Covered in Coal (12 page)

In a foggy haze, I crash my body down on top of her, desperate to catch my breath. I kiss her softly, then roll to my back, and snuggle her deep to my side. Holdin’ her hostage in my arms, we lay here together in silence. She runs her fingers up my chest, and begins to trace over my tattoos, again. Her touch is electrifyin’. I grit my teeth down, at the sensation.

“Your tattoos are beautiful.” Her voice, barely a whisper. I smile at her, then kiss her forehead. “Tell me the story.” Cockin’ my right eyebrow at her, clearly confused, she giggles. Ah hell, I haven’t heard that laugh in too damn long. I sit up on the bed, so I can display each original piece of art. Carly Jo sits up beside of me, pullin’ a pillow over her chest, obviously bashful to bare her beautiful body. Trailin’ her fingers up my chest over the tribal tattoo that covers the right side of my torso, she bites her lip as her fingers tremble.  I move her hand to the tattoo that is permanently etched over my heart.

“This tattoo is pretty self-explainable. These are Heidi Jo’s foot prints when she was a baby, and this is he
r birthdate. I got this tattoo here, so I could always keep my baby girl close to my heart. I know one day she’ll grow up and won’t need her Daddy anymore, but this way I’ll have a little piece of her, always.”

She smiles, then trails her fingers over the tribal tattoo once again.  “And this one?” I still her hand over my chest, ticklish from her tingling fingers.

“This tattoo represents strength, it hurt like a bitch, especially over my shoulder. It reminds me that no matter how tough life gets, to stay strong.” 

She smirks, “do you have any others?” Resting my head on the headboard, I sigh.

“A few. Do you have any?” She laughs and quickly inserts a hell no for good measure.

“Show me
your other tats, please?” Turning my head, I show her the nautical star on my neck. She brushes her fingers up my unshaven neck, careful not to miss one inch of the star. “Why is it black?” she asks, her voice soft and innocent.

“This tattoo represents guidance. I chose solid black, to remind me to stay on the right path, and to never go back to my old habits.” Carly Jo is clearly confused, but she doesn’t know about the demons I battled with drug abuse and alcoholism.

“What do you mean, old habits?” My nerves begin to tick, but I pull her down onto me, and kiss her cheek.

“We playin’ twenty questions now, darlin’?”

“Asshole,” she says, playfully slappin’ my chest. “I just want to know everything Colton.” 

“I know darlin’, and we have plenty of time for talkin’. But right now, I really need a shower to wash the soot off of me, and you, well, you’re covered in coal now too.” I laugh, wipin’ the soot from her soft cheek. She grabs her cheeks, and blushes. Jumpin’ from the bed, she pads off to the bathroom to look at her face.

“Damn it Colton! I hate the smell of this shit!” She yells back at me, scrubbin’ the soot from her face with a gritty cleanser.  Wrappin’ my arms around her waist, I pull her to me, pressin’ my dick to her ass, and nuzzle her neck.

“Shower, now.” I grumble at her. I turn the shower to hot as hell, lettin’ the steam envelope the bathroom. I grab Carly Jo by her hips, and guide her into the shower. Runnin’ my fingers through her hair, the hot water cascades over us. I can’t keep myself from touchin’ her. I don’t need sex, I just need to touch her, have my hands on her; have her close to me. I crave her touch.

Leanin’ back into me she moans, and it is the sexiest sound I have heard. I tug her close to me, and inhale her sweet scent. “Damn, you smell amazing.” She turns around, and tips up on her toes to kiss me. I tug her hair back, exposin’ her neck, as I begin to feather kisses down her tender throat. Grazin’ her collarbone, I nip, and bite at her flesh, until my lips have met her plump breast. Takin’ a nipple in between my lips, I nibble at her, suckin’ and kissin’ playfully. It doesn’t take long to lose control with Carly Jo’s wet, slick body pressed up against me.

Slammin’ her against the wall of the shower, I run my fingers between her thighs, and tease her clit, already swollen and moist. Oh shit. All thoughts escape me, besides buryin’ myself deep inside of her. Grabbin’ her by the ass, I lift her to me, and thrust deep inside of her slick pussy. So hot and tight, I nearly come
apart in an instance. I grind deep inside of her at a steady pace as she claws at my shoulders, groanin’ in ecstasy. Her cries are my undoin’, as I shove into her one final time, reachin’ my release. I rest my forehead against hers, as we stare into each other’s eyes, pantin’ for our next breath.

Settin’ her feet to the floor, I kiss her forehead, then lather up a loofa with the cherry blossom scented body wash. “You’re going to smell like me.” She giggles, her eyes still filled with lust.

“Damn right, baby. I’m washin’ you first, then you can wash me. I want your scent all over me. It’s intoxicatin’.” My voice is a husky grumble. I glide the loofa over the contour of her body slowly, makin’ a mental note of every delicate curve. I could run my rugged hands all over her delectable body all damn day. She takes the loofa from my hand, reapplies more body wash, and works at scrubbin’ the stained soot from my flesh. Having her hands rubbin’ over me so wildly, hardens me instantly. I could take her sweet ass again, right now. That thought is temptin’, but I’ve worked up an appetite after already havin’ her twice.

We rinse the suds away, and step out of the shower. We dry each other, our gazes still locked, like we’re searchin’ the other’s soul for unknown answers. She reaches up on her toes and kisses me softly, before paddin’ off to the closet to get her clothes. I wrap the towel around my waist and sit on her bed. “Darlin’, I’m naked.” I glance at her, with a shit eating grin on my face.

“Uhm, yeah you just took a shower. Put some clothes on. I’m starving.”

“My bag’s in the truck. Go get it for me, please?” I pout my bottom lip out for emphasis.

Rollin’ her eyes, Carly Jo pulls her tank over her chest, and laughs, “Okay, I guess I can’t keep you naked and tied to my bed all night.”

“Damn, sweetheart, don’t you even tease.” I swat her ass firmly, and she winces.

Slappin’ my arm playfully, she kisses me before turnin’ to pounce down the steps. I lay back on the bed, lacin’ my fingers behind my head and smile like a dumb ass horny teenager who just got his first lay. But this means more than any of that. This is startin’ over.

“What are you smiling about?” Carly Jo asks, droppin’ my bag at my feet.

“You shouldn’t have to ask.”

Carly Jo’s eyes widen and all of the color has drained from her face, as she climbs up on the bed slowly, and trails her fingers down my left rib. “Tell me the story.” Her voice, barely audible. Frig. She continues to trace the outline of the tattoo, carefully examining the detailed art work. Anxiety rises up in my throat and I can’t find my voice. Wincin’ my eyes shut, I hear her whisper again, “Colton, please. Tell me the story.” Wrappin’ my hand around her wrist, I pull her tight to my side, as I begin to tell her the story of my broken heart.

COLTON

Clustered thoughts race through my mind, and I can’t sort through the memories to decide where to begin. Takin’ another long deep breath, I shake my fears and begin to tell Carly Jo about the tattoo on my left ribcage. If we stand any chance at healin’, I have to be honest with her about everything in my past. I’ll no longer bury secrets. She deserves better than that, and always has. I was just a dick, not to see it.

“Darlin’, when you left, you ripped my beatin’ heart right out of my chest, leavin’ it to die in your hands. I was already frayin’ at the edges, and out of control. But when Big John told me you were gone, for good, I unraveled at the seams. See, what you don’t know is I had a drug addiction. When I tore my ACL, the doctor gave me medicine to control the pain, oxycodone. My knee hurt so damn bad, I would pop oxys like they were Smarties. Before I knew it, I was hooked. After my knee healed up, I kept askin’ the doctor for more meds, and I guess he could see my addiction, so he refused. So, I turned to the streets, throwin’ any pill I could find down my throat.

“We were livin’ different lives, you were still in high school, and I was frickin’ lost in this world, after losin’ my football scholarship. Damn, all I ever wanted to do was play football, but thanks to jackin’ up my bitch of a knee that washed all of those dreams down the drain. So I partied, and I partied with anyone who would party with me.
Me and the boys would crash frat parties, up at EKU and UK, every damn weekend, in search of whatever could light me up.” I pause, briefly tryin’ to find the courage to go on.

“That’s where I met Heidi Jo’s Momma, Kari. She would party with us on the weekends up at UK.  She meant nothin’ to me, other than a piece of ass. We were both high and drunk. Not a good combination. It only happened once. When I woke up the next mornin’ with her arms wrapped around me, I lost my shit. I told her it was a mistake, and it would never happen again, because of you. She just laughed at me. Three months later, she showed up at the mines wavin’ ultra sound pictures in my face, tellin’ me I was gonna be a daddy. Shit, I didn’t know what to say, what to think, what to do. I was pissed, so naturally I said things I can never take back. Things that never should have been said. She began to cry, which made me feel like an even bigger dick. So I held her and told her it would be okay, that we would figure it out. I was raised to be a respectful man, and there’s no way I would ever turn my back on my own flesh and blood. She agreed to a paternity test, so we went to the hospital the followin’ week to have the tests ran. I told Big John I needed the day off, because I had an appointment with my orthopedist, but he knew better than that shit. Kari and I were sittin’ in the Outpatient Lobby, waitin’ to be called back for testin’, when Big John came strollin’ through the hospital, and saw us sittin’ there together. Damn bastard followed me there. He didn’t say a word, just nodded his head, lettin’ me know that I’d been caught. He had already caught me crushin’ pills at the mines, a few months before. But he talked to me, and I promised I’d get myself straight. Knowin’ that I had screwed up so royally, gave Big John the fuel to burn our relationship to the ground.

“When I came into work the next morning, he called me into his office and gave me an ultimatum. I was to break up with you, and be out of your life for good, or he was gonna piss me for drugs, then fire me. I couldn’t afford to lose my job, not with Heidi Jo on the way. So I decided to break up with you, until I could find the right way to tell you everything, hopin’ you would understand. We broke up a few days later. I’m sure you remember the gut wrenchin’ details, so we can skip that shit.” I begin to clinch the sheet of the bed, tryin’ to suppress the anger that is building within me. I’ve relived this story over and over like a broken record, and finally, friggin’ finally the endin’ just might be changin’. I rub my hand across my forehead roughly, wipin’ away the beads of sweat that are formin’ there from my distress, before goin’ on.

“The next evening, when I came out of the mines at the end of my shift, the Superintendent told me Big John wanted to see me. I just assumed he wanted to see if his dirty deed was done, but when I walked into his office, I was met with a crazed son of a bitch, and a right hook to the jaw. He told me you were gone, no explanation, just gone. He fired my ass and told me to stay the hell away from his family. I left the mines and raced over here, hopin’ that he was lyin’. I was gonna tell you everything if I caught up with you in time, because even if I would have lost you, at least you would have known the truth, and you deserved the truth. But I was too late.

“There wasn’t much more to life for a while, other than stayin’ drunk and high. The paternity test came back that Heidi Jo was my baby. Kari tried so hard to make us work. I went along with the motions of bein’ an expectin’ father, attendin’ all of her OB/GYN appointments with her, shoppin’ for baby clothes and nursery furniture. It was useless. There was only one woman made for me, and you were gone.

“Pops gave me a job, drivin’ a coal truck for Dalton Truckin’, so I could provide for Heidi Jo once she came into the world. But I was hell bent on stayin’ shit faced. Momma told me to settle down, but I refused. I had no reason to live, I simply didn’t care. Even Kari dyin’, givin’ birth to Heidi Jo wasn’t enough to open up my eyes. 
             

“Left alone with a newborn baby, at the age of twenty, I was scared shitless. I tried to take care of her, with Momma’s help of course, but it was impossible. Hell, Momma has basically raised my sweet girl.” I grit my teeth to stow the buildin’ anger. Damn, I’ve made some stupid ass mistakes in my life.

“Too much stress in such a short amount of time. The oxy just wasn’t curin’ my cravins’ any longer. I needed more. So, I started snortin’ coke. I hid it well. I’d only get my fix on my last haul of the night. But one night, I nearly killed myself, ridin’ high. I hit black ice and slammed in to the hillside going fifty-five miles per hour. I was a lucky son of a bitch, just a few cracked ribs.

“After I was released from the hospital, I was arrested and charged with DUI. Pops couldn’t even look at me, he was so disgusted. When I walked into the court room at the arraignment, I searched the faces of every individual in there, looking for Pops, but he wasn’t there. But Big John was. Sittin’ in the back by the doors. He paid my bail, but before takin’ me home, he made me make a promise to him. Your daddy told me that it was all his fault that you had left, that he shouldn’t have stuck his nose in our relationship. He was merely protectin’ his princess. He

wanted me to get my life straightened out, so when you did come home, you would come home to your Colton, the man you had fallen in love with when we were just kids. Not the shell of a man I had become.”

I look down at Carly Jo, and she’s expressionless. I trail my finger slowly up her arm, but she doesn’t move, she is froze solid, by my side. “So, the story of the tattoo is my broken heart. With you in my arms, my heart beats strongly, pumpin’ blood through to my other organs, keepin’ me alive. But when you left, it felt like you ripped my heart straight from my chest, leavin’ my heart to die in your hands.

“These lines represent my heartbeat, and the blood that flows through my heart. But when you ripped my heart in half, the blood stopped pumpin’, and I died inside. I was literally lifeless. That’s why half of the heart, the half with your name through it, is still red and vibrant. Because I can only live with you.” I grasp her hand and place it on my heart, so she can feel the beating against my chest. “But without you, baby,” I close my eyes, shakin’ my head at the thought, “without you, my heart is hardened, black and dead.”

I tug her tighter to my side, and wipe away the tears that are free fallin’ from her gorgeous hazel eyes. Carly Jo cradles her arms tight around her waist, embracin’ herself, as she pulls away from me. Her silent tears turn to wrack sobbin’ cries. I just let her cry. It crushes my heart, but she has to let the pain out. Smoothin’ the dark waves down her back, I try to comfort her, while she releases her heartache.

“I-I’m s-s-s-soooo s-ss-sorrry, Colton. S-ssoo ss-sssorrry.”

“Shhhhh, please, darlin’. Please don’t cry anymore.” Pressing her cheek to my chest, I whisper softly in her ear, “Listen, do you hear that? My heart is beatin’, but only because I have you. I love you, Carly Jo. Please, no more tears. When you cry, my heart wants to break. I need you, sweetheart. Please, just listen to the beat of my heart, and know that you’re the reason it beats.”

Carly

I lay, curled next to Colton’s warm body, and listen to him tell me the story of his tattoo. The deeper he gets into the story, the louder my heart screams. The tattoo, a simple heartbeat line that flows into a vibrant red heart. Reaching the shatter in the center of the heart, the heartbeat flat lines, as blood drips in the middle. The other half of the heart is black, and dead. Through the heartbeat, my name is scrolled in script.

Seeing this tattoo, hearing the story behind it, as Colton describes the last seven years of his own personal hell, makes me realize, I did this to him. I caused him gut wrenching anguish. All because I left. I…broke…him.

Wrapping my arms tight around my waist, I pull away from Colton, hugging myself tight. I don’t deserve his touch. I don’t deserve him. All this time, I have blamed Colton for leaving m
e. But that isn’t true. I left him. I was unreasonable. I could have saved us both from seven years of gut ripping heart ache, but I was young and stupid. If I hadn’t ran, we could have faced our struggles together. We would have had our child, we would have our happily ever-after. It would have been an uphill battle, but our love would have pulled us through. But there is no turning back now. What’s done, is done. In the past.  Although I don’t think I can ever forget. I can never forgive myself for destroying our family.

Colton wraps his strong arm around my waist, and tugs me tight to his side. Running his nose up the side of my jaw, he wipes away my tears. “Don’t you dare pull away from me like that, baby. Don’t reject me now. No more tears. My heart breaks a little more each time a tear escapes your gorgeous hazel eyes. Please, baby, no more cryin’.”

Colton holds me tight, until I cry my last tear. He caresses my back and whispers sweet words of love into my ear, until my breathing calms. When I have finally settled down, Colton places a sweet soft kiss on my lips.

Glancing over at the clock on the night stand, he releases a deep sigh, then stands to dress. One look at his tightly sculpted ass, my core clinches and all pain is erased momentarily from my thoughts.  As he pulls his shirt down his chest, he smirks, “like what’cha see, darlin’?”

My cheeks redden, but I can’t help but to reply, “Hell yes!” His eyes grow passionate and he pulls me up from the bed, tight to his chest, as he grips my hair tight in his fist.

“Baby, I’d enjoy nothing more than to make love to you again, but you have worked up my appetite. It’s dinner time.”

I sigh deeply, then reach up on my toes and kiss his cheek. Colton smiles, then stares deep into my eyes, and says, “Stay with me tonight, baby.” He doesn’t ask…he demands. Nerves twist into knots in my stomach, as I feel anxiety creep into my chest.

“Colton, I’d love to. I-I just don’t know. I don’t think I could stay in your parent’s home. I think it would be disrespectful.” Colton laughs. Yep, he just laughs at me.

“Baby, get your things. You’re stayin’ with me tonight, end of discussion. Now get movin’.”

Colton breaks our embrace and turns to leave the room, just as I begin to protest. Throwing his hand up, he stops me, “Ah, don’t even. Get your things, and be downstairs in five minutes, or we’ll be late for supper. Scoot, woman.”

I toss the necessities in a gym bag quickly, then pad down the stairs in search of Colton. He is standing in the kitchen, with his hand on the refrigerator door, just staring.

“Hey, I’m ready.” He doesn’t reply. I move closer to him, and see that he is staring at the picture that Heidi Jo drew for me. Laying my hand on his arm, I ask him if he is ok. He gives me a blank stare, then pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, I’m good. Let’s get goin’. I’m sure Heidi Jo’s in fits wantin’ to see her daddy.”