Concealed - A Hiding From Love Novel #2 (27 page)

“Yeah. Really sad.”

“Why? I mean, what’s brought up Juan?”

“I saw him.”

“What?!” I slide off the bed to sit on the floor next to her. “Where? When? How?”

She takes a deep breath. “You know I volunteer at the halfway house. Well, the women’s facility is next door to the men’s. So, a few weeks ago, I was outside on the patio filling out some paperwork after I’d counseled a client. I heard someone clipping the bushes a few feet away, and I looked up and there he was – Juan.”

“Whoa,” I breathe out. “Did he see you?”

“Yeah. I mean, I could tell he recognized me, even though he tried to act like he didn’t, but well, you know how I am…”

My sister’s not exactly a shrinking violet. I laugh. “So you accosted him, in other words.”

Her lips purse a little. “I didn’t accost him. I spoke to him. You could try that sometime instead of spending all day every day driving that stupid truck around for an excuse to see Gabe.”

“Hey! This is about you, not me,” I snap.

“Fine. I talked to him. I asked if he remembered me, and after he got over being so shy, he admitted that yeah, he did and that he’d even seen me at the halfway house a few times before I ever noticed him. He asked about David and Tomás. Then I asked him how he was. He sort of clammed up after that, but I mean, it was obvious he’s there as a resident, so it’s not like some secret he’s been in prison.”

“Wow, Beth. So if this was a few weeks ago, have you talked to him since?”

She blushes a little, and suddenly I’m getting a really bad feeling about this.

“Yeah, we’ve talked. I mean, he’s confined to the property – electronic ankle bracelet – for a few more weeks before he can start going out to look for jobs, so he’s always there. He does work around the yard because he can’t stand being inside all the time.”

“Um, Beth, do you think it’s such a good idea to spend time with him? I mean, I know we
used
to know him, but he was in prison for a drive-by. He killed a little girl. You know that, right?”

She pulls her knees up to her chest. “I don’t think he did it, Lex. I mean, the guy we knew as kids couldn’t have done that, and the guy I’ve been getting to know couldn’t either. He’s not some big, bad gangbanger, honest. He’s really…sweet.”

Oh. My. God. My sister is crushing on a felon. Holy shit. “Beth? Have you lost your mind? He killed someone. A child. He’s probably dealt drugs, stabbed people, stolen things, who the hell knows what else. He is not sweet. He’s dangerous.”

Beth is up on her feet in seconds. “See? I knew this would happen! I knew everyone would judge and assume the worst. You haven’t even seen him since you were fifteen years old. You have no idea what he’s like or what he’s been through. Yeah, he’s had to do some things, some awful things, but that doesn’t mean he enjoyed it or it defines him. He’s a survivor, and he’s done what he had to in order to stay alive. He deserves a second chance from me and from you and from the world. How else can he ever show who he really is?”

She’s nearly in tears, and I realize this is more serious than a simple crush. I have no idea how to handle this. I’m terrified for my sister, but I also know that if she’s in love with him there’s nothing I or anyone else can do to stop her. If you really love someone, you won’t let anything get between you.

Suddenly the truth of my own thoughts crashes in on me, and I realize that, instead of driving the damn truck around, hoping to put eighty thousand miles on it as an excuse to see Gabe, I need to
show
him that I’m in love with him. Really, truly in love with him. I need to quit letting things get between us. Distance, Marco, my parents, his new girlfriend. I finally said the words to him, but I’ve never lived them. Gabe has shown me over and over again how much he loves me. He’s come after me, forgiven me, devoted himself to me, waited for me, protected me.

“It’s my turn,” I say softly.

“What?” Beth asks. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Nothing. Look, I’m sorry I was judgy. You’re the smartest person I know, Beth. If you see something in him that’s different, then I trust your judgment. Just, promise me you’ll be careful, all right?”

“I will.” She nods as much to herself as to me.

“Is that what all this so-called research is about?” I gesture at the papers everywhere.

“Yeah.” She sits back down. “I truly don’t think he did it, Lex. There’re things he’s said, like he wants to tell me something but he can’t. These are all the files on his case and his term in Huntsville I can get with my access. There are more I can’t get to, but I want to start with all of this and see what I find. Just think, Lex, if somehow I could prove he didn’t do it.”

“What difference would it make now?” I’m curious. “He’s already served the time. How could having the conviction overturned help him?”

“Because he wouldn’t be a convicted felon anymore. He wouldn’t have to check that box on job applications and school applications. He could do the normal things in life without that whole stigma.”

“What about the tattoos?” I ask.

She looks at me sharply. “How do you know about his tattoos?”

I sigh. “I saw him once. Years ago, after he disappeared when the INS deported his mom. He’d joined the Latin King Nation by then, and my friends and I saw him at the mall. He was…” I’m not sure how to break this to my sister. “He was covered in gang tattoos and he recognized me. He was really mean, Beth, showing off for his homies. He didn’t seem like a nice guy at all.”

“Well, he is. He’s more than nice, and I want to help him, Lex.” Beth is at her stubborn best now. I know better than to argue.

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything though.”

“Thanks.” She reaches over and gives my hand a squeeze.

“I love you, Beth.”

“You too… So, you want to see a picture?”

“Of Juan? Hell yes. He was so hot.”

“Well he still is, and I know he could get something done with those tattoos…”

I spend the rest of the afternoon looking at snapshots of Juan on my sister’s phone and reminiscing about him and our older brothers when they were boys. It makes me sad that Juan never had the chance to become the man he should be, and I have to admire my sister for caring enough to try to get that back for him.

And now I know that part of taking charge of getting back the woman I’m supposed to be includes getting back the man I’m supposed to be with.

Gabe

A lo bueno, dejarlo estar.

Leave well enough alone.

T
HE
morning after I get Alexis to agree to drive the truck, I call Carla. We meet up at the park near her house and I bring coffee as a peace offering, knowing it won’t fix anything but hoping we can salvage a friendship.

She’s sitting at a picnic table, messing with her phone as I park. She looks up when I walk over but doesn’t give me much of a smile. I set the coffee down in front of her.

“Got you one of those sugary things you like so much,” I say, smiling but ready to retract my hand if she goes rabid on me.

“Thanks,” she answers noncommittally.

I sit down across from her and scratch my head. “So…I’m thinking you’re upset about last night?”

She looks at me like I’m a total dumbass.

“C. I had no idea she worked there. I swear it. I’m not sure why that upset you so much. I mean, I know it was a little awkward, but I thought it all went fine.”

“As if you’d have any idea how it went.”

I look at her, confused.

She sighs. “After the initial shock, I wasn’t upset about her being there. I was upset you spent the rest of the night undressing her with your eyes.”

I’d like to say I respond smoothly, but the fact is, I sputter. “Wh…what? Undress…no. I didn’t… I wasn’t…”

She holds up a hand, palm out, to me. “Stop. Just stop. You’re making it worse. Look. I’ve always known you’re still in love with her. And I’ve always known you aren’t in love with me. I guess, I don’t know… I guess I thought with time maybe you’d get over her and we could see where we might go. But we’re so obviously not going anywhere, and you’re so obviously not over her. We’re wasting our time here, Gabe.”

It’s the truth, but it hurts. Mostly because I know it’s my fault, and I shouldn’t have gotten involved with her. I knew better. I tried to tell myself that it didn’t matter because I didn’t sleep with her. But that’s bullshit. It mattered. And I’m a dick.

“God, C. I care about you.”

“I know you do.”

“You’re a great girl.”

“I know I am.” She smiles.

I run my hand through my hair and look up at the clouds in the blue sky for just a moment, feel the breeze on my face, listen to the kids in the distance playing on the swing set.

“She’s it. For me.” I look Carla in the eye. “I don’t know why and I don’t know how, but she’s it, and I can’t conceive of my world without her.”

Carla tears up. Fuck. I hate this.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper as I reach across the table and take her hand.

“No.” She shakes her head. “Don’t be sorry. It’s beautiful. We don’t choose who we love, Gabe. It just happens. Whatever bullshit is keeping you apart from her, you have to fix it. I told her the same damn thing. You’re so in love with each other that it’s hurting the rest of us to watch it.” She laughs through her tears.

“Wait.” I’m feeling clueless. “You told her? When did you talk to Alexis?”

“In the bathroom at the restaurant.” She looks somewhat embarrassed.

I raise one eyebrow. “Neither of you was bruised afterwards, so I guess no one took a shot?”

She rolls her eyes. “Not that kind of a talk, Mr. Modesty. But I did advise her to get her head out of her ass and talk to you because you’re still madly in love with her.”

“Yeah, well, guess she took that about as well as she takes any advice ever,” I mutter.

Carla laughs then, and it feels good to know I can make her happy instead of sad.

“So, is friends out of the question?” I ask carefully.

She shakes her head. “No, it’s not, but give me a little time to recover here, okay? I’m tough, but I’m not made of stone.”

“I understand.” I put my fist to my heart. “C. You’re it for someone really fucking lucky. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

She smiles a little. “Well, I’d better get out there and find him then so he’ll figure it out.”

With that, she stands up and walks away, leaving me alone in a park on a beautiful sunny day with nothing to stop Alexis and me from being together except each other.

Luckily, Carla convinces Mike not to beat the crap out of me when he finds out we’re not seeing each other anymore. It’s a close call though.

“I told you not to do it, dude. You’re a fucking asshole.”

I shake my head. “I know. You were right, okay? Honestly, I wasn’t thinking straight. I should have listened to you.”

He snorts. “You haven’t been thinking straight since Alexis took your balls two and a half years ago. You need to sort your shit.”

I lean back against the car I’m working on and scrub my hands over my face. “You know, a few months ago I would have punched you for that, but I give up. You’re right. She owns me. Fuuuck.”

Mike smirks as he walks over to the cabinet with the extra rags in it. “So what’s the problem? Just admit it to her and be done with this crap.” He takes out a couple of rags and tosses one to me so I can wipe off the grease that is now covering my face where I touched it.

“Man, what do you think I’ve been doing for the last few months? Telling her over and over again she’s got me any way she’ll take me. I can’t beg anymore. She has to decide what she wants.”

“Don’t get any more innocents involved in your crap at least.” He scowls at me like he still wants to take a piece out of me.

“Yes, sir.” I snap him a salute.

“You owe me, you know,” he answers as he scuffs with his shoe at some mud on the floor.

“Okay, name it. If it’ll prove how sorry I am, I’ll do whatever.”

“You’re going to teach me how to surf.”

“Uh, dude. No ocean. Just in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“Uh, dude. Corpus Christi. Three hours away.”