Complete Poems and Plays (59 page)

L
AVINIA
.
Stop! I want you to explain the telegram.

J
ULIA
.
Explain the telegram? What do you think, Alex?

A
LEX
.
No, Julia,
we
can’t explain the telegram.

L
AVINIA
.
I am sure that you could explain the telegram.

I don’t know why. But it seems to me that yesterday

I started some machine, that goes on working,

And I cannot stop it; no, it’s not like a machine —

Or if it’s a machine, someone else is running it.

But who? Somebody is always interfering …

I don’t feel free … and yet I started it …

J
ULIA
.
Alex, do you think we could explain
anything?

A
LEX
.
I think not, Julia. She must find out for herself:

That’s the only way.

J
ULIA
.
                           How right you are!

Well, my dears, I shall see you very soon.

E
DWARD
.
When
shall we see you?

J
ULIA
.
                                              Did I say you’d see me?

Good-bye. I believe … I haven’t left anything.

[
Enter
P
ETER
]

P
ETER
.
I’ve got a taxi, Julia.

J
ULIA
.
                                     Splendid! Good-bye!

[
Exeunt
J
ULIA
, A
LEX
and
P
ETER
]

L
AVINIA
.
I must say, you don’t seem very pleased to see me.

E
DWARD
.
I can’t say that I’ve had much opportunity

To seem anything. But of course I’m glad to see you.

L
AVINIA.
Yes, that was a silly thing to say.

Like a schoolgirl. Like Celia. I don’t know why I said it.

Well, here I am.

E
DWARD
.
                I am to ask no questions.

L
AVINIA
.
And I know I am to give no explanations.

E
DWARD
.
And I am to give no explanations.

L
AVINIA
.
And I am to ask no questions. And yet … why not?

E
DWARD
.
I don’t know why not. So what are we to talk about?

L
AVINIA
.
There is one thing I ought to know, because of other people

And what to do about them. It’s about that party.

I suppose you won’t believe I forgot all about it!

I let you down badly. What did you do about it?

I only remembered after I had left.

E
DWARD
.
I telephoned to everyone I knew was coming

But I couldn’t get everyone. And so a few came.

L
AVINIA
.
Who came?

E
DWARD
.
                   Just those who were here this evening …

L
AVINIA
.
That’s odd.

E
DWARD.
                    … and one other. I don’t know who he was,

But
you
ought to know.

L
AVINIA
.
                            Yes, I think I know.

But I’m puzzled by Julia. That woman is the devil.

She know’s by instinct when something’s going to happen.

Trust her not to miss any awkward situation!

And what did you tell them?

E
DWARD
.
                                   I invented an aunt

Who was ill in the country, and had sent for you.

L
AVINIA
.
Really, Edward! You had better have told the truth:

Nothing less than the truth could deceive Julia.

But how did the aunt come to live in Essex?

E
DWARD
.
Julia compelled me to make her live somewhere.

L
AVINIA
.
I see. So Julia made her live in Essex;

And made the telegrams come from Essex.

Well, I shall have to tell Julia the truth.

I shall always tell the truth now.

We have wasted such a lot of time in lying.

E
DWARD
.
I don’t quite know what you mean.

L
AVINIA
.
                                                           Oh, Edward!

The point is, that since I’ve been away

I see that I’ve taken you much too seriously.

And now I can see how absurd you are.

E
DWARD
.
That is a very serious conclusion

To have arrived at in … how many? … thirty-two hours.

L
AVINIA
.
Yes, a very important discovery,

Finding that you’ve spent five years of your life

With a man who has no sense of humour;

And that the effect upon me was

That I lost all sense of humour myself.

That’s what came of always giving in to you.

E
DWARD
.
I was unaware that you’d always given in to me.

It struck me very differently. As we’re on the subject,

I thought that it was I who had given in to
you.

L
AVINIA
.
I know what you mean by giving in to
me
:

You mean, leaving all the practical decisions

That you should have made yourself. I remember —

Oh, I ought to have realised what was coming —

When we were planning our honeymoon,

I couldn’t make you say where you wanted to go …

E
DWARD
.
But I wanted
you
to make that decision.

L
AVINIA
.
But how could I tell where I wanted to go

Unless you suggested some other place first?

And I remember that finally in desperation

I said: ‘I suppose you’d as soon go to Peacehaven’ —

And you said ‘I don’t mind’.

E
DWARD
.
                                  Of course I didn’t mind.

I meant it as a compliment.

L
AVINIA
.
                                  You meant it as a compliment!

And you were so considerate, people said;

And you thought you were unselfish. It was only passivity;

You only wanted to be bolstered, encouraged….

E
DWARD
.
Encouraged? To what?

L
AVINIA
.
                                        To think well of yourself.

You know it was I who made you work at the Bar …

E
DWARD
.
You nagged me because I didn’t get enough work

And said that I ought to meet more people:

But when the briefs began to come in —

And they didn’t come through any of
your
friends —

You suddenly found it inconvenient

That I should be always too busy or too tired

To be of use to you socially …

L
AVINIA.
                                         I
never
complained.

E
DWARD
.
No; and it was perfectly infuriating,

The way you
didn’t
complain …

L
AVINIA
.
                                          It was you who complained

Of seeing nobody but solicitors and clients …

E
DWARD
.
And you were never very sympathetic.

L
AVINIA
.
Well, but I tried to do something about it.

That was why I took so much trouble

To have those Thursdays, to give you the chance

Of talking to intellectual people …

E
DWARD
.
You would have given me about as much opportunity

If you had hired me as your butler:

Some of your guests may have thought I
was
the butler.

L
AVINIA
.
And on several occasions, when somebody was coming

Whom I particularly wanted you to meet,

You didn’t arrive until just as they were leaving.

E
DWARD
.
Well, at least,
they
can’t have thought I was the butler.

L
AVINIA
.
Everything I tried only made matters worse,

And the moment you were offered something that you wanted

You wanted something else. I shall treat you very differently

In future.

E
DWARD
.
Thank you for the warning. But tell me,

Since this is how you see me, why did you come back?

L
AVINIA
.
Frankly, I don’t know. I was warned of the danger,

Yet something, or somebody, compelled me to come.

And why did you want me?

E
DWARD
.
                                   I don’t know either.

You say you were trying to ‘encourage’ me:

Then why did you always make me feel insignificant?

I may not have known what life I wanted,

But it wasn’t the life you chose for me.

You wanted your husband to be
successful,

You wanted me to supply a public background

For your kind of public life. You wished to be a hostess

For whom my career would be a support.

Well, I tried to be accommodating. But, in future,

I shall behave, I assure you, very differently.

L
AVINIA
.
Bravo! Edward. This is surprising.

Now who could have taught you to answer back like that?

E
DWARD
.
I have had quite enough humiliation

Lately, to bring me to the point

At which humiliation ceases to humiliate.

You get to the point at which you cease to feel