Conquered: She Who Dares Book Two (6 page)

“Lighten up Mole.” George snorts.

She ignores him. “I just don’t want to see you go off the deep end because of him. You should actually talk to him. It might change some things.” She says softly.

“I’m not going off the deep end, I’m fine.” I declare. “And I am definitely not talking to him.” I scoff. “We hate him.”

George nods. “We hate him.”

“Mature.” She mutters as she rolls her eyes. “Lilly, you need to talk to him. He made a mistake, but he loves you.” She presses her lips together. “And you love him. You guys have something that you don’t find every day. Is it worth throwing away over one mistake?” She has a quietness about her as though she’s waiting for a bomb to go off. I have a feeling the bomb is me.

“Pretty fucking big mistake.” Is my sharp response. “I’m done.”

Molly knows me, and she knows that once burned…well, you can well and truly fuck off.

“Okay, okay. Fine. I tried.” She mutters. “I’m sick of the pair of you. All you do is just bury your heads at the bottom of a glass.”

“Firstly, this is the first drink I’ve had throughout this shit. Which I’d like to add, the arsehole himself sent me.” She eyes the empty bottle of champagne. “Secondly, do not compare me to that…that slut. Thirdly…you’ve been talking to him?!” A small stab of betrayal hits me. It must read on my face because George squeezes my arm in reassurance.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’ve seen him a couple of times with Hugo. That’s all. He’s permanently trashed from what I can gather anyway.”

“I know. I’ve seen the papers. Old habits die hard apparently.” I mumble.

“It’s not like that. If you just…” I hold my hand up stopping her.

“I don’t want to talk about him.”

She frowns at me and presses her lips together. I can tell she wants to argue with me, but she won’t. “Fine. You two seem determined to destroy each other. See you in the morning.” She turns and heads off to her room.

I huff. “Since when do her loyalties lay with Theodore fucking Ellis?”

George shrugs. “Probably since she’s fucking his best friend. Don’t forget, Hugo is always with Theo. Not that I think she’s going to the dark side, but you know how Molly is. She likes to take pity on broken things. He’s probably been all ‘Lilly won’t talk to me.’” I feel a slight stab of jealousy at the thought of Molly spending time with him. Then I decide to be angry again. She should hate him. I won’t pretend that these are entirely rational thoughts, because I tend to get bitchy when I drink wine, but I don’t think I’m being ridiculous here.

“Great.” Is my only response.

George laughs and then pulls me back down against his chest. “I was comfy.” He mumbles.

I snuggle against him, inhaling his familiar scent, fresh and woodsy. Safe.

I smile. I really wish, and definitely not for the first time, that George were straight. He would be my perfect man.
If only
I think to myself. Alas, the boys get George, and I get left with all the bastards. Still, I get the best friend a girl could ask for. George is that person…you know, the one who would hide all my sex toys if I died. We all need one of those.

I’m sat at my desk in my new office typing up a deal for the Wyatt buyout when my mobile phone rings. I glance down at the screen as it flashes with ‘Wanker’. I smile at the same time as my heart clenches. I told George about the fact that Theo has called me five times a day for the last week, ever since I left him standing in the courthouse car park surrounded by press, with that wounded animal look on his face. George changed his details in my phone book and said that at least when he calls it will make me smile, even if it is for the wrong reasons. We hate him. I press reject. This is the third time he’s called me today. I can’t help but picture that hurt look on his face as I walked away from him. I hate that I care. He deserves to be hurt. He deserves everything that comes his way. Fucking arsehole. In case you haven’t guessed, I’m in the anger faze of the break up, and I much prefer this to last week’s snivelling, crying mess. I never thought I would cry over a guy. Turns out I’ve cried more in one day over this guy than I have in my entire life, and when you’ve had a life like mine, that’s pretty damn pathetic let me tell you. Yeah, anger is a familiar and welcome friend right now. I embrace it with open arms, even if it does turn me into a psycho. Besides, I’m a redhead. I can totally get away with it.

These phone calls are starting to grate though. I thought I made myself pretty damn clear at the courthouse, but Theo being Theo needs it driven home with a bloody sledge hammer before he’ll listen. No, not even then. I don’t know why he can’t just leave me alone. He ripped down my walls, only to hit me where it hurts and leave me bleeding. Surely that’s enough for one person? I still love him, but I can’t be around him. I’ll admit that I’m far too invested in him to be friends with him. I could never watch him with another woman. I would never admit it but I think it might kill me. I just want a clean break from him. I want to pretend he never happened. Seeing him at the courthouse just ripped a fresh scab off a wound. I will never heal whilst he insists on trying to make amends. Why can he not see how broken this is? There is no putting this back together. There is no situation in which we get a happily ever after here. What we had was too strong. What happened was too monumental to get past. Even in my irrational post break-up state I can see that he didn’t necessarily wrong me, but some things are too big of an ask. The idea of him with another woman’s child makes me feel sick. It makes my chest ache, and my throat burn. No, his actions weren’t wrong, but all actions have consequences, and I can’t deal with this particular consequence.

The office phone rings, breaking my thoughts.

“Florell and Simmons. Lilly Parker speaking.”

“Lilly.” For fuck’s sake. His voice is deep and husky. It sends shivers up my spine, but it also makes my chest clench painfully. On a knee jerk reaction I slam the phone down as if it’s burned me. I clutch at my chest. Fuck him. Fuck him for doing this to me. Fuck him for catching me by surprise. I wasn’t ready for that. It’s like being punched in the stomach before you’ve had a chance to tense. I take a few deep breaths and the tightness slowly subsides. Jesus, I need to get a grip of myself. Find the anger, find the anger. This is ridiculous. Three weeks away from him should have rendered me immune, surely. Oh, who am I kidding? I think it’s made it worse. I crave him, like the drug that he is to me. I love him, and that’s why this hurts so much. Relationships are just a shit storm waiting to happen, because you start to get hurt the moment you start to care. I need him to stop, so that these feelings can dissipate.

The office phone rings again, but I don’t pick it up. I know that’s bad, and I shouldn’t be letting this affect me at work, but I just can’t deal with him. He’s a sneaky fucking bastard for calling me at work. Well, if he thinks I’ll be obliged to pick up just because he calls the office then he can think again. Wanker.

At five o’clock I go and get changed in the ladies, so I can meet George for dinner before his show. Today has been shit, and I’d love to just go home and curl up on the sofa in the fetal position, like the social reject I’ve become. Pity party for one please - Yeah, I’m back to mopey and depressing instead of angry and crazy. I have no control over my emotions- Alas, I said I would go to Georges show, and I really do want to see it. If he could just bring it to the sofa, that would be great. I change out of my trouser suit and into a knee length fitted dress. I slip my nude heels back on and apply a fresh coat of lip gloss. My hair is particularly unruly today, so I dig a couple of hair grips out of the abyss that is my hand bag and pin it half up. I think about the break up ‘phases’ as explained to me by Donnie of all people, poor guy. I’ve had the sadness and the anger. Well, as I glance at my reflection, I think that if there’s a phase of just not giving a fuck what you look like, I’m there. In fact, just not giving a fuck altogether.

I go back to my office and lock my bag in my bottom draw before heading to the lift. I text George to say I’m on my way. The lift door pings as I’m still looking at my phone. I step forward and into a hard body.

“Oh god, I’m sorry.” I splutter as I dazedly step away from the wall of a man in front of me. My eyes run up an expensive suit clad body, and over a strong stubble covered jaw until I’m looking into stormy grey eyes. There’s something familiar about his features, but I can’t place him.

“That’s okay.” He smiles as his hands stay where he’d placed them on my shoulders to steady me. I slip out of his grip and step away from the hulk of a stranger. He’s handsome in that rugged, effortless way. His eyes are intense as they watch me step away from him. I offer a small smile before I step out of the lift, only to find Theo and Mr Simmons stood a few feet away from me. I sigh and tilt my head up to the ceiling for a second.
Seriously, can someone just cut me a break?
Theo has that usual heir that says he owns everyone and everything, including me. Prick. He looks good, really good. He’s wearing dark grey trousers cut perfectly to fit his narrow hips. His shirt is a lighter grey, open at the collar, no tie of course. The material stretches across his defined shoulders and chest. His eyes follow my every move as I take a step forward. He studies me like a predator watching a wounded gazelle, and it makes my hackles rise. I meet his gaze boldly, because if there’s one thing I’ve always done, its challenge him. His eyes bare into me, leaving me feeling stripped naked. His sensuous lips pull into a hint of a smile. Fucking hell he’s gorgeous. For once though, my body doesn’t tremble and heat at the sight of that small smile. My pitiful heart pines for him, locked in a bone deep, soul wrenching sadness that makes me feel empty and cold.

Despite what I tell myself…and everyone around me…I don’t hate him, but I definitely want to, so much. It would make this whole break up thing a lot easier. The heart wants what the heart wants though, and if there’s one thing I now know, it’s that rational thought often goes to shit where love is concerned.

For the first time in my life it seems like running would be the easier option than fighting, because you can’t fight someone you love. Why did I let myself fall in love with him?! Stupid, stupid, stupid. This is why I don’t want to see him, this is why I need him to leave me alone, because when he’s near me the pain feels like lead in my veins, dragging me down and choking me until I’m crippled under the weight of it.

“Lilly.” Mr. Simmons greets me. “You look very nice.” He smiles kindly. He has that grandfather thing going on, where everything he says is very gently spoken. I know he’s probably not like this with everyone, or he wouldn’t be where he is. I’ll take it though.

“Thank you.” I reply, keeping my eyes on the marble floor of the foyer, hoping I can slip by Theo without any altercation.

“Ah, so you are here today Miss Parker.” I’m forced to look at him, or I’ll look rude in front of my boss. Theo smiles smugly. There’s something different about him today. Gone is the beaten down guy that I saw in the courthouse, tiptoeing around me and begging for my forgiveness. This is the Theo I know, cocky, infuriating and determined. Oddly, I find it easier to deal with. This Theo I know how to handle. The one who looks at me like I’m the very air he breathes…he scares the shit out of me. Maybe he’s over me. That thought hurts more than it should. I narrow my eyes at him as I stare him down. “I tried to get hold of you earlier to book an appointment, but I couldn’t get through.” Fucking arsehole.

“Oh, I’m sure Miss Parker can spare some time for you Mr Ellis.” Mr Simmons looks at me expectantly.

“I’m sorry Mr. Ellis. I’m extremely busy over the next week with a big deal.” I look pointedly at Simmons.

“Well, I’m sure you can squeeze me in Miss Parker. I have a very lucrative business deal I need your expertise for. You proved to be very proficient in your work on our last project.” His stare is intense as he locks those sapphire eyes onto mine. I see in his eyes something that is synonymous with Theodore Ellis, gritty, unfaltering determination. I see a man who takes what he wants shamelessly. He’s going after me the only way he knows how. What Theo wants Theo gets, and what he wants is me…again. It may have worked once, but it won’t work again. He can get fucked.

Mr. Simmons seems totally oblivious to the stand-off taking place. “Miss Parker will call you tomorrow to arrange.” He says. Jesus, does this guy not read the papers? Just hand me the bloody noose why don’t you?

“Great. I look forward to it.” He smiles wryly. I scowl back at him before I turn and walk away from the lift.

I let out an exasperated sigh as I feel warm fingers wrap around my arm, halting me. I don’t turn around, refusing to face him. My arm tingles under his touch, my body longing for him. Damn it. I have to focus on why I should hate him.
He’s a cock. He’s a cock.
I recite in the hopes that it will curb his infectiously magnetic pull. He leans in and whispers in my ear, his breath touching my neck. “I look forward to our meeting Lilly. We have a lot to discuss.”

I turn and look over my shoulder at him. I keep my voice low so my boss can’t hear me. “We have nothing to discuss, other than your turning into a fucking stalker. You should get some help with that.” I smirk. I’m pulling on every acting class I’ve ever taken right now in an attempt to appear nonchalant. I’m anything but.

He smiles. “What can I say, you drive me crazy. You always have.” He moves to stand in front of me as Simmons moves away to talk to the stranger who is still holding the lift.

“You drive me crazy, but it’s the kind of crazy that makes me want to stab you.” Another fake smile.

“I love it when you get feisty sugar.” His eyes flick down my body, which despite being covered from neck to knee, is feeling very exposed as his eyes rake my tight dress. He smirks and leans in closer. “Horrible things Lilly.” Seriously?! His voice is strained and rough. I shiver involuntarily as his breath touches my lips. He laughs lightly. Ugh, dick.