Colorado Dawn (11 page)

He wanted to squirm. Rex had no business hitting so close to the truth. “You know nothing of the situation, and I’ll thank you to keep your nose out of it.”

Rex gave a short bark of laughter, all traces of patience and understanding gone. “You think I don’t know what you are going through? I wasn’t born blind, David. I was a college graduate with dreams of becoming a teacher and eventually a professor of history. I had prospects in the academic field, a fiancée, a future all mapped out. Then, in the space of a few weeks’ illness, I had nothing. My fiancée couldn’t face marrying a blind man and fled. My teaching job ended before it got started, and for a while, I thought even God had abandoned me. I now know He was there all the time, watching over me, guiding me, healing my hurts. Though I couldn’t see with my physical eyes, God brought new sight to my spiritual eyes. He had better things in store for me, and I would have missed them if not for the blindness.”

“Better things?” Bitterness coated David’s tongue. “How can blindness be better than sight? You lost your job, your girl, and your independence.”

Rex’s chair creaked and his voice moderated. “While I was busy making plans for my life, I never once considered if those plans were God’s will or if I would be serving Him by being a college professor. I wanted the recognition and the status of teaching at a university someday. I was so full of my own plans and desires I left God completely out of the equation. God had a better plan for me. I lost a girl who wouldn’t stick by me when I became blind. I’m just thankful I found it out before we were actually married. I’m now engaged to a wonderful, godly young woman I met at the academy. And before you say, ‘Of course, one blind person marrying another. What else can you expect?’ I’ll tell you she’s not blind. Her father, Mr. Standish, runs the school, and my Aimee loves God and loves me enough that my blindness doesn’t matter to her a bit. As for losing my independence, isn’t that what God wants most for us as His children? God doesn’t want us to be independent. He wants us to be totally dependent on Him. Without Him, even men with perfect vision are blind.”

David snorted his disbelief. “I prefer to think that God helps those who help themselves, and I can’t very well help myself now, can I?”

“You realize that little homily isn’t even in the Bible? When I met with your wife about taking this job, she said you were a Christian struggling with God over your blindness. It was one of the reasons I was willing to take this job. I thought I could help you, because I struggled, too.”

David put his elbows on the desk and slid his fingers into his hair. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“I know you don’t, but you can’t continue as you are. I know how exhausting it can be running from God. You won’t have any peace until you realize there is nowhere you can go to get away from Him. He will pursue you with His love to the ends of the earth or the depths of your despair. Give up on the bitterness and the running away, David, or it will consume you. It will ruin your relationship with God, your marriage, and your career.”

“All of that is ruined already.” His chest ached. “I have nothing left.”

“I’ll be the first to admit things won’t ever be as they once were for you, but you’re selling yourself short if you think you have nothing left to offer anyone.”

David’s heart smoldered. It was galling for a man of his education and accomplishments to be forced to begin his schooling over again like the smallest primary student. To learn his letters at his age. No matter how proficient he became at reading those exasperating bumps on the page, he would never be able to work in the mine office again. It was like a death to him, the loss of his career. He
was
an engineer. All his adult life he’d been identified by that term. He sought elusive ore, directing an army of miners to find hidden treasure. David Mackenzie was an engineer. Was…Was…Was…

Rex opened the book before him. “Shall we begin again?”

He sighed, placed his fingertips on the paper, and settled them along the top row. Before he could once again begin sounding out the words, the door opened.

She was home. He knew it was her before she even spoke. Every day this week his wife had gone shopping, leaving the house early, lunching uptown, and coming home in the late afternoon. A swirl of chilly air accompanied her entrance into the parlor, and the smell of snow vied with her perfume. He envisioned her shrugging out of her coat and tugging off her gloves.

David pushed back his chair and rose a fraction of a second after Rex’s chair scraped the floor.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen. How are the lessons going?”

“I think we’ve done enough for the day. I’ll be taking my leave.” Rex closed his book. “David, we’ll meet again tonight? I hope you’ll consider carefully what we discussed this afternoon.”

“Tonight?” Karen asked. “What’s happening tonight, David?”

“There’s a program at the school tonight, recitations and such. To raise funds, I gather. Rex could explain it better. In a weak moment I promised we’d attend.”

“You’re leaving the house? That’s wonderful. We haven’t had a night out in ages.”

The excitement in her voice made David purse his lips. When they were courting, they’d attended every production at the Martin City opera house. Several times over the past few weeks, she’d asked him if he would like to go to the symphony or to a play. Each time he had declined, a fine sweat breaking on his skin at the thought of going out in public, having to meet new people he couldn’t see. He could barely navigate his own house. How could he escort his wife to a public function? The only saving grace about tonight’s affair was that it would take place at the blind school where most of the people wouldn’t be gawking.

Karen gave her reflection a cheeky wink and scooped up her new cloak. For the first time in her month-old marriage, she and her husband would be doing something normal—going out for the evening.

Her heart tripped as lightly as her feet on the way down the stairs. She’d mulled over everything Rex had said about David’s fears and why he was having such a difficult time adjusting to his blindness, putting it together with David’s own comment about being a liability. She’d have to prove to him over time that she had no intention of leaving him and pray that as he studied and worked with Rex his confidence in his abilities would return. Until that day, she would take each hurdle as it came. As for tonight, she planned to enjoy herself.

David waited in the foyer. The sight of him in evening dress made her breath hitch. So handsome with his broad shoulders, fine features, and strong personality, no man had ever come close to him in her estimation. She bit her lip and steadied herself.

Be yourself. Act as you would if the accident had never happened
.

“Good evening, David.” Before she could talk herself out of it, she walked to his side, put her hand on his arm for balance, and rose on tiptoe to place a kiss on his cheek. “You look so handsome tonight. Would you help me with my cloak?” She handed it to him before he could refuse and turned her back.

He was still for a moment. Finally, he placed his hand on her shoulder, sending warm, golden arrows through her, and, only fumbling a little, settled the garment about her.

She tugged on her gloves and threaded her arm through his. “It’s a beautiful night, and the stars are out.” She waited for him to close the front door and escort her down the steps.

He kept one hand on the rail and hesitated with each step, but he got her to the curb without mishap.

She smiled. Much better than when they’d first arrived in Denver when he’d stood to the side and waited on her to guide him everywhere.

He handed her up into the carriage and settled in beside her. With a lurch, they were off.

“It’s been so long since we had an outing. It feels nice to dress up and go somewhere together.”

“It must be a bit boring for you, staying in every night.” He ran his fingertips along the windowsill and down the side of the carriage.

“I miss my friends in Martin City, though your mother is so good about writing to me. I’m sure once word gets out that we’ve gone to one event, there will be invitations to parties and gatherings. We’ve already received one for a Christmas dinner and dance at the Windsor in a few weeks.” The invitation sat on the mantel. She hadn’t told him about it until now, hoping for some indication that he might be adjusting to his new circumstances before asking him if they could go.

“A trip to the blind school is one thing, a party at the Windsor something else altogether. I’m not going to mingle with Denver society to be stared at and gossiped about.”

“Even if they did, wouldn’t it be just a nine days’ wonder? When they saw how you haven’t really changed, that you’re still the same handsome, intelligent man you always were, wouldn’t they find something else to talk about?”

A chuckle escaped him, and for a moment she thought he might relent. “Flattery won’t change my mind, Karen. I’m not opening myself up to their speculation. No parties.”

She blew out a breath and tried not to be disappointed. “Then I’ll have to make the most of tonight, then. I’m glad the dressmaker had my things finished so I could wear a new gown. A new dress always makes an evening special.”

“I suspect my bank account will feel the weight of today’s plunder.”

The coach lamp hanging just outside the door outlined his profile in soft, gold light. A smile played around his lips, as if he didn’t particularly mind the expense.

“Actually, my trousseau is a wedding gift from your parents. Wasn’t that nice of them?” She took his hand and placed it on her sleeve. “Feel. It’s indigo silk with beaded trim, and the cloak is black velvet.” She picked up the edge of her cloak and brushed it across the backs of his fingers.

A curious softness came over his expression, and his eyes narrowed ever so slightly, as if concentrating. “I told the dressmaker that each dress needed to be of a different fabric. Moiré taffeta, linen, wool, brocade satin…”

“Why such variety?”

She swallowed, hoping he would understand. “If each dress has a different feel, then you’ll know what I’m wearing without having to ask. I wanted each outfit to have a unique texture for you.” A laugh at herself bubbled up. “I know men don’t think about such things as what their wives wear, but it was something small I could do for you.” She tucked her hand inside his.

As if he couldn’t help it, his fingers closed around hers, nestling her hand in his like a bird.

Tears pricked her eyes as she studied his face, waiting, praying for some response.

He pressed his lips together and his throat lurched. “That was very thoughtful of you.” The low, husky quality of his voice sent shivers up her spine. “Thank you.”

The coach swung into the semicircular drive in front of the school. Karen couldn’t help but hope that perhaps they’d turned a corner in their journey together.

D
ifferent fabric for each dress? David marveled at her ingenuity, and her generosity humbled and shamed him. Would he, in her place, have been as thoughtful?

Her hand in his felt right, and he hadn’t missed her subtle demands on him to behave as a gentleman regarding opening doors and helping with wraps. And he’d surprised himself by accomplishing those tasks without mishap.

He touched his cheek where he could still feel the brush of her lips and the whisper of her breath against his skin. The delicate scent of her perfume wrapped around him.

When the coach lurched to a halt, he almost bolted out the door. Remembering his manners, he stopped and held out his hand to help her.

When she stood beside him on the sidewalk, she tucked her hand into his elbow and gave him a squeeze. “I’m so glad Rex talked you into coming tonight.”

Guilt pricked him. Karen was young and beautiful, full of life. She deserved to go to parties and plays, the opera or the symphony. He blew out a breath. Would her departure take place in stages? Would she start going to those places without him? Would he try to stop her?

“There are six stairs up to a stoop.” Karen waited for him to take the first step. “The building is brick, three stories, and every window is lit. Very welcoming.”

Piano music provided background to what sounded like a hundred different conversations. “How many people are here?” Apprehension feathered across his chest. He shrugged out of his coat when someone asked for it, then turned to help Karen with her wrap.

“Rex, good evening.” Her voice held genuine warmth.

Rex introduced his fiancée. Aimee had a pleasant contralto voice that took on a special quality when she spoke to Rex. David recognized the proud and proprietary tone of Rex’s voice.

Karen took David’s arm. “We’re in the foyer, and there are paper chains everywhere for decorations. The party is being held in a room to our left. It looks like it might be the school dining room. Chairs have been arranged in rows, and there must be about sixty adults here.”

With subtle pressure, Karen directed him through the room. “We’re following Rex and Aimee to where the headmaster and his wife are greeting guests.”