Control (8 page)

Chapter 15

Alexis

My legs were shaking by the time we pulled up to the hotel. Cole had warned me a few minutes before the car came to a stop that we were almost there. My heart melted as he helped me into the seat beside him and made sure my skirt was down and my body covered before worrying about getting his pants back up.

"Come on. You'll love this place, or at least I do." He smiled and offered me his hand. "I know you're a little bit of a control freak with a protective nature from hell, but I'm hoping tonight you'll let your guard down just a little."

Worry rolled through me, and I turned to give him a look as I lifted my eyebrow.

"What do you have in mind?" I slipped my hand into his as we walked up to the ornate hotel.

He thanked the bellman that held the door for us and pulled his hand from mine only to wrap his arm around my waist and pulled me close.

"Nothing too crazy." He moved into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor. "I just want to relax in the hot tub together a little while and then move to the bed. Just a long night of taking care of each other if you're up for it. Then we can snuggle."

"I was kidding about the snuggling." I smiled and put my back to him.

He pulled me backward and wrapped his strong arms around my waist as he ran his lips over the curve of my shoulder.

"I wasn't." He pressed his teeth into my muscle and I groaned low in my chest.

"Cole. You're leaving tomorrow. Don't promise things you can't come through on." I glanced back at him, trying to give him an out, and hoping to protect myself from losing him the next day, as if that were possible.

"Don't push me away. We still have tonight and you have no clue where the future could lead." He moved around me as the elevator opened. "No more thinking tonight. We're just going to enjoy each other."

"All right." I reached for his hand as he turned and extended it to me. The desire in his eyes was palpable and sent shock waves of desire through the center of me. I could easily fall in love with a man like him. I'd only been in silly flings most of my life, but it felt different with him.

He stopped outside of his room and worked on the door as I turned and glanced down the hall, a little more nervous than I should have been seeing that we'd been together several times at that point.

"Come on, baby." He grabbed my arm and tugged a little. "Come let me make love to you."

"I'll let you fuck me, but making love sounds like a little much." I forced a cheeky grin and moved into the hotel room, reaching for him as I slid one of my hands down his chest to cup him. "Where do you want me?"

He touched the side of my face lovingly and studied my face. "Let me run us a bath and then you can ask that question again."

"All right." I leaned in and pressed my lips to his, brushing my tongue by the opening of his mouth. He gripped the back of my head and tilted his head a little as a groan left both of us. The passion was sure to burn me, and yet I couldn't back away from the fire if I wanted to.

"Sit on the bed and relax." He nipped at my lips and kissed me once more.

I nodded and moved to the bed with weak knees. He was everything any sane woman would want in a man. He was exactly what I wanted, but with his career, his fame and his focus, I wasn't sure if he was authentic in the intense desire he seemed to have for me, or if it were just part of a larger game.

"We can talk tomorrow at breakfast about us." He turned and worked on unbuttoning his shirt. "We’re not fucking all night and saying goodbye in the morning. That's not happening, baby doll."

"And what if that's exactly what I want?" I lifted my eyebrow, challenging him.

"It's not. Come here." He dropped his shirt on the ground and pulled his undershirt over his head as I walked toward him.

I ran my hands over the smooth skin of his chest and leaned in, closing my eyes and brushing my lips over his pectoral. He cried out as I scored his nipple with my teeth before sucking it into my mouth.

"Damn, Alexis. My heart’s racing." He wrapped his strong arms around me and leaned down, pressing his lips to the side of my head as I moved over to lick at the other nipple. "Get in the water with me."

"Yeah," I mumbled and licked his chest one more time before moving back and pulling off my shirt. He worked on his slacks and undies before climbing into the big garden tub. He laid back as the water filled up around him and watched me like a hawk. I couldn't help but feel nervous like I had the first night we were together.

"You look beautiful. Incredibly sexy. Stop discounting how fucking hot you are." He reached for me as I slipped my panties over my hips.

"Is that all I am?" I took his hand and climbed into the tub with him.

"Of course not, and you know that." He helped me turn and sit in his lap before he opened his legs and let me sink deeper in the hot water.

Every muscle in my body began to relax as I leaned back against him and let out a long breath. "This is nice. I thought we were going to come in and tear up the room with animalistic sex." I laughed and crooked my neck up to look at him.

He touched the side of my face and leaned down for a few sensual kisses before smiling. "The night's not over yet."

"True." I kissed him again and sat up, only to turn and press his thighs together. "I want to feel you inside of me."

"Come here then. I'll give you anything you want. You just need to ask." He gripped my hips as I moved up to straddle him.

"And what if I don't want to ask? What if I just want to take what I want and apologize later." I smiled and leaned down to press my breasts to his thick chest.

"Then you get a spanking." He gripped my hips and pulled me into place, pressing in a little and leaving my body tight with anticipation.

"I like spankings." I pressed my lips to the side of his neck and rocked my hips, working him into me one inch at a time.

The sound of his hand hitting my ass was nothing compared to the sensation of it. Lust pulsed through me as my body opened up farther and lubricated more. I slid down his cock and sat up to press my hands to his chest.

He lifted his hips and closed his eyes, biting his lip and groaning loudly.

"You're so fucking hot, Cole." I slid my hands up his chest as I bounced my ass in a slow rhythmic motion. "Touch me."

"I got nothing on you, baby." He opened his eyes and reached out and fondled my breasts, kneading them softly before tugging at my nipples.

I moaned and leaned forward to better massage his cock, and he gripped my face and pulled me down for a long stream of probing kisses as I worked him.

"Faster," he whispered against my lips and ran his hand down the small of my back, cupping my ass and running his fingers over my sensitive flesh. "Fuck me like you hate me."

"I do at times." I smiled and lifted up only to drop back down, impaling myself on him. The deep pants mixed with his delicious grunts had me racing toward the edge of ecstasy far too fast.

"Come for me." He looked up as his finger pressed into my ass. "Come hard."

I nodded and leaned back down, pressing my chest to his and gripping the back lip of the bathtub. I used it to work us both over the edge, which didn't take much. The way he stretched me open left me little choice in holding out for a small length of time.

I collapsed against him and undulated my hips over and over as I realized we didn't use a condom. I jerked up and popped him in the chest.

"What?" His eyes grew wide. "What's wrong?"

"Did you come?" I got up and moved back to my side of the tub.

"Yeah. You were amazing. Why are you looking at me like that?” He reached for me, but I swatted him away.

What the fuck had I been thinking? I stood up and got out of the tub, grabbing a towel and walking toward the bed.

"You didn't wear a rubber, Cole. Shit." I dropped down and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Oh shit." He moved to his knees and sat back. "I'm so sorry. It's going to be fine. I promise."

"And if it's not?" My voice was pinched as I stared blankly at him.

"Then we'll take care of it."

"Take care of it?" Fear raced through me.

"We'll raise the baby together, Alexis. I'm not a boy." He got up, looking far more calm than I felt. "I'm a man, and you're the woman I'm falling for. Stop racing through the negative possibilities and come here."

I stood up and took a shaky breath. "I need to go."

"No. You need to get in my bed and relax. There's nothing you can do about any of it tonight." He reached for me and grabbed ahold as I tried to move away.

"You don't understand. I want kids, but I want them when I can raise them with someone I love. This would be so fucked up." I tried to pull from him, but he held on tightly.

"Shhhh. Everything is fine." He kissed the tip of my nose and pulled me toward the bed. "I'm not sleeping in this bed without you. Stop denying me and get your pretty ass up in there."

I growled softly and climbed up into the bed, collapsing and letting my fears run rampant.

He moved in behind me and pulled me in close, pressing his firm chest to my back and spooning me.

"No more thinking. It's going to be okay." He kissed the side of my neck and cupped my breasts as I closed my eyes and tried to let it go. It was what it was now. There wasn't shit I could do about it.

"And if it's not?" I whispered as tears burned my eyes.

"It will be. I'll not let it be anything but all right." He pulled me in tighter. "Get some sleep, baby. I'm right here."

He was now... but what about tomorrow?

Chapter 16

Alexis

I waited until the sound of his breathing deepened before getting up. Leaving him lying there was a dick move, and yet I wanted to get home and curl up under my sheets where life felt safe, manageable. I slipped my clothes back on and tiptoed to the door, pausing only to look back and study his figure as he lay in the bed.

My heart ached in my chest at the possibility of never having him touch me again, of never belonging to him, but here I was again. Lost to the possibility of love thanks to letting lust take control of my world and push me toward something I never should have been involved in.

I walked out into the hall and closed the door as carefully as I could before calling a cab and walking down to the front of the hotel and out into the darkness of the early morning.

I shouldn't have left, but I wasn't at all willing to fall more deeply for him than I already had. Sleeping in his arms would have locked into place the need to have him in my life.

That wasn't fair to either of us.

*
 

I took an extra-long shower in the morning and tried to ignore the desire to call into work and avoid him. I wasn't at all ashamed of us fucking the night before, but having to explain myself about leaving him without a word was a bit mortifying. I deserved the feeling, but wanted to protect myself from letting it grow to the level of consuming me.

After drying my hair and braiding it, I wrapped a towel around me and walked out into the living room to find Heather flipping through channels.

"Hey. I didn't know you were here. I thought you spent the night at Cole's hotel room." She patted the couch next to her.

"I did, but I snuck out when he fell asleep." I dropped down next to her and leaned against her as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Did he hurt you?"

"What? No. I'm falling for him, and it was time to run. Nothing like falling for a guy you've known a few days." I gave a sardonic laugh.

"Hey, sharing your body with someone can sometimes lead to an accelerated experience emotionally." She patted my back as I moved back and laughed.

"What show have you been watching?" I snorted and got up.

"Doctor Phil. It's good stuff. Sex is sometimes the key to falling in love for some people. It's true."

I shook my head and walked to the bedroom to get dressed. It was true. She was right, and I was living proof.

My phone buzzed on the side of the bed, and nerves tore up my stomach as I answered it and sat down.

"This is Alexis."

"Hey. It's me. I got your number from Jackson this morning." Cole.

"Oh. Hey, I'm sorry for last night. I couldn't sleep." I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose and took a shaky breath.

"It's all right. I get it." By the tone of his voice, he didn't get it at all. He was hurt, and my heart broke in my chest over the thought of it being my fault.

"No, you don't, but I'll explain when I see you this morning." I forced myself to stand and walk to the windows in my bedroom. I pulled back the curtain as an odd silence formed between us. "I am going to see you this morning, right?"

"I don't think so." His tone was tight, filled with something between anger and pain. "I need to get back to the office, and I can leave the rest of the training with Jackson."

"Oh. Okay. Well, it was good to see you again." I looked out across the city as hot tears blurred my vision. "Best of luck with everything."

"Right. If you find out that you're pregnant, call me, okay?"

"Yep. Good luck, Cole."

"You too, baby."

I tossed the phone across the room as an angry cry ripped from me. He was leaving because I'd snuck out in the middle of the night? What the fuck was that? Or was it because I might be pregnant and he would have to bend his life to help me take care of the child?

Everything inside of me screamed that there was no way he was the kind of man who would run from responsibility, but that part didn't even matter at the moment. The pain of rejection was all that I could feel, all that I could see.

I dropped my towel and crawled back into the bed and pulled my covers over my head.

It was just lust for him, obviously.

Move your mountain.

"I was trying," I whispered as tears dripped onto the pillow beside me. "I was trying so fucking hard to move it so I could get to you."

And he would never know it. Fuck, maybe he didn't want to. It had to be better this way. Him living his big celebrity life and me getting back to being me. It was just sex. Just like my past life had been. A quick high to hit and move on.

I rolled over and pressed my face to the pillow as a scream ripped out of the center of my chest.

For the first time ever - sex wasn't enough. I wanted more. I just didn't know how to go about getting it.