Complete Plays, The (315 page)

Parolles

I most unfeignedly beseech your lordship to make some reservation of your wrongs: he is my good lord: whom I serve above is my master.

Lafeu

Who? God?

Parolles

Ay, sir.

Lafeu

The devil it is that’s thy master. Why dost thou garter up thy arms o’ this fashion? dost make hose of sleeves? do other servants so? Thou wert best set thy lower part where thy nose stands. By mine honour, if I were but two hours younger, I’ld beat thee: methinks, thou art a general offence, and every man should beat thee: I think thou wast created for men to breathe themselves upon thee.

Parolles

This is hard and undeserved measure, my lord.

Lafeu

Go to, sir; you were beaten in Italy for picking a kernel out of a pomegranate; you are a vagabond and no true traveller: you are more saucy with lords and honourable personages than the commission of your birth and virtue gives you heraldry. You are not worth another word, else I’ld call you knave. I leave you.

Exit

Parolles

Good, very good; it is so then: good, very good; let it be concealed awhile.

Re-enter Bertram

Bertram

Undone, and forfeited to cares for ever!

Parolles

What’s the matter, sweet-heart?

Bertram

Although before the solemn priest I have sworn,
I will not bed her.

Parolles

What, what, sweet-heart?

Bertram

O my Parolles, they have married me!
I’ll to the Tuscan wars, and never bed her.

Parolles

France is a dog-hole, and it no more merits
The tread of a man’s foot: to the wars!

Bertram

There’s letters from my mother: what the import is, I know not yet.

Parolles

Ay, that would be known. To the wars, my boy, to the wars!
He wears his honour in a box unseen,
That hugs his kicky-wicky here at home,
Spending his manly marrow in her arms,
Which should sustain the bound and high curvet
Of Mars’s fiery steed. To other regions
France is a stable; we that dwell in’t jades;
Therefore, to the war!

Bertram

It shall be so: I’ll send her to my house,
Acquaint my mother with my hate to her,
And wherefore I am fled; write to the king
That which I durst not speak; his present gift
Shall furnish me to those Italian fields,
Where noble fellows strike: war is no strife
To the dark house and the detested wife.

Parolles

Will this capriccio hold in thee? art sure?

Bertram

Go with me to my chamber, and advise me.
I’ll send her straight away: to-morrow
I’ll to the wars, she to her single sorrow.

Parolles

Why, these balls bound; there’s noise in it. ’Tis hard:
A young man married is a man that’s marr’d:
Therefore away, and leave her bravely; go:
The king has done you wrong: but, hush, ’tis so.

Exeunt

S
CENE
IV. P
ARIS
. T
HE
K
ING
’
S
PALACE
.

Enter Helena and Clown

Helena

My mother greets me kindly; is she well?

Clown

She is not well; but yet she has her health: she’s very merry; but yet she is not well: but thanks be given, she’s very well and wants nothing i’, the world; but yet she is not well.

Helena

If she be very well, what does she ail, that she’s not very well?

Clown

Truly, she’s very well indeed, but for two things.

Helena

What two things?

Clown

One, that she’s not in heaven, whither God send her quickly! the other that she’s in earth, from whence God send her quickly!

Enter Parolles

Parolles

Bless you, my fortunate lady!

Helena

I hope, sir, I have your good will to have mine own good fortunes.

Parolles

You had my prayers to lead them on; and to keep them on, have them still. O, my knave, how does my old lady?

Clown

So that you had her wrinkles and I her money, I would she did as you say.

Parolles

Why, I say nothing.

Clown

Marry, you are the wiser man; for many a man’s tongue shakes out his master’s undoing: to say nothing, to do nothing, to know nothing, and to have nothing, is to be a great part of your title; which is within a very little of nothing.

Parolles

Away! thou’rt a knave.

Clown

You should have said, sir, before a knave thou’rt a knave; that’s, before me thou’rt a knave: this had been truth, sir.

Parolles

Go to, thou art a witty fool; I have found thee.

Clown

Did you find me in yourself, sir? or were you taught to find me? The search, sir, was profitable; and much fool may you find in you, even to the world’s pleasure and the increase of laughter.

Parolles

A good knave, i’ faith, and well fed.
Madam, my lord will go away to-night;
A very serious business calls on him.
The great prerogative and rite of love,
Which, as your due, time claims, he does acknowledge;
But puts it off to a compell’d restraint;
Whose want, and whose delay, is strew’d with sweets,
Which they distil now in the curbed time,
To make the coming hour o’erflow with joy
And pleasure drown the brim.

Helena

What’s his will else?

Parolles

That you will take your instant leave o’ the king
And make this haste as your own good proceeding,
Strengthen’d with what apology you think
May make it probable need.

Helena

What more commands he?

Parolles

That, having this obtain’d, you presently
Attend his further pleasure.

Helena

In every thing I wait upon his will.

Parolles

I shall report it so.

Helena

I pray you.

Exit Parolles

Come, sirrah.

Exeunt

S
CENE
V. P
ARIS
. T
HE
K
ING
’
S
PALACE
.

Enter Lafeu and Bertram

Lafeu

But I hope your lordship thinks not him a soldier.

Bertram

Yes, my lord, and of very valiant approof.

Lafeu

You have it from his own deliverance.

Bertram

And by other warranted testimony.

Lafeu

Then my dial goes not true: I took this lark for a bunting.

Bertram

I do assure you, my lord, he is very great in knowledge and accordingly valiant.

Lafeu

I have then sinned against his experience and transgressed against his valour; and my state that way is dangerous, since I cannot yet find in my heart to repent. Here he comes: I pray you, make us friends; I will pursue the amity.

Enter Parolles

Parolles

[To Bertram]
 
These things shall be done, sir.

Lafeu

Pray you, sir, who’s his tailor?

Parolles

Sir?

Lafeu

O, I know him well, I, sir; he, sir, ’s a good workman, a very good tailor.

Bertram

[Aside to Parolles]
 
Is she gone to the king?

Parolles

She is.

Bertram

Will she away to-night?

Parolles

As you’ll have her.

Bertram

I have writ my letters, casketed my treasure,
Given order for our horses; and to-night,
When I should take possession of the bride,
End ere I do begin.

Lafeu

A good traveller is something at the latter end of a dinner; but one that lies three thirds and uses a known truth to pass a thousand nothings with, should be once heard and thrice beaten. God save you, captain.

Bertram

Is there any unkindness between my lord and you, monsieur?

Parolles

I know not how I have deserved to run into my lord’s displeasure.

Lafeu

You have made shift to run into ’t, boots and spurs and all, like him that leaped into the custard; and out of it you’ll run again, rather than suffer question for your residence.

Bertram

It may be you have mistaken him, my lord.

Lafeu

And shall do so ever, though I took him at ’s prayers. Fare you well, my lord; and believe this of me, there can be no kernel in this light nut; the soul of this man is his clothes. Trust him not in matter of heavy consequence; I have kept of them tame, and know their natures. Farewell, monsieur: I have spoken better of you than you have or will to deserve at my hand; but we must do good against evil.

Exit

Parolles

An idle lord. I swear.

Bertram

I think so.

Parolles

Why, do you not know him?

Bertram

Yes, I do know him well, and common speech
Gives him a worthy pass. Here comes my clog.

Enter Helena

Helena

I have, sir, as I was commanded from you,
Spoke with the king and have procured his leave
For present parting; only he desires
Some private speech with you.

Bertram

I shall obey his will.
You must not marvel, Helen, at my course,
Which holds not colour with the time, nor does
The ministration and required office
On my particular. Prepared I was not
For such a business; therefore am I found
So much unsettled: this drives me to entreat you
That presently you take our way for home;
And rather muse than ask why I entreat you,
For my respects are better than they seem
And my appointments have in them a need
Greater than shows itself at the first view
To you that know them not. This to my mother:

Giving a letter

’Twill be two days ere I shall see you, so I leave you to your wisdom.

Helena

Sir, I can nothing say,
But that I am your most obedient servant.

Bertram

Come, come, no more of that.

Helena

And ever shall
With true observance seek to eke out that
Wherein toward me my homely stars have fail’d
To equal my great fortune.

Bertram

Let that go:
My haste is very great: farewell; hie home.

Helena

Pray, sir, your pardon.

Bertram

Well, what would you say?

Helena

I am not worthy of the wealth I owe,
Nor dare I say ’tis mine, and yet it is;
But, like a timorous thief, most fain would steal
What law does vouch mine own.

Bertram

What would you have?

Helena

Something; and scarce so much: nothing, indeed.
I would not tell you what I would, my lord:
Faith yes;
Strangers and foes do sunder, and not kiss.

Bertram

I pray you, stay not, but in haste to horse.

Helena

I shall not break your bidding, good my lord.

Bertram

Where are my other men, monsieur? Farewell.

Exit Helena

Go thou toward home; where I will never come
Whilst I can shake my sword or hear the drum.
Away, and for our flight.

Parolles

Bravely, coragio!

Exeunt

A
CT
III

S
CENE
I. F
LORENCE
. T
HE
D
UKE
’
S
PALACE
.

Flourish. Enter the Duke of Florence attended; the two Frenchmen, with a troop of soldiers.

Duke

So that from point to point now have you heard
The fundamental reasons of this war,
Whose great decision hath much blood let forth
And more thirsts after.

First Lord

Holy seems the quarrel
Upon your grace’s part; black and fearful
On the opposer.

Duke

Therefore we marvel much our cousin France
Would in so just a business shut his bosom
Against our borrowing prayers.

Second Lord

Good my lord,
The reasons of our state I cannot yield,
But like a common and an outward man,
That the great figure of a council frames
By self-unable motion: therefore dare not
Say what I think of it, since I have found
Myself in my incertain grounds to fail
As often as I guess’d.

Duke

Be it his pleasure.

First Lord

But I am sure the younger of our nature,
That surfeit on their ease, will day by day
Come here for physic.

Duke

Welcome shall they be;
And all the honours that can fly from us
Shall on them settle. You know your places well;
When better fall, for your avails they fell:
To-morrow to the field.

Flourish. Exeunt

S
CENE
II. R
OUSILLON
. T
HE
C
OUNT
’
S
PALACE
.