Complete Poems and Plays (73 page)

And back to Joshua Park in the evening,

And once a year our holiday at Dawlish’.

And to think that was only the beginning of my travels!

It’s been a very unusual privilege

To see as much of Europe as I have,

Getting Lady Elizabeth out of her difficulties.

C
OLBY
.
Perhaps she won’t even arrive by this plane.

E
GGERSON
.
Oh, that could happen. She sometimes gets lost,

Or loses her ticket, or even her passport.

But let’s not be crossing any bridges

Until we come to them. That’s what
I
always say.

And I’m sure you’ll like her. She’s
such
a lady!

And what’s more, she has a good heart.

C
OLBY
.
Everybody seems to be kind-hearted.

But there’s one thing I do believe, Mr. Eggerson:

That
you
have a kind heart. And I’m convinced

That you always contrive to think the best of everyone.

E
GGERSON
.
You’ll come to find that I’m right, I assure you.

[
Enter
S
IR
C
LAUDE
]

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
Hello! Still here? It’s time you were off.

E
GGERSON
.
I’m just going. There’s plenty of time.

[
Looks
at
his
watch
]

I’ll arrive at the airport with minutes to spare,

And besides, there’s the Customs. That’ll take her a time,

From my experience.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
M
ULHAMMER’S
voice
off
.
*
Just open that case, I want something out of it.

Unwrap that — It’s a bottle of medicine.

Now, Parkman, will you give it to the driver?

He tells me that he suffers from chronic catarrh.

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
Hello! What’s that?

[
Opens
door
on
to
landing
and
listens
]

She’s here, Eggerson! That’s her voice.

Where is she? Oh, she’s gone out again.

[
Goes
to
the
window
and
looks
down
on
the
street
]

She’s having a conversation with the cabman.

What can they be talking about? She’s coming in!

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
M
ULHAMMER’S
voice
off.
^*
No, Gertrude, I haven’t had any lunch,

And I don’t want it now. Just bring me some tea.

Nothing with it. No, I forgot:

You haven’t learned yet how to make tea properly.

A cup of black coffee. Is Sir Claude at home?

I’ll speak to him first.

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
Good heavens, Eggerson, what
can
have happened?

E
GGERSON
.
It’s perfectly amazing. Let
me
go down to meet her.

S
IR
C
LAUDE.
Where ought we to be? What ought we to be doing?

E
GGERSON
[
at
the
open
door
]
.
She’s speaking to the parlourmaid. She’s coming up.

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
Colby, sit at the desk, and pick up some papers.

We must look as if we’d been engaged in business.

[
Enter
L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
M
ULHAMMER
]

E
GGERSON &
S
IR
C
LAUDE
[
simultaneously
]
.
Lady Elizabeth!

Elizabeth!

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
What on earth has happened?

E
GGERSON
.
Lady Elizabeth! This is most surprising.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
What’s surprising, Eggerson? I’ve arrived, that’s all.

E
GGERSON
.
I was just starting for Northolt to meet you.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
That was very thoughtful of you, Eggerson,

But quite unnecessary. And besides,

I didn’t come by air. I arrived at Victoria.

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
Do you mean to say that you changed your ticket?

E
GGERSON
.
Yes, how did you manage to change your ticket?

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
I went to the agency and got them to change it.

I can’t understand why you’re both so surprised.

You know I’m a very experienced traveller.

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
Oh yes, of course we know that, Elizabeth.

But why did you change your plans?

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
                                     Because of Mildred Deverell.

She’s been having the treatment with me,

And she can’t go by air — she says it makes her sea-sick;

So we took the night train, and did the Channel crossing.

But who is this young man? His face is familiar.

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
This young man is Eggerson’s successor.

You know that Eggerson’s been meaning to retire …

E
GGERSON
.
Under medical orders, Lady Elizabeth:

The doctor made it very imperative …

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
Mr. Simpkins had very strong recommendations …

E
GGERSON
.
And at the same time, he had another tempting offer:

So we had to make a quick decision.

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
I didn’t want to bother you, during your treatment …

E
GGERSON
.
And Mr. Simpkins is much more highly qualified

Than I am, to be a confidential clerk.

Besides, he’s very musical.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
                      Musical?

Isn’t this the young man I interviewed

And recommended to Sir Claude? Of course it is.

I remember saying: ‘He has a good aura.’

I remember people’s auras almost better than their faces.

What did you say his name was?

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
                                      Colby Simpkins.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
[
counting
on
her
fingers
]
.
Thirteen letters. That’s very auspicious —

Contrary to what most people think.

You should be artistic. But you look rather frail.

I must give you lessons in the art of health.

Where is your home, Mr. Colby?

C
OLBY
.
                                               Simpkins.

E
GGERSON
.
Mr. Colby Simpkins.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
                           I prefer Colby.

Where are you living?

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
                     His home’s outside London.

But I want to have him closer at hand —

You know what a bother it’s been for Eggerson —

So I’m having the flat in the mews done over.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
But all in the wrong colours, I’m sure. My husband

Does not understand the importance of colour

For our spiritual life, Mr. Colby.

Neither, I regret to say, does Eggerson.

What colour have you chosen, between you?

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
I thought a primrose yellow would be cheerful.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
Just what I expected. A primrose yellow

Would be absolutely baneful to Mr. Colby.

He needs a light mauve. I shall see about that.

But not today. I shall go and rest now.

In a sleeping-car it is quite impossible

To get one’s quiet hour. A quiet hour a day

Is most essential, Dr. Rebmann says.

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
Rebmann? I thought it was a Dr. Leroux.

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
Dr. Leroux is in Lausanne.

I have been in Zürich, under Dr. Rebmann.

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
But you were going out to Dr. Leroux

In Lausanne. What made you go to Zürich?

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
Why, I’d no sooner got to Lausanne

Than whom should I meet but Mildred Deverell.

She was going on to Zürich. So she said: ‘Come to Zürich!

There’s a wonderful doctor who teaches mind control.’

So on I went to Zürich.

S
IR
C
LAUDE
.
                       So on you went to Zürich.

But I thought that the doctor in Lausanne taught mind control?

L
ADY
E
LIZABETH
.
No, Claude, he only teaches
thought
control.

Mind control is a different matter:

It’s more advanced. But I wrote you all about it.