Colour Series Box Set (84 page)

I watch the couple as they hold each other together. She is so beautiful and he has the same sort of darkness that I see in the all the men from our world. The two of them are clouded by an underlying heartbreak that makes them seem eternally sad like a painting of a crying woman in a museum. There are ghosts here too.

Amya returns from the bathroom a long time later and sits in front of me, her face has changed. She looks determined and angry. “Shannon, I know the truth of where my brother has been and what he has done. I am hurt that he
chose
again to lie to me.” Her voice is thick with anger and contempt. “Robin and I are
choosing
to walk away this time. We will not let his darkness
or yours
, consume us.” She leans a little closer her beauty is intensified by her anger and I see Connor in her eyes. “My brother is like a cloud of destruction and I will not live in its shadow any longer.” Her words are all truth.

“I want you to know that when he returns him and I will be having a very hard talk and I will be leaving. You see I may have been sent here to die but I still have friends at home,
Princess.
” My eyes widen and I swallow at her calling me Princess. She has a malicious smile on her face. “Oh, I see  exactly who you are Shannon and I don’t care if you kill him or not. Callum is beyond redemption. I know your secrets; I know what you have done. I don’t care. I am removing myself from this toxic world and I don’t plan to look back. I know what he has done, I know how he killed them all.  I know you helped him. I fucking know.”  I cannot form words, I want to leave, but I have nowhere to go. I feel her anger and hurt and I try to stop the smile from forming on my face. It is so quickly wiped off when Art walks through the open doorway behind her with Robin at his heels. I feel betrayed, I feel deceived and I feel
grey.

“Stop thinking it Shannon, we both know you won’t kill me.” His thick accented voice comes at me from above Amya’s head. I shake my head and smile, I won’t kill him, but them all leaving will almost surely destroy Callum. He loves them. My heart sinks at what will be left of him if he loses them as well.

“I understand, I do. I am sorry that I have killed your brother Amya. My excuses seem feeble now, but he hurt me first.” I stand and walk towards the door. I want to leave I don’t care where I go. Callum and I are not welcome here no matter how they made it seem we are a toxic wave they don’t want washing through the lives they have managed to put back together. “You don’t get to leave Shannon, he said stay. I wouldn’t push him right now. And I am not a fool. I know how my brother treats women, in fact, you look like you have survived better than some. But cancer is such a cowardly choice don’t you think? You could have saved him the suffering.”

I snap, she has pushed on the nerve that was already exposed. “Suffering will be watching the only person, I love, die slowly and knowing in my fucking heart that I did it. I caused his pain and I cannot take it back. Fuck you Amya, I love him and you know what - he loves you.” I glare at Art. “All of you. He may seem to be broken but his heart still beats and it beats for all of you. Amya do you know why he did what he did? DO YOU KNOW?”

She is afraid of me now that my rage shows on the surface and the yelling set me free. “They broke him, your brothers they fucking broke him and you know what Amya, they raped and violated me too. They made me into a killer. They made us all.” I point at them. “Go, but know that you will hurt him and he doesn’t forget. He might just forgive you because he loves you, but he will never forget your betrayal. All of you.” My eyes bore into Art’s he has to know what he has done. “I will stay, but fucking leave me alone. I am already paying for my sins and it hurts enough.” I retreat to the guest room where my things are waiting. I wait for Callum, I feel a connection to him that they will never understand and I can already feel his pain over them walking away.

Sleep doesn’t come to me. Instead, the guilt of killing him keeps me tossing and turning. I miss his body next to me, I miss him and I want him back. But just like I felt it before I know not all of him will return from this.

SIX LONG NIGHTS WITHOUT him next to me, my body craves his touch and my heart aches at what might have gone wrong. The last time he was missing he spent nearly two years in a coma while I killed him slowly. I cannot bear the thought of him not returning at all this time. My heart aches for him, for what he is going to do.
You cannot afford to lose any time with him. You have so little as it is.

The Cape wind howls outside my bedroom window the whistling noises sound like tortured souls screaming for their lives. The sound keeps me from sleeping. I toss and turn and pace my room until the early hours of the morning when a voice pierces through the walls of my solace. Its Callum’s voice, he is back. He is alive. I stop myself from charging out there afraid of what might be waiting. The images of his beaten body flash through my mind and I am back in the ghost house with him. I collapse into a small heap on the cold tiled floor and I cry at the memories of the last time he came home from killing someone. I know he went to kill that man, I saw it in his eyes and I knew.
A killer knows when they look in the eyes of another.
He went out to commit murder. Vicious, malicious and torturous I have no doubt he made his victim suffer.

I see his wasting body in the hospital bed and his shaved head with staples in it.
Me, images of me killing him every single day. I am a monster I am beyond redemption I am toxic and I deserve to die not him.
He loved me even after I admitted to him that I wanted to kill him. He loved me when I murdered in front of him. He loves me still now. Love hurts, it rips your soul to shreds and crushes everything you thought you believed. I hate loving him.

I hear Amya yelling at him, her voice is high pitched and I cannot make out the words, but her anger can be felt even in here. I try to block everything out.
“You poisonous little bitch, come here and make this mess worth my while.” I am tormented by Neil’s voice in my head again. I cannot get rid of these fucking memories that I had buried deeper than any grave. They keep clawing back out and into my head.

His strong arms lift me off the floor where I have crumpled into a pathetic lump of flesh and bones and feelings. He holds me to his muscular chest and I feel the instant relief of being close to him but also the undercurrent of danger. I stiffen at the realization of what I know will come next.
The wrong Callum has come home, this Callum is not in love with me.
I am afraid.

“I am going to hurt you Shannon,
I can’t not
. I am sorry I have to it is too close, too raw. I tried to silence it, but it seems that only you can. I am sorry. I don’t want to.” He whispers to me and I know. I know I will wake up beaten and bloodied and hurt. I feel his internal battle in every single word. He cannot control this part of him, he tries but there are some things we cannot change about ourselves. I have come to enjoy the pain, to a point, but I can tell that tonight he will go way past that point. I forgive him before he even starts; I know he is hurting over the loss of someone special to him. I know he is still in a rage after killing her murderer and Amya has just told him they are leaving. I know their bags were already packed.

Callum’s hands are already ripping the little clothing I wore to bed off my body. The sound of fabric tearing, as he pulls at it, filters through the thoughts screaming inside my head and the need burning in me. Not the need to kill but the need to let Callum take what he needs from me. He stuffs a torn piece of fabric into my mouth to muffle the noise he knows I will make. I feel his breath on my neck as he bites his way slowly down to my shoulder. Then he slowly licks his way back up the sting where he broke my flesh with his teeth makes me rub my thighs together. His hands begin their assault on my body as he pinches and pulls my nipples making them painfully hard. His fingers press into the soft flesh of my breasts as he bites again, and I moan loudly into the gag in my mouth arching my back forcing more of me into his mouth. The wicked grin on his face lets me know he is merely warming up. I try to steady my heartbeat and breathing so I do not pass out too soon, I want to feel him. I want to enjoy the way he fills me, the way he hurts me, the way he draws the desire from me with his torture. I cannot even begin to deny the fact that I enjoy being beaten by him.

Tonight something feels off. Callum is different, he is
angry –
with me.

“You are enjoying it too much Shannon. Turn over so I cannot see your face.” His tone is commanding and hard. I roll over onto my stomach the bed cover is rough on my sensitive nipples and I relish the rub against my skin. I know what comes next, I hear him pull his belt loose. The sound as the whips it out of the loops in his pants whistles in my ears before he pulls my hair so that I am arched up on my knees. The bite of the first stinging lash of his belt across my ass makes my eyes water and my pussy clench. One… I count in my head he never stops before twenty, sometimes more. The warm leather bites into me over and over, I can feel my arousal dripping down my inner thighs. I know that this is wrong that I should not get this feeling from being hurt, but my mind is beyond repair and his relentless lashes only make me want him more. I hear him growl as he slides his hand over my now very raw skin, all, I can manage, is a whimper but no sound gets past the fabric in my mouth. The tears stream down my cheeks from the pain. He leans his body down over my back so that his skin soothes the pain just a little before he bites me. I let more tears escape as I shake from pain and desire the way my body betrays me at every turn makes me cry harder.

I don’t want to want this.

But I do.

I balance on a knife edge I know if he touches me my orgasm will rip lose and give me the relief I need. I know he won’t though; he likes to torture me keeping me here as long as he can. I feel him move away and I want him back the second he is gone. He is strangely silent in his assault tonight. My scalp stings where he held onto my long hair. I lean on my hands my elbows locked so I don’t collapse. It’s worse when I am not awake he doesn’t stop if I slip into the darkness. He lifts my chin to look up at him where he kneels in front of me I see the danger in his green eyes as he rips the fabric out of my mouth and replaces it with his cock in one swift move. I do not get to take a breath; this is not about me. This is for him as he forces himself down my throat I fight the need to gag with every bit of willpower I have. His hand in my hair keeps me in place as he fucks my mouth without stopping or slowing down. I cannot see his eyes anymore the tears have blurred my vision and if he doesn’t let me breathe soon I will pass out.
Fight it Shannon.
His lean body tenses and I know he is close to coming. However, he will not, not yet. I do not hurt nearly enough for it to be over yet. He pulls out of my mouth and lifts me so he can kiss me. Not tender but hard and forceful he claims my mouth and pulls me into his chest. I wait for the pain.
It will come.
His palm strikes my sensitive backside as he bites my tongue and I taste the copper tang of blood fill my mouth. He gets harder still between us, I feel his cock twitch against my body. My pain gives him the pleasure he so desperately seeks in life. I never dreamed it would bring me the same joy and I feel my need burning stronger and stronger.
I shouldn’t want him so much he is hurting me.
I feel his hand grab on my ass cheek and the other snake around between them.
The pain has just begun.
He forces a finger into my butt, he won’t touch my pussy until he is ready to let this end. His dry finger stings as it rips past the barrier of muscles. I dig my nails into his shoulders earning me a swift slap from his other hand right across my thigh. “Callum please,” I beg him, knowing he hates it if I speak while he is like this. He just continues to fuck my ass with his finger, forcing another one inside. The pain makes me see the blood filling up my eyeballs and I know I will pass out soon. He rips his fingers out fast and barks at me. “Don’t you dare Shannon.” He slaps my cheek.” I need you to feel this. I need you to just fucking take it from me.” My heart hurts and I nod with tears flowing and try to fight the unconsciousness that claws at my mind. He turns me so that my back is against his chest, I feel the brush of his chest hairs against the lash marks on my back and I hiss out a breath at the sting.
Stay awake Shannon, or it will be even worse. He needs this; you need to give him this. You stole his fucking life you will give him anything he wants to take.
I steal my mind against what I know will come next. Callum holds me tight against his chest squeezing the air from my lungs, and I feel his cock at the entrance that he just assaulted with his fingers. I hold the little breath in my lungs as he forces into me in one agonizing thrust. A roar escapes from his mouth, and I shriek loudly. My body convulses and shakes against the excruciating invasion. Once I still, he starts to move, every stroke a brutal onslaught of pain that threatens to send me into the darkness. My orgasm becomes dangerously close, and I know it will hurt as much as satisfy. Callum’s grunts behind me become more frenzied, and he bites my neck and pinches my nipple hard sending me over the cliff into the torment of my painful release. He talks into my ear as he holds me still making me feel it shudder through me. “Take it from me Shannon, your body loves the hurt. It responds so beautifully to me. God you feel like heaven against me.”
It is not over Shannon; he did not come.
My heart is heavy and I know that he loves me, and I love him,
but this cannot be what love is.
It hurts too much and enjoying it so much hurts even more. He lets me sag down and collapse on the bed before he moves me to where he can slide himself between my legs. His mouth on my aching pussy is torture, sweet fucking beautiful torture. I writhe and buck under his mouth as he brings me to the edge again and again. My whole body aches from the tension in my muscles. When I look down into his eyes as he slows down, I know I am safe again. They have softened, and he moves above me slowly, slightly softer than before and I feel the tip of his cock against my pussy. I suck in a short breath as he leans down to kiss me. It is Callum and not his demons now, just for a second. He pushes into me slowly making me want to scream from sweet pleasure. His strokes are hard but slow, turning me into a quivering mess under him, his hands explore my body as his weight crushes me into the bed. I am so close, but it feels so far. I buck to meet his thrusts. My body is so tender and sore that even this slowly every single stroke hurts me, the ripples of pain drawing my orgasm closer and closer. “I am sorry Shannon.” He hisses into my ear sending me over the edge and legs shake and my body tenses with the orgasm that screams through my body leaving me with nothing but the hurt when it is over. I let myself slip away into the darkness of my mind, and Callum pulls me into him so we can sleep.