Come Clean (1989) (32 page)

Then he closed the door and turned and took her in his arms and kissed her, but it was still as if his mind were somewhere else, and his body against hers felt unyielding and ready to move away
fast at any moment.

‘Nobody came after me, Ian,’ she said. ‘I took care when I parked and I made sure in the street.’ Although none of it was true, she felt a sort of duty to ease his
worries, and, besides, she wanted his attention.

‘These people, some of them, they’re so good at it, Sarah.’

‘At what?’

‘At staying unseen.’

‘Darling, I looked. Nobody’s invisible.’

‘Close.’

They went into his sitting room, and he must have sensed her recoil momentarily at the bareness of it, the lack of comfort. There were a couple of straight wooden chairs, a small table, a
cheap-jack sideboard, one armchair, a small television set, a spotty wall-mirror, no pictures.

‘Makes my other place look luxurious, doesn’t it? The hamster wouldn’t put up with this, I bet. But it’s a transit camp, that’s all, love,’ he said.
‘And a hidey-hole. So far, it’s done the job.’

‘It’s fine,’ she replied. And, for a longish second, she had a view of herself occupying this sort of grim dump with him for ever, perhaps always ready to run and find
somewhere else because of new threats and fears. It knocked her a bit. So, was she really so sold on comfort and the big house – wedded to them? She felt ashamed and told herself she had been
pushed off balance by seeing Ian in this state, and that some of his fears about the future must have reached her.

He went to the window now and, standing at the side, gazed down at the street for a few minutes. Then, coming back into the centre of the room so as not to be seen from below, he went to the
other side and looked along the street in the opposite direction. Sarah sat on a straight chair and waited.

‘I think it’s all right,’ he said.

‘Ian, I know it is.’

He turned back into the room and now he did smile, so that, for a few minutes, he looked as he did in those early Monty days, full of life and devilment and warmth.

‘I like your outfit,’ he said. ‘Class.’

‘What else, coming to see you?’ It was a rust-coloured gabardine suit she had bought for some police social occasion, a loose-fitting, male-style jacket and wide-legged trousers.
Desmond liked it, too, so she reckoned her taste must be holding its own. Herself, she had been undecided about the suit. Yes, it did look classy and expensive. And that meant you had time to shop
and enough money, which probably showed you must be getting on a bit. Mutton dressed as mutton. Surrender.

‘I haven’t been here long,’ he said. ‘I have to keep changing addresses. For the moment.’

Her vision of a scared, gypsy life rushed back.

‘Why I wasn’t in touch sooner, Sarah. I stayed well away for a while.’

‘I understand,’ she said. ‘All I want is for you to be safe. Well, almost all.’

‘I had to come back. You. And there was a job I had to do. Have to do. It’s not finished yet, but promising. Sarah, this could be the biggy I’ve been waiting for.’

Now, he not only looked as he used to, he sounded like it, as well. Often she had seen and heard him display this sort of optimism over some vague, confidential project that was supposed to
change everything and set him up for ever. It hadn’t happened, of course, not yet, but the hope kept coming back, and she had loved that in him. All right, so he was a bit like bloody
Micawber, but probably much sexier.

‘There’s a bedroom?’ she asked.

‘Decor and furniture by the same gifted consultants. Are we in a hurry?’

‘I’m at bridge. Coffee afterwards. No, no hurry. Just I’ve been missing you.’ But there was more to it. She feared that his sudden cheerfulness and confidence could be
fragile, liable to break up, and she wanted to make love while he felt good, and while she felt good, because he did. These rooms, this district, the threats he lived with, the fear of someone, or
more than one, in the street or on the stairs or into his place again, could throw a chill over both of them at any time. If there was one thing she did not want with him it was fucking that was
gloomy. Keep that for home. She was here looking for joy, never mind the crumminess and the perils, or imagined perils, and the dicey future. She wanted her clothes off and his clothes off and for
the two of them to be warm and touching and happy and relaxed, but not too relaxed, in a bed, preferably a big bed and preferably a clean bed with nice sheets, but fussiness could be taken too far:
this relationship was not after a hygiene award.

‘Just let me tell you this,’ Ian said, getting into the armchair.

He seemed so full of himself that perhaps it would help to wait and listen.

‘Remember I said there could be something in all this for me – I mean, the thing at the Monty, and the scene that was obviously building up, though we couldn’t see what it was
then?’

‘You know now?’

He grinned. ‘Like I said, there could be big stuff here, if it’s played properly.’ For a second, the cocky grin slipped. ‘And as long as I’m careful. As long as
we’re
careful, Sarah.’ He stood up and went to the window again, but at least this time only looked from one side down to the street, and not for very long. The full terror and
the obsessiveness seemed to have subsided and, when he came back to the chair, his good spirits had revived. ‘I’m going to be in touch with someone who could do me a lot of good, a lot,
Sarah. This is a guy really powerful around here. Look, I know I say these things, been saying them for ages, and you could be tired of listening, but this time it’s true. This is somebody
running an important operation, one of the two biggest operations, locally. That’s the whole point. There’s just the two of them now and one or other has to go under. Bound to be.
That’s business.’

‘What operation?’

‘The thing we saw in the Monty is connected with this battle between them, no question. I couldn’t understand how, but I’ve got it sorted out now. A few things more to fit in,
maybe, but minor. This is valuable information, love. It’s what I said from the start – someone would pay for this kind of material, and I know who it is. I don’t mean just a fee,
but if somebody like that sees I can come up with the goods, and these really are the goods, he’s going to want to use me for other things in the future. This would be, well, a kind of
consultancy, you follow? Something like that, I’ve always fancied. You’re you’re own man, but steady work. I don’t mean anything crooked. I’ve never been into that,
and I’m not starting it now. All right, this person has some crooked aspects to his business, I can’t deny that, but I keep very clear, and I’ll go on keeping clear.’

In a way, what he said appalled her, and especially what he avoided saying, but things she could guess at through the gaps and the delicate words he used for frightening realities. Now, she
understood better his anxieties and nerviness. To her it sounded as if he was moving into hideously dangerous areas. Yet it obviously excited him, made him feel he was winning at last; the big
break. It might involve him in large chunks of self-deception, but who the hell was she to be sniffy about that? ‘Which person?’ she asked. ‘Who are you going to see?’

‘Sarah, for your own sake it’s better you don’t know.’ He was intoning, rather, going for gravity. ‘Keep out of it, love.’

‘I can’t keep out of it, can I? If you’re in it, so am I. We were both at the Monty.’

‘But leave it to me now,’ he said.

She saw that what he meant was, Rely on me, I can handle it. And possibly he could.

‘I’ll just say it’s someone at the head of a rich, family business – himself, two sons, a good, close team – and they’re going to come out of all this right
on top, and it will be because of help from me, Sarah. That’s bound to see Ian Aston all right, I mean, long-term all right, isn’t it?’

‘Sounds great, yes,’ she replied. She assumed he meant Leo Tacette, whom Desmond had described to her at the restaurant, but she let Ian keep up the secrecy, since he wanted it so
badly.

‘You don’t sound really convinced, love,’ he said.

‘Yes, really. It’s just that I don’t understand it all, yet.’

‘No. How could you? Look, things have been happening.’

He still spoke like somebody full of important information, generously ready to share one or two items with her. Thank you very much.

‘I’m not the only one who’s lying low. A lot of people are very scared. It’s made things difficult. I told you, I wanted to see the girlfriend of Paynter, that lad in the
Monty, the one they pulled out of the dock. You saw the television? This girl, Amanda, went to ground and she took one hell of a lot of finding.’

‘You did it?’

He grinned again. ‘Sarah, I had to do this while people were searching for me at the same time. Well, Ralphy. Oh, incidentally, I heard they thought he warned me and got a beating for it.
Then someone like you found him.’

‘I wanted a lead to you, that’s all.’

‘It’s all right. I understand, love. But Ralph gave me no tips. He was really looking. He meant it. Well, he knows Loxton doesn’t mess about. It came very close.’ Ian
leaned over and touched her hand. This was the first real contact tonight, and it amazed her, disheartened her, that they could sit like this after so long apart, separate, their hunger
contained.

He stood up again and this time went to check the lock and chain on the front door. She found that his restlessness, and what he said, had begun to make her as edgy as he was himself. Suddenly,
she felt very exposed in these rooms, despite the iron-work on the door. Ian moved to the window once more and spoke while he stood there. ‘She wasn’t a bit happy that I located her.
Well, you can understand. I turn up there out of the blue and she doesn’t know who I am, nor why I want to find her. All she knows is that the people who did Justin might want to ask her a
few things, and not in a friendly way. It was a job to convince her I wasn’t part of their outfit; quite a bit of sweet-talking.’

‘One of your fortes. One of many.’

He laughed and came away from the window, to stand near her chair. ‘She said she’s been to see that cop who works with your husband, the heavy, Mr Clean.’

‘Harpur?’

‘She told him what she told me, but I doubt if he can make anything out of it.’

‘He’s bright.’

‘I believe you, but the thing is, all she could say was that Justin had been very worried about what might happen to some woman in a project due any time now. Yes, possible injuries, or
worse, to a woman. This had upset him, and he had wanted to tell some contact and get advice or help, but probably never made it.’

‘A woman?’ For a few seconds then her fears soared, and she found she was cursing herself for ever straying into the harsh regions where he and Ralph and this girl, Amanda, lived.
Couldn’t she have settled down to being comfortable and fairly safe and well looked after with Desmond, whatever the deficiencies there might be? ‘You mean worried about me?’ she
asked. ‘I’m the woman?’

He laughed aloud. ‘Egomaniac,’ he said. ‘How could it be you? This was before you and I had any involvement.’

‘Of course.’ She felt reassured, and ashamed that panic had hit her so hard. God, she patronized him and grew bored by his fears, and yet she could collapse like that. ‘Who
then?’

‘Sarah, when he was on the ground in the Monty, Paynter muttered something to you as if he was delirious. You remember?’

‘About a silver day. He was going to explain, but passed out.’

‘That’s right. We didn’t understand. Listen, then; the businessman I’m going to see has a silver wedding celebration coming up – a big affair, no secret, with
everyone there, all the top people in the outfit.’ He stared at her, grinning again, like a prizewinner. ‘Sarah, it’s a silver day.’

‘And his wife will be there,’ she whispered.

‘Naturally.’

‘The woman.’ Yes, Daphne Tacette, that rough but delightful character at Chaff.

‘They’re going to be sitting ducks. The supremacy war could be settled for keeps in a couple of seconds of gun fire.’

‘You’re talking about assassinations?’

‘How it looks.’

‘Oh, Christ, Ian, a gang massacre? This is crazy. That sort of thing doesn’t happen here.’

But she could not shift him. ‘It didn’t, because there wasn’t enough money around to make it worth while. But it has happened in London, and God knows how often in the States.
There’ve been some changes here. This patch is big league now. We have people about who are mad enough and hard enough and greedy enough and frightened enough of the opposition. They could
get away with it, or they can convince themselves they would, which is what matters.’ He glowed with certainty. ‘But you’re right, in one way – it hasn’t happened and
it’s not going to happen. Why? Because Ian Aston can let the targets know what’s planned. That’s what I mean about having something of real class to sell.’ His delight in
himself made his voice sing, and he still beamed with pride. ‘I’m going to be saving this businessman’s wife, himself and his sons. He can’t be mean with the gratitude, can
he? What I’ve managed to do is transform a very nasty situation into a brilliant one for me, for us.’

He bent down and kissed her on her forehead, then on her mouth, and this time she felt that he was truly close to her, not hag-ridden by worries any more but alight with confidence.

He had forced her to believe him. ‘Should you tell the police?’ she asked. ‘This could be lives, several lives.’

‘Perhaps they know. She’s told Harpur. He might have worked it out. You say he’s bright and they get all sorts of information. But who can tell how they’d play it? You
see, Sarah, possibly they’d like it if one of these teams was blasted into nowhere. It might be easier for them to deal with a monopoly.’

She was dazed, unable to keep up with him. ‘You believe that? You honestly believe that?’

‘I don’t know, Sarah. It’s hard for you to see things the way the rest of us do, your husband being a cop. But there are all sorts of arrangements, you know. Deals.
Understandings. Business is very complicated, very inter-meshed. Nobody can be sure what’s going on, these days. Where there’s big money there are big, secret contracts. But, what I do
know is I’ve got some high-calibre information and I want to sell it. I’d like as few people as possible in on that. I need to be the one bringing the news to him. You see my point?
This is my big opportunity, love. I have to play very cagey.’ He kissed her again. ‘Now, may I show you the boudoir?’