[Contributor 02] - Infiltrator (2013) (13 page)

“I will.” She was reluctant to admit it, but his words had brought her some relief. Still, he hadn’t dispelled all her fears. “My problem with what’s going on now is that I feel like I
am
doing what I’m told without question. Letizia tells me to trust in the Free Thinkers, Mal does—even you do.”

“Yeah, you’re right. We are telling you that.” Regret filled his eyes, along with consciousness. “No solution is perfect. Things are going on behind the scenes that you’re not aware of—even I’m not aware of everything that happens. A certain amount of letting go comes with the territory. I have to place some trust in the Free Thinkers and hope that their motives are good, but I don’t really know. The thing is, I know I can question those intentions. It might be a relief to absolve myself of the responsibility of picking things apart, but doing so makes me a part of the system. I swore a long time ago I was done with that, and if I ever felt the Free Thinkers were leading me in that direction, I’d leave. It’s as simple as that.”

“Then promise me that you’ll tell me if you do suspect it’s happening.”

“Only if you promise to do the same for me.”

“It’s a deal.” He offered her his hand, a slight smile on his face, and she smiled in response, extending her hand to him. His palm was rough and warm, and as his hand closed around hers and they exchanged a solemn shake, the constriction in her chest eased.

Nervous jitters made Dara’s stomach churn and her palms sweat, filling her with so much excess adrenaline that she felt like she might burst. She exhibited no signs of this, though, as she entered Andersen’s office and took a seat. He closed the door and sat across from her, studying her face with an inscrutable expression. She had given him the report on Jasmine Shah three days ago, and she assumed it was the reason he had called her into his office.

“Would you like tea?” he asked, gesturing to a serving tray on top of the cart that stood behind his desk.

The question surprised her. He had never before offered her anything, and the show of courtesy immediately put her on her guard. “Thank you, sir,” she said through stiff lips.

Further stunned by his getting up and pouring the tea himself, she took advantage of his temporary distraction to suck in a few deep breaths, clenching her hands together until she felt like her bones might crack from the stress. Her rate of breathing had increased, and if she didn’t get it under control soon it would come out in short gasps.

“How would you like a special treat? I happen to have a bit of honey,” he said, his back still toward her. She wondered if he was doing this deliberately. Something about the set of his shoulders made her think he was enjoying himself.

“That’s very generous, sir. Thank you.”

He set a delicate cup in front of her, the slight tap it made as it came in contact with his desk nearly sending her through the ceiling. She flashed what she hoped was a sickly, grateful smile at him and forced herself to take a sip of the tea. The flavor made her eyes widen. It was much finer than the tea she and her father received as part of their rations, and the sweetness of the honey brought out its delicate floral, grassy flavor.

“It’s quite nice, isn’t it?” he asked, noting her reaction.

“The best I’ve ever had, sir,” she said, seeing no need to lie.

A small, satisfied smile played on his lips, and he settled into his chair. “I was most pleased with your report.”

“It’s my pleasure to contribute.” Averting her eyes, Dara hoped he would interpret the gesture as one of modesty rather than what it actually was: an attempt to conceal her disgust. Bile rose to the back of her throat.

“I’ve no doubt you’re aware of the value of the project I proposed.”

“I am, sir.” Her voice was automatic, delivering the adoration and praise he expected. “It could be one of the most important inventions in the history of the domes.”

“It’s
the
most important invention since the domes were conceived.” He almost purred the words, and she hazarded a glance at him. Pleasure radiated from his face, and she knew some good must have come of his secret meetings with the Creators. He wouldn’t allow his emotions to be so obvious if he didn’t have reason to be confident.

Deciding it was an acceptable risk, she asked, “Will the project move forward, then?”

“Oh, it will.” Not a sliver of doubt marred his tone, and she forced her fingers to relax when she caught herself crushing the hem of her jacket. “That does not mean that certain…obstacles do not exist. I’m certain you understand, Dara, that progress is never something to be feared.”

“Of course not. Progress is Magnum’s aim, for the betterment of all Creators, Ballasts, and Cores.” Hadn’t she heard that line once, in an old Creator speech or something? If the words sounded familiar to him, he didn’t react. She had never seen him more at ease, and it magnified her own uneasiness.

“I wasn’t convinced you were the right candidate to be my assistant. Your work was proficient, and you had moments of innovation, but of course you would shine when compared to the very unsatisfactory performances of your competitors.” Venom filled his voice, and for a brief second it was clear to her how much he despised Javier and Ryan. Ryan was gone, presumably one more casualty of the wasteland, but Javier was not only still a part of Magnum, he had found a cozy new position with Jasmine Shah. Dara could see that it ate at Andersen, could tell from the gleam in his eyes that he would like nothing more than to take both Shah and Javier down. She kept her mouth shut.

Shaking himself from his reverie, Andersen stared her down with his glacial eyes, making it difficult for her to breathe. “However, your performance thus far has been beyond reproach. You have completed all the tasks I have assigned you, and you have exceeded your usual meticulous standards with your latest work.”

Did he really think he could beguile her? Peeking at him, she realized he did. Andersen was clever, cold, calculating, but he was also arrogant, she saw it now. He believed himself far above everyone else and was convinced that no one could outwit him. It gave her a vicious sense of satisfaction to know that, so far, she was one-upping him at his game, and he didn’t even know it. She pushed that unwise pride aside, reminding herself that it wouldn’t take much for her to slip and tumble over the edge. He wasn’t oblivious, and she had managed to keep her activities secret thus far not just by the sheer force of her will, but courtesy of the help of Letizia and the Free Thinkers. Now was not the time to start suffering from the delusion that she could have deceived him on her own.

“Thank you, sir. I’m humbled by your praise and grateful for the opportunity to do what I can to make your load easier, as your contributions have been so important to Magnum’s success.”

He liked that last part, she could tell. With a haughty nod, he took a sip of tea before continuing. “I believe you share my vision of a better, stronger Magnum, and I believe in your devotion to our esteemed Creator. After all, you have sacrificed personal pleasure for the sake of your Creator, as should we all. But there are those who don’t find this such an easy step, those who fail to understand the importance of giving their all to Magnum.”

Rage filled her and she wanted to punch him, wanted to smear the smug expression from his face. He reveled in probing her wound, poking and prodding, trying to make her bleed, and she couldn’t do anything about it other than sit back and take it. Keeping her face neutral, Dara told herself that he would one day pay for his reign of terror.

A smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth. “Unfortunately, I believe we have such a person in our midst. I fear that Jasmine Shah seeks to put her own petty interests ahead of those of Magnum. She wants to hinder progress and deny Magnum, the other Creators, and all Ballasts and Cores of the boon that would result from this project. She would deny us all the chance to build new domes, to develop new technologies that would enable us to increase the population and begin to reclaim what we have lost.”

Dara arranged her face to appear both horrified and appalled by the prospect. Her satisfaction at the realization that Andersen had bought her gullible act was a bitter pill. Yet as bad as it was to be forced to sit and listen to him, to pretend to be enthralled, she would not allow herself to lose sight of how much worse everything would have been had she bought into his vision. Letizia had been right to call him dangerous. He would seduce everyone with his project, convince them that they needed him, but he wouldn’t be doing it out of the goodness of his own heart. Something was in it for him, something big. Dara just needed to find out what that was.

“It’s unconscionable,” she said.

“Yes, it is,” he said, obviously pleased with her choice of words. Little did he know she had been speaking about something else entirely. “We cannot allow it to happen, can we?”

“No.” The steel in her voice deepened the satisfaction in his eyes.

“It’s good to know I can depend upon your help.”

“You can, sir.”

With a low, rumbling chuckle, he raised his teacup to her and took a drink. As she forced down the suddenly cloying perfumed liquid, she felt like she’d sold her soul.

“He’s escalating,” Dara said when she finished telling Raj about her conversation with Andersen. She could not sit still. Work had been excruciating for the last several days, and she had been so filled with pent-up frustration that she would gladly have walked across the wasteland barefoot in order to reach him at last, so she could let him know what was happening.

“You’re right, he does have something planned,” he said, sounding worried. He’d been studying her with a concerned expression from the moment he’d first seen her, which did nothing to make her feel any calmer.

“I take it the data miners have finally found something substantial?” she asked, unable to keep the hard edge from her question. She knew it wasn’t the data miners’ fault, but she needed to vent her anger on someone.

“Subtle manipulations in some of the data sets.”

“Meaning?”

“It appears Andersen is setting Jasmine Shah up. Nothing obvious, not yet, but he’s been laying the groundwork. He’s a lot craftier than we imagined. It took our most skilled hackers to figure it out.”

“He’s never done this before?”

“Never.” Raj met her gaze and a chill raced up her spine. “Andersen trades in information, and he keeps records, but nothing that would raise any eyebrows. This is the first time we’ve ever known him to get into Magnum’s systems and make changes.”

“He’s never had this much at stake before.” Shoving a hand through her hair, she started pacing again. “You have to ramp up my training. I need to be ready.”

“I know. But, Dara, I’m concerned about you. Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay!” she shouted. Whirling around, she balled her hands into fists and glared at him. “He’s going to ask me to do something, I know it. That’s what that meeting was all about. He’s like a spider, drawing me into his web, and I’ll have no choice but to go along with it, whatever it is.”

“Then quit. You don’t have to do this to yourself.”

“I can’t, you know I can’t.” The fight went out of her and she sank into a chair, holding her hair back with both hands, tugging on it.

“You’re not alone.” His voice was quiet, and he pulled her hands away from her hair, trapping them in his. He clasped them tightly, making her feel like he was anchoring her. “You have to stop thinking you are.”

“Raj, he’ll want me to hurt people. He’ll want me to do something to sabotage Shah, and, yes, you keep telling me that you’ll keep an eye on her, but what if you can’t stop this? How will I live with it if you fail? It will be my fault. I don’t care that my intentions were good. That won’t make an ounce of difference if the Authorities drag her away and make her disappear.”

Maintaining his hold on her hands, he tilted his head and peered up at her, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Do you know how many Contributors I helped send away?”

“What?” she asked, confused.

“Do you know how many Contributors I helped send away?”

“No.” Dread crept over her as his hands began trembling.

“
I
know. It’s been three years since the last time. I’ve helped extract three times the number of people I helped send away, but I remember every one of their names. Every time I close my eyes, I see their faces. Twenty-nine faces, Dara, twenty-nine. Twenty-nine people I tore away from their families, twenty-nine living, breathing human beings I discarded like broken old machinery. And you want to know what the worst part is? I felt good when I did it. I thought about what a great Contributor I was, what a fine doctor I would make. I thought about how well I was serving my Creator, and I was proud of myself.” He all but spat the last words, his hands tightening on hers until his grip was painful. The shame, the disgust in his eyes, told her he was tangled in his memories. He was reopening old wounds with the express purpose of making himself bleed, and she knew he had done it many times before. He had no scars because he made a point of freshening his wounds whenever they seemed on the verge of healing.

“Raj, you didn’t… You thought you were helping them. You wanted…” She flailed for words, painfully aware of how poor a job she was doing of convincing him to absolve himself of his guilt. A need to end his torment drove her, but she had no idea how to go about it, and she was frustrated by her own inadequacy.

“I did want to help them, at first,” he said, his voice raspy, harsh. “After number fifteen, they brought me in on the big secret.

“Desai Nanotechnology values its Contributors, they told me. Desai wants to ensure that it meets the needs of every man, woman, and child living under its dome. There is nothing Desai wouldn’t do for its Contributors. Without them, Desai wouldn’t exist. They told me these things and I believed them. I believed every last word.

“Resources are limited. Desai can only do so much. If Desai doesn’t carefully manage those resources, there will be nothing left. It’s a sad reality, a harsh fact of life in the domes, but Desai can’t take care of everyone. Desai has to allocate its resources to the most productive Contributors to ensure the success and welfare of all.”