Connor's Gamble (14 page)

She slid the room key into the purse and headed out the door behind Trudy.  Time to do some thinking.  If she played her cards right, she might be able to kill two birds with one stone.  Esther snickered at the thought as she pulled the door closed behind her and headed for the casino floor.

Chapter Nineteen

Saturday

W
hen Alyssa heard the knock on the door, she knew who it was before she even stepped forward to open it.  She'd anticipated him coming back, half dreading it and wanting it with equal ferocity.  Last night had been a mistake, one that she didn't dare repeat.  Sleeping with Connor—no, having sex with Connor—it never should have happened.  And as much as she wanted it, she couldn't let it happen again.

Yet here he stood outside her room again.  She thought about the previous night she'd spent with him, wrapped in the glow of sexual desire and old memories, needing to put the traumatic events of the day behind her and reaffirm that she was alive, and that something good still existed in their world.  They'd agreed it was to be one night.  A night to get past the sexual longing and frustration escalating to a fevered pitch ever since this damned trip started.

One night—then he'd be home in New Orleans and she'd go back to Boca.  They'd get on with their lives—apart.  One night—that somehow escalated into two.  Filled with raw unbridled passion that stole her breath with every memory of his touch.  Bold as brass, he stormed into her life, overwhelmed her senses, and overrode all the arguments she'd worked up to keep him at arms length.  A single touch seemed to spark, electricity arcing between them, strong enough to power the entire state of Louisiana.

Will the day ever come when I don't want him with every fiber of my being?

His gaze burned her like a lick of flame, desire snaking across her skin in a physical caress.  A deep yearning ache for his touch engulfed her.  The tip of her tongue swept across her bottom lip, her eyes devoured the man she'd shared so much of her life with.  The whisper of hope in her heart pulsed awake at the realization that he wanted her too.  She craved the feel of his touch against her skin, wanted to drown in the reawakened needs he alone evoked.

Want him.

Need him.

Love him
.

No, I can't think like that.  It's not possible that he still loves me—not anymore.  And I can't love him.  He's hurt me too much.  The love we shared crashed and burned, killed by infidelity and betrayal
.  But the overwhelming hunger to feel his skin against hers one more time overwhelmed any logic her brain came up with to stop.

Connor took two steps forward until he was so close the warmth of his body encompassed hers, though only a whisper of space separated them—they hadn't physically touched.  Not yet.

One hand lifted and his fingers threaded through her hair, tucking one lock behind her ear.

“Lyssa, I missed you today.”  Connor's whispered words were both a balm to her parched soul and a dagger to her heart.  They evoked a yearning deep within her only he would ever been able to fill.

“Connor, I told you we can't . . .”

He placed the tip of his finger against her lips, trapping her words before running his thumb across her bottom lip, his touch feather light, the gentlest touch.  Without thinking about it, her eyes drifted closed and she inhaled his scent, familiar and seductive.  Not cologne or fancy body sprays.  His smell was wholly masculine, earthy, and all Connor.

“Just tonight, Lyssa.”  Her eyes snapped open, locking her gaze with his at the words she'd used the previous night to justify giving in to her desire.  Shock rocketed through her at his suggestion.  Another night together?  Did she dare? 

Work-roughened hands cradled her cheeks as he continued.  “No promises.  No expectations—other than my giving you more pleasure than you can handle.”

Leaning into her, Connor whispered more promises in her ear before trailing long wet kisses along the nape of her neck, and she folded into his embrace.  Tingles raced through her at his touch, nipples tightening, peaked evidence of her desire, as heat pooled lower.  Brushing aside her hair, he trailed a line of kisses along the shoulder exposed by the loose cowl neck of her sweater.

“I . . . only tonight.  Tomorrow everything goes back the way it was.  I mean . . .”  Her words trailed off when Connor's lips captured hers in a mind-numbing kiss.  Coaxing then demanding, his mouth branded hers with fiery possession.  His tongue swept inside, taking command, leaving no question of his mastery.  Her lips dueled with his, and she gave in, freeing all the pent-up desire burning within her since their divorce.

There had never been another man for her since the day she'd met Connor.  Nobody stirred her blood, fueled the passion deep within her with a single touch the way he could.  Memories were all she had left.  Tonight she'd add a few more memories, hoarding them to replay when things became too much to bear alone.

Breaking free of their kiss, his hand swept down her body, gripped the bottom of her sweater and whisked it off over her head.  She stood clad only in a red camisole trimmed with black lace and sparkling sequins scattered across the top.  Lust and something more filled his eyes, but Alyssa didn't analyze it, didn't want to think about anything but the way he made her feel—and the many things she intended to do.  She was bound and determined he'd remember this night, their last night together.

“So very beautiful, my love.”  Tracing the back of his hand across the mound of her breast, Alyssa bit back a keening sound at his touch.  The red camisole barely contained her generous curves and she thanked heaven it was one of her sexier ones, though she hadn't planned on anybody seeing it.  At least she hadn't consciously planned this . . . had she?

“Just tonight.”  The litany repeated in her head and she whispered the words aloud, again reinforcing the promise to them both.

“Touch me, love.  I need to feel your hands on my skin.”

At his whispered words, Alyssa's tore at Connor's sweater, clumsy in her haste.  She couldn’t wait to feel him under her hands.  Her ideal of male perfection, sculpted muscles exposed to her sight, as inch by inch she dragged his sweater off.  Connor worked hard and his job kept him in top physical shape.  They'd worked out together before the divorce, a vigorous regimen of daily exercises.  Though no slouch, she'd never been as fanatical about it as he'd been.  Yet those hours of working out paid dividends in a body worthy of immortalization by the greatest artist.

Leaning forward, she moved into his embrace, kissing him, nipping at his lips with teeth and tongue, sliding deeper into the drugging sensation garnered from his response.  Her tongue tangled with his in an erotic dance they'd practiced well during their marriage, familiarity stealing into her senses.  She broke away, a moan escaping as her head fell forward onto his bare shoulder, her breaths coming fast and rough.

Connor's hands slipped beneath the edge of the cami, slid the thin lace straps holding it in place down over her shoulders, and peeled the stretchy fabric and lace concoction higher.  Both arms lifted free of the straps, and he grabbed the lace-edged bottom, tugging it upward.  He whisked it up and off, tossing it aside before he stared at her naked breasts.

“Keep them up.”  His whispered command stopped her in the process of lowering her arms.  With a ragged indrawn breath, she complied, keeping her arms raised high above her.  Stretched like this, her breasts stood firm and proud.  Her nipples hardened into pale pink points, the areolas puckered in the cool room.  The cold wasn't the only thing causing them to harden.  She craved his touch, wanting his hands and his mouth on her.

“Please, Connor.”

“I know, baby.  It's just you are so damn beautiful you make me ache.” 

Alyssa bit back her moan as Connor's tongue laved across her breast, circling the peaked tip.

“Your breasts are perfect.  I love how they taste.”  He dipped his head.  Alyssa tried to twist away but couldn't escape the hot mouth focused solely on her pleasure.  His hand spread across her stomach, holding her squirming body while he sucked and licked at the hardening peak.  Alyssa felt the pull all the way to her clit.  Each stroke, each tug shot a myriad of sensations straight to her core.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she bit her lip to hold back another moan.  Connor pulled his mouth free of her breast, to scoot down her body.  His hands clasped her hips, and Alyssa's knees threatened to buckle.

Connor guided her until the back of her knees touched the mattress.  With gentle hands, he guided her onto her back, changing position to step between her thighs, spreading them apart.

Their gazes locked.  “I don't want to hurt you.”

Alyssa's heart squeezed at his words, the anguish in his eyes.  Physically he'd never hurt her, not the entire time they'd been married.  Emotionally, she didn’t think she could take another blow to her heart.

“You won't hurt me.” 
I can't let you
.

Alyssa knew he meant to seduce her, and dammit, she thought, he could do it.  Her body was already so turned on she'd probably explode the second he entered her.  She saw the raw desire in his intense gaze, locked with hers.  Alyssa knew she was in a losing battle.  She'd come to know that particular look well.  He wanted her.

He sighed as his hands slid up and up.  Fingers splayed across her stomach, reaching ever upward to cup her breasts.  His thumbs slid across the distended nipples, tweaking and pulling, pinching nearly to the point of pain.  He knew exactly when it became too much and slowed, her gasping breaths filling the air.

“Your body wants to resist, but it knows who it belongs to.  My body only craves yours, my love.  Just as yours craves mine.”

Alyssa balked at his words. 
Pretty little lies,
her mind whispered.  You've heard it all before.  She clenched her teeth.  “Damn it, Connor, don't say that.  One night, remember?  No strings, no promises.”

She squeezed her eyes shut.  Knew he was watching her.  If he saw her eyes, he'd see her words for the lie they were.  She wanted more . . . wanted forever with him.  But one night was all her battered heart could withstand.

He ran his thumbs over the swollen outer lips of her vagina, spreading her wider.  She felt the trembling in his hands.  It shocked her that his hands shook.

“You are so beautiful, Alyssa.  So soft, and pink, and perfect.”  She clenched her teeth together harder as his finger explored her slit.  He slid his fingers higher, and Alyssa sucked in air, trying to catch her breath.  Her eyes flew open at his chuckle.

Try as she might, she couldn't ignore the building sensations.  It felt too good.  Less than twenty-four hours without his touch and her body craved it again.  Her clit throbbed for the attention it had been denied.  She didn't mean to move against his finger, but he increased the pressure and her hips bucked.

He slid a finger slowly inside her, testing her.  His soft growl echoed deep and low.

“You have no idea how beautiful your responsiveness is.  Touching you is like my homecoming, Alyssa.”  He withdrew his finger before he gently inserted two, easing them inside.  She bit her lip hard, fighting the moan that wanted to tear from her throat at his fingers slowly stretching her.  With his other hand he rubbed and circled her aching clit.

Her hips bucked against his hand when his fingers pressed upward until he found the area inside her that made stars explode.  Her inner muscles squeezed his moving fingers.  Rubbing faster at her clit, the fingers inside her plunged deeper.  She gasped, inching closer and closer to coming.

“Tell me you want me, Lyssa.”

Alyssa head thrashed against the bedspread.  No, she couldn't admit it.

“There's no shame in wanting me.  I want you just as much.”

He eased his fingers out, leaving Alyssa limp on the bed.  She breathed heavily, her body aching and throbbing with need.  Connor stretched over her, his hands planted on each side of her shoulders.  Their eyes locked.

“I need you.”  Her whispered words sent a tremor rolling through Connor's body, and she felt his shudder as he braced one hand against the bed beside her hip.

He pulled back and she arched upward.  Breathing deeply, a ragged inhalation of air, she couldn't prevent the gasp as Connor's two large hands slid under her.  She watched in shock as he sat on the bed, lifting her to straddle his lap.  Holding her backside inches from the mattress, he slid his legs beneath her bent ones and scooted closer.  His rock hard erection pressed against her heated core.

His eyes met hers.  With a rolling movement of his hips, he eased into her.  His thick member pressed into her slowly, making her feel like heaven as her body stretched to accept his thickness, every inch of him.  Moving forward against her inner thighs, he was buried deep within her before he froze there.  He released his grip on her, trailing his hands up over her stomach once again, moving them up to play with her breasts.

A moan tore through Alyssa.  His slow slide into her body brushed against her distended clit with each forward stroke.  The sensation of him deep within, the dual assault of him buried within her and the pinching, pulling of her nipples was too much.  She gave up fighting.  This was a battle she didn’t want to win.

Her hips bucked against him.  The man knew how to make her scream; he played her body like a virtuoso.  Connor growled her name as he rocked into her, his pelvis bumping against her clit.  That was all it took.  With a scream, Alyssa buried her face against Connor's neck, as wave after wave of climax hit her.  Connor roared as her inner muscles slammed tight around him.  Their bodies trembled, locked together where they were joined, and they rode out the pleasure.

Alyssa panted as hot tears burned behind her eyelids, which she kept shut.  She wanted to shout her love, her forgiveness but could not.  He'd lied to her.  Broken every bond of trust they'd established.

Connor slowly withdrew from her, and she rolled onto her side, facing away.  With loving care, he lifted her, settling her onto the bed before he stretched out next to her.  Long seconds passed.  Connor suddenly grabbed her, yanking her into his arms and tight against him.  Alyssa's eyes snapped open as she turned her head to stare at the man who held her pressed against his rock hard body.