Conscience (The Bellator Saga Book 2) (28 page)

He started to let her hair down. “You’re going to pay for that little trick a minute ago.”

“You said you liked it when I was aggressive.”

“I didn’t tell you to tie me to the bed.”

“It was implied.”

He moved his hands down to squeeze both buttocks simultaneously. A move she expected, but it still made her wince. “You only did it because I haven’t swatted your ass in ages.”

She closed her eyes. Their near constant travel and frequent separation during the last two months of the campaign had taken its toll in more ways than one. “It
has
been a while.”

“You don’t have to piss me off in order to get it.” He kissed her neck. “You can always just ask nicely.”

She grinned. “It’s more fun to be bad.”

“You might be sporting some painful bruises tomorrow.”

Caroline enjoyed those physical reminders of their more intense nights together. And he was exaggerating. He never left more than light marks, even if they did sting a little. “I don’t care.”

“We’re touring that parochial school in Harrisburg.”

They’d decided not to waste any time when it came to making that trip. Too much to do before his inauguration. “So?”

“
So
, you’re going to be focusing on how much your ass hurts instead of making wise decisions about our children and their educational future.”

Caroline adjusted herself on his lap. “We could go to confession while we’re there. It would be a great introduction to the parish priest.”

Jack laughed. “Bite your tongue, woman.”

“We could do it jointly. Maybe we could give him a heart attack.”

“We’d have to pick another school. Harrisburg is small.”

“I could homeschool. I have all these books, see, and they’re all about liberal philosophers and economists, and-”

“Get over my knee right now.”

Caroline looked down at his cock, still resplendent and erect. “Are you sure? That might be painful.”

He was pondering that possibility, she could tell. Thinking of some wicked way to tip the scales in his favor. To improve the game. “Bend over the edge of the bed,” he said softly.

She ran her fingers through his hair. “Yes, sir.” Then, because she was still feeling cheeky, she added, “
Mr. Governor
.”

That sent a rush of
something
to his cock, and she laughed as she scrambled off his lap. “Someone gets turned on when he hears his new job title.”

“That earned you a few more slaps on the ass,” Jack said.

She leaned over the side of the bed. “What else can I do to earn some more?”

Jack crouched down to whisper in her ear. “Call me Mr. Governor while I’m getting you off.”

“You’re a sick puppy.”

“No, I’m not. It’s hot as all hell when you say it.” He smacked her ass, hard. “I bet I can get you to say it again.”

She’d happily accept that challenge. He swatted her again, too many times to count, and her knees started to buckle. He lifted her onto the bed and slid a finger inside her. An unexpected move.

“What-”

Jack shushed her. “Let me do this.” He chuckled softly. “Baby, you’re so damn wet. Spanking really does a number on you.”

He slid the finger out and started rubbing her clit. As she started to moan, he smacked her ass again, refusing to let up. Tease her clit, spank her ass. Tease her clit, spank her ass. It took him a minute to get his timing down, but after that it didn’t take long; the combination of pain and pleasure soon sent her over the edge, and she screamed his name into the sheets, with wave after wave of heated pleasure scorching her body until she was hoarse and spent. She lifted her head up as he flopped down next to her and swept the hair out of her eyes.

He couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

As if he couldn’t figure it out. She could barely speak. “How the hell did you do that?”

“You get so fucking close when I’m slapping your ass that I figured it was worth a try. It was a lot easier when you weren’t falling off the bed.”

Caroline tried to catch her breath. She hadn’t come that hard in a long time. “Can you do that again?”

Jack kissed her. “Maybe later.”

“Pretty please?”

“We’ll see.”

“What if I call you Mr. Governor?”

“Then all signs point to yes.” He caressed her now reddened backside. “Ready for something else?”

She shifted on the bed, grabbing a pillow and tugging it under her chin. “What did you have in mind?”

“I brought a few…supplies along.”

That could only mean one thing. “You’re the most considerate husband in the world.”

He went over to his suitcase and started rummaging around. “I learned my lesson from our trip to Beverly Hills. Never come unprepared, and never turn down anal sex.”

“Smart man.”

“You sure you’re up for it?”

Caroline was tempted to tell him that she was always up for it, but if she said that, she’d probably never get sweet missionary style sex again. “Absolutely.”

Jack came back to the bed with a condom and lube. The condom meant he wanted to fuck more than once without leaving the bed. Good to know. She had a feeling he wasn’t going to let her sleep tonight.

“I want to make you come first,” he whispered.

“You already did that.”

“It’s been a few minutes. You deserve another one.”

“Far be it for me to argue with that logic,” Caroline said, rolling over on her side.

He settled in next to her and kissed her lips. “Tell me what you want.”

She reached over to grab his hand. “This’ll work.”

He laughed as she guided it in between her thighs. “You don’t waste any time.”

“Was I supposed to play hard to get? I just let you spank my ass.”

“Coy and coquettish might have been a nice change of pace.”

“Coquettish. Nice word usage.” She stroked his wrist, directing him further down. “Stop showing off your well-endowed vocabulary and finger fuck me.”

“Why do you always pick my right hand? Does the left not suit your fancy?”

He was good with both, but she had her reasons. “Your right hand is bigger,” she whispered. “You can do more with it.”

His eyes widened. “Good god, woman.”

“You liked that? I’m just being honest.”

He wasted no time, slipping two fingers inside her, his thumb at her clit. “I love when you let me inside your dirty mind. And inside other places. Where else do I get to go tonight?”

“Anywhere you want,” she said.

He twisted his fingers toward her g-spot. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

Caroline decided not to speak after that. She was much more partial to watching his eyes as he worked his fingers in and out of her. Seeing his lips curl up as she moaned. Leaning in for a kiss as she came again. God, he was beautiful.

“You’re pretty when you come,” he whispered.

She rolled over on her back. “You’re prettier when you’re fucking me.”

“I can take a hint.” He sat up, giving her a solemn look. “I’m going to claim your ass now, Caroline.”

She started laughing, awash in the glow of post-orgasmic bliss. “Really, Jack?”

“I thought you liked dirty talk.”

“That sounds so….” She was going to say it sounded awfully familiar, then narrowed her eyes as he laughed. “Have you-?”

“You shouldn’t have left your Kindle out in the open like that. Anyone could see what’s on it.”

She smacked his arm. She would have to set a password to keep his nosy eyes off of it. “Stop reading my smut.”

He was trying not to laugh when he spoke again. “I’m going to take your anal virginity, baby.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re about ten years too late. That train has already left the station.”

“I want you plugged,” he proclaimed. “Plugged for my pleasure.”

That sent her into a fit of giggles, made even worse when he started tickling her. “Dear Lord, please stop. Which book did you read?”

“I’m not telling.” Jack rolled her on her stomach, still smiling, and lowered his voice an octave. “I’m going to claim your ass now,” he repeated.

As if he hadn’t done that countless times over the course of their relationship. “Just fuck me already.”

His yawn was a tad too dramatic. “If you insist.”

Caroline heard the snap of a bottle top. Finally. “Stop toying with me.”

He spread a generous amount of lube over her ass crack. “You love it.”

She got on her hands and knees, moaning as he worked a finger inside her. “Every minute of every day,” she gasped.

“That feel good?”

It felt so good she could barely stand it. She was relaxed enough that she didn’t need more than a minute or two of preparation. “Please, Jack. I need you inside me.”

She heard the unmistakable sound of the condom wrapper ripping. “Anything you say.” He pressed into her slowly, like he always did. He might prefer to be firm and forceful most nights, but when he fucked her this way he always took his time. Not only because it helped him last longer, but because he’d learned quickly that she enjoyed herself more when he gave her time to accommodate his size. She pushed back and soon he was completely inside her.

He bent over to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Still feel good?”

There were no words. Why did people get so hung up on anal sex? Done properly, it was one of the most deliciously forbidden sensations in the world. And if it felt that good for her, she could only imagine what it felt like for Jack. She nodded her head up and down.

Jack grunted as he slid in and out of her. “So tight,” he said. “So good.”

Caroline lifted herself off the pillow she’d been grasping, locking her elbows. She turned to look at him. His hair was disheveled, and he had a look of intense concentration on his face. When he saw her looking at him, he reached over to tug at her hair, smiling when she grabbed his hand and pulled it to her throat. He tightened one hand around her neck, the other at her hip.

He wasn’t cutting off her breath; neither one of them was into that. He loved the control and she loved the feeling of helplessness, of being entirely at his mercy. Knowing that he would never, ever harm her. He buried his nose in her hair, mumbling random endearments as he worked, until he stiffened and came inside her with a string of obscenities.

Jack released her from his grip, pulling out to let her relax. He tossed the condom in the garbage and sat back down on the bed. “Roll over,” he said.

She was pretty comfortable, frankly, nestled in between the pillows. It was a big bed. “I don’t want to sleep on my back.”

“You won’t be sleeping.” He nudged her over and settled in between her thighs.

Again? He’d been crisscrossing the state for the past week. She couldn’t figure out how he hadn’t collapsed from exhaustion yet. And even though she figured sleep would be at a premium, she did need to rest in between orgasms. “I’m tired, Monty.”

“Never too tired for this.” He leaned in to kiss her clit.

If he wasn’t one to turn down anal, she sure as hell wouldn’t decline an offer for oral. She spread her legs wider. “I can probably stay awake a little longer.”

He pulled his head up when he was finished. Her legs were still shaking. It had taken longer than usual but she’d already come twice already.

“You didn’t have to feel obligated to do that,” Caroline said. “I enjoy when you fuck my ass almost as much as you do.”

“I love to eat your pussy. I’d do it every night if you’d let me.”

“You do it almost every night anyway.”

“We can ramp up the schedule.”

“You’re about to become a very busy man. Can you stick to that promise?”

He kissed his way up to her lips. “I intend to keep all my promises to you.”

She pulled him on top of her again, her fatigue fading. They didn’t need to sleep. Not yet. “I know.”

The Fed

Caroline woke up with a start.  She had to stop dreaming about those things. They once gave her comfort but now the memories cut her like a knife when she thought about where she was now. She wanted desperately to hold on to anything that still gave her hope but why did she have to keep thinking of Jack? Election Night. That had been more than just fucking. But almost everything they did had been more than sex.

None of that mattered. Not now. Now all she did was look back, because she had nothing ahead of her.

Ellie had begged to stay in Caroline’s cell when they came in to take her away. Caroline didn’t have the heart to speak. Her words would have done no good, and Ellen’s pleas only seemed to spur the guards on, and they laughed their way through the door. It took Caroline a long time to plunge into sleep after that, as it always did. She never knew how long it lasted. Half the time she’d wake up crying after remembering something particularly emotional. Especially if it involved her children. She hated dreaming about Mo and Feef.

Whatever sleep she had, it was never enough, her mind suffering from permanent fatigue. The combination of very little water, no food, and no proper rest had rendered her incapable of functioning properly.

Caroline heard voices in the hallway. She assumed it was morning but since she didn’t really have a clock nearby she could have been wrong. She steeled herself for another day.

I am strong. I am invincible. I am –

The lights flickered on. She ran a hand over her head. Her hair was such a mess that it wasn’t even worth trying to get any of her working fingers through it. She composed herself before the guards came in, struggling to sit up on the bed.

All the feminist anthems in the world aren’t gonna get you through this shit, Gerard. Think of something useful.

Fischer shoved through the door, smiling at her. “Just wanted to make sure you were awake.” He whirled around and locked her in again.

What the hell was that for?

She heard another clicking noise, the sound of another cell door opening. Then a familiar female voice. Ellen. In the cell next to Caroline.

Why didn’t I know that?

Ellen’s cell door slammed, a jarring noise that made Caroline wince. There were numerous guards in there with her. A number of voices. Was Fischer one of them? Powell? The other guards who never spoke to her but sneered when they saw her in the hallway or peeked through the door?

Then she heard the thumping, followed by Ellen screaming. Incoherent, rambling cries. She couldn’t make out the words. Were they questioning her? Seemed peculiar that they hadn’t taken her to an interrogation room. But maybe they’d dispensed with any pretense when it came to their methods.

Be quiet, Ellie. Calm down.

She pressed her hand to the wall. The pain was a secondary concern. She knew damn well Ellen couldn’t feel her presence, but that didn’t stop her from reaching out. Caroline couldn’t understand what the guards were saying, but she knew the tone. She knew their routine. Ellen hadn’t been there long, and she was vulnerable in ways that Caroline wasn’t. Caroline knew what they were telling her…threatening her, her family, her friends. Her life.

Don’t give them what they want. Don’t give in.

“Ellie, please,” she whispered, resting her forehead against the concrete.

The guards’ voices were coarse, caustic, and perhaps most disturbingly, excited. She knew something would have to give soon. Maybe they’d rough her up a little and be done. Try again. Come back later for what they wanted. That was their routine, right? But she felt the distress in Ellen’s voice. The terror. The tears. She could recognize it all, even muffled by the wall. It all happened so quickly that it was over before it began.

She heard the gunshot. Ellen was silent.

Caroline was not.

*              *              *              *              *

She screamed for hours, it seemed. Her voice was almost gone. She wailed long after Ellen’s cell door opened and slammed again, after the guards laughed their way down the hall, after hearing the scraping noise that sounded like they were hauling something away.

Or someone.

As if all her yelling would bring Ellen back. None of Caroline’s pounding on the wall, shouting at the top of her lungs, or bawling into her shirt would help her block out what had happened.

Murdock smiled when he came into Caroline’s cell later that day. “My deepest apologies,” he said. “Senator Goldman won’t be joining you again. She sends her regrets.”

“You’re an asshole,” Caroline said.

“Such cultured phrasing. I expected more. I gave you so much time to think of something clever, and that’s the best you can do?”

“Give me a chance, I’ll use stronger language.”

He laughed. “Give
me
a chance, I’ll break more bones.”

That slowed her down. But not much. “One day you’ll pay for everything you’ve done. I hope you know that.”

“Feeling pretty good about myself, to be honest,” Murdock said. “Boss is proud of my work.”

“I’m sure he is. Are you angling for a better spot in his administration? Something a step or two above lackey?”

His smile faded. Perhaps she’d touched a nerve. “My efforts will not go unrecognized.”

“My mistake. You must be seeking a position more suited to a sycophant or toady.”

“You’re in quite a bitter mood today. Suffer a recent loss?”

If only she had the energy to rip his smug little face off. “Fuck you.”

“Should I pass that message on to the president the next time I see him?”

“You don’t have a standing invitation to the Oval Office yet? For shame.”

Murdock lurched toward her, laughing when she flinched. “You’re fading, Gerard. Too bad.” He stepped back toward the door. “I’ll be nice today. No questioning. You can thank me later.”

“Suck my dick.”

He laughed again as he left.

*              *              *              *              *

They left her in the dark again. What did her file look like? They had to have a file on her. Even the most horrific of interrogators would take notes. Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Franco…all of them documented all sorts of crazy shit. Absolute, unchecked power was almost always accompanied by a cartoonishly fiendish need to record every last detail of events. And she was sure that her file included her fear of the dark. They had to know at this point.

The darkness seemed deeper after they killed Ellen. Caroline could sometimes hear the gunshot echoing, unsure if it was in her mind or if someone somewhere was discharging a handgun. The lights flickered on briefly at times. They occasionally pumped in sound. Continuous gunfire. Screaming. Caroline knew she didn’t imagine
that
. It couldn’t just be in her head. The sounds echoed through her mind, over and over, for hours it seemed. Like a record skipping on a song, bouncing off the four corners of her cell. She covered her ears. It didn’t help. The lights would go off again. She knew they were laughing at her. Everyone was laughing at her. She didn’t need to hear it in order to know.

And the minutes…hours…days passed again. The past, the present…Caroline wasn’t sure what was which. Her thoughts began to blur. She screamed at the walls, clawed at them until her fingernails were as bloody and raw as her wrists. Time stood still yet moved too fast. Her fantasies and hallucinations ran together until she didn’t know what was real.

Jack’s inaugural. Marguerite graduating from grade school, then starting high school. Sophie falling in love with parochial education. It was hard for her to think about her girls. About the time the four of them spent together as they learned to be a family. It hurt too fucking much. She couldn’t control her dreams but she could do her best to guide her few lucid thoughts toward less emotional topics. She tried to move on, felt her eyes drooping, prayed for a restful sleep free of sorrowful memories. Those first two years in Harrisburg passed by like a flash of light, just as she wanted, until she settled on why she was being held in the first place. And who was behind it.