Color Me Blind (A Divine Love Story Book 1) (16 page)

“Blake, you didn’t break your promise.  You have never left my side and I’m grateful.  This is just the next
phase of our lives.  I don’t feel like you abandoned me and I hope you don’t feel like I abandoned you.  I will always be here if you need me.  It doesn’t matter how much time or space comes between us.  We can always pick up where we left off.” 

He put his forehead on hers and
sighed.

“You promised me that I wouldn’t completely lose you.” 

“And I meant it.” 

“
Sometimes it feels like it.” 

“
I know it does sweetie, but even when you can’t see me, I’m there.  I always got your back.  Have a little faith.” 

He nodded then said, “On the baby’s birthday I’ll
always be there with you if you need me.  Both of them will just have to have a fit and we can figure out something to tell them, but I will not leave you to deal with it alone.  If you don’t want anybody else to know you don’t have to tell anyone and you know I’ll take it to my grave.  Whatever you need, it’s yours.”

It made her eyes sting.  She bit her lip and just nodded.  He looked at their joined hands
again and saw his gold watch that she bought him years ago for a birthday. 

“Aw
w Jaz, I gotta get out of here.” 

She nodded and stood up pulling him off the sofa.  They just stared at each other for a long moment then he hugged her.  She
reluctantly broke their embrace and wiped at her face. 

“Go.  You should go.” 

“Bye Jaz.” 

“Bye.” 

With that, he was gone.  She wondered how long it would be until their next stolen moment.

Another month had
passed since Blake and Jasmine had seen each other outside of a few times they had to chat whenever he came home to get more clothes.  Even though their conversations were brief she could tell not being in his own space was starting to wear on him.  She didn’t doubt he loved Amber and wanted to eventually marry her, but she knew him too well. 

The fact that this arrangement wasn’t on his terms had to be annoying him.  He hated to be pushed into doing something but she knew he loved Amber enough to make the sacrifice.  It disturbed her that it was getting a little easier to be without him as a constant in her life.  It was now a dull ache instead of
a heavy weight constantly bearing down on her chest.  She felt like they were losing their strong connection.

Her cell phone rang.  She sat up in bed and picked it up
from the nightstand.  It was Blake’s mom. She smiled. 

“Hey Ms. Lisa
.  How are you?” 

“Hi
sweetie. I am wonderful.  How are you?” 

“I’m pretty good.” 

“Well sweetie I’m calling because I woke up this morning and decided to have a barbecue.  I want to see you.  I miss you so much.  I know why you haven’t been to see me and I understand, but enough is enough.” 

Jasmine laughed, “Well what’s the occasion?” 

“Jasmine, you would not believe the changes that have happened since Frank got better.  I’m just so happy and I wanted to say thank you for everything that you did to make it happen.  I just wanted to have a celebration.” 

“Aw
w, that’s so sweet.” 

“I’m going to make it extremely hard for you to say no because I am gonna make your favorite cake.” 

“Oh, you’re gonna make me a caramel cake?” 

“Yes, I am.” 

“Well then I’m there.  What time?” 

Lisa laughed
.

“We’re gonna start at about
three.  Your parents will be here so bring your herd and Derrick. I need to spend some time with my future son-in-law since you and Blake refuse to honor an old woman’s wishes.” 

Jasmine laughed. 

“Well I’m sure the roommates will be there since it’s free food, but Derrick is out of town on business.  He is due back today though.” 

“Well alright
, you can bring him by some other time if he can’t make it.” 

“What do you want me to bring.” 

“A big hug and kiss for me.” 

“Ok
ay, let me go round up the gang.” 

“Bye sweetie.” 

“Bye.”

Her
Saturday with no plans was looking up.  This worked out great because her last appointment was at noon.  She was excited that she would get to see Lisa. She missed her so much.  This would also be her first time seeing Frank since the surgery.  She didn’t know how that would go.  Seeing Blake would be a little bittersweet because she knew Amber would block every interaction they might try to have.

It
made her think to call Derrick and give him a heads up. 

He
groggily answered on the second ring, “Hello.” 

“Hey
honey.” 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah I’m fine. I just wanted to let you know about my plans for today.” 

“What’s up?”

She bit her lip nervously, “Blake’s mom called and invited us to a barbecue this afternoon.  So after my last client I’m going to head over.  I don’t know what time you get in but it will probably be all day so you should come by if you’re not too tired.” 

She added the last part to let him know she had nothing to hide.  His silence lasted a little too long and it made her
fidget. 

“I doubt if I’ll be able to make it
, but enjoy yourself.” 

“Are you mad?” 

He snapped, “Would it matter?”

She snapped back,
“Derrick I think you’re being absolutely selfish.  Give me a break. These people are important to me. They are a part of my life whether you like it or not.  I have done everything you’ve asked of me where Blake is concerned.  Either you trust me or you don’t.” 

“Jasmine
, do whatever you want, I’m going back to sleep.” 

He hung up.

She wanted to throw the phone across the room but thought better of it.  She got out of bed and got a pair of sweat pants out to put under her night shirt.  She could feel the resentment settling in and she didn’t know if she could fight it.  She set out to wake everybody up and invite them.

∞∞∞

Despite how it started, Jasmine’s day had been a breeze.  When they arrived at the barbeque the guys got the drinks they’d bought out of the trunk while the girls headed toward the backyard.  They were being led by their noses to the sweet smelling smoke of the grill.  Jasmine opened the gate and saw her mom first. She hugged Jasmine. 

“Hey baby.”

“Hi ma.” 

The rest of the gang came in and everybody said their hellos
with kisses, hugs and handshakes as they began to catch up.  Blake’s penetrating blue eyes locked on hers.

He
left Amber to come over and hug her.  With a conscious restraint he didn’t kiss her nose and made sure to give her a side hug.  She and Amber gave each other an amicable wave and nod.

Jasmine walked over to Frank who was sitting down talking to her father.  She spoke and kissed her dad on the cheek.  Frank shocked her as he stood
up and gave her a huge hug. 

He said, “It’s good to see you.” 

Still in shock she smiled and said, “It’s good to see you too.” 

Justin
excused himself, “Why don’t I give you two a minute to catch up.” 

Jasmine took a seat. 

Frank asked, “How are you?” 

“I’m really good and you?” 

“I get stronger every day.” 

“That’s great Frank.” 

“I’m so grateful for what you’ve given me. I hope you know the depth of what you made possible.” 

She smiled, “I’m starting to realize the depth of what God made possible.” 

He smiled, “Blake told me about how you came to decide to donate your kidney.” 

He saw the
surprise pass through her. 

“Yeah
, me and my kid find all sorts of things to talk about these days.” 

She laughed. 

“I’ve been going to church all my life and I think I missed the point.  What you did for me forced me to take a hard look at myself.  Now when I attend church I take a different perspective with me.  I’m working on my relationship with God and any day now I will be ready to really clear my conscience.” 

She reached for his hand and smiled. 

“That is nourishment for my soul Frank.”

On the other side of the yard
Blake and Amber were sitting on the wooden swing.  He hadn’t been able to take his eyes off his father and Jasmine.  He was bursting with pride and joy.  All his life he had waited for them to find common ground. Even though they weren’t as close it still mattered to him that the two of them have a relationship. 

Amber was battling a temper.  She didn’t mean to dwell on it but she was scared she
was going to lose him.  The way his demeanor changed did not escape her the moment he saw Jasmine.  She knew he missed her.  It wasn’t that she couldn’t sympathize but there just had to be a line.  Every time Jasmine was around she was beyond irritated and she couldn’t keep herself from voicing her frustrations. 

Amber
asked, “So are you going to stare at her the entire time?” 

His temper flashed
quick and hot.  There was nothing he could do to stop it. 

“Amber
, are you kidding me?  You need to just back off okay.  Don’t you get it?  This isn’t about you.  I have waited my entire life for my dad and my best friend to even be in the same room without apocalyptic tension.  Can’t you understand what this means to me?” 

She rolled her eyes.  That pissed him off even more.

“That’s just it Blake I don’t understand because you don’t share anything with me.  Don’t
you
get it?  There are places inside your heart I can’t have because she has them.  You have no intention of giving them to me, ever.”

He went on the defensive
because he couldn’t deny she was right. 

“You can go to hell Amber
. I have done every ridiculous thing you asked to try and make you feel secure about this relationship.  I have practically moved out of my own house and you’re still not grateful.  I don’t spend any time with her and you’re still not happy.  You need to understand the reality that she will never be completely out of my life.  You can’t just erase her.” 

She let her temper match his.  Her fear wouldn’t let her feel secure. 

“Well, I guess you can only choose me when she’s not around.” 

His face got very sober as he said,
“I didn’t have to choose. Jasmine gracefully bowed out.” 

The look of shock on her face told him his words hit the spot. 
He stood and walked away from her.  He knew what he was implying, but he didn’t care. It was the truth after all.  Jasmine had removed herself from the equation giving Amber a false understanding of his choice.  Lately he could feel himself starting to resent her and her complete disregard for his feelings. 

Why should anyone have to apologize because they were
fortunate to have one person in their life that loved and accepted them for who they were with no questions and no judgments?  Giving her up was the hardest thing he ever had to do.  He was beginning to feel like he would either fail as Jasmine’s friend or Amber’s man. 

He was starting to realize
there was no way he could do both.  He was becoming quite uneasy about the one he was willing to let fail if given the choice.  He now understood that it wasn’t just Amber.  Any woman he was with he would be right back where he started. 

The
awareness hit him hard in the gut that the only way he could be happy in a relationship and keep Jasmine in his life was for Jasmine to be the woman in that relationship.  The problem with this line of thinking though was that he didn’t see Jasmine like that. He never could.  He headed up to his room to get his temper in check.

Jasmine didn’t miss the heated exchange between Blake and Amber even though she was talking to both of their parents
about their remodeling.  Blake had gone in the house.  She wanted desperately to go after him but she knew she couldn’t.  She wanted to slap the piss out of Amber.  What more could the girl possibly want? She was tired of seeing Blake always unhappy.  

Lisa hadn’t missed the exchange either. 

She turned to Jasmine, “Sweetie, why don’t you go in the house and bring me a blanket out of the hall closet.  It’s starting to get a little chilly out here.” 

Jasmine stared at her blankly
because it was
not
chilly outside. 

Lisa
said, “You should take your time and see all the changes I’ve made since the last time you were here. I’m gonna go and talk to Amber. I don’t want her to feel unwelcomed.” 

Lisa
winked at Jasmine.  Jasmine grinned and excused herself as Lisa got up to run interference.  Vanessa shook her head, but before she could speak Justin placed his hand over hers and shook his.  Frank remained neutral but his wife’s conspiratorial plans were not lost on him.

When she walked into the living room she saw him sitting on the
top step looking quite upset. 

She
asked, “Hey, did you forget your room is downstairs?” 

He looked up and smiled.  He didn’t want to be
angry or confused anymore.  He would put it all aside for another day and enjoy being with his friend. 

“Yeah I did.  What you came in here to
remind me?” 

Sh
e walked up and sat on the step below him. 

“As a matter of fact I did.” 

“Well aren’t you my saving grace.” 

“What on e
arth would you ever do without me?” 

“I don’t want to find out.”  He asked, “So I see you’ve got a new best friend in the Jessup family huh?” 

She grinned, “As a matter of fact I do and you know he’s easier on the eyes than you are.” 

“Really
, because some people would say he looks just like me.” 

“Oh I beg to differ
.  He has those distinguished gray sideburns and all that wisdom in his blue eyes that you’re not quite old enough to have yet.” 

He pulled one of her curls and laughed. 

“Jaz, it was amazing to see the two of you laughing and hugging each other.”