Kirian sighed and stretched carefully, trying to avoid disturbing Callo, but Callo slept the sleep of mental and physical exhaustion and did not stir. Finally, the comforting sounds of the stable lulled her to sleep.
She awakened in the morning to a sense of chill. Rolling to one side, she realized that Callo was no longer by her side. She threw back the blanket and sat up, rubbing her eyes, to see the mousy-haired farmholder standing in the stable door, the light of a glorious summer morning streaming in behind her. The cattle were gone. A gray cat sat next to Kirian, its tail curled around its paws, staring at her.
“You must go on soon, before they begin searching here,” Arter said. “I will not endanger my farmholding for the affairs of the
righ
.”
Callo stood before her with his hair untied, wearing the same rumpled tunic as the day before, yet managed to look as noble as ever. He said, “I thank you for the food and shelter, Hon Arter. I will not forget it.”
She surveyed him. “You look a power better than you did last night, I must say. I will bring you some meat and bread, then you must go on. I will tell you how to avoid the Fortress road. My advice is to head for the southeast, and the Sword of Jashan.”
Callo drew back, almost imperceptibly, but Kirian saw it, and so did Hon Arter. “I don’t know what your choices are, but from here it appears you have few. The Sword of Jashan would welcome you and protect you.”
“Does my half-brother know you are involved with the Sword of Jashan?”
Arter shrugged. “It matters not. I won’t give you up to the King’s men—that’s all you need care about.”
“It is, indeed, the only thing that matters right now. But I have other concerns. Someone must ride to inform the legitimate heir that his life is in danger from the King.”
Chiss said, “Hon Kirian need not go with us, my lord. As a Healer, she could go anywhere—back to Seagard, even, to her original posting. I am sure she knows by now that Lord Arias would take no action against her on that earlier matter.”
In the matter of Inmay and Eyelinn, Chiss meant. Kirian thought of Inmay, dead in Las’ash city with his head on a spike, and Eyelinn in bondage to Ar’ok, and then she thought of Ha’star dead on the floor of the Tower Room in Seagard Castle far from his homeland. For just a moment the little stable seemed to spin around her head, and she felt faint. She was a Healer, trained up to cure ills and deliver babies and bind wounds. She could deal with all manner of crises, from babies ready to birth unturned to an epidemic of the swelling disease.
She closed her eyes, aware that Callo watched her. She was tired and hungry. She had no experience of mages and princes and
righ
lords. What in the name of the Unknown God was she doing here at all, let alone considering traveling far from her posting with a renegade
righ
lord with unheard-of abilities? With nothing but the clothes on her back, no less. No Healer’s bag, no clothes, no money.
No friends. No recourse, if Callo were to leave her.
“I don’t know,” she said into the silence. “I have to think.”
Callo straightened his shoulders as if he prepared to take a blow. “All right, then. You must do as you think is best for you.” He turned to Arter. “Thank you again, Hon Arter. We will be ready to leave as soon as we have eaten.”
Kirian turned away from the talk as Callo and Arter discussed practicalities. Callo was the light of her eyes; she did not want to leave him. But she must be practical. He was a
righ
lord, a ku’an, and a color mage, and his life ran in a path hers did not.
And she knew he did not love her.
She had convinced Callo that he was not to blame for her desire for him. Shamelessly, to get him into bed with her, she had told him she loved him. He had thanked her for that openness, seeming to know what it cost her. But he had never claimed he loved her in return.
She shook her head as she felt tears come to her eyes. This was unlike her, to be so weepy. She was still tired, and her belly growled with hunger, and the image of Ha’star lying dead on the floor still hung in front of her eyes. She was not used to being pursued for her life. It had killed her sense of adventure, at least for now.
Chiss went out after Arter. Callo carried bread with ham and ale from a tray that Arter must have brought, though Kirian had not seen that happen. She took it from his hands, and he sat next to her.
“Kirian, sweet,” he said, very seriously.
She braced herself for attempts to persuade her, for endearments she did not want to hear just now. She did not look up at him.
He sighed. “Kirian, you must do as you wish. This is not the way your life should be, being chased from nation to nation with not even another woman to bear you company.”
That almost pulled a smile from her, but she did not let him see it. It was so odd, what the nobles thought people needed in life.
“I don’t know yet what I will do. I cannot return to my estate or Sugetre. King Martan will kill me if I do not submit to his will. His heir is a boy who will never live to adulthood if I accept the King’s offer. I cannot let that happen, yet his guardians might turn me over to the King if I attempt to warn them.”
“Lord Arias would shelter you,” she said.
“He is much too optimistic about being forgiven by the King, I think. I cannot endanger him further by staying there, another cause for a charge of treason.”
She looked at him and saw his amber eyes troubled, a crease of worry between his brows. “You know how I feel about you,” she said.
“But you must act for your own good, not for me. You are sweet, Kirian, a brave companion and a good friend and a joyous lover – but I cannot ask you to be a fugitive in the wilds, not for me.”
Her heart brightened. He did not say love. She should not let herself hear what he did not say, should she?
“I will miss your lovely eyes every day, but you should stay in Seagard.” His hands fidgeted with the straw. He was distressed because he was being selfless. Cheered by this thought, Kirian began to wonder what she would do all day in SeagardVillage anyway. Pick and dry herbs, sit with Ruthan, climb the mountain paths for exercise, and miss Callo every minute of every candlemark of every day.
Her emotions calmed like a sea after the gale had passed. There really was no choice. She could heal anywhere she went. People everywhere needed healing.
And now that she had eaten and her nerves were steadier, she realized she really would like to see what the wilderness was like on the way to Lord Ander’s home of Northgard. And maybe a chance to see if Callo could love her after all.
Callo said, “I will let you consider it. I will go and see if that damned turncoat Chiss has abandoned us or not.” He rose, his fingers trailing along her arm so that she shivered, and left the barn.
A few minutes later, Chiss stepped in and began leading out Miri and his gelding.
“Did Lord Callo find you?” she asked.
He nodded. “I have convinced him he is better off to allow me to accompany him.”
She snorted, an unladylike sound that startled Miri, who tossed her head at Kirian. “Gods know how you did that. Chiss, you are fortunate you are still alive.”
“My lord knows I am not a traitor.”
“I think your lord remembers too well the years when he was growing up. He said you were his mentor. That is why he did not slay you—he cannot forget the past.”
“Why should he forget it?” Chiss said, turning to her for the first time. “It is true, you know. Without me to recognize what he was and find someone who could train him up in discipline, he would be dead. Either the King would have slain him for using the psychic magery or he would have destroyed himself. He owes me much.”
“I think he knows that and is paying it.”
Chiss’ narrow face, usually so self-controlled, was pale with tension. “If so, it is only what I am due. It is none of your concern why my lord sees fit to keep me with him.”
Kirian made a helpless gesture with her hands. “It is my concern, because I will be with you. It’s my life, too, Chiss.”
“I thought you were remaining here. Going back to the village.”
“No.”
There was a moment of quiet as Chiss pulled the girth strap tight around Miri. “You have not told Lord Callo this.”
“Not yet.”
“All right then. I swore an oath to King Martan, many years ago, when he first assigned me to Lord Callo. I swore another to my lord, and have kept it all these years while I have grown to love him more than my own son. Nothing would take me from Lord Callo while I can do anything to help him. But I swore that oath to the King, swore it by Som’ur himself.”
“The Ha’lasi god? You are no ku’an.”
“I swore it nonetheless. I have not been released.”
“You will never be released. How is Lord Callo to trust you, when at any moment you might betray him?”
Chiss’ face lost its taut look. He hoisted Callo’s saddlebag onto Miri’s back. “There is no point in my explaining it again.”
“By the Unknown God, you are a complicated man, Chiss.”
An unexpected smile graced Chiss’ thin face. “You say that, who knows my lord Callo? I am surprised.”
She laughed. “He is no child’s puzzle either. Perhaps you have influenced him.”
Chiss bowed to her. “I will see if Hon Arter can find us a horse, Hon Kirian. It will be a pleasure to ride with you again.”
“And me again with no baggage,” Kirian said. “It is becoming a bad habit. I must find a better cloak and at least one other tunic if I am not to disgrace Lord Callo at Northgard.”
“Of course. But you need not be concerned. We may shelter with the rebels after all, Hon Kirian. I doubt they wear the latest styles.”
Kirian did not laugh. “But I will be riding with Lord Callo, who is always so well dressed,” she said a little wistfully, and knew that Chiss understood.
“I will see what I can do,” he said. “Now finish eating, Healer, and I will see what can be done about a horse.”
When Callo burst into the barn a moment later and grabbed her hands to lift her up, she grinned at the expression on his face.
“Are you coming with us? You should not do it,” he said, but his face was alight. “Chiss thought you said . . .”
She laughed. “I did. All these close calls have ruined me for normal life. In SeagardVillage I would pine away for lack of a battle now and then, or someone trying to imprison me, or a daring rescue. With you I shall not be bored.”
He laughed. “Oh, no. Never that.” He drew her close, and she could see the golden sparks in his eyes. His hands were on her arms, firm but gentle, but she could see a flare of color magery beginning to wrap his hands, reflecting his emotion.
“Calm down, my lord color mage. Did you doubt I would come?”
“Hell yes, Kirian. Who in their right mind would join me on this fool’s journey? I am glad you do not seem to be in your right mind. Kiss me, Sweet, to seal us partners on this journey.”
“As long as you do not kiss your other partners this way,” she murmured. His lips found hers, and she thought she could feel the color magery flow from him to her, but it was only love, and desire, and a looking forward to something she had no right to look forward to.
When their lips parted, he murmured, “I can stand anything now that you’ll be with me.”
“You may have to,” she said. She pulled away a little to hide the trembling that was beginning to take her. She felt his hands slide along her arms as if he was loath to release her, and savored that feeling even while she heard the stamp of horses’ hooves and Chiss reentering the barn, making enough noise to warn them of his coming.
“We must go, my lord. We have a very long way to travel, and they may yet pursue us.”
“We have a third horse?” Callo asked, over his shoulder, still looking at her.
“Ready to go. It is one of Arter’s livestock, a farm horse only, but it will carry us as well as another.”
“I will send her two horses, if this one gets us through safe,” Callo said. He grinned a little as Kirian pulled him to the barn door. “If she will carry Kirian in comfort.”
“The mare is old and fat. Comfort will be no problem,” Arter said outside the door. “Speed will be another matter.”
“If we follow the hill trails for a ways, speed should not be necessary. Hon Arter, you know well you have my deepest gratitude,” Callo said. “If Arias should come asking, please tell him we ride to warn Lord Ander.”
“Him and no other, unless you command it,” she said. “I have no love for His Majesty Sharpeyes.”
“Which Arias must have known, to send us here. What has Sharpeyes done, to earn your enmity?”
Arter made an emphatic wide gesture with her arms. “What has he not done! Ask any of the farmholders of Righar. But you really have no time to stand here arguing politics, my lord. Go now, before it is too late.”
Callo bent and kissed the farmer’s hand. She stepped back, a little embarrassed, but she was smiling.
“Farewell, then and our thanks,” Callo said.
Kirian echoed that, smiling into Arter’s eyes. With a lightness in her heart that was wholly inappropriate for their circumstances, she climbed into the mare’s saddle. She leaned forward, stroking the mare’s thick neck. “Let us go, horse. I know you’ll carry me well.”
She followed Callo out of the barnyard, Chiss behind her.
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