Complete Works of Wilkie Collins (2269 page)

“He is of a sentimental turn — strongly sentimental; and tells Anne as June approaches that he hopes ‘we shall sometimes think of him’ in our own country. He wears a cloak, like Hamlet; and a very tall, big, limp, dusty black hat, which he exchanges on long journeys for a cap like Harlequin’s. . . . He sings; and in some of our quarters, when his bedroom has been near ours, we have heard him grunting bass notes through the keyhole of his door, to attract our attention. His desire that I should formally ask him to sing, and his devices to make me do so, are irresistibly absurd. There was a piano in our room at Hartford (you recollect our being there, early in February?) — and he asked me one night, when we were alone, if ‘Mrs. D.’ played. ‘Yes, Mr. Q.’ ‘Oh, indeed, Sir!
I
sing: so whenever you want
a little soothing
— ’ You may imagine how hastily I left the room, on some false pretense, without hearing more.

“He paints. . . . An enormous box of oil-colours is the main part of his luggage: and with these he blazes away, in his own room, for hours together. Anne got hold of some big-headed, pot-bellied sketches he made of the passengers on board the canal-boat (including me in my fur coat), the recollection of which brings the tears into my eyes at this minute. He painted the Falls, at Niagara, superbly; and is supposed now to be engaged on a full-length representation of me: waiters having reported that chamber-maids have said that there is a picture in his room which has a great deal of hair. One girl opined that it was ‘the beginning of the King’s Arms;’ but I am pretty sure that the Lion is myself. . . .

“Sometimes, but not often, he commences a conversation. That usually occurs when we are walking the deck after dark; or when we are alone together in a coach. It is his practice at such times to relate the most notorious and patriarchal Joe Miller, as something that occurred in his own family. When traveling by coach, he is particularly fond of imitating cows and pigs; and nearly challenged a fellow-passenger the other day, who had been moved by the display of this accomplishment into telling him that he was ‘a Perfect Calf.’ He thinks it an indispensable act of politeness and attention to inquire constantly whether we’re not sleepy, or, to use his own words, whether we don’t ‘suffer for sleep.’ If we have taken a long nap of fourteen hours or so, after a long journey, he is sure to meet me at the bedroom door when I turn out in the morning, with this inquiry. But, apart from the amusement he gives us, I could not by possibility have lighted on any one who would have suited my purpose so well. I have raised his ten dollars per month to twenty; and mean to make it up for six months.”

The conclusion of this letter was dated from “Montreal, Thursday, twelfth May,” and was little more than an eager yearning for home: “This will be a very short and stupid letter, my dear friend; for the post leaves here much earlier than I expected, and all my grand designs for being unusually brilliant fall to the ground. I will write you
one line
by the next Cunard boat, — reserving all else until our happy and long long looked-for meeting.

“We have been to Toronto and Kingston; experiencing attentions at each which I should have difficulty in describing. The wild and rabid toryism of Toronto is, I speak seriously,
appalling
. English kindness is very different from American. People send their horses and carriages for your use, but they don’t exact as payment the right of being always under your nose. We had no less than
five
carriages at Kingston waiting our pleasure at one time; not to mention the commodore’s barge and crew, and a beautiful government steamer. We dined with Sir Charles Bagot last Sunday. Lord Mulgrave was to have met us yesterday at Lachine; but, as he was wind-bound in his yacht and couldn’t get in, Sir Richard Jackson sent his drag four-in-hand, with two other young fellows who are also his aides, and in we came in grand style.

“The Theatricals (I think I told you
I had been invited to play with the officers of the Coldstream Guards here) are
A Roland for an Oliver;
Two o’Clock in the Morning;
and either the
Young Widow
, or
Deaf as a Post
. Ladies (unprofessional) are going to play, for the first time. I wrote to Mitchell at New York for a wig for Mr. Snobbington, which has arrived, and is brilliant. If they had done
Love, Law, and Physick
, as at first proposed, I was already ‘up’ in Flexible, having played it of old, before my authorship days; but if it should be Splash in the
Young Widow
, you will have to do me the favor to imagine me in a smart livery-coat, shiny black hat and cockade, white knee-cords, white top-boots, blue stock, small whip, red cheeks, and dark eyebrows. Conceive Topping’s state of mind if I bring this dress home and put it on unexpectedly! . . . God bless you, dear friend. I can say nothing about the seventh, the day on which we sail. It is impossible. Words cannot express what we feel, now that the time is so near. . . .”

His last letter, dated from “Peasco’s Hotel, Montreal, Canada, twenty-sixth of May,” described the private theatricals, and inclosed me a bill of the play.

“This, like my last, will be a stupid letter, because both Kate and I are thrown into such a state of excitement by the near approach of the seventh of June that we can do nothing, and think of nothing.

“The play came off last night. The audience, between five and six hundred strong, were invited as to a party; a regular table with refreshments being spread in the lobby and saloon. We had the band of the twenty-third (one of the finest in the service) in the orchestra, the theatre was lighted with gas, the scenery was excellent, and the properties were all brought from private houses. Sir Charles Bagot, Sir Richard Jackson, and their staffs were present; and as the military portion of the audience were all in full uniform, it was really a splendid scene.

“We ‘went’ also splendidly; though with nothing very remarkable in the acting way. We had for Sir Mark Chase a genuine odd fish, with plenty of humor; but our Tristram Sappy was not up to the marvelous reputation he has somehow or other acquired here. I am not however, let me tell you, placarded as stage-manager for nothing. Everybody was told they would have to submit to the most iron despotism; and didn’t I come Macready over them? Oh, no. By no means. Certainly not. The pains I have taken with them, and the perspiration I have expended, during the last ten days, exceed in amount anything you can imagine. I had regular plots of the scenery made out, and lists of the properties wanted; and had them nailed up by the prompter’s chair. Every letter that was to be delivered, was written; every piece of money that had to be given, provided; and not a single thing lost sight of. I prompted, myself, when I was not on; when I was, I made the regular prompter of the theatre my deputy; and I never saw anything so perfectly touch and go, as the first two pieces. The bedroom scene in the interlude was as well furnished as Vestris had it; with a ‘practicable’ fireplace blazing away like mad, and everything in a concatenation accordingly. I really do believe that I was very funny: at least I know that I laughed heartily at myself, and made the part a character, such as you and I know very well: a mixture of T —
 
— , Harley, Yates, Keeley, and Jerry Sneak. It went with a roar, all through; and, as I am closing this, they have told me I was so well made up that Sir Charles Bagot, who sat in the stage-box, had no idea who played Mr. Snobbington, until the piece was over.

“But only think of Kate playing! and playing devilish well, I assure you! All the ladies were capital, and we had no wait or hitch for an instant. You may suppose this, when I tell you that we began at eight, and had the curtain down at eleven. It is their custom here, to prevent heart-burnings in a very heart-burning town, whenever they have played in private, to repeat the performances in public. So, on Saturday (substituting, of course, real actresses for the ladies), we repeat the two first pieces to a paying audience, for the manager’s benefit. . . .

“I send you a bill, to which I have appended a key.

“I have not told you half enough. But I promise you I shall make you shake your sides about this play. Wasn’t it worthy of Crummles that when Lord Mulgrave and I went out to the door to receive the Governor-general, the regular prompter followed us in agony with four tall candlesticks with wax candles in them, and besought us with a bleeding heart to carry two apiece, in accordance with all the precedents? . . .

“I have hardly spoken of our letters, which reached us yesterday, shortly before the play began. A hundred thousand thanks for your delightful mainsail of that gallant little packet. I read it again and again; and had it all over again at breakfast-time this morning. I heard also, by the same ship, from Talfourd, Miss Coutts, Brougham, Rogers, and others. A delicious letter from Mac too, as good as his painting, I swear. Give my hearty love to him. . . . God bless you, my dear friend. As the time draws nearer, we get FEVERED with anxiety for home. . . . Kiss our darlings for us. We shall soon meet, please God, and be happier and merrier than ever we were, in all our lives. . . . Oh, home — home — home — home — home — home — HOME!!!!!!!!!!!”

THE END OF VOLUME I

OF

THE LIFE

OF

1842-1852.

CORRECTIONS MADE IN THE LATER EDITIONS
OF THE FIRST VOLUME.

A notice written under date of the 23rd December, 1871, appeared with the Tenth Edition. “Such has been the rapidity of the demand for successive impressions of this book, that I have found it impossible, until now, to correct at pages , , and
 
three errors of statement made in the former editions; and some few other mistakes, not in themselves important, at pages , , and . I take the opportunity of adding, that the mention at p.
 
is not an allusion to the well-known ‘Penny’ and ‘Saturday’ magazines, but to weekly periodicals of some years’ earlier date resembling them in form. One of them, I have since found from a later mention by Dickens himself, was presumably of a less wholesome and instructive character. ‘I used,’ he says, ‘when I was at school, to take in the
Terrific Register
, making myself unspeakably miserable, and frightening my very wits out of my head, for the small charge of a penny weekly; which, considering that there was an illustration to every number in which there was always a pool of blood, and at least one body, was cheap.’ An obliging correspondent writes to me upon my reference to the Fox-under-the-hill, at p. : ‘Will you permit me to say, that the house, shut up and almost ruinous, is still to be found at the bottom of a curious and most precipitous court, the entrance of which is just past Salisbury-street. . . . It was once, I think, the approach to the halfpenny boats. The house is now shut out from the water-side by the Embankment.’“ I proceed to state in detail what the changes thus referred to were.