Confessed (Vargas Cartel #3) (10 page)

Chapter Sixteen

Ryker

I closed the door behind us and wandered to the pool with Hattie. I hated summer in the Yucatan. The wet air licked every exposed inch of skin, and the sun felt close enough to touch, almost like standing next to a brick oven. Each step outside was like drudging through a steam shower fully clothed.

“Are you going to start this conversation or are you waiting for me?” Hattie asked as we circled the pool for the second time.

I halted mid-stride near the tree line framing the edge of the pool area. I tipped up my head, squinting at the bright blue sky above us. The birds chirped. The bees buzzed. The jets in the pool hummed. A rare breeze shuffled her hair, and individual strands danced around her face like flames. The scent of chlorine tickled my nose, but I froze. Every time I opened my mouth, the words wouldn’t come out. I didn’t know where to begin. My mind was as blank as the day I was born. Words were my enemy.

She squeezed my hand tighter, and I found the courage to move forward. I cleared my throat. “Let’s sit here,” I said, pointing to the bench beneath a row of palm trees.

Her eyes searched my face, and the corners of her lips turned down. “Just say what you need to say. You’re scaring me.”

I rubbed my free hand down the side of my face. “You have to go home. The sooner, the better. Maybe I could find a flight for you tonight, but no later than tomorrow morning,” I blurted out.

“No.”

I arched a brow. “It’s non-negotiable.”

She ripped her hand out of my grasp and straightened the hem of her dress. “Wait. I’m confused. We’re back to that?” Betrayal bled from her words. “I can’t believe this. All those pretty words and promises you fed me a few minutes ago were nothing more than a pile of meaningless syllables strung together to appease me. I don’t get. Why’d you bother?”

I rubbed my palms along the sides of my thighs. “Hold on, Hattie. You’re jumping to conclusions. It’s not what you think.”

She pressed her hand to her chest like she wanted to stop her heart from breaking. “Then tell me what I should be thinking right now because all I’m hearing is that you want me out of your life as soon as possible. I can’t believe that after everything we’ve been through, you’re ready to throw us away without fighting for us. For me. For our baby.” She shook her head and sucked in a few monster breaths. She tried to act strong, but I heard the tremor in her voice. I hated hurting her.

“Okay. Okay,” I said, holding up my hands in mock surrender. “Let’s start from the beginning. I’m not trying to throw anything away.”

“You thought about it. You admitted it,” she accused, her voice laced with contempt.

“My main concern is your safety, and if sacrificing our relationship is the
only
way to keep you safe, then I will do it.”

Sadness haunted her face, and she closed her eyes for a beat. “So that’s it? You made up your mind,” she said, her lips trembling.

“No.” I dragged a hand through my hair. “If you still want me, I’m going to fight for us.”

She sighed, and her brows lifted, prompting me to continue. “Okay. That’s what I wanted to hear. That’s how you should’ve started this conversation.”

I laughed. “Good to know.”

She perched on the edge of the gray concrete bench and crossed her ankles. “Go ahead and explain what you’re thinking.”

With my hands deep in my front pockets, I paced back and forth in front of her for a few seconds, considering my words. Then I crouched down in front of her. “Ignacio already told you I agreed to help him with the cartel if he helped me rescue you.”

She angled her chin to the side, and her eyes narrowed a fraction of an inch. “Ignacio said as much, but I didn’t know whether I should believe him. I don’t trust him.”

“It’s the truth. He’s planning to groom me to be his successor.”

She dropped her head into her hands, and a fractured breath wheezed through her lips. “Oh God, Ryker. Why would you agree to that? What were you thinking?”

I gently brushed the hair away from her face. “I was thinking about you. I didn’t have any options, and there was no way in hell I would let you rot in that safe house begging for Juan Alvarez’s mercy while I came up with an alternative.”

“I appreciate what you did, but you don’t want this.” She puckered her lips, and her cheeks hollowed. “You hate this place. You hate everything the Vargas Cartel stands for.”

I squeezed her knee. “You’re right. I do, but it was the only thing I had to offer Ignacio.”

“So what now?”

“I need you to leave. I don’t want Ignacio or anyone else to use you as leverage against me. When this is over, I’ll find you.” I curled my hands into the hem of her dress, struggling to calm my racing heart. The thought of either Ignacio or that piece shit Juan Alvarez getting near Hattie or threatening her made me crazy.

Her head shook back and forth and strands of her brown whipped in front of her face. “No. Absolutely not. It’s not happening. Don’t even try to force to me leave. You’ve already done that once.”

“Why not?” I grumbled.

Her entire body tensed. “I won’t be any safer there than I would be with you. In fact, I think I’ll be in more danger. I’ll be a sitting target for any of your enemies and the Deverons.”

I rested my head on her knees for a minute gathering my thoughts. She was right. We had so many enemies.

Ignacio.

Juan Alvarez.

Senator Deveron.

Evan Deveron.

Emanuel.

And those were just the ones I knew about. As more people got wind of my connection to the Vargas Cartel, I’d have enough enemies to fill a ballroom.

“I think you need to deal with Senator Deveron and Evan and I’ll find a way to make sense of Ignacio and Juan Alvarez.”

“What do you mean deal with Senator Deveron and Evan?”

I sat on the bench next to her. “We need to expose their connection to the cartel. Then, they’ll be discredited or worse. Senator Deveron won’t have any power to hurt you anymore, and you won’t have to worry about Evan.”

“And how are we going to do that?”

He rubbed his lips together. “You’ll leak information and evidence corroborating the connection to any newspaper or website that will listen.” I’d have to search Ignacio’s office, which wouldn’t be easy, but I’d find a way to do it without alerting him. I needed at least a week to put the rest of my plan in motion before Ignacio discovered my deception.

Hattie didn’t move or speak for a few drawn out seconds. “And you want me to go back to D.C. to do it.”

My chest tightened. I didn’t want her to go anywhere. I wanted to chain her to my side forever, and never let go. “Yes. I think it’s the smartest way to get this done,” I said instead.

She closed her eyes and bowed her head, even as her hands fidgeted in her lap. “And you won’t come with me?”

“No. I need to stay here and take care of Ignacio and Juan.”

Hattie stilled, and her eyes blinked open, wide and alarmed. “I can’t do it alone.”

“I know. I was planning to send Noah with you,” I said quietly.

The words tasted like ash in my mouth, and something inside of me splintered. I didn’t want Noah anywhere near her. I saw the way he looked at her this morning. He wanted her, but I trusted her, and I hoped to hell it wasn’t misplaced. Either way, she deserved to be happy regardless of who made that happen. My lips twisted in perfect synchronicity with my gut at the thought. I shook my head, trying to eradicate the jealousy from my mind. The jealousy could wait. The rest of this mess wouldn’t.

“Who will help you?”

“Don’t worry about me.” I placed my hand on her lower belly, and she pulled her bottom lip through her front teeth. “Just take care of yourself and our baby, and I’ll find you when this is done.”

She leaned her head against my shoulder, gazing at me. Tears shimmered in her golden eyes. “You promise?” she said quietly, her voice breaking on the last word.

Our gazes held, and I smiled softly, my heart drumming hollowly in my chest. I slid my hands into the silky strands of her hair. “I promise. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

It’d be damn hard to keep my promise. If Ignacio got wind of what I was planning, he’d kill me, but there was no turning back. She’d always be my soft spot. My enemies wouldn’t hesitate to use her to get to me. I had to finish this once and for all. It was the only way I could guarantee Hattie’s and our baby’s safety. I understood that now. I had to eliminate them before they eliminated us.

Kill or be killed.

Destroy or be destroyed.

Attack or be attacked.

It wasn’t even a question. No more waiting. We had to go on the offensive and wage our own war.

Chapter Seventeen

Hattie

I tossed and turned, chasing sleep, but my mind had other plans. Ryker had left me in his room over an hour ago while he went to search Ignacio’s records. He told me to go to sleep, and I’d tried. I really did.

My mind circled relentlessly. My ears labored to hear every noise. My shoulder muscles crawled up the back of my neck. Minute after minute passed, and I swore I heard footsteps a million times, but nothing happened. No one came in the room. I finally gave up trying to sleep and turned on the lamp on the nightstand.

Just when I convinced myself Ryker was bleeding to death somewhere in the house, and I needed to go find him, the door handle dipped. I sat up in bed, clutching the sheets to my chest with one hand and fingering the gun Ryker gave me with the other. My irregular breaths echoed unnaturally in the room.

The door cracked open. A sliver of yellow light spilled onto the creamy travertine tiled floor. Afraid to make a sound, I held my breath and stared as the yellow sliver grew, inch by painful inch. A silhouette shaded the opening. My heart rapid-fired inside my chest.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

At its current rate, my heart would explode by the time the door fully opened. The hinges squeaked. My breath hitched.

Please don’t be Ignacio or worse…

“Hattie?” Ryker said, pausing in the entrance. “Is everything okay?”

I swallowed over the lump lodged in my throat. “Oh my God. You scared the crap out of me.”

His dark eyebrows knitted together. “Did something happen while I was gone?”

I shook my head. “No. I couldn’t sleep. I was worried about you.”

He closed the door behind him. “You should be sleeping. Your flight leaves early in the morning.” He leaned against the door with a wicked smile on his face. “But I can’t say I’m sad you’re awake.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because now I can kiss you goodnight.”

I rolled my eyes. “Did you find anything we can use?”

He tapped a large yellow envelope against his leg, and his lips pinched together until they almost disappeared entirely. “I found more than enough.” He held up the envelope. “Everything you need is in here. Don’t look at it until you get back to the States with Noah.”

I frowned. “I can’t read it on the plane?”

“No.” He unzipped my suitcase and emptied out my clothes.

I tossed the sheets to the side, and I jumped out of the bed. “What are you doing?”

“I’m hiding this,” he answered without looking at me.

I looked at him askance. “I can put it in my purse.”

“This is better.” He pulled a switchblade from his pocket and sliced open the silky black lining in the suitcase. He slipped the envelope inside and squirted a few dots of glue on the lining, temporarily sealing the cut.

I nodded. “What am I supposed to do with the information?”

He tapped me on the tip of my nose. “Noah knows what to do. He’ll talk to you about it on the plane.”

“When did you talk to him?”

His eyes turned serious, but a faint smile remained on his face. “Just now.”

“Oh.” I sat on the edge of the bed. “Why do I need to go with him? If he’s taking the lead, I can stay with you. I want to be here to support you.”

He sighed as he settled onto the bed next to me, his hand weaving around my waist. His soft touch seared my side, his thigh leaning into mine, and his long fingers flexing into my skin.

“It’s better that way,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. “I don’t know what will happen here. There are so many moving pieces and things I can’t control. If you leave, it’s one less thing I need to worry about.”

“Yeah. You’re probably right,” I said softly, even as a dull ache burrowed under my breastbone. As much as I wanted to glue myself to Ryker’s side, I sure as hell didn’t want to end up chained to a wall again because he couldn’t protect me.

My nerves were shot from straining to catch every sound over the last two hours, and my exhaustion made me jittery. Ryker slid his arm up my back to my shoulders and I buried my head into his chest, seeking strength in his embrace. I promised myself I would stay strong and not cry until I was safe at home, but I fell apart. Tears burned behind my eyes, and a strangled sob fled my mouth as I exhaled.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered next to my ear.

I tried to stand up, but he pulled me back down next to him.

“How long do you think?” I asked. My words were muffled from pressing my face into his chest, trying to capture every last molecule of his scent and sear it into my memory.

He kissed the top of my head. “Not long. A couple of weeks. Maybe a month if things get really complicated.”

I lifted my head even though I felt empty with defeat. My heart felt like it was made of glass, ready to shatter at the slightest touch. “Not a month. You can’t leave me for that long. I’ll be showing by then, and everybody will know. What will I say? What will I do?”

What everyone thought of me should’ve been the least of my concerns, but it wasn’t. My mom would lose her mind. My dad would say nothing as usual, but he wouldn’t have to. He communicated his disapproval with silence rather than words. My mom and dad made a good team in that respect. She said everything he wouldn’t and he sealed the deal by pretending I didn’t exist. His arm slid from my shoulder and I shivered.

“I didn’t want to do this yet.” He kneeled in front of me and tilted his head to the side. “Well, that’s not true. I planned to do it right when we got to Mexico, but everything was strained and then it fell apart.”

I nodded, unable to mutter a single word. He slipped his hand into his pocket, pulled out a black velvet box, and cracked it open. There was a large diamond solitaire framed by so many tiny diamonds it looked like a starburst. I cupped my hand over my mouth, unsure whether I wanted to laugh or cry. Maybe both.

“This isn’t how I planned to ask you to marry me. I wanted this moment to be perfect and filled with promises of a beautiful future. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted to surprise you—”

“Mission accomplished. You did surprise me,” I whispered, the words barely audible over the swish of the ceiling fan and the leaping of my heart in my chest. “I wasn’t expecting this. I never thought that far ahead. There was always so much going on. There was so much to figure out…” Realizing I was rambling, my voice faded to nothing.

His knuckles brushed along my face, and I felt his touch all the way down to my toes. “I know and just to be clear I don’t want you to say yes right now.” He pinned me with his gray eyes, an endearing, almost boyish, smile on his face. “It’s still not the right time, but I want to give you this ring so you’ll know where my heart is even if things get ugly and complicated.”

My lips trembled, and endless tears poured down my face, but I didn’t care. I wanted him to see how much this moment meant to me even if I couldn’t find the perfect words. “Things have been that way between us since the beginning, but that didn’t stop us before. It won’t stop us now.”

He nodded as he fingered the diamond ring inside the box. It sparkled in the dim room as the light hit the delicate angles of the stone. “Yeah.” He smiled faintly, his eyes glowing with an intensity that made my heart sputter. “You’re right, and I have a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better, but you’re worth it.” He swallowed hard. “I’d do anything for you. You know that, right?”

“I do.”

He nodded. “This is going to be hard. You need to be strong. So many things could go—”

I held up my hand, interrupting him. I didn’t want him to explain. If I understood all the hazards, I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed tomorrow much less put the pieces in motion to destroy Senator Deveron and Evan. I needed to stay firmly focused on the end goal, not all the crap in between.

“I know, but I don’t want to spend our last night together talking about all the bad stuff that could happen. I want to pretend like it doesn’t exist.” I licked my lips. “Just for tonight.”

“Okay. I can do that.” He slipped the ring out of the box and held it up between us like a peace offering. “When you look at this, I want you to remember that we’re both working for the same goal.”

“And what’s that?” I asked, wanting to make absolutely sure we were on the same page. There wasn’t any room for misunderstandings. We had to be in sync to make our plans work.

He laughed softly. “A lifetime together. I want to marry you and wake up every morning next to you. I want to celebrate every holiday, triumph, and birthday with you. I want to hold your hand through every hurt, tragedy, or moment of uncertainty.” He squeezed my hand and pressed it against the center of his chest. “You are my heart. You are my soul. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

His deep voice wrapped around my body like the softest blanket, and a cry of happiness escaped my mouth. He lifted my left hand and twirled the ring in front of me. His dark hair shone in the lamplight. His gray eyes glowed, drinking in every detail of my reaction.

“Can I put it on you?” he asked.

My breath snagged in my throat. “Yes. Oh my God. Yes.” He guided the ring up my finger and I held it up, wiggling my fingers. “It fits,” I whispered, feeling like Cinderella with the glass slipper.

“I love you, Hattie,” he answered simply as he pressed a kiss to my parted lips. “Somehow we’re going to make a life together. I don’t know what it’ll look like when everything unravels, but I do know it will be you, me, and our baby.” He rested his hand on my lower belly, and his eyes reminded me of a lake at twilight—deep and endless, just like our love. “Every time you look at this ring remember that no matter how bad things get, we have each other.”

My heart swelled. He promised to make all my dreams come true. I ached to kiss him and touch him. I didn’t have to wait long. Strong arms circled around me, his fiery heat engulfing me. I swayed into him, molding our bodies together. He smelled like soap and him. Perfection.

He brushed his lips across mine with a quiet but steady hunger. When my tongue slipped between his lips, he released a strangled moan and my mind blanked. Lust surged through my veins, hot and languid. Desire crackled in the air. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his.

“I love you too,” I whispered against his mouth, my voice thick and husky.

He leaned back, his eyes simmering with heat as his gaze trailed down my body and back up again.

“I’m so lucky you’re mine,” he said, his voice low and gruff. He gripped the back of my neck, crushing his lips against mine. Within seconds, the kiss exploded. His mouth was urgent, hot and persistent against mine. He tasted like earthy tequila, salt, and raw need. We only kissed for a brief moment, but it felt like forever as my worries slipped away and impatience to have him again squeezed around my chest. Breaking off the kiss, Ryker yanked my t-shirt over my head. His heavy-lidded eyes and slightly crooked smile set me on fire.

“Ryker,” I whispered, my voice feather soft.

His fingers traced a line from my collarbone down the middle of my chest, painting my skin with tiny goosebumps. He paused when he reached the top edge of my panties, and I blew out a shuddering breath. His thumb slid beneath my panties, teasing me with every swipe. One perfectly timed movement would set me off. He brushed a kiss below my belly button. Aching with need, a moan spilled from my mouth.

“I need you,” I said, latching onto his belt. I unbuckled it and shoved his pants down his hips as he pulled his shirt over his head. I wanted to touch every inch of him, mark him so he wouldn’t forget what we meant to each other. “You really think it’ll take a month?” I asked, thinking out loud as I nipped, bit, and licked his salty skin.

“God, I hope not,” he hummed into my neck as he pushed me back on the bed. He licked the column of my throat, twisting his hands into my hair. I arched my head, giving him better access. My chest heaved, heavy breaths flowing like water from my mouth.

“Wait,” I said, pushing him off me and sitting up again.

“What are you doing?”

“Shh,” I said, sliding down onto my knees in front of him. I wrapped my hand around his thick erection. “I’ve never done this for you before and I want to. I need to taste you.” I didn’t know why I felt that way. I never felt that way before. Certainly not with Evan, but Ryker made me feel all kinds of new things. Things I didn’t understand. Things I hadn’t known. Things I hadn’t even suspected.

He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t stop me.

“Fuck,” he groaned as I licked the tip, drinking his salty taste. An answering heat rippled between my legs. “You don’t have to do this.”

I licked from the base to the tip. It was like warm velvet over steel on my tongue. “You don’t like it?” I asked, looking at him through the fringe of my lashes. He looked down at me, and a lock of pitch-black hair fell in front of one of his eyes. I leaned forward and guided him inside of my mouth one inch at a time, my gaze never wavering from his face.