Courage in the Kiss (9 page)

“As for the missed ‘opportunity’ and why I waited until we were alone…” Maxx picked up where he left off, after a few more bites of soaking bread. He seemed to have no trouble discussing this like it was any other business meeting.

Hadley tried not to take it personally. She knew him too well, after all these years, to think that he’d be anything but professional, even in this.

“I refer you to my previous point. The things I want to do to you might scar my brother or father for life,” Maxx claimed, keeping his voice low as the waitress passed their table.

Hadley couldn’t help but laugh. Normally, she’d believe that he was exaggerating, thanks to her innocent lack of knowledge about sex. But now, after last night, she knew and had experienced things she’d never thought would be a part of her life.

“Why did you keep getting me to tell you I loved you last night?” she wondered, changing the course of the conversation, just a little.

Maxx chuckled and took a sip of coffee. “So you do remember,” he teased, pointing out her big mistake.

Silence descended again, as she realised she was getting herself tangled up in a web of lies she couldn’t keep track of. From now, she figured honesty was the best policy. It was the only way she might actually discover what Maxx was thinking, and what he really wanted from her.

“I find it incredibly hot,” he claimed, gazing hungrily at her over the top of his coffee cup. “In fact, I’ve pretty much been waiting for you to grow up, to a respectable age, just so we could have last night,” he confessed.

She wasn’t quite sure what that meant, which was a common theme over the last few hours. Somehow Maxx had gone from formal and predictable, to a surprise a minute tease. “How long have you waited, exactly?”

“Since you were sixteen.”

Hadley was shocked; that was almost as long as she’d loved him. That was a long time to wait for her to ‘grow up’, just so he could sleep with her. Technically, she’d been of age at eighteen, but he’d waited until she was nearly twenty-one.

“Like I said,” Maxx continued, taking another brief sip, “finding out that a girl like you is madly in love with me, is a once in a lifetime deal. It’s irresistible,” he said, taking a moment to get back to his soup.

The atmosphere became tense for a moment, as they both focused on their food and Hadley tried not to acknowledge what he meant. She was an object of lust and had been, to Maxx, for almost five years.

Maxx broke the silence when he finished his soup, pushing the bowl away and taking another sip of his coffee. “Had,” he began, only to stop and smile, shaking his head at something. “Baby, you covered yourself really well this morning, but I can read you like a book. I know you were a virgin, but can you handle this?” he asked, with all the concern that wasn’t generally given after a one night stand.

Confused and feeling too sick to finish her omelette, she sat back and let out a sigh. “That’s just it. I don’t know what
this
is,” she confessed, deciding not to be afraid of admitting that, since Maxx seemed to know everything already.

“Can you handle blunt, then?” he asked in compromise.

Hadley nodded. He was being too understanding of how this would affect her, to refuse him. She already knew she was weak, and that, when it came to Maxx, she lost her head completely.

Maxx accepted her silent answer, then explained what ‘this’ really meant. “I basically run the business. I’m always busy, always exhausted. I have no time for a relationship,” he explained, using that professional calm to go through the situation, between sips of coffee. “Now that Dad’s retiring, all of that is going to get worse. Less time, less sleep, more work, and more stress.”

She understood all of that, well enough. He was in a high stress, high powered line of work, and she knew enough from books and movies, to know that sex was a great release. It was relaxing and a calorie burner; there wasn’t much against it.

“Honestly, unless I have a few days off, I don’t get any action. So, add that into the mix,” Maxx said, sitting back in his seat to enjoy his coffee in comfort.

Hadley felt a light movement beneath the table that suggested he’d crossed his ankles. He looked so calm, despite admitting that he had little time or inclination for sex, during his working trips. That wasn’t what she’d expected, but it brought out a little hope that maybe their night together wasn’t as meaningless as she thought.

He reached across the table and gently took her hand, to brush his fingers against her palm. “Had, if I had the time, I’d actually give us a real shot. We’re electric together, and you get it...all of it...the way that no one else can,” he explained, as though that was enough to build a relationship on.

“But you can’t,” she repeated, not sure if that was to convince herself or him.

“Right.” He nodded and continued to hold her hand in an easy, relaxed grip. “I’m only back home to smooth the way for Dad’s retirement, then I go back to my flat in the city. And then...this...” He gestured between them. “…this will probably never happen again.”

Hadley knew that, beyond anything else. There was no doubt about their future; it was non-existent. Maxx had made it clear that, even if he wanted to, a long term commitment was beyond him, emotionally and because of his work. If she wanted any part of him, it would have to be on his terms or not at all.

“But, while I’m home, can you deal with being my ray of sunshine?” he asked, with that charming smile. “I know you love me, and it’s hard to compromise on that. You’re a great girl, and deserve love, but maybe this way we both get what we want for a little while?” he suggested, as an alternative to forever or never.

Hadley smiled weakly and knew that he was right. After everything he’d said, and all of his brutal honesty, she knew that this was her only chance of having a piece of Maxx Williams.

She wouldn’t have to become his sister, she wouldn’t have to stop loving him. All she had to do was accept the temporary status of their relationship.

“And when Emerson and Micah come home?” Hadley asked, wanting to clarify the ‘rules’ of this agreement. If she was going to shove her dreams aside, for a non-serious fling, she would need to know how it would work. Being with the man of her dreams wasn’t good enough anymore. She couldn’t do this if it was going to hurt the people she loved, who loved her.

He smiled, as he took her hands in his. Without another word, he lifted her right hand and kissed it softly, his hand caressing her skin. “We’ll just have to find some ingenious ways of keeping you quiet,” he said, cheekily. “You’re quite the screamer.”

Hadley opened her mouth to object, but found herself smiling in disbelief, instead. She felt the rush of heat, as her cheeks undoubtedly turned red, and looked out the window by their table.

“Don’t be embarrassed. I approve,” Maxx reassured her, with another teasing kiss on the back of her hand.

It only made her blush harder, until she realised it was pointless. As usual, Maxx would get what he wanted and she couldn’t be angry with him about it. As much as she wanted to kick up a fuss, scream and shout, and knock some sense into him, it would only be a waste of breath and energy.

She’d do anything for him.

Picking up her fork, she delved back into her omelette and took a bite. It was heavenly. Hadley pointed her now empty fork at the omelette. “This is fantastic,” she muttered, covering her mouth with her hand. She broke off another piece and held it up to Maxx. “You have to try this,” she urged, not oblivious to the playful smile on his lips.

Maxx ran his fingers down Hadley’s hand, gently wrapping them around her wrist, before pulling her hand forward. He slowly wrapped his lips around the piece and smiled. “Delicious,” he commented, never breaking eye contact.

Not entirely sure what he was talking about, Hadley slid her hand from his and went back to her breakfast, trying not to let him turn her completely inside out.

He might have got his way, but there was a fluttery feeling in the pit of her stomach that said this was far from over.

Shopping for food gave Hadley a moment of normalcy, after the hectic, crazy week she’d had.

The fact that Maxx walked beside her, commenting on food choices and taking business phone calls in the cereal aisle, was ever so slightly off putting. When he wrapped his arm around her waist, during one of those phone calls, and pulled her close while his hand slipped down to cup her ass, she just about dropped the entire basket. Then he winked and let go, as a kid went rushing past with a trolley.

Hadley brushed off the sense of disappointment that he hadn’t been getting close to her for his own sake, and mimed her thanks, while he took his call. Being rescued and drawn into that strong body was better than being run over by a trolley, by a kid, in front of the man of her dreams.

“That should be everything,” she said, looking over the items she’d bought and calculating how much money she’d brought with her. She had a very strict budget for the household groceries, and a clear idea of what was too much to pay and what was a total bargain.

She pointed at each item, mentally calculating the cost, as they headed for the till. They’d already been to four other stores, but none of them had the ingredients for the dinner she wanted to make for Micah. She’d make him fajitas for tonight’s dinner, then sit him down and talk about her options.

Hadley had made a real fool of herself lately. Not only by reacting the way she did to Maxx’s return home, but screaming at them all that she didn’t want to be part of the family and that she wouldn’t let Emerson adopt her. She’d spilled her own closely guarded secret, and was paying the price with Emerson’s silent treatment. It was only fair, now that she’d agreed to some kind of ‘friends with benefits’ agreement with Maxx, that Micah should know she wasn’t leaving anymore.

How could she? She’d backed herself into a corner, and her options were clear; never let Maxx touch her again, or accept that dreams were nothing like reality. She’d rather have Maxx for a little while than not at all.

A mouth made contact with hers and Hadley’s eyes closed, in a natural response. When the kiss ended, her eyelashes flickered, blinking Maxx’s cheeky smile in and out of focus.

“You were drifting,” he claimed, turning back to his phone as it beeped with a message.

Hadley tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, shocked and slightly embarrassed by the fact that he’d caught her deliberating her choices, right in front of him. Not only that, but he’d just kissed her...in public...in their local store. Anyone could report back to Emerson, and then what would happen? He’d either start planning the wedding, or freak out and disown them both.

Maxx hummed and placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding her to an empty checkout. “Maybe kissing you wasn’t a good idea. You seem to have left me here, alone,” he teased.

Snapping out of it, for the sake of her pride, Hadley did a detour to the next aisle. “I was thinking about the shopping list,” she lied, trying not to sound too hard, but not too unforgiving either. “I forgot that Rowan doesn’t like peanuts. So I’ll get marshmallows and chocolate buttons for his dessert,” she continued, grabbing the two packets of sweets from the shelf.

“Yeah...okay,” Maxx said, unconvinced. He pressed a few more buttons on his phone and placed it back into his trouser pocket. “Grab some chewing gum while you’re there,” he asked, holding their place at the empty checkout.

She did as he asked, remembering to get the spearmint flavour instead of peppermint, then turned to return to the desk. She caught Maxx flashing a smile at the girl behind the till.

“Sorry, she’s a terrible liar and I get her all flustered,” he apologised, to excuse her ‘behaviour’. Whatever that was.

Hadley wanted to smack him for that remark, until the checkout girl blushed and nodded.

“I can see why,” she replied.

Maxx did a double take and eventually laughed at her compliment. “I like you,” he said, while extracting his wallet from his back pocket.

Great,
Hadley thought as she walked over.
More competition for his attention.

“Oh no. Put that away, Maxx,” she objected, as she realised he wasn’t doing anything other than attempting to pay. “I have a budget, and we’re sticking to it. If we go over, and you offer to pay, your chewing gum is the first thing to go. And those steaks you so desperately wanted,” she warned him.

Maxx frowned, but relented and put his wallet back, while rolling his eyes at her. “You’ve never been able to talk money, without getting your knickers in a twist,” he commented to himself.

The accusation stung, but Hadley chose not to cower from expressing her opinion. Maxx was getting everything he wanted, bending her will to his needs with very little effort, because he knew she couldn’t say no to him. It was time he woke up and realised that she wasn’t just a puppet on his strings.

“Perhaps because I’ve never had any money of my own,” she retaliated.

He scoffed, as she began unloading their basket onto the conveyor belt. “Seriously? The old poverty thing again? Had, Dad would give you anything under the sun, if you just asked for it,” he reminded her.

“That’s not how life works, Maxx,” she scolded him. He was such a snobby, privileged rich boy, sometimes. She didn’t know how she put up with it, except that it rarely made an appearance outside of his business dealings. “I earn my way in the world, thank you very much. I will not live on handouts from your father,” she confessed, refusing to hear any more about it.

“Are you saying that I do?” Maxx asked, leaning his hip against the end of the till as he waited to pack the bags. “Because that would put a serious damper on our little arrangement,” he warned, with a deadly serious look and, for once, no smile.

Hadley let out a sigh and looked up at the checkout girl, who was clearly eavesdropping and waiting to hear her reaction. “Maybe I am,” she said, bravely. If he called off their – whatever it was – then she could probably live with herself, without always wondering what the hell she’d been thinking.

Maxx cocked his head at her, raised an eyebrow, and began packing the bags, without a word.

She knew she’d just put everything at risk. That she’d opened her big mouth, yet again, to alienate the one man she wanted to keep forever. But she wouldn’t back down on this. Her life was not sunshine and daisies, with an endless stream of cash and gifts from Emerson. She worked damned hard for the wage he paid her, and earned every penny.

That didn’t mean she wasn’t aware of how spoiled Maxx and Micah were, and had always been. She’d just silently tolerated and accepted the way they squandered money.

Hadley paid for their shopping and followed Maxx to the car, but he didn’t say a word. She had a feeling she’d just royally pissed him off, and this wouldn’t be the last she’d hear of her ‘frugality’.