Connection (Le Garde) (21 page)

“
Nothing,” she said defensively. “I’m going to go.”

She started walking out, and I followed her. We passed Kaylie and Sam, and Sam glared at me. I ignored her and caught up with Anna on the sidewalk. “Come on, Anna. Things were fine between us yesterday.”

“
Yeah, and then I had to lie to Steven,” Anna said, zipping her jacket up. “Again.”

“
We could have rescheduled.”

“
And missed Kristina and Drew?”

“
They can teleport, Anna. I’m sure they could have come up a different day.”

Anna’s shoulders fell as she realized she’d completely forgotten. I held back a smile. That wouldn’t help. She felt my amusement, though, and spun around to face me. “Is this a joke to you?”

“
No! No, I’m sorry, okay?” I held up my hands.

“
I’m lying to Steven, my friends, my mom—”

“
You’re going to tell your mom.”

“
And what about Steven?” She threw a hand toward the coffee shop. “Sam and Kaylie?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, okay? Why are you taking it out on me? It’s not like I’m forcing you to practice.”

She frowned and rubbed her forehead. “I know. I just hate this. I feel like I’m cheating on him when I’m not.”

“
Well, what do you want, to tell him the truth?”

She paused, actually considering it.

I shook my head. “Anna, no.”

She started walking again. I wasn’t sure where she was going, but I followed.

“
Why not?” she asked.

“
Why not?” I repeated. “Because he’ll commit you? Don’t you think that’d come between the two of you?”

Anna struggled for words for a moment, and I could feel her surprise that I even cared. Sure, I liked her, but I wasn’t a complete jerk. She wondered if it would affect their relationship. Would he be upset to learn about our connection?

She shook her head. “He shouldn’t be upset. We can’t even touch.”

Frowning, I ran a hand through my hair. I wished that weren’t the case. “I don’t know, Anna. What if he doesn’t believe you?”

“
We’ll show him what we can do.”

I took hold of her arm. “What? No.”

She took her arm from me. “Why not?”

I couldn’t believe she was considering this. “This is our thing, okay? This belongs to you and to me, not to Steven.”

She gazed at me for a moment, touched by my words. Then she steeled herself, shaking her head. “I don’t want something between just the two of us,” she said quietly. “I’m going out with Steven, and I really like him, and I don’t want to keep a huge secret like this from him.”

“
What do you even see in him? Is it just because you can make-out with him?” I asked. I regretted saying it, since it was mostly out of anger.

“
No, of course not!” Anna raised her voice. “I don’t have to explain why I like him, okay? He was there for me when you weren’t.”

“
I told you I was sorry!” I would take it all back if I could, but how could I? 

“
Well, it doesn’t change what happened,” Anna snapped. “It doesn’t change how I feel about Steven.”

“
You can’t tell him. This is half my secret, too, and I don’t want you to tell him.”

She glared at me, torn between wanting to tell the truth to Steven and sticking with me. I could see her mind leaning toward Steven, away from me. I wanted to change her mind. I wanted her to be with me, not Steven. I wanted all of her. I stepped toward her, and her gaze turned softer. I loved her eyes, soft and brown. “Come on, Anna,” I said softly. “This is you and me.”

She shook her head. “You can’t ask me to lie to him.”

“
You can’t ask me to share this with anyone else.”

Her mouth fell open just the slightest, and I couldn’t help it. I took her face in my hands and kissed her. As soon as our lips touched, my body surged with electricity. She leaned into me, kissing me back. I felt her tongue against mine, and my hair stood on end. Her skin was silky smooth underneath my fingertips, and her lips pressed against mine.

The air was alive with electricity, crackling around us, the electrons dancing and searching for a current. I didn’t pay attention to them—I wanted to focus on this moment, on how Anna smelled and tasted and felt and—a loud
pop!
rang through the air.

She pushed me away. “What the hell are you doing?” Her voice was unnaturally high.

“
I don’t know,” I said breathlessly. I glanced over my shoulder; the open sign on the tattoo shop was off, and some pierced guy with a mohawk was banging on it.

“
Maybe we should just take a break,” Anna said, backing away.

“
Anna—”

“
Don’t!” she said, holding her hands up. “We should just do the tutoring thing—”

“
But what about—”

“
No!” she yelled. “I’m not going to lie to him anymore, and I’m not going to tell him unless you’re okay with it. Just leave me alone for a while.” She turned and started walking.

I followed her, calling her name.

“
Aaron, please,” she said, on the verge of tears. “I can’t do this right now.”

I slowed in my steps. She increased her speed to a jog. Within moments, she was gone.

13. le signal d’arrêt (the stop sign)

Anna

I took a moment before walking toward the stands. I’d thought over everything on the bus ride to the stadium, but it didn’t eliminate the shock running through me. Aaron had kissed me. Aaron had
kissed
me. Right after we’d been talking about Steven.

I had kissed him back.

And I’d liked it.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. What was wrong with me? I shook my head like a dog might when drying itself off. It wasn’t weird to like two guys at once. It wasn’t right to string both of them along, but I told Aaron I chose Steven. I’d pulled away.

I walked to the stands, glancing around for Steven. I saw him sitting next to a few adults. He watched the game, clapping and cheering. I wondered if I should tell him about the kiss. I was about to wave to him when he noticed me. He smiled and came down the stands.

He met me on the grass. “Hey, you made it!”

“
Yeah, we finished early.” I looked out at the field. “Which one’s your sister?”

Steven pointed out a small brunette girl in the midst of the players. “That’s her. Heather.”

“
How old is she again?”

“
Eight.”

I think she was technically his half-sister, but I wasn’t going to ask. It didn’t really matter since he’d been there just as long as I’d been there for Allie. “Cool, that’s how old Allie is. I wonder if they know each other. Are your parents here?”

“
Well, my mom and stepdad are. My dad didn’t make it.” Steven shrugged, shifting his weight. “He was busy or something.” He took my hand. “I’ll introduce you.”

His mom was shorter than me, which was already pretty short. She had short hair dyed red hair, bright red lipstick, red nails. Even her outfit was red. I had a sudden thought of her changing her color each day, like tomorrow she’d be in all blue.

Steven’s stepdad wore crisp slacks and a button-up with a tie. He kept brushing dirt off his pants as Steven introduced us. His mom, Paula, smiled at me. “Anna, I’ve heard so much about you. I can’t believe Steven is just now introducing you.” She shot Steven a glare. “Phil, can you believe it?”

Steven’s stepdad shook his head, his gaze on the game.

Steven sat next to his mom, and I took the spot on his other side.

Paula leaned across Steven’s lap, forcing him to lean back. “Are you coming over for dinner after this?”

“
Oh, I don’t know,” I said. “I told my mom I’d be home at five.”

“
Don’t worry about it,” Steven told me.

“
No, you have to come for dinner,” Paula said, smiling. Her teeth looked impossibly white.

“
Well, I’ll call her and ask,” I said.

Steven shook his head at me. “It’s fine.” He dropped his voice as his mom leaned toward Phil. “If you don’t want to come, that’s cool.”

I shrugged. “Do you want me to come over?”

“
Well, of course, but.
 
.
 
.” He glanced toward his mom and stepdad. “They’re just, you know.
 
.
 
.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “What?”

“
I don’t know. Just don’t feel like you have to.”

I took his hand. “I want to.”

He smiled uneasily. We watched the rest of the game with our hands clasped. Paula occasionally made conversation, asking about my classes and stuff, but then she got a phone call and left. She didn’t come back for the rest of the game, and Phil didn’t talk to us.

Heather made the winning goal, and everyone cheered. Her team surrounded her, and she got lost in a sea of jerseys and ponytails.

“
Heather’s good,” I told Steven as we stood and walked down the stands.

Steven grinned. “She is, isn’t she?”

We found Paula on the grass with Heather. Phil trailed behind us, quiet. I was starting to wonder if he could talk at all when he told Heather good job. She hugged him, and he patted her on the back. When she pulled away, he brushed off his shirt.

“
Heather, this is my girlfriend, Anna,” Steven said.

Heather smiled at me. “You’re really pretty!”

I laughed. “Oh, thank you. You’re a really great soccer player. Great goal.”

Heather’s freckled cheeks went red. “Thanks. Mom, can I go to Piper’s house tonight?”

“
No, Anna’s coming over for dinner,” Paula said, pulling Heather closer to her so she could pull her hair into a new ponytail.

“
I need to call my mom and ask,” I said.

“
Well, go ahead and call her,” Paula said, waving her hand. Steven sent me an apologetic look. I smiled and walked a few feet away.

I called my mom, but she didn’t answer her cell phone. It was only four-fifteen. If she said I couldn’t go, I could just ask Steven for a ride home in half an hour. At least I could get to know his family a little bit. I came back to Steven and his family. “Well, she’s not answering her phone, but she’s at work.”

“
Where does she work?” Phil asked. His voice had a Southern inflection.

“
The DMV,” I said.

Phil made a face that he didn’t even try to hide.

I cleared my throat. “If she doesn’t call back or if she says I should go home, then maybe Steven can give me a ride back. I could come over until I hear from her.”

“
Yeah, of course,” Steven said. “We’ll meet you guys at home.”

We walked to Steven’s car. The others went to a Lexus SUV. His family was well off, but Steven still paid his own way for most of his things: his car, his gas, his phone.

“
What does your stepdad do again?” I asked as I got into the front seat.

“
He’s a physical therapist.” Steven started the ignition. “Are you sure you want to come over?”

“
Are you sure you want me to come over?”

“
Of course I do.
 
.
 
.it’s just that my parents are kind of snobs. I know how Phil is going to act.”

I paused, scratching at a hole in the seat. “I noticed he didn’t like the DMV.”

“
That’s exactly what I mean. I just don’t want them to be jerks to you.”

On the way to Steven’s house, my mom called back. I asked her if I could go to their house for dinner, and she said I could go over at six-thirty, after I’d done my homework. Steven turned around to take me home.

“
Sorry,” I said.

“
Don’t worry about it,” Steven said. “It’ll help you avoid two hours of doing nothing at my house.”

“
I’m sure we would have found something to do.” I touched his knee.

“
Well, if you don’t have to be home until five.
 
.
 
.” Steven trailed off and smiled slyly at me.

A couple minutes later, we were making out in the backseat of his car on a lookout point in town. It was cliche, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to forget about my kiss with Aaron.

I got on Steven’s lap again, and his hands traveled up my shirt, then down my waistline. He knew exactly what to do to drive me crazy—in a good way. I knew he’d slept with his ex-girlfriend last year. I wondered if he wanted to sleep with me. Did I want to have sex with him? I knew what my body wanted, especially when he bit the skin of my neck, but I don’t know what my head wanted.