Color Me Blind (A Divine Love Story Book 1) (27 page)

She choked on her
surprised laughter. 

He smiled now t
oo, “Don’t laugh, I’m serious.” 

She asked
, “What about…what about everything else?  Blake this will change everything in our lives and in other people’s lives.  What if it doesn’t…” 

He put his finger over her lips and said, “Shhh.  Tell me how you feel about me.  Do you want more than this friendship with me?”

She felt the heat in her cheeks. Did she ever. 

She cleared her throat and said, “I never even thought about dating a white guy
.  It was always ingrained in me by my mother.  Treat them fairly but don’t trust them.  For me it was bring home a man that looks like your dad.  When we were little I really didn’t see your color.  You were just this boy that was my friend.  Like you said it was so pure and innocent there was no point in even acknowledging other people’s opinions.  I just knew that I felt safe with you, that you had my back.  Even though you knew the worst of me you loved me anyways.  I’ve never enjoyed being with one person the way I enjoy being with you.  I always had someone. You always had someone so it never occurred to me to look for anything more.  Then that night you got all sexy to take Amber to that thing, with your perfectly tailored tux, I dern near jumped your bones.  I was appalled like Jasmine what the hell?  Your mouth was driving me crazy.” 

He smirked. 

“I felt like I violated something sacred.  It terrified the crap out of me especially the little twinge of jealousy toward Amber.  You know me, I’m not the jealous type, but I couldn’t stand the thought of you in her arms or her bed.  I realized that I had been in love with you for a really long time.  I honestly was so blind to it because I never thought to look there for love.”

He let out a deep breath.  F
or the first time in months he began to relax. 

He laid his forehead on hers. 

“I’m just glad this isn’t just a physical attraction but something real. 

She laughed, “No
w I’m wondering how in the heck I’m going to react to pink body parts!” 

He threw his head back and laughed hysterically. 

Sober now he looked into those big brown eyes and said, “Jasmine I love you so much it alarms me because I know it can only grow.  You’re the woman that gave my father your kidney just so he would have more time to make it right with me.  That man treated you worse than any person should ever be.  No woman can take your place in my heart.  I’m sorry I couldn’t see past my own preconceptions to see it sooner, while true happiness evaded you.” 

She
responded, “You’re the man who was willing to raise my child as his own.  You’re the man who held my hand through an abortion that you didn’t want me to have.  You’re the man that held me on every birthday my child never had because I couldn’t stand the guilt.  You’re the man that loved me through it all and never judged me.  No man could ever love me the way you do.  I’m amazed I have the capacity within me to feel what I feel for you.  I’m so sorry I let the color of your skin keep you from being loved the way you deserve.” 

He kissed her again because it was quickly becoming one of his favorite things to do. 

He broke the kiss and whispered, “How much do you want to bet that those three are on the other side of the door trying to listen?” 

She laughed, “Can’t take that bet because I believe you’re right.” 

He pulled her to his side and snatched the door open.  Lucy almost tumbled in but Damon grabbed her with one arm to prevent it.  They all laughed. 

Carmen screamed, “Oh my God you guys, I’m so happy.
  We couldn’t exactly hear all the words but we figured the long pauses involved kissing.” 

They laughed.
This had been a long time coming. Lucy and Carmen hugged Jasmine.  Damon gave Blake’s fist a bump.  When the girls released Jasmine they jumped into Blake’s arms and kissed him all over his face. 

Damon kissed Jasmine
, “I’m happy for y’all baby girl.” 

“I know, thanks Damon.
”

Blake said, “Okay now that we have shared this
moment with everybody, I need y’all to find something else constructive to do because me and my lady have a lot of things to uh…discuss.”

Jasmine’s eyebrow shot up, “So I’m your lady now?” 

He kissed her hard and said, “Absolutely.” 

Carmen a
nd Lucy gushed with oohs and aahs. 

Damon said, “Come on ladies.
Let me take y’all out for a movie or something.  No chick flicks! There is too much romance in the air.” 

They laughed.

Blake said to him, “Thanks.” 

“
Anytime bro.”

Blake grabbed Jasmine’s hand and led her back into her room
.  He closed the door.  He lay across her bed and pulled her down on top of him. 

She smirked, “Now as bad as I want you, you know you’re not about to get none right.”

He laughed, “Yeah I know that.” 

“Good.” 

“I just really want to hold you.  It’s seems like forever.  It means so much more to me now to be able to put my arms around you knowing that you’re mine.” 

He rolled so that they
were now facing each other. This was all happening so fast. Jasmine felt like she was trying to catch her breath. 

She asked, “Babe
, so after our first kiss we’re in a committed relationship with each other, just like that?” 

“
What?  Don’t tell me you want to date me and get to know me to see if we’re a good fit?” 

She laughed, “No
, but this is just happening so fast. I feel like I’m dreaming or something.” 

“Okay
, well do you have a problem being committed to me or something?  Is there another guy in your life that I have to knock out?” 

She rolled her eyes, “No of course
not.  He wouldn’t last anyways. That much we know.”

He pulled her closer to him. 

“You know this could go a lot faster if you would just say yes.” 

She gave him a
puzzled look, “What are you talking about?” 

He looked her deep in her eyes, “Marry me Jaz.” 

To say she was speechless was an understatement. 

When she found her voice s
he gasped, “Oh my God.  You’re serious aren’t you?” 

Without a hint of doubt or
disinclination he said, “Yes.” 

“Blake isn’t this too fast I mean…” 

He kissed her to stop her denial then said, “Tell me Jasmine, what are we waiting for?  How much time have we wasted?  I’m so ready for this I just had to know that you felt the same way.  If you can give me
one
reason why we should wait I will oblige.” 

She
gawked at him taken aback.  She couldn’t think of any reason.  She knew no one would ever love her more.  She recognized she would never love anyone else.  She believed that she could take him for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health without hesitation. This was so big, but her heart, her mind and her spirit was screaming yes. 

She whispered, “Yes.” 

His smile was so big it made her laugh, “Really?” 

“Yes really, unless this is just a plot to get
in my panties?” 

He laughed an
d kissed her cheek, “Well of course it is.” 

She laughed.  He sat up and dug into his jeans pocket.  He pulled out a small black velvet box. 

Her eyes got big.

“Oh wow, you really were serious.” 

“Jasmine, if Ahmed made me realize anything it’s that tomorrow is not a guarantee.  I will not waste another minute of my happiness for anything or anyone.” 

He opened the box
to reveal a three-carat princess cut diamond in a platinum setting.  He slid it on her finger. 

She held her hand up to admire it and
exhaled, “Blake it’s so beautiful.  Oh my God, I can’t believe you did this.” 

She looked at him with such love on her face he
felt like the luckiest man in all of creation.  She kissed him with so much passion it took his breath away.  She broke the kiss to catch her breath and to look at her ring again.  He laughed. Proud that he’d gotten the ring right.

She said, “I’m struggling right now.” 

“With what?” 

“With
my morals. When a man gives you a flawless three-carat diamond you give him the goodies.” 

He laughed hard.

“Girl, you are cr
azy.  I’ve waited all this time. Besides, I know you’d be worth the wait.” 

Their eyes met and the love between them took on its own personality.  She reached up and ran
her hands through his hair.  She kissed his temple.  It sent a shiver through him like nothing he’d ever felt.  He leaned down and kissed her nose, her lips and the scar his father left on her jaw.  He kissed her neck.  His hands began to roam.  Jasmine’s body simply yielded.  His touch was electric. It was blowing her mind that it was Blake’s hands that had this effect on her.  She’d never felt more completely in tune with another human being. 

He brought his lips back to hers and
kissed her like his life depended on it.  She felt her control slipping.  She was surprised that she wanted it to slip.  That’s when she knew she had to stop.  Jasmine pulled away trying to catch her breath. 

“Blake wait.
We have to stop now or I won’t be able to.” 

His eyes were on hers
. They were dark and smoldering with a yearning for her.  His mind was in agreement but his body not so much.  His breathing was labored. 

H
e said in a husky voice, “Okay babe, but just give me a second okay.  Don’t touch me for the next few minutes.” 

She laughed and moved away from him, “Thanks.”

They lay beside each other in silence for several minutes.  Jasmine began to cry uncontrollably. 

Blake sat up
alarmed, “Hey what’s wrong?” 

Her heart couldn’t handle the emotional
roller coaster it was on.  Something had to give. 

She said, “I miss him so much Blake.  It’s not fair
.  He didn’t deserve it.  He was a good person.  How do we just walk around this house knowing he will never come home again?” 

His heart sank.
He knew exactly where she was coming from.  He hadn’t really grieved either. How could he when they were out of sync.  He wrapped her in his arms as his own pain slid quietly from his eyes. 

“Shhh baby, it’s okay.  I miss him too.  We just have to take it one day at a time.
” 

“Blake
, I don’t know how to do this.” 

“I thought you were the one who said even if you don’t agree with God’s plan you accept it.” 

She sniffled, “I’m not angry with God. I’m angry with the people that killed him.  I’m angry at him for going out alone.  Even though I’m willing to accept that God allowed it to happen it still hurts.  I still have to miss him every day.” 

Blake let that marinate for a little while as he continued to comfort Jasmine.
  After a while her sobs began to ease.  He continued to stroke her back. 

He said,
“I’m sorry baby I know this is hard.  It’s going to be hard on everyone but we will be okay.  The five of us will be okay.” 

She nodded and continued to hold on tight.
 

He said,
“I really don’t understand how you cannot be mad at God.  After everything we’ve seen and been through why do you keep letting him off the hook?  I mean if he’s God then this kind of stuff doesn’t’ have to happen. So why does it?” 

Jasmine knew Blake struggled with his relationship with God and she understood why.  She knew this was an opportu
nity to be a witness for Christ.  She didn’t want to mess it up.  Jasmine sat up and wiped her eyes. 

“Listen
honey, I get your frustration, I really do.  One of the main things I try to remember about my relationship with God is that He is in control.  Everyone has the freedom to make their choices.  We’re given information and then we make a choice.  Some people think they don’t really have a choice but in actuality they do. They just don’t want to deal with the consequences of the harder choice.” 

“Okay
, we have a choice. What does that have to do with God being in control?” 

She knew she needed another tactic. 

“Look at it like this.  The same God that told me to give your father my kidney is the same one that for whatever reason did not stop this from happening.  I believe some things God causes and some things he just allows to happen.” 

“Meaning?
” 

“
Look at what happened when I gave your father my kidney.  At first it seemed like all hell was going to break loose and nothing good could come out of it but look at all of us now.  You’re relationship with your father is better than ever. I actually have a relationship with your father and your parents act like they’re on their honeymoon these days.  That one thing changed all those other things.” 

“Okay so you’re saying that whenever something bad happens I should try to find what good can come out of it.” 

“Yes, that’s what I’m saying.” 

“
Whatever good I can find that came from Ahmed’s death won’t make me feel better about losing him.” 

“I agree with that
, but that’s the part where you just have to accept that God is sovereign and that there is a master plan.” 

“So what good things can we say came from
losing our friend?” 

“
Me and you.  We finally let go of all of our fears and are giving love a chance.  Losing him made us realize just how precious life truly is.  We shouldn’t waste it on stuff that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.” 

“Okay.  I’ll add
Carmen and Damon.”  

“Right, now is he playing with her or does he really like her?
  I love my Damon but, I will cause him great pain if he hurts her,” Jasmine said with no humor. 

“Oh trust me, he is definitely into Carmen.  I don’t think he would ever hurt her like
that.  She means too much to him.  Jasmine is any of this worth Ahmed’s life?” 

“No
, I don’t think we will ever see it that way.  In my mind I wish we could have it both ways, Ahmed to see us all together. But see, that’s just it. We can’t know what’s ahead in the future.  We can’t know if this hadn’t happened if any of these things would be.  We also can’t know what is in the future for these relationships or what they will bring into the world.  We don’t know what our children will be or who’s lives we will touch and how.  I heard a pastor say once you don’t marry a person you marry a destiny.  Who knows what we are destined to do as a couple.” 

“I guess
that’s one way to look at it.” 

“See that’s the a
dvantage that God has over us, He knows.  There’s always going to be little things in life that trigger great things. Just like I’m grateful for what God did through me donating my kidney I’m not going to pick and choose which of God’s plans I like and don’t like.  With Him it’s all or nothing.”

“I understand what you’re saying baby
, but I think it’s going to take me a little longer to get to acceptance.” 

She stroked his face, “I know baby.
  Let me give you one last thing to think about.  I’m not mad at God about his death because his grace and mercy is so sufficient.” 

“What do you mean by
that?” 

“
God made sure that Ahmed knew Him and accepted Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior before he left this earth.  That’s God. That’s sovereign.  So his eternity is taken care of.  That’s what really matters.” 

He stared at her for a long moment
while he let it all sink in.  As it did, something began to prick his heart.  He didn’t exactly know what it was though. 

He
confessed, “I am so grateful for whatever brought you to me like this because I don’t think I could have kept going if I couldn’t be with you.” 

She kissed him
softly and lay on his chest.

“I love you Blake, more than you will ever know.”

“I may have an idea because there are no words for the way I feel about you.”