Consequences (36 page)

The girl should not believe she is going to sleep until my curiosity is satisfied!
she thought as her two nieces mounted the stairs.

While Elizabeth was preparing for her bath and two servants brought the bathtub to their bedroom, Jane peppered her with question after question about how everything came about. Jane shook her head with amazement at the responses she received.

“It is so strange, Lizzy. I know you wrote you were making your decision based on prudence, but your reasoning sounds more like something Charlotte would have said than anything I would have expected of you.”

“Because I always said that I was determined not to marry without affection?” asked Elizabeth light-heartedly.

“Mostly,” agreed Jane, “but it dismays me to find you still do not even like the man. I had thought to find your opinion of him had changed.”

“That is true enough, and I do think better of him. But I am still puzzled since there are aspects of his character that directly contradict each other.”

“But you agreed to marry him, Lizzy! Why have you not talked to him about those parts of his character that concern you so?”

“There has been little time for questions, you know. Just one morning and then the coach ride back here. There will be enough time to resolve those matters which concern me, and I am not at all certain it would be best to ask particular questions. The answers might not be at all palatable. Sometimes it is best simply to leave those questions unasked.”

“There you go, again!” Jane exclaimed. “You are sounding more like Charlotte every minute!”

“Charlotte crafted some very good arguments, Jane,” said Elizabeth mildly. She stopped talking while one of the maids brought in a bucket of hot water and poured it into the tub. She and Jane had learned years ago never to discuss private matters in front of the servants. It not only meant secrecy could not be maintained but also tended to cause a loss of respect among the staff. So she waited until the girl left before continuing.

“Charlotte spoke with me for a considerable time before I would even pay attention to what she had to say. But, once I did finally listen to her arguments and considered them carefully, I could not deny the good sense of her points of view.”

“I very much dislike seeing you sacrificing yourself in order to provide security for our mother and sisters,” Jane said fretfully.

“We have both avoided facing the fact that one of us has to marry well or else our family could become completely dependent on relatives who do not have the financial means to support us.”

“There is at least Mama’s fortune of five thousand pounds. That could provide at least some security.”

“Perhaps, and then again, perhaps not, especially if Mr. Collins proved to have a spiteful side to his character,” said Elizabeth grimly.

“Mr. Collins? Why would you say that, Lizzy? Has he done something you have not told me?”

“No,” said Elizabeth in perplexity, her brows knit in concentration. “I do not know why I said it, but it just seems as though I was remembering something . . . Well, no matter. It is gone.”

The maids continued to bring buckets of hot water until Elizabeth was satisfied and dismissed them. Jane could help her bathe and wash her hair, as they so often did at home, and she knew her conversation with Jane was not complete.

“I am so looking forward to this bath,” she sighed, as she removed her robe and settled into the comforting water. “Mr. Darcy’s coach is quite comfortable, but travel is fatiguing, and the water feels wonderful.”

Some minutes were spent while Elizabeth soaped and rinsed herself, and then Jane assisted her in washing her hair.

“And Jane,” Elizabeth said, as her sister poured rinse water over her hair, “there is one argument I have never told anyone else, and it is the argument Charlotte made which affected me greatly and essentially settled my decision even if Mr. Darcy had been an ogre, which I am certain he is not. Since we will soon marry, Mr. Darcy will often associate with Mr. Bingley, who we both know is his closest friend. That will give the two of you opportunities to see each other again, and I am convinced that Mr. Bingley felt, and likely still feels, a real attraction to you. If I had rejected Mr. Darcy and told him of my dislike, as I might well have done, I would have ensured he would never want to see me again. Which would mean you would never see Mr. Bingley again.”

“I would not want you to buy my happiness at the expense of your own, Lizzy, but I cannot understand why you find Mr. Darcy so disagreeable. He has been most friendly and pleasant ever since the day he arrived, bearing your letter to me as well as the surprising news of your engagement. In fact, as I said in my letter, Mr. Darcy has rather charmed the whole household, including the children and even the staff. You saw how my uncle is getting on with him.”

“I did, and that is quite encouraging, Jane. But, if you remember, you told me what Mr. Bingley said, that Mr. Darcy is supposed to be more easy and agreeable with his own circle than he is with the general public. I suppose I should be pleased he is willing to include you and my aunt and uncle in that circle. But I still do not forgive him for the pain he caused you.”

“Pain?” Jane asked in confusion. “What pain has Mr. Darcy caused me?”

“Did I not mention it before? No, it seems I forgot that part. The very day Mr. Darcy made his proposal, I found out it was
he
who was more responsible for separating you from Mr. Bingley than his sisters. From the letter Miss Bingley sent and the way she severed the acquaintance when she visited you, I assumed she and her sister played the major part. But I learned from Mr. Darcy’s own cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, that it was he who saved Mr. Bingley from what he called ‘a most imprudent marriage.’ And, Jane, he was supposed to have done so because there were ‘some very great objections’ to the lady’s family! I suppose having one uncle in business in London and another as a solicitor in Hertfordshire was not sufficient consequence to be connected with the illustrious Bingley name!”

There was silence between the two sisters at this comment as Jane dried Elizabeth’s hair with a towel. Finally, when her task was complete, Jane broke the silence.

“Lizzy,” she said slowly, “even if you are right, I cannot be very angry with Mr. Darcy. I have to reluctantly agree he has a valid point of view about our family, and if that was his reason, then he was only acting on behalf of his friend. From what you told me about the way my mother talked at the ball and the way Lydia and Kitty behaved, I could well understand such a gentleman might recommend against an attachment to our family.”

“Jane!” exclaimed Elizabeth. “You are always too good to see fault in anyone else! Do you not see the arrogance of Mr. Darcy setting himself up to be a judge in that situation? What gave him the right to give such advice to Mr. Bingley?”

“The same right that allows you to take my side, Lizzy,” responded Jane calmly. “He acted as he did because of his love for his friend, just as your love for me makes you take my side. But look at it from his point of view; if ever there were a mother who was trying to marry off her daughters at almost any cost, it is our mother. I cannot feel ill towards Mr. Darcy for acting as he did, especially when he has shown such love for you. But what about you, Lizzy? If he is really so disagreeable, you should not feel compelled to spend your life with him.”

“Oh, do not feel too sorry for me, Jane,” Elizabeth said dismissively. “As I said before, I am convinced he is not an ogre, so there is every possibility my life with him should not be too burdensome. Even if he does turn out to be difficult, I am sure I can find a way to muddle through. I do not believe I could be as fortunate as Charlotte, for she says that sometimes she and Mr. Collins will spend entire days in which they spend no more than five minutes together. Mr. Darcy has his friends, his riding, and his hunting. I am sure I should not be afflicted with his company unduly.”

“Elizabeth, that is quite unkind!” said Jane in shock. “I do not believe that is the life Mr. Darcy envisions with you. He appears absolutely and completely in love with you—so much so he hardly cares to participate in a conversation with any other topic.”

Elizabeth smiled deprecatingly. “That does appear to be true, Jane, and I hope I can use that affection to effect some changes in his character. But I remain at least somewhat unconvinced. There is a definite possibility he could not change enough to make him truly amiable, no matter what I do.”

“I do not think Mr. Darcy is disagreeable, Lizzy. All of us here like him very much. He could hardly have been more friendly. And, even if it is only his own inner circle with whom he is friendly, is that such a problem?”

“Perhaps you are right, Jane, but your Mr. Bingley was open and friendly with everyone, both in public and in private, while Mr. Darcy is only convivial with those whom he deems to be part of his precious private party. Perhaps he feels his ease with his private associates gives him the right to be haughty and prideful with everyone else.”

Jane was silent while Elizabeth stood up, and she handed Elizabeth one warmed towel for her hair while she used another to help her dry off. But after Elizabeth stepped out of the bath and she wrapped a warmed robe around Elizabeth’s shoulders, Jane finally broke her silence.

“I will tell you one difference between what you call
my
Mr. Bingley and your Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth,” Jane said hoarsely. Her voice was strangled with emotion, and Elizabeth looked at her in sudden alarm. The expression she saw on her beloved sister’s face was one she had never seen before, composed of equal parts heart-rending sadness and sudden fury.

“You say your Mr. Darcy is lacking in amiability and is marked by both pride and a haughty arrogance, and you may be right, Lizzy,” Jane resumed, in the same strained voice. “And he may indeed have helped convince Mr. Bingley to suddenly leave Netherfield. But you cannot deny
my
Mr. Bingley allowed himself to be convinced to leave, while
your
Mr. Darcy overcame every argument and declared himself to you.
My
Mr. Bingley thought too much of the opinions of others to go against them, but
your
Mr. Darcy put even more harsh opinions aside to make you an offer of marriage.”

Elizabeth was taken aback by the ferocity of Jane’s unexpected response, so much so that she unconsciously backed away from her sister. But Jane stepped forward to close the distance even as she continued. “And
my
Mr. Bingley made his departure from the neighbourhood without even a note of explanation, but
your
Mr. Darcy marched in to tell his aunt of his engagement to you, fully knowing what form her response was going to take. Then he announced your engagement in
The Times
, and he cannot wait to introduce you to all his friends and family.
He
could not wait to introduce his sister to you, and she could not wait until you returned to London, while
my
Mr. Bingley’s sisters professed friendship even as they convinced their brother to abandon his estate in Hertfordshire. And, with all this clearly in front of you, you have the effrontery to say you will not be too troubled by being married to a disagreeable man, since you can always stay in different parts of the house and pursue different pastimes so you will not have to spend much more time with your husband than Charlotte spends with hers! Or,” she continued, her voice dropping to the point that it was almost a rasp, “much more time than our father spends with our mother!”

By this time, Jane had backed Elizabeth up against the wall of their bedroom. She continued to glare at her sister, her hands clenched into fists, while Elizabeth tried to avoid her blazing eyes. She was completely unaware that her own mouth hung open in stunned amazement.

“If you treat Mr. Darcy in the same shameful method our father has done with our mother— Do not disagree with me, Elizabeth! We have talked before of his failures as a father and husband! But if you treat Mr. Darcy the same way, I . . . I will . . . I . . .”

Whatever Jane had intended to threaten was lost as the unaccustomed anger suddenly and completely vanished from her countenance. Her face seemed to crumple as her emotions could no longer be held in check. She gave a strangled sound as she tried to go on, but instead she burst into sudden tears and whirled away to stumble blindly out of the bedroom and down the hall, slamming the door forcefully behind her. Elizabeth heard her sister’s steps run down the hall while she remained in silent amazement against the wall, so stunned by the angry onslaught that she was not able to stir herself to complete her dressing for more than ten minutes. During the entire time, she could not stop Jane’s angry words from echoing through her head.

Chapter 22

“Think not those faithful who praise
all thy words and actions; but those
who kindly reprove thy faults.”

—Socrates, ancient Greek philosopher

Saturday, April 18, 1812

Elizabeth had not completed dressing many minutes before the door of the bedroom flew open, and Jane was instantly in her arms, clutching her fiercely while she wept on her shoulder.