Colour Series Box Set (81 page)

Sleep takes her away quickly and she leaves me alone with my thoughts and my guilt. I fucking feel it, I feel sorry for the things I have done and I don’t want to. I did what had to be done; I cleansed the world of the black stain that my father left on it. I am not sure I will ever be able to fix what they did to Shannon, I still don’t know the truth but I know in my heart that they made her. They made a monster from an angel. Made her world a living hell, and turned her into something poisonous.

I leave her to sleep I cannot find rest. I am too wound up over the thought of going home. I am sure they think I am dead and buried with the remainder of the family. I want to start over, I want to be fucking happy and in love. I want a family, the kind of family that I had with them all before I left. I want dinner over the vineyard with Rowan, I want it all and I think I have it at last.

First two weeks on an island in the Maldives for me and Shannon to truly be alone. Nothing to stop us from losing ourselves in the insanity that is us. Then a little surprise trip into the heart of Africa to show Shannon just why it has me captivated. Then we will go to Cape Town, my home.

I open a bottle of scotch, I really should stop. I have replaced sweets with whiskey and Shannon, I know that neither one can be a good thing. As I swallow the amber sanity down, I realize that I will always be addicted to something. There will always be that thing that I cannot survive without, but it isn’t the whiskey, the sweets or even the physical release I find in the gym. It is
her
, I am addicted to what Shannon makes me feel. I am addicted to her poison, addicted to her danger and drawn deep into her darkness. I will never escape her, or replace her.

Hours later I drag myself back to her sweet body in the bed, in the hope of getting some sleep on the flight. I slide into the bed next to her naked body and pull her against me and my cock instantly reacts to the warmth of her. I want her again. She wiggles against me in her sleep making it impossible not to touch her. I need her more than I need air. I allow my hands to trace the curves of her body, the rise of her hips and the dip of her waist, the round softness of her breasts. The perfection of her lips is too much temptation and I swipe my thumb across my sleeping lover’s mouth.

Without even giving me an indication that she is awake, she bites down on my finger, hard, and rolls over to straddle me.  My defences against the madness melt and my hands find her neck and squeeze. I worship her body by making my marks on it. I steal the life from her by stopping her breath and then I give it back with my kiss. When we are done we are both in ruins, our bodies and minds will break every time we give into the passion. Then love that we allow to simmer to the surface after rebuilds us. We are not easy to love, monsters never are, but when we love we do it with the same insanity that controls us. “Shannon, I cannot stop myself with you,” I whisper to her.

“I don’t want you to stop yourself Callum. Don’t ever stop loving me.” Her words are tired and breathy. I fall asleep this time with her pulled close to me, naked and perfect.

TWO WEEKS ALONE ON AN island with a villain that would scare most women to death. Two weeks to learn how to not at kill each other. Two weeks to learn what it is to love unconditionally and without holding back. Two weeks to create the illusion of being perfect on the surface when the madness below the surface cannot be seen by others. Two weeks for him to break the last bits of me that I clung to through this terror attack on my body and mind. Two weeks to rebuild myself into the queen he needs at his side. Two weeks that feels like an eternity in my own heavenly hell. Two weeks, where there is not one funeral, not one body and the only torture, is that of the agonizing pleasure that he brings every time he touches me.

It takes two weeks for us to forget it all. The bodies, the blood and the murder it’s all left behind us. The missing months stolen from him by a friend are just a memory now. It was those months of watching him in limbo that changed me and melted my ice enough for me to allow the idea of love to even have a chance at all. I look over at him as he swims in the clear blue waters surrounding the villa, his body is not the machine it was before but he is still beautiful to look at. The faint scars of the past only making him even better to look at. The ripple of the muscles on his back as he swims up and down past me, not letting a day go past where he doesn’t push his body to get back to what it was. I think he forgets he is closer to fifty than forty; he truly is as young as he feels. I feel a little sad that we had to wait so long to find this, and that we will have it only for a few fleeting moments. Every second more precious than the last because there is an exact number.

I cannot give him all of me because I know that this is fleeting and that it won’t last forever. We are leaving this island paradise of blue waters, clear skies and peace today. We are going
home
, to Callum’s home and his happiness. I shake the guilt and sadness that is clouding over me and promise myself something while I watch him pass by me in the water again.

“You be happy now Shannon, while you can because the time is going to come again when you cannot. Until then you forget what you have done and enjoy this while it lasts.” I whisper it out loud to myself as if it will make it easier if I hear it too.

Wet, I am soaked as Callum splashes me from the waters below my little deck and he laughs as I gasp out loud. “Come swim Shannon, the sun is no good for that lily white skin of yours. Besides I want to enjoy you before we leave.” His smile is devious and playful. I know exactly what he means as I plunge into the refreshing water with him.

We make love in the cool water one last time before it all has to get real.

ON THE JET, CALLUM TELLS me we are making another stop on our honeymoon. He wants to show me the magic of Africa. I have never heard of magic, I have heard horror stories and tales of darkness.

We touch down in Nairobi; the heat is stifling as we are moved across the hot tarmac to a waiting light aircraft. The small plane with a propeller engine makes me nervous it looks as if it will fall out of the sky.

We are given giant earphones with a little mic attached and the rickety door is closed. My heart is pounding, this is a stupid idea. I do not need to see Africa.  We are forced to sit close together on the small bench seat as the engine roars to deafening life.

The bumpy takeoff has my lunch in my throat and I fight overwhelming air sickness almost right away. I try breathing through my nose, my palms are wet and I have that cold ‘I am about to puke’ sweat all over my body. I shiver with each wave of nausea.

Just when I think I am going to upchuck all over myself and Callum. I hear his voice boom through my earphones. “Look out the window Shannon.” I turn so I can look out the window that is tilted towards the ground as the plane turns. The sun casts cloud shadows over the golden coloured grasslands and the honeyed land stretches on for miles. The Massai Mara in all its wondrous glory rolls out under the small aircraft. My sickness is soon forgotten as we pass over herds of elephant, rivers and the masses of wildebeest and antelope on their migration. My breath is taken away by the splendour and magnitude of the African wild. I am so lost in the beauty surrounding me that I get a fright as the small plane bounces down on the dirt landing strip in the heart of this wilderness. I bounce right off the seat and Callum’s arm reaches out to hold me down.
To keep me safe.

There is an open game viewing vehicle waiting at the edge of the dirt, nothing else at all would indicate that this is even an airstrip at all. A tall African man dressed in khaki leans against the vehicle. I look out the small window of the plane and I can understand how this place has such a pulling force that Callum couldn’t wait to return. It truly is magnificent.

The dry, dusty heat that assaults me as we exit the claustrophobic plane is like a wall it is so thick. It is dirty and dry and I can feel the sweat as it immediately begins to form a layer on my skin.

The man, I saw through the window, comes to meet us, he is smiling and seems genuinely happy to see Callum.

“Douglas, how are you?” Callum greets him excitedly. The two men embrace something I have never seen Callum do before with anyone.

“Welcome friend we have missed you, it has been too long now.” The man has a different accent something entirely unique. Nothing like I have heard before. Callum turns so that he has his hand on the small of my back. I like the feel of his hands on me, the fierce protectiveness that come with his touch.

“This is my wife, Shannon. Shannon this is my friend Douglas. He runs the lodge here.” Calum sounds different. He seems calm and that makes no sense to me.

The man looks me up and down. I look at the floor his gaze making me uncomfortable. He smiles and laughs loudly, belly laughter from his soul. “Callum her pale Irish skin won’t last five minutes out here let’s get you two to the lodge.” He turns around to face the car and the two of them walk ahead of me a few steps. He slaps Callum on the shoulder and they whisper no doubt about me.

The drive to this mysterious lodge is bumpy and unbearably hot. I can feel the sun scorching my exposed skin. All, I can think is sunburn, makes freckles! I am not sure what I expected, but the stone, glass and thatch building, we stop at, is beautiful. It has a unique smell to it as we walk inside. There are cold cocktails and terry towel cloths waiting for us on a tray next to two comfortable couches.

“Drink, freshen up. I will take your bags up to the main house and fetch you just now.” Douglas tells us and then scurries away. ‘Just now.’ I have learned since can mean anything from a minute to a few days here. Time is something they have no regard for in Africa.

Callum has shed his usual brooding frown for a relaxed smile. The way his face softens and his hair and beard seem scruffy make him look even sexier than he always does. He has also left his suits for khaki shorts and a white cotton shirt. It is like a whole other person has appeared in front of me. I feel a different heat creeping over me, it is as hot as all hell here but I burn with heat for him. Watching him unwind has made me horny. I wipe my face with the cool terry towel and it feels like heaven on my burnt skin. After a while of just lounging in the chairs waiting, Callum gets up. I follow him through the large thatch building and out onto a shady deck that overlooks a small watering hole. There are a number of animals out there trying to escape the heat.

Callum grabs my hand and pulls me against him. “It is the most beautiful place on earth isn’t it Shannon?” He is hot and sweaty and smells all manly. It is so gross it’s sexy. “Hmm that it is,” I say as I watch an elephant drinking right in front of me. Callum kisses me right there while the animals watch, or don’t. His kiss is soft and tender, but full of promise. I want all the things that kiss promises me.

Douglas interrupts our kiss with a throat clearing cough.

“Callum tells me you didn’t bring your bride here on her honeymoon, I will slap you boy.” The man jokes with Callum. He sounds so bubbly and happy.