deal,” he answers. “But I don’t feel sad
right now. I feel elated.”

I smile up at him and kiss his nose. “Me
too.”

He leans down and kisses me, our lips
melding together. Slow, languid, perfect. Every kiss with Cooper is perfection.
His strong hands ran up my sides, under my shirt, and I shiver in response. I
nudge him with my chest, making him groan and move his hands to cup me over my
bra. I sigh against his lips, wanting more but knowing we need to stop.

He reads my mood in my movements and pulls
away from me slowly, standing up. “I’d better go. It’s getting late, and it’s
back to the grind tomorrow.” He slides his eyes to my face, and then glances
back toward my room. “Unless you want me to stay.”

His mouth twitches at the corners.

I giggle. “Get out of here. Now, before I
do
ask you to stay. And risk getting
caught by my mom. In my bedroom. Then we’ll have all kinds of new problems.”

Cooper and I haven’t slept together yet.
I don’t know what I’m waiting for. Proof maybe, that he and I can be together
for longer than just high school. But he’s so ridiculously hot that one of
these days I’m going to cave on impulse alone. I’m trying really hard not to
let that happen.

“Getting up early isn’t my strong suit. I
need to go to bed, so that I can be all grown up and sunshiny tomorrow for our
last semester of high school.”

“I don’t know about that,” he says,
grabbing me around the waist and pulling me up against him. He tickles my sides.
“I might never grow up.”

I laugh and pushed his dark, messy hair
out of his eyes. “You’d better. I can’t have a future with a guy who’s still a
kid.”

He studies me, suddenly serious. “Do you
think we have a future together, Cam?”

I’m unsure how to answer that. Because I
definitely do feel that way, but I don’t want to scare him away.

“Well,” I finally say. “I don’t see
myself just going off to L.A. or New York and leaving you behind. I can’t
imagine us just being over because senior year is.”

He grips my hips and lifts me up. I wrap
my legs around his slender waist and gaze down at him. The look in his eyes is full
of love and longing and tenderness.

“I love you,” he says simply. “A future
with you is more than I could ever hope or dream for. I aspire to be good
enough for you, Camryn Grimes. And someday I promise I will be.”

“You’re good enough right now, just like
you are,” I answered.

“I’m not,” he answered. The look in his
eye was determined. “But I promise I will be.”

“Well, if you must work on something,
work on the gift giving. I really,
really
like presents.”

His laughter echoes off the worn walls, and
he’s out the door before I can pull him back against me and squeeze him just a
little harder.

He leaves me wondering why he thinks he isn’t
good enough for someone like me, who lives in a tiny apartment on the wrong
side of town.

***

“Come with me,” Cooper whispers, leading
me up a seaweed-covered dune directly across the sand from his aunt’s house.

“Where are we going?”

“Wait and see,” he answers. His whole
demeanor tonight is more mysterious than usual.

He picked me up from the dance studio
after classes, so night had fallen hours ago. The brightest stars dot the inky
sky, and I pause to look up at the view created by the bay meeting the black
expanse of stars. I love it here, where ocean kisses bay and craggy dunes
sprawl endlessly and silently for miles.

“Beautiful,” Cooper says softy. His voice
barely disturbs the dark silence.

I looked over at him where he stands
tugging my hand. “It is. This is why I love living on the coast. The awesome
quiet beauty of it. Especially at night.”

“I wasn’t talking about the scenery,” he replies,
his voice low and meaningful.

It’s dark outside and my skin is just as
dark, but I blush all the same. We’ve been together for months, but the fact
that he can still send that blaze of heat rushing to my face and body astounds
me.

I let him continue to pull me over the
dune until we reach the other side. I stand there, gazing at a wide stretch of
sand guarded from public sight by the backdrop of the dune. Cooper has arranged
a huge plaid blanket on the beach and covered it with pillows and a picnic basket.
Candles outline the blanket, and their flickering glow set the air around us
afire with dancing sparks.

He’s taken time with this, to set up
something so personal and intimate and
perfect
for us. I’m moved almost beyond words, and I feel emotion clogging my throat.

I turn to Cooper and a single tear rolls
down my face.

He catches it with his finger. “You don’t
like it?” he whispers, his eyes holding mine.

I laugh because the question is absurd.

 
“I told you to work on the presents,” I
say tearfully. “And this?” I sniff. “Is a pretty damn good start.”

“This is nothing, Cam,” he says.
 
“Stick with me. I’m never going to stop
pursuing you.”

He pulls me over to the blanket and we
fold ourselves onto it. He opens the basket and out pops a bottle of wine.

I raise my eyebrows. “Wine?
Sophisticated. How did you…?”

He inserts a corkscrew into the bottle
and begins working to remove the stopper. I almost miss his response, because
I’m baffled that the boy knows how to work a corkscrew.

“Magic,” he says, a mischievous gleam in
his eye. With the bottle open, he pours the dark red liquid into a glass for me
before pouring his own.

I look him over. He’s opted out of his
leather jacket tonight, instead donning a simple white button down and dark
blue jeans. Even winter on the Southern coast of Virginia isn’t that cold, so
he’s wearing a lightweight The North Face jacket over his shirt. I admire how
handsome he is no matter how he decides to dress. It just reminds me that he
could be sitting here with pretty much anyone and he chooses to spend his time
with me.
 
I shake my head and sipped
my wine.

“It’s good,” I say, surprised. I’ve only
tasted wine once before, and I don’t really remember having a fondness for it.
Maybe it depends on the company you keep while you drank it.

“This feels like a special occasion,” I
remark. “Are we celebrating something?”

“Any time spent with you is a
celebration,” he answers. “But I do want to commemorate something tonight. Do
you realize that we’ve been together for four months today?”

I haven’t realized that, actually. “Uh,
isn’t the girl the one who is supposed to remember that stuff?”

“Typically, yes,” he answers. “But when
your girl is swamped with A.P. classes, practicing for a final dance recital,
and being captain of the school’s dance team, you tend to remember the little
things for her.” He leans over and brushed my cheek with his lips.

I smile, leaning into him. “I’m sorry
I’ve been so busy.”

He lets his lips trail from my cheek down
to my chin.

“
S’okay
,” he
murmurs against my skin. “You’re not busy right now.”

Tremors shake me.
Dammit.
He’s doing the thing where he takes away my ability to
think clearly. “No, not busy now. What are you doing?”

“Celebrating,” he answers as he draws a
line of kisses with his lips from my chin to the delicate curve of my neck.

“Cooper,” I breathe, struggling to take
breaths against the rapid beating of my heart.

He pauses. “Yes?”

I am so distracted by the fact that his
lips are no longer touching my sensitive skin that I can’t remember what I’m
about to say. So instead I whisper, “Don’t stop.”

***

Cooper

When those words leave her mouth, a
frenzy begins in my body that I know I have to control or I’ll scare her. So I
restrain myself and continue my gentle exploration of her neck.

My hand snakes up under her shirt,
caressing her flat stomach. I love her stomach; it’s one of my favorite body
parts on Cam. Her breath quickens and that gives me the fuel I needed to
whisper in her ear.

“You are so delicious, I feel like I need
to taste more of you. Your shirt is in the way, so I’m going to take it off
now, okay?”

She obediently raises her arms, and I
yank the hem of her shirt up and over her head. Her lacy black bra is the most
beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. I’ve been with girls before, but the sudden
sight of more of Cam than I’ve ever laid eyes on frays my nerves. With other
girls, things just sort of started and ended. I’ve never wanted to sample each
part of a girl’s body first, like an appetizer. Camryn makes me want things I
never wanted before. I don’t just want her, I want to savor every piece of her.

I place my hand on the small of her back
and lean into her until she’s lying back on her elbows; her liquid brown eyes are
watching me. I move my lips back to the spot where I left off, using my tongue
to draw tiny circles on the skin of her under her collarbone. I move lower, watching
the crevice in between her breasts rise and fall. Resting my chin there is the
most amazing feeling, and she tenses as I touch her.

“Are you okay?” I ask her. She nods, but
I can see the question in her eyes.

“We aren’t taking this any further than
you want to, Cam,” I declare firmly, raising my head enough to look at her full
on.

“It’s not that,” she whispers. “I just,
um…”

I search her face. What exactly is she
worried about? We haven’t discussed how far we’re willing to take this tonight
or any other night. I love her and out of that love springs a longing I’ve
never experienced.