Come Undone (33 page)

He
wet his lips and paced toward me, forcing me back into the wall like a scared
kitten. He slipped the jacket off, brushing his hands against my arms, so it
fell in a heap onto the floor. His immense body trapped mine against the wall
when he placed his hands on both sides of my head. I’d been pinned to the wall
not long before, and I’d been terrified. This time was different. This time,
there was nowhere else I wanted to be. Regardless, I ignored my body’s impulse
to submit. “I can’t do this, I can’t do this,” I repeated softly, shifting from
foot to foot and glancing at the door. I willed myself to move.

      
Carefully,
he reached down, encircled my wrists with each of his hands, pulled me forward
and, with an unrelenting grip, quickly folded them behind my back, pinning me
against the wall, stilling my body with his. “I have to leave,” I said.

      
“So leave.”
I began to resist, thrashing against his hard body. I realized that this time,
instead of walking away, he intended to fight against me, to fight for me. My
arousal amplified rapidly from being bound by his hands, helpless in his grip.

      
My chin
quivered, and I shook my head, lightly at first and then harder. His head was
pulled back so his mouth hovered above mine, and I turned away from him, trying
to focus on the door across the room. “Olivia,” he whispered thickly into my
ear, the hairs of his cheek tickling mine. Nothing rivaled hearing my name on
his lips. I yearned for the burn of his face on mine. I wanted this, I couldn’t
deny, but I also knew that it was irreversible.

      
I
stubbornly kept my head turned toward the door, knowing that one look into his
eyes would be my undoing. Shifting my wrists firmly into the grasp of his left
hand, he reached up with the other and slowly dug his fingers into my hair. My
breathing grew shallow as he slid each bobby pin from its designated place and
dropped it, chiming as it hit the floor. My hair fell plentifully around, me
and he tucked a handful behind my ear, exposing my neck. His hands were callous
as he gripped my chin, turning me to him. With the gentleness of a saint, he
kissed my wound and drew back to look at me.

      
I gasped as
he pushed his pelvis against me insistently. He leaned in, our mouths all hot
air and desire while he tempted me, but was careful not to let our lips touch.
I squirmed in response but he waited, patiently asking me to make my final
decision.

      
I twisted
my hands and he released them, standing back slightly so that we were no longer
touching. I lifted my palm and flattened it tenderly against his heart, feeling
the buttons through his sweater.

      
I closed my
eyes for a short moment. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. A look of agony crossed his
face before I balled the fabric in my fist and pulled him to me, slowly raising
my mouth to his. For one precise second that we contacted, we sighed into each
other, and then he was wrenching me from the wall. His hands reached beneath my
thighs and lifted me effortlessly so my legs wrapped around his waist.

      
He kissed
me hard as we moved, and I furiously undid his tie before being thrown on the
bed. Our mouths reconnected as I landed into fluffy down, and my shoe hit the
floor with a loud thud. We ground into each other with fiery need until he sat
back to pull off his shirt. I took in, for the first time, the perfectly formed
muscles that pushed and pulled with every movement. He was lean and muscular,
hard but graceful.

      
Those
muscled arms imprisoned me against the mattress allowing me to run shaking
hands along a coarse, marble chest. I leaned up into his earthiness, inhaling a
heady pine scent a second before he reattached his mouth to my lips. Greedily,
my hands ran over his warm, naked skin, relishing the firm muscles that
detained me.

He pulled the dress over my hips and disconnected
from me. With a glance down, he groaned at the white lace panties glowing
against my skin. His fingertips hooked under the elastic and I exhaled into his
mouth. They dragged along my skin, sending me into soft convulsions. I bucked
against his hand reflexively as his fingers reached beneath the lace to find me
slick with longing. I bit his lip softly when he slid a finger along me. Clumsily,
I pulled at his belt buckle until it gave. Metal struck the floor when I threw
it, ringing through the room.

      
“You think
for one second,” he said hoarsely between kisses, taunting me with his finger,
“that I haven’t wondered what it would feel like,” he paused, rubbing me
harder, “to be inside of you, since the moment I laid eyes on you?”

      
I moaned as
his words brought me to a new level of arousal. Scorching eyes fixed on me as
he stood and speedily unbuttoned his pants, stepping out of his clothing in one
graceful movement. His erection was impossibly big, and the thought of taking
all of him inside me sent a ripple of heat up my aching body to my face.

      
He
impatiently pulled at his socks and hopped away, leaving me panting, before returning
barefoot with a condom.

Disappointment flooded me. “I’m on birth
control.”

      
“Trust me,
there’s nothing I want more . . .” He leaned over the bed and planted a kiss on
my pout. “But we have to be extra careful.”

      
I nodded,
waiting with my hair fanned out beneath me, lustily watching him affix the
condom.

      
He took my
arms and tugged me to him, reaching back and unzipping the length of my dress.
He drew a sharp breath. “No bra,” he commented approvingly, before lifting it
over my head. I sat before him with drawn knees, hugging my arms to me. He
unfolded them, drinking in my naked body. “You’re incredible,” he whispered.
His fingers crooked into the elastic of my panties again, and I lifted up as he
pulled lightly, dragging them over my bent knees and down to my ankles, where
they fell to the floor.

      
He was
pushing me back onto the mattress, and his tongue ravaged my mouth; I pushed back,
letting my teeth nip at his bottom lip. He let his weight cover my quivering
body as he slid his arms underneath, pinning me to him. His hips moved against
me, and his kiss matched their hastening pace. I became even wetter under his
control; he was so maddeningly rigid against the inside of my thigh, rubbing
his length up me, sliding along my opening before hitting my clit. I thrust
upward when I could no longer take it, opening my legs wider, steepling them
for him.

      
“David,” I
exhaled. “Please, David,” I begged. “I can’t . . . I can’t take it.”

      
He eagerly
spread my legs further apart with his, and bared me to him. He reached between
us and deftly inserted the tip of himself into me.

      
“Oh,
Olivia,” he growled, looking to the ceiling in pleasure. “You’re so wet. So
ready.”

      
“Please.”
My voice was high-pitched, impatient to fill the endless ache.

      
He moved
onto his elbows, and I let a small sound escape as he eased into me, pushing
himself all the way in. I breathed in sharply as he exhaled. I clenched the
sheets beneath me in unforgiving fists. My walls molded around him, and he felt
like heaven inside me
.
It was what
I’d been missing all this time.

I didn’t know how my face looked in that moment
of pure bliss, but he whispered, “Are you okay?” We remained that way,
momentarily immobilized by the sensation, until I managed a quick nod.

      
His breath
quickened as he sought my mouth, kissing me as though it were the last thing he
would ever do; it was needy, tender and fast all at once. “Hang on to me,” he instructed.

      
He pulled
out almost entirely and drove inside of me with a guttural groan. I gripped his
arms and had only a second to wrap my legs around him before he thrust again,
wrapping me up into his rhythm. His pace accelerated quickly, giving me exactly
what I wanted and more than I knew I needed. Within seconds he was mercilessly
driving into me over and over,
yes yes
yes
, he moaned as though he were reading my thoughts. He reached for my
hair and yanked it, bowing my head to allow him access to my mouth as we
fucked.

      
Our bodies
moved greedily after months of built-up tension. I cried out brokenly at his
relentless thrusting, muttering inaudibly as warmth began to build within me.
My orgasm mounted swiftly and without mercy, pulling me into a world I’d never
been.

      
He kissed
that perfectly sensitive spot behind my ear, and I licked and sucked the wet
saltiness of his neck. He whisked my forearms above my head in an iron grip,
pushing them into the mattress. Firm hands skated along my skin and intertwined
our fingers, squeezing them as the thrusts came more and more frantically. “Oh
God, you are so beautiful, open up for me, baby,” he rasped.

      
Thoughts of
opening and closing, inadequacy and flaws began to rush over me. Here I was,
underneath the most beautiful man in the world, and I was certain he was the
answer to questions I’d stopped asking long ago. Could I do it for David? Warmth
receded as I gave into the anxiety, knowing that I was too flawed, even for him.

      
“Hey,” I
heard and opened my eyes, not realizing I’d been squeezing them shut. “Come
back,” he said, never breaking our rhythm. “Come on Olivia, come back to me.
Look at me,” he instructed. I met his eyes as he moved into me, slightly slower
but with more force. The change in momentum had me gasping for air and the heat
rekindled, drawing me into him. “Olivia,” he moaned with such intense need that
I moaned back at him. My legs pulled him closer, urging him deeper.

“That’s it baby, oh God, that’s it,” he said,
picking up his pace again and never losing eye contact.

      
“Yes,
David,” I cried suddenly. My bloodless fingertips tingled in his grasp, and my
thighs began to shake with the force of an impending explosion. He kissed me
with the same amount of force, giving me the push I needed to surrender.

      
“Let go,
baby, let go,” he uttered against my lips. Holding onto the edge, I
instinctually constricted myself around him. “Oh fuck, Olivia,” he shouted, and
I lost control. My entire body seared with fire and the world went white around
me. I gave myself over to the first blissful wave of pleasure that ripped
through me as he called my name over and over, coming fast and hard with me.

~

I didn’t
know how long we had lain there. When I fell back to earth, I found our
breathing had synced. As our fingers were still linked, he was still inside of
me, securing his collapsed weight to me.

Just
as I began to doze, he drew back and smoothed his hands over my hairline,
brushing the strands from my face. “Mmm, Olivia.” He kissed the place the hair
had been, then my cheek and my neck, lingering with each contact. “I have
never,” he whispered into my neck, “
never
come that fast. You drive me wild,” he breathed. I felt my face redden at the
admission and bit my lip shamefully.

Gently,
he reached down to pull out of me. He threw the condom on the ground and sat
back on his knees. The world slowed when I sat up to face him. A heavy pit formed
in my stomach as we watched one another, and the scope of what had happened hit
me violently.
Oh my God
.
What have I done?

I
looked down at my naked body, examining my adulterous hands. My face contorted
as tears threatened. I shook my head and covered my face, trying desperately to
hide from him what was coming. “No,” I whispered into myself.

“Olivia,”
David’s voice begged. I lifted myself from the bed, wanting only to run away,
but fell to the ground as my shaky legs buckled beneath me.

“No,”
I wailed. “What have I done?” My entire body shuddered with sobs as I curled
myself over my knees. Tears spilled from my hands and disappeared on the floor.
The coarse wood dug into my skin, and it gave when David stepped down to grasp
my folded hips with his immense hands. He lifted me up and turned me to him,
hugging me tight as I shook.

“I’m
here,” he whispered feverishly. “Let me in, let me help.”

“You
can’t.” Despair squeezed my chest, making its way up to my throat. “I don’t
know what you think you see in me but I’m not that.”

He
placed his hands on both sides of my head and guided it back gently, clearing
the hair from my tear-streaked face. “I see a girl who wants to let go.”

His
words struck something buried deep inside, and I shook my head harder, stepping
back without breaking eye contact. “I’m not that. I don’t want that,” I said,
pressing my palm forcefully against my chest. “I’m black inside, David, you
don’t understand. There’s nothing there to give, I’m too fucked up. And you, oh
God, you’re so
beautiful
.” The
confession knocked the breath from me as the words pulsated through my body. I
trembled under his loosened grip. He was drawing out my closely guarded
secrets, charming them from me like poisonous snakes.