Common American Phrases in Everyday Contexts (102 page)

If it isn't
someone
!
This is a person I didn't expect to see here!
Well, if it isn't Bob Jones! Where've you been keeping yourself, Bob?
A: Say, don't I know you? B: If it isn't Fred Smith. How are you doing, Fred?

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times
.
an expression that introduces a scolding, usually said to a child.
M
OTHER
: If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, don't leave your clothes in a pile on the floor! B
ILL
: Sorry
.
“If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, keep out of my study!” yelled Bob.

If that don't beat all
!
AND
That beats everything
!
That surpasses everything!; That is amazing!; That takes the cake! (The grammar error,
that don't
, is part of this phrase.)
T
OM
: The mayor is kicking the baseball team out of the city. B
ILL
: If that don't beat all!
J
OHN
: Now, here's a funny thing. South America used to be attached to Africa. F
RED
: That beats everything! J
OHN
: Yeah.

If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask
.
a polite phrase offering help in finding something or by providing something. (Often said by a host or by a person helping someone settle into something.)
M
ARY
: This looks very nice. I'll be quite comfortable here. J
ANE
: If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask
.
“If there is anything you need, don't hesitate to ask,” said the room clerk.

If you don't mind. 1
.
Please stop annoying me! (An expression that rebukes someone for some minor social violation. See also Do you mind?)
When Bill accidently sat on Mary's purse, which she had placed in the seat next to her, she said, somewhat angrily, “If you don't mind!
”
B
ILL
(pushing his way in front of Mary in the checkout line): Excuse me. I'm in a hurry. M
ARY
: If you don't mind! I was here first! B
ILL
: I'm in a hurry. M
ARY
: So am I!
2
.
Please, oblige me
if it is not a bother. (A polite way of softening a request, equivalent to
please
.)
B
ILL
: If you don't mind, could you move a little to the left? S
ALLY
: No problem
. (Sally moves.)
Is this all right? B
ILL
: Yeah. Great! Thanks!
J
ANE
: Could I have your broccoli, if you don't mind? J
OHN
: Help yourself
.
3
.
Yes, please do so if it is not too much of a bother. (A vague “yes” answer to a question that asks whether one should do something.)
T
OM
: Do you want me to take these dirty dishes away? M
ARY
: If you don't mind
.
B
ILL
: Shall I close the door? S
ALLY
: If you don't mind.