Consequences (50 page)

“Claire, wait a minute.” Her first thought was that he expected some sort of gratitude. She turned back to him with fire in her eyes. He casually leaned on his desk. “She was fishing.”

Confused, the fire still flickered. “Fishing for what? Information about our honeymoon? Honestly, Tony, she’s my sister. Maybe she’s just interested in learning about me from me, not a magazine.”

He looked impatient. “Are you done?”

“Yes.” He indicated for her to sit down. She did.

“She was fishing to find out if you knew about John’s job offer.”

“That doesn’t make sense, how would I know . . .” She looked at Tony and her heartbeat increased. “Why? Why would you offer John a job? I know you well enough to know you don’t like him.”

“I don’t like his strength and determination. He pursued the prenuptial agreement in
my
limousine even though he knew I didn’t want him to. He even had the balls to offer me advice. Then during the rehearsal he stood in front of me and our friends and had the audacity to
not
give
you
away.
”

“I knew that upset you. We have just never discussed it before now.” Tony nodded. “Then please explain why you would offer him a job?”

Tony smiled a devious grin. “I didn’t. Tom did. He contacted John while we were on our honeymoon. They have had two meetings in New York. John does have an amazing résumé for someone who went to law school in Indiana.”

“It is one of the top twenty-five law schools in the country.” Claire immediately regretted defending John.

“Yes, thank you, Mrs. Rawlings. I will let Tom know that he may contact you if a cheering section is needed for Mr. Vandersol.” Claire apologized and asked Tony to continue. “He graduated
magna
cum
laude
from Indiana University School of Law and was hired by an East Coast firm that predominately hires from within the Ivy League. He has worked very hard, and after only four years is an associate on the fast track for partnership consideration.”

Claire wasn’t sure if it was Tony or Tom, but someone had done their homework. “All right, he has a good résumé, but you just said you don’t like him.”

“Actually, Mrs. Rawlings, I said I don’t like his strength and determination, or more accurately, they infuriated me.” He smiled again. This one wasn’t devious, more mischievous. Claire suddenly experienced déjà vu and smiled back.

“Tony, John isn’t me. He doesn’t know you as well as I do.”

“That is good. I would prefer to keep it that way.”

“I mean, I don’t want you to be upset if he refuses your offer.” Tony lifted his eyebrows, indicating for her to continue. “John has worked very hard to achieve what he has in life. He may not accept your offer as being based on his résumé but as being based on a familiar relationship.”

“You know him better. But Tom made him a very impressive offer. Those student loans, mortgage, and other debts you mentioned would no longer be an issue. Emily would not need to work, and they could live anywhere they wanted.”

“Emily likes her job. She loves teaching. Our mother was a teacher up until the day she died. Emily enjoys doing what she does.” Claire realized she wasn’t facilitating the conversation. “But I am sure the loss of debt would be appealing. Emily could always find another teaching job. She does have over six years of experience. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if he refuses.”

“It is interesting the lengths some people will go to reduce their debt.”

Claire chose to ignore that comment. “Has Tom given him a deadline? And what was the point of me talking with Emily but not knowing about John?”

“Tom has asked for an answer by the end of January and I was curious.” This time Claire raised her eyebrows. “I wondered if Emily would come right out and ask you about the job, and I figured that if you knew about it, she would think you persuaded me to offer it to him. Or more accurately, persuaded me to persuade Tom.”

Claire thought for a minute. “Well, I can honestly say it never occurred to me to ask for such a thing. And obviously Emily doesn’t realize that I don’t have that kind of influence over you.”

His smile flashed, but more unscrupulous this time. “Why, Mrs. Rawlings, I believe you have been known to be quite persuasive.” The enlightening conversation was done. Claire had a lot to consider. She didn’t feel good about the probability of John being employed by Rawlings Industries. However, she was honest both to Emily and Tony. That’s all she could do. Honesty was always the best policy, right?

Part
of
the
happiness
of
life
consists
not
in
fighting
battles,
but
in
avoiding
them.
A
masterly
retreat
is
in
itself
a
victory.

—Norman Vincent Peale

 Chapter 34

The new year began, and the routines of the past year continued. Tony left in the morning for work. Claire stayed home swimming in the indoor pool, working out in the gym, reading books, watching movies, and waiting for his return. She still relied on Catherine to inform her each evening of Tony’s plans. One change was that if he were in town he
always
came to her suite. She may even be asleep, but he slept with her. Another change was that he personally informed her of any events, gatherings, or activities that they would attend as a couple. Claire felt that was an improvement from Catherine’s last-minute information.

Together they attended two formal events in January. The University of Iowa held a banquet, preceded by cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, to recognize platinum donors. Mr. Anthony Rawlings, of course, was one of them. They also attended a political fund-raiser for the Iowa City District Attorney’s Office, where a speaker spoke about the role of private industry in the country’s financial recovery. Claire played her part well. She remembered all the rules of her first outing at the symphony. Now as Anthony Rawlings’s wife she didn’t need to be the perfect companion—she needed to be the perfect wife. She projected the persona well: beautiful, polite, contented, and appreciative.

Claire had been a newlywed over a month. And most of that time had been spent wandering around her home. The continual snow and cold even restricted her from getting outside into the woods. She wondered about Courtney or Sue. Perhaps they didn’t want to see her. She hadn’t seen or talked to anyone since Emily. That had been on January 1. The walls of her beautiful home were closing in upon her.

When Tony worked from home Claire joined him in his office. It wasn’t a requirement; she thought of it as a getaway from her normal routine. He mostly worked from Iowa City, but he also went out of town a few times. He said he wanted her with him on these business trips, but things were too busy. There would be no time for social activities, and she would be bored. He decided it was better for her to stay home.

She felt increasingly claustrophobic, and Tony seemed completely unaware of her plight. Claire decided that perhaps this qualified as one of those “I am a busy man. If you want something, you need to ask me” situations. One night after Tony returned from a short stay in Chicago and the two lay in his dark suite, Claire decided to ask, “I would like to go with you on your next business trip.”

“I told you, things are busy. You would be bored.”

“I’m bored now. I’ve barely been out of this house since our honeymoon. I’m going crazy.” She expected some realization, an apology for being so involved in business that he’d neglected his wife, perhaps some sweeping request for forgiveness.

That wasn’t what she received. Abruptly he turned. Sensing his face above hers, she could feel his breath on her face. “Really? You are bored?”

Resilient, “I am.”

“And you didn’t catch the end of the conversation?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t. I will stay out of your way and we don’t need to go out on the town. I just want to get out of this house.”

“You have received many invitations for outings.” He remained inches from her face.

“What? What kind of invitations? And why didn’t I know about them?”

Tony explained, “You don’t know about them because I chose not to pass them on to you.” Claire waited while he continued, “During our wedding preparations you were extremely busy, sometimes you weren’t home when I returned. I didn’t like that.” His cadence slowed. “Besides, on New Year’s Eve you seemed to have memory issues. I decided that going out as Mrs. Rawlings alone was something that you were not ready to do.”

Claire could feel anger building within her chest and feared that if she spoke her words would ignite her husband’s fury, not subdue it. Therefore, she concentrated on keeping her lips pressed together as he continued, “And I like knowing that you are home, safe and out of trouble. I have too many things on my plate. I don’t need to worry about you having an
accident
.”

“From whom?” Claire asked assertively. She’d remained silent as long as she could.

“Excuse me?” Tony understood her tone. He wanted clarification on her meaning.

“The invitations that I have received, who are they from?”

“I believe your ability to understand has diminished with your memory. I said I chose
not
to forward them to you.
I
decided you will stay home, safe. Good night.” Tony lay back on his pillow.

She lay still for what seemed like hours. His breathing slowed and became rhythmic. For the first time since he’d proposed, she didn’t want to be with him. Claire decided that since they were in
his
suite, she could go to
hers
. She waited until she felt certain that he was asleep, and then gently lifted the covers. Feeling for her robe she heard his booming voice rip through the darkness. “What do you think you are doing?”

“I am aware the conversation is done and that I have no control in my own activities. It is all in your hands. But at this moment, I am also aware that you do not consider me a spouse or a partner. I am going to my suite to ponder this information.”

“No, you are not.” A conclusive statement. At a little over six foot four, Tony’s arm span was immense. Perhaps if she hadn’t been tying her robe and putting her feet into slippers she might have had better balance. In less than a second he grasped her arm and she was again lying on his bed. The weight of his upper body had her pinned to the mattress. Memories of their wedding pictures came to mind, she felt small and defenseless.

“Tony, remember your promise.” Her voice sounded falsely formidable.

“Which has
always
been contingent upon yours.” Her chest suddenly felt heavy, not from the weight of his body, but his words. He continued, “You are right.” She didn’t speak, unsure of her correctness. “The conversation
is
done and I
am
in total control of your activities, including where you will sleep and which invitations you will accept.” The tears began to pool in her eyes. “However, you are also mistaken. I don’t
consider
you a spouse. I
know
you are
my
wife. You belong to me.”

His forearms pushed against her shoulders causing them to ache. His words weren’t a revelation, Claire knew she was his possession. He continued moving his face closer. “You are staying
here
tonight. You are not leaving
me,
my
bed,
or
my
presence
.” The tears flowed. “Now it is time for you to respond appropriately.” His weight shifted slightly.

Claire remembered times in the past when she hadn’t replied quickly enough or to his liking. She focused her energy on keeping her body from trembling. However, she couldn’t concentrate on that and tears, so her words became muffled sobs. Swallowing hard, she tried to strengthen her voice. “I will not leave you. Even if I left your bed tonight it would have only been because I’m upset, not because I want our marriage to be over.” She took a ragged breath, imagined his dark eyes, and thanked God that the room was too dark to see them.