Could This Be Love? (12 page)

As they made their escape, Tynan called out, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“That pretty much leaves everything on the table. Thanks.” Sijan wrapped his arm around her waist and escorted her out.

It was a short walk to the hotel, but a small part of Avery wished it were just a little longer. She loved what this man did to her in bed, but what was growing ever clearer was that this—whatever it was between them—wasn’t just sexual. There was a connection that she’d never felt with a man before. And that was not a feeling she could trust. She could enjoy the hot, amazing love lessons without risking her heart, right?

“Why are you shaking your head? Are you trying to make sense of this? Because I tried that all day,” Sijan said, stopping her and backing her up against a building. He looked down into her eyes, until she couldn’t look away. He took her hand and placed it on his chest over his heart. “Do you feel that? I swear to God, it beats faster when I’m near you. I can’t explain that. I can’t. But I can’t explain the beauty of a hanging curveball either, yet it’s one of the sweetest things to watch.”

He felt it too. It wasn’t just sex. In her life, though, with her history, she couldn’t risk more than that. But if she ever found the courage to open her heart and trust a man . . . was it possible this could be the one? She ran her hand from over his heart up to his jaw, and he groaned and dipped in to kiss her. A wild, passionate, uncontrolled kiss that had her trying to catch her breath. “Do you think the Grapevine could handle it if we ran the rest of the way to the hotel?”

“They would eat it up.” Sijan rested his forehead against hers. His hands moved up to cup her face along her jaw, fingers caressing into her scalp and neck. “We might be able to fool them with a fast walk.”

They didn’t fool anyone.

***

The hotel room door had barely shut behind them before Sijan pressed her up against the nearest wall and kissed her senseless. She had never melted from any other man’s kisses before, but Sijan could mop her up off the floor when this kiss was over. But before she melted, she wanted to collect on something she’d been thinking about since this morning.

“Hey, you promised me ‘up-against-the-wall sex.’ Fork it over, buddy.”

He laughed. “I was planning on us getting to know each other better before we got naked.”

“I’m a very good multitasker. We can do both.” And just to help her case a little, she whipped her blouse off.

“You fight dirty. I like that, but think again, darlin’.” He pulled his shirt off over his head, then unzipped his jeans and shucked them off. “Up-against-the-wall sex is fast and dirty. No time for chitchat. Now strip.”

A flush coursed through Avery’s every artery, vein, and capillary like a high-speed train. She couldn’t get her clothes off fast enough. And it was everything Sijan had said it would be. Fast and dirty, but he’d forgotten to say how completely hot it was. She loved being “taken,” but maybe that was because Sijan had been happy to let her push his back against the wall and “take” him too. The more control she had, the easier she could breathe.

Twenty minutes later, they were horizontal and decadently naked in bed. As much as she tried to keep their time together about sex, he kept making it deeper and more intimate. He was funny and romantic and drew out little wisps of her life, while sharing stories with her too.

“Favorite season?” He held a white rose he had pulled out of the arrangement on the coffee table and slowly ran it across her bottom lip and down her neck. His silver gaze followed the petals’ velvet trail along her quivering body.

“Winter. I like feeling cozy and safe on a cold snowy day.” Did he honestly think her brain was going to keep working much longer?

He ran the dewy petals down over her left breast, lightly teasing her nipple. “Beach or mountains?”

She closed her eyes, trying to think, but the fact that his mouth was right there . . . so close to her breast. Her mind and body were waiting for him to replace the teasing soft stroke of the petals with the warm, moist heat of his mouth. “The m . . . mountains. I like the idea of sitting in front of a warm fire, safe from the night. When I stand in front of the ocean, I feel small. And lonely.”

He paused the rose as it touched the valley between her breasts.

She opened her eyes to find him frowning down at her. Geez, why had she said that? Obviously he was shorting out her brain. “My turn. Dogs or cats?”

“Dogs. Big ones. Not those little yippy ones that women put clothes on. That’s just wrong.” He shook his head, then refocused on the rose again, trailing its softness along her skin over to her other breast. The feather touch left goose bumps. “You?”

“Me what?” What were they talking about? She was too busy watching his lips move as he spoke, trying to hold back a whimper when he ran his tongue along his bottom lip. Did he know how crazy he was making her?

“Dogs or cats?” His lips took their time sliding into a grin. She managed to tear her gaze from his mouth to meet the sexy, knowing light in his eyes. Yeah, he knew exactly what he was doing to her.

“Both.” Avery shrugged awkwardly, feeling her breasts move with the shrug. “I love animals. All kinds.”

Sijan’s face moved from relaxed to intense on a breath. He tossed the rose over his shoulder. “You know you’re killing me, right?”

This time, when she shrugged, he moaned and devoted all his attention to her breasts. Kissing, licking, sucking until she was the one moaning. Sijan didn’t ask any more questions for a while. Which was good because it was hard to answer when the man above her had stolen her power of speech. Sijan taught her a few new things, some she had never even dreamed about. And at least one she hadn’t thought was physically possible. Boy, did he prove her wrong.

***

It was the second-greatest night of Avery’s life, until Sijan woke her up by turning on the bright bedside light and demanding, “Avery, would you care to explain why you have a pregnancy test kit in your bathroom?”

“A what?” Avery sat up pulling the sheet up and shading her eyes until they could adjust to the light. She looked up at Sijan standing next to the side of the bed. “What are you talking about?”

“This,” he said, shoving the small box in his hand closer to her face. “This empty pregnancy test kit. What’s going on, Avery?”

Chapter Eleven

F
or one second, Avery’s optimistic, believe-the-best-in-everyone attitude tried to convince her this was a dream. A nightmare. A pregnancy test kit in her bathroom? It must be Tansy’s. Oh, God, was Tansy pregnant and not seriously sick? Or pregnant
and
sick?

She let it sink in what the box meant. This could be good news or horrible news. Oh lord, please let it be good. Either way, it meant, even if Tansy hadn’t lied outright, she hadn’t been completely honest with her either. Just like Pia had warned.

Whatever dawning reality had registered on her face, Sijan must have put his own interpretation to it. He jerked a hand over his short hair. “You know, Ty kept telling me I was moving too fast and didn’t know enough about you. I hate when Ty is right.”

“Wait. What?” Avery swung out of bed, pulling the sheet with her, covering her body protectively from Sijan’s accusing eyes. “You aren’t even going to listen to what I have to say? You’ve already decided I’m guilty?”

Sijan was ruthlessly tugging his clothes back on. “What gets me is I’ve been in Hollywood among the best and I don’t think I’ve seen a better performance.”

If he only knew how ironic that was. But his reminder of her time in Hollywood—the last time someone had used her, abandoned her, tossed her away—was enough to calm the tears that a minute ago had threatened to erupt. This lonely, solitary space was familiar. She knew this feeling. Her head cleared and her heart cooled. “You think everything that happened between us was a performance?”

“Oscar winning.” Sijan’s gray gaze sliced to her face. “And I bought the whole act.”

Avery drew herself up sharply. Damn her eternal optimist. It was only in the movies where the hero instinctively knew the truth of his lover. “Well, that is the obvious conclusion, isn’t it?” She walked over to the hotel door and opened it wide.

Pia stood there frozen with Avery’s cell phone to her ear. Her gaze took in the scene and she quietly said, “Av, Michelle’s on the phone for you.”

Avery stared at Pia for a moment. She released a heavy sigh and held her hand out for the phone.

“Hello, Michelle. You saw my photograph in the paper?” Avery’s gaze slid over to Sijan. “Yes, I did meet Sijan Cates, the movie star. Michelle, now isn’t a good time. Can I call you back? What? Have Tansy call you? Sure. Wait. Has she had your number for the last two years? She has? Right. Good to know. Bye, Michelle.”

“I’m so sorry, Avery,” Pia whispered.

Avery gave one jerky nod to Pia and looked over at Sijan. “I guess a movie star like you can’t be too careful. But, luckily, you dodged a bullet this time, Sijan. You’re too smart for my schemes. You caught me before I could get pregnant with your child and force you to pay me millions in child support.”

Sijan stood frozen in his spot, his gaze narrowing on Avery. Pia walked in and grabbed Sijan’s arm, leading him out the door. “Bye, Mr. Movie Star. Have a nice life. And I don’t care how many millions of dollars you get in the rest of your movies. You just walked away from the best deal of your life.”

Avery swung the door shut behind him, too numb inside to cry. Pulling the sheet tighter around her, she walked over to the closet and dresser to grab underwear and clothes. “Is Tansy still asleep in your room?”

Pia nodded. “Avery, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” She shook her head, slipping on her panties and bra. She pulled on yoga pants and a T-shirt. “It’s my own dumb fault. You even warned me about Tansy for years, but did I listen to you? No, sir, I didn’t.

“Not that it matters, because apparently, I’ll believe anything. Stupid, gullible me. Why do I keep making the same mistakes?”

Pia walked over to stand in front of Avery, grabbing her hands in hers. “You’re not stupid. Or gullible. Okay, you are a little gullible, but it’s because you see the best in people.”

“Well, that’s pretty stupid of me, isn’t it?” As the numbness wore off, pain rushed in like a storm-tossed tide. Avery sucked in a breath as her body started shaking. “It hurts so badly, Pia. I really should learn. First, I tried so hard to fit into Michelle and Bob’s family. I tried to be the perfect child. It broke my heart when they asked me to move out, but I swear, if they walked through the door right now, I’d still want them to love me. How pitiful is that?”

“That is not pitiful. It’s normal. Every child wants to be loved, Av. And dammit, every child
deserves
to be loved. Your foster parents are the pitiful ones. Do not get me started on your ‘family.’”

“So I get my scared little self on a Greyhound bus to Hollywood and proceed to make the same stupid mistakes by trusting the wrong people.” Pressure built up in her chest and her eyes stung.

Pia’s eyes welled with tears, too. “I should have gotten you out of there sooner. They were eating you alive there, Avery. That one’s on me. Okay, I couldn’t have saved you from Mr. Asshole Producer, but I should have pushed you harder to press charges.”

“You helped me pick up the pieces. Meeting you in that dive coffee shop was the best luck ever.” Avery squeezed Pia’s hand, then let go to swipe at a tear tracking down her cheek. “No, I should have known better than to let myself get into that situation, but he took me under his wing and said I could trust him.”

“That’s what sexual predators do. Christ, Av, we’ve gone over this before. You were barely seventeen and a naive virgin at that. And you know I think he put something in your drink.”

Avery shuddered at the memory. “Then four years and lots of therapy sessions later, when I finally think I’m healed enough to risk again, I make the colossal mistake of trusting Ferret Face. You did try to talk me out of that one, but
noooooo
, I believed it when he said he loved me.”

“Yeah, I’ll grant you Dirk was a mistake, but honestly, the guy had me fooled too. He was definitely an asshole, but an asshole who could act, damn him.”

“And that brings me to Tansy.” Avery walked over and threw herself back on the bed with a groan. “If she told the truth, she certainly didn’t tell all of it. I thought she needed bone marrow, and it’s possible she needs baby booties instead. I get that she’s scared, but doesn’t she know she didn’t need to lie to me? I can’t believe all this time she knew where Michelle and Bob were. Why would she keep that from me? For two years?”

Pia lay down next to her, staring at the ceiling. “Yeah, that was cold. But, Av, this one is on you. Not only did I try to warn you something was off, but I’ve been trying to tell you ever since she washed up in your life two years ago.”

“I know.” Avery turned her head to look at Pia. “I don’t think she loves me like a sister.”

Pia looked at Avery. “I’m sorry.”

“You know what hurts even more than Tansy?” Avery whispered as the tears started to flow again. “That Michelle and Bob, my
parents
, knew Tansy was staying with me for two years, and they never called me. Not once. Not even on my birthday.”

Pia pulled Avery into her shoulder and let her cry her big stupid heart out. When she finally had no more tears to shed, she sat up, wiping her eyes on the edge of her T-shirt. “I’m an idiot. Why am I crying when I should be celebrating? It’s looking highly probable that Tansy doesn’t need a bone marrow transplant. That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yes, it is,” Pia said. “Which is why it’s sad I’m going to have to kill her for hurting you.”

Avery laughed. “Yeah, you and me both. You know what this calls for, Pia?”

“A really good alibi?”

“No, silly. It’s time to hit the mini fridge. This is the perfect time to get drunk, and have a girls’ night in.”

“You got it, kid.”

Avery opened the refrigerator to select their poison. “The bad news is there is no French champagne. The good news is we have a nice variety of mini bottles of cheap wine, liquor, and beer, so we’ll get a good buzz with a nice headache chaser.”