Authors: Emily Goodwin
“
Maybe it’s good news,” he suggested. “About the vaccine.”
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I wish.”
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Me too, though, I’m realistic.”
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Exactly.”
Nothing could have prepared me for what we saw. Sitting on the hard, foam bed, was Parker. His shirt was off, revealing a nasty looking scab on his side. When I got closer, I could see the half moon teeth indents.
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Hi, Hayden!” Parker said enthusiastically. His father stood behind him, looking grim. “I’ve been bitten too,” he explained. Evan closed his eyes, as if the information was too much.
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I see that,” Hayden said. He pushed up his sleeve and showed Parker both of the bites. “When did you get bitten?”
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About two weeks ago,” Evan spoke, his voice heavy with worry. His eyes scanned Hayden dubiously. “You’ve really been bitten twice?”
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Yeah. By an S1 and an S2,” he explained, forgetting no one else knew the proper terms for crazy, zombie, or gummy.
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What’s an S1?” Parker asked. Hayden expatiated about the stages of the virus. Parker had been bitten by an S1. He hadn’t known the girl was infected when he found her wandering around the streets of an abandoned city. She seemed almost normal, he told us. Then she bit him.
Padraic and Cara came into the room and told Parker and Evan about trying to create a vaccine. They explained that they wanted to take a few samples of Parker’s blood to study. Padraic assured Evan more than once that they wouldn’t force him or Parker to do anything they didn’t want to do.
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Could this work?” Parker asked.
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We’re hoping it will,” Padraic said, barely able to keep the equivocal tone from his voice.
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Then I want to help. If there is a chance, then I’ll do it.”
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Parker,” Evan blurted. “Think about this!”
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It’s nothing bad,” Hayden chimed in. “It doesn’t hurt or bother me. I give blood every now and then. That’s all.”
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I want to be like Hayden,” Parker begged to his father. “If I can help, then I want to.”
Evan looked at Hayden with contempt, as if he wished Hayden would have spoken about how awful donating blood was and made Parker not want to do it.
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Who else knows?” I asked, not fully understanding why I was needed.
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No one,” Evan noted. “I didn’t tell a soul. And neither did Parker, right?”
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Right,” the kid agreed. “I didn’t tell anyone.”
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Well then,” Padraic said, clasping his hands together. “Parker, I will have Dr. Cara get a quick blood sample from you, and then you can be on your way.”
Dr. Cara’s hair was frizzier than the last time I saw her. She had on a purple cable sweater and red leggings. The potato soup we had for dinner was splashed down the front of her, and her socks didn’t match. She snapped on rubber gloves and told Parker to hold his father’s hand.
Padraic motioned for us to follow him into the hall. He closed the door and looked up and down the hall to make sure no one was in ear shot.
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I know this is asking a lot,” he started. “But now that we have two samples to draw from, it looks more promising. If we can find anything similar, then we may be onto something.”
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What are you asking?” Hayden said with impatience.
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We need blood samples. From zombies. All three stages if possible.”
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Ok,” I said with indifference. “That shouldn’t be a problem. I can shoot them first, right?”
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Yes,” Padraic told me. “As long as you get the blood right away from the crazy stage. I don’t think it will make a difference for the other two. Also,” he said, looking at Hayden. “A sample of your lymphatic fluid could possibly provide useful information.”
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Sure,” Hayden agreed, before knowing what that would entail.
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Wait, how do you get the lymphatic fluid?” I asked, not really knowing what it was.
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A simple procedure,” Padraic calmly explained. “One I’ve done before. It’s called a lymph node biopsy. I’ll start with a needle biopsy; all I’ll do is take out fluid with a needle. Hopefully that will be enough, though it’s only a small sample of cells.”
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And if it’s not enough?” Hayden reluctantly asked.
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An open biopsy would be next, but again, only if you want to do it.”
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Yeah,” Hayden agreed again.
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Doesn’t he need his lymph nodes?” I questioned.
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Yes, you need them,” Padraic said. “But biopsying one will not cause harm.”
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Sure. I’ll do it,” Hayden stated. “Uh, how do you do it?”
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The needle biopsy takes less than ten minutes,” Padraic began. “A needle will be inserted into the lymph node and the fluid is pulled out. Kind of like getting your blood drawn. And an open biopsy is the actually removal of the node. You should know, normally I’d numb my patients. I don’t have any sort of anesthetics here.”
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Oh, yay,” Hayden said with less enthusiasm.
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I can give you morphine. It will at least help.”
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It’s better than nothing.”
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And,” Padraic said, turning around at the sound of Parker’s voice. “I would like to do yours first, since I can’t guarantee favorable results.”
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Fine with me. I don’t want to put the kid through it if he doesn’t have to.”
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Great. And again, don’t mention this to anyone. I will talk to Fuller tomorrow. Are there any missions planned?”
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Yes,” Hayden answered, which was news to me. “But Orissa and I aren’t going. We rotate who goes out.”
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Right.” Padraic ran his hand through his hair. “And you’re with others, correct?”
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Yes. But Orissa and I will be able to get away long enough to collect blood samples.”
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I cannot thank you enough,” Padraic said sincerely. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.” He forced a smile and went back into the lab.
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Are you not ok with this?” Hayden asked as we walked up the stairs.
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I am,” I told him.
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Then why are you so quiet? You’re never quiet.”
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I’m thinking,” I admitted. “About what it would mean if we really did have a vaccine.”
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It would be awesome, for one thing. And I think it would offer a lot of hope.”
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Yeah, it would.” I smiled at him, not saying that I didn’t like the fact that it meant causing him harm. It was horribly selfish, that much I knew. I should be thinking about the greater good here. I shouldn’t be worried about Hayden’s comfort, especially when Padraic was in charge of the research. As much as the Irish man annoyed me, I trusted him with my whole heart. He wouldn’t do anything that would harm anyone.
Hayden went back into the video game party, leaving me to go to sleep by myself. I was very glad to learn that we weren’t going on the next mission. It was a simple supplies run; we had three pregnant women at the shelter who would soon need baby items. But before the four A1s left, they had to load up all of the compound’s garbage, haul it miles away and dump and burn it. Brock gave Hayden a minor heart attack when he said that there was so much garbage that Hayden’s truck needed to be used. Laughing, he told him he was only joking.
I didn’t see much of Hayden the next few days. He was busy talking with Fuller and the other ‘officials’ about expanding the shelter. I ran another session on yoga with the A1s and then again with the A3s. Jason had come up with some stupid story about me being in the CIA. He told me he hated seeing me not being treated with respect.
It was odd, having someone stick up for me like that. I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not. They just needed to see me in action, he went on, and then they’d know. I thanked him nonetheless, wishing he wouldn’t have gone with such an overused agency. Homeland Security was more modern.
The mission team got back four days later. Their trip was a breeze, as they successfully avoided towns with zombies. Hayden, Ivan, Brock, and I were going on the next mission, leaving in two days. It was a unique mission, Fuller explained. The first thing we needed was feed for our livestock. One of the veterinarians made a list of vaccines that were needed for both the livestock and the cats and dogs we had at the shelter. Our next task was to find a farm with healthy looking animals. Finally, we had to find a trailer. A commercial semi truck and trailer would be ideal, though none of us knew how to drive a semi.
Come spring, the plans of expansion would be put into action. The addition would function in a rather old-fashioned manner, relying a lot on farming, and it wouldn’t have electricity. The plan was to start bringing in more livestock slowly, and hope to have enough to sustain us by spring. The cows and chickens we had were used solely for milk and eggs; it would be nice, Fuller told me, to have a burger for dinner.
That night, we met with Sam, a middle-aged man who drove trucks for a living. He painstakingly went over everything we’d need to know about driving the rig. Personally, I thought it would make more sense to find the animals and truck, come back and get Sam, and have him drive the truck while we made sure nothing happened. And semis were big; he’d be able to crush any zombies that tried to get him.
I didn’t pay much attention, figuring that even if I did have to drive, Hayden would show me. Sam left and the guys hung around the table in Fuller’s office, talking about their time in the war. Brock joked that he missed the desert heat, and Ivan said he was glad the zombies couldn’t work guns or detonate bombs.
Though I couldn’t contribute, I stayed, finding their tales both horrifying and interesting. At half past eleven, we said goodnight and headed to bed. I fell asleep quickly that night, dreaming about having my own little cabin on the compound ground.
Hayden’s thrashing and groaning woke me up. He was having another nightmare. I swiftly got out of bed and rushed over to him.
“
Hayden,” I said quietly. “Hayden, wake up.” I put my hands on his shoulders and gently shook. “Hayden!”
He jerked away, his hands harshly grabbing onto me. His eyes darted all over the room, not able to focus on me. His body trembled and he let out ragged breaths.
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Hayden,” I repeated, my voice soothing. “It’s ok, I’m right here.”
He nodded, pulling himself out of the hell his mind was stuck in. “It feels so real,” he said breathlessly.
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It’s not real,” I told him. “I am real. I am right here, listen to my voice. This is real.”
He pulled me to him. I cradled his head against me, running my fingers through his hair. “Breathe. It’s ok.”
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Orissa,” he whispered. “It felt so real. One minute Ben was there, the next he wasn’t. The IED went off and he-he exploded with it.” His body began to shake again. “Just bits of teeth and hair. Not even half a helmet left. Nothing to bring home. I feel like I’m there. I can hear the bombs. I can feel their heat.”
I held onto him tighter. “You’re not there. You’re right here, in your bed at the compound, with me.”
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Right.” He took several deep breaths. “You are here. I’m not there right now.”
I continued running my fingers through his hair for a few more minutes. Then I let them drop, tracing the contours of his neck and shoulder, down his arm and through his fingers.
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You’re cold,” he said.
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I’m ok.”
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You feel cold.” He nestled his head against me. “And real. You feel real.”
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That’s ‘cuz they are real,” I joked. Hayden seemed to suddenly become aware his head rested against my breasts. His body stiffened as if he wasn’t sure what to do. Deciding being pressed against me was too comforting, he relaxed.
Light from the full moon spilled into our room. “Stay with me?” he whispered.
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Of course,” I said softly. We resituated. Hayden pulled me onto his chest, wrapping his arms around me.
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I don’t want to go back to sleep,” he confessed. “I don’t want to go back.”
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I’ll wake you up if you do. I promise. I won’t leave, ok?”
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Thanks, Orissa. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
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Hopefully you’ll never know,” I told him with a half smile. It had been awhile since I’d fallen asleep in Hayden’s arms. Even though I was supposed to be the one comforting him, it felt good to be together. I felt safe with Hayden. I trusted him and knew he’d protect me.
Hayden hit the snooze button twice. We were still tangled together, not willing to get up and go to training just yet. When it went off the third time, he turned off the alarm altogether.
“
Orissa,” he softly called my name. “Can we talk?”
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We are talking,” I informed him with a smile.
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I know,” he chuckled. “There’s something I want to tell you.”
My heart sped up. I nervously snapped the band at the bottom of my braid. Before Hayden could get one word in, the door flew open. I flattened myself, squirming into the crack between the wall and the bed. Hayden threw the covers over me and sat up.
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Rise and shine, Underwood,” Ivan said merrily. “I know you’re just as eager as I am to sweat your ass of in training.”
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Uh, yeah,” Hayden agreed, trying to inconspicuously put the pillow over my head.
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Where’s Penwell?”
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Don’t know. Breakfast probably. She likes to eat with her friend, Raeya.”
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Mmh, Raeya. She’s hot. So is Orissa but I know that you—”
“—
let’s go to breakfast,” Hayden interjected, springing off the bed. “I’m starving.”