Covertly Strong (The Strong Series Book 1) (9 page)

To the outside world, the name Sloan Walker has been long forgotten.

But deep down, she will always be Sloan, the girl who knows without a doubt that two of the most incredible people had brought her into this world. Her mother, Maria Milochana Sanchez Walker was originally from Spain. She met Sloan’s father while he was stationed overseas. United States Navy Vice Admiral John Walker met his Spanish wife in a small village just outside of Alicante, a historic Mediterranean port on the Costa Blanca. They were married within six months, granting Sloan’s mother American citizenship.

Her parents eventually moved to the States, where they had Sloan and her father continued his prestigious naval career. John Walker was a highly decorated officer. Throughout his military career, he received two Silver Stars and ten personal combat decorations. He was the strongest, most courageous man she ever knew. For nineteen years, she was blessed with two of the most amazing people a girl could ask for.

And then calamity struck.

Her parents died tragically in a car accident while she was away at college.

She found it sadly ironic that her father—who had been faced with some of the most dangerous, combative situations throughout his Navy career—was ultimately killed by a drunk driver speeding through a red light into incoming traffic.

They were killed instantly.

This was one of the most difficult times in her life. In a matter of seconds, she went from having two loving parents to being
alone
. Because of her father’s career, which required constant transfers across the globe, she had very little family and friends to speak of. This is probably why Sloan felt compelled to take the CIA up on their offer of recruitment. It gave her a fresh start, the possibility of a new life.

In her mind, she had no reason to maintain her true identity.

She’s been working with the CIA for ten years. Even throughout med school, she was involved in covert, top-secret operations. She spent her summers during graduate school traveling to third-world countries under the pretense of providing humanitarian efforts to underdeveloped nations lacking medical care, but in reality, she was gaining intel on some of the world’s most dangerous criminals.

Once she got a taste of being L-55, she never wanted to look back.

This job is in her blood now. It’s her passion—her sole reason for waking up every day.

L-55’s primary focus is international drug cartel. She’s strategically placed in areas suspicious for high drug activity and trafficking to the United States under the pretense of providing charitable surgeries for Project Smiles.

By day, she’s the picture-perfect surgeon.

By night, she’s L-55.

Being an only child and having very little extended family allowed Sloan to leave her old life behind without difficulty. Her mother’s relatives still reside in Spain, and most of her father’s family members are either dead, unknown, or living thousands of miles away. And the friends she gained during med school only know her as Dr. Felicia Santora. They believe the lie—that her life’s purpose is to continue international humanitarian efforts with Project Smiles.

She tries to tell herself that her decision to work for the CIA had everything to do with how she was raised. Her father showed her the pride, honor, and dignity that comes with serving your country. Although she’s not directly serving the United States of America from a military standpoint—or any capability that normal people would realize—she’s still striving to protect her nation. She lives a life of concealed operations, top-secret assignments, and constantly putting herself in dangerous situations to ensure that her fellow Americans are safe. Safe from terrorists, drug lords, international criminals, and any other threat to her country’s homeland.

But is that really why she chose this life?

Sloan doesn’t allow herself to contemplate this difficult question. Otherwise, she would have to face the stark realization that maybe her reasoning for giving up the chance at a normal life had more to do with the devastating losses she has faced than the actual pride she gains from serving her country. She lives her life by focusing on the present—the here and now. She concentrates on her assignments—her top-secret career. She refuses to allow anything to get in the way of her job and the fact that she continually operates at the highest level without fear.

Agent L-55 is highly trained. She can hack into any computer and gain intel on anyone. She can face some of the world’s most despicable human beings head on without showing an inkling of terror. She can kill a man in fifteen different ways, and even though her kill count in the CIA is classified, it goes without saying that she’s had to put those defense skills to use on more than one occasion.

Bottom line, Agent L-55 is a badass in her own right—really fucking amazing at her job.

Tonight, Sloan will be Dr. Felicia Santora.

The thirty-two-year-old plastic surgeon who prides herself on running a charitable organization known as Project Smiles. She travels to third-world countries to perform surgeries on children born with facial birth defects, primarily focusing on cleft lips and cleft palates. Consistently known as a phenomenal surgeon who graduated at the top of her class from Harvard Medical School, she also writes a small medical column for one of the biggest newspapers in the country.

She will be giving a speech this evening at the Navy Compassionate Warriors Dinner commemorating the men who risk their lives for the good of her country. Project Smiles has received many donations from the US military to support their ongoing cause to provide underserved countries with proper medical care. And that’s the sole reason Sloan will be in attendance tonight.

From a secret agent perspective, she has doubts about attending this dinner. There are underlying concerns that any known connections with the United States military could be used against her, but she reminds herself that Dr. Felicia Santora would not worry about this. She would accept any and all help to support her passion for helping others.

Her bare foot rests on the coffee table as she sits comfortably on the small, brown, leather loveseat inside the barren studio apartment that’s a few blocks from Fisherman’s Wharf. Sloan doesn’t really have a home per se. She has places of residence scattered across the United States, but none of them are actually
home
. Her parents’ house in San Diego could be considered home, but unfortunately, it’s still a place that’s too painful for her to visit. She’s never had the heart to sell their house, and she’s hired numerous people to maintain the gorgeous, Spanish-style two-story, but it’s been years since she’s stepped foot there.

She only keeps four small tokens of her past with her at all times.

Her father’s medals.

A picture from high school graduation—Sloan dressed in her cap and gown, wrapped inside her parents’ ecstatic embrace.

Her mother’s necklace—a heart-shaped locket that holds a picture of Maria Walker beautifully pregnant with Sloan. The back of the locket is inscribed with her father’s words.
My love, My life, Always - JW

And the last piece of her past is a letter she’s kept with her for over fourteen years.

It’s not just any letter, but a letter that reminds of her a love that was so strong—
so deep
—that she’ll forever be reminded of the boy with the gorgeous blue eyes and contagious smile.

The only person who could make her heart skip a beat.

When she looks back on the past—on her relationship with Nixon West—she knows with certainty that he was her first love. And it wasn’t because he was her first date, or first kiss, or the first person she gave herself to—it’s because he is the one guy she forever compares everyone else to. The one person she will never really get over even though she’s convinced herself she’s moved on.

She’s never found that kind of connection with anyone else.

The letter is a bittersweet reminder of the one and only part of her past that still manages to make her feel sentimental and wistfully aware of all of the things that might have been.

Of course she’s had the urge to track him down over the years…

But what would be the point in that?

Yes, she has the resources at her disposal to pinpoint his exact location and find out what he’s doing with his life, but her affiliation with the CIA would make it impossible to ever lay eyes on him again. At times, she’s toyed with the idea of just finding out where he is, what he’s doing, what his life is like, but the idea of him happy and married and living the life Sloan knows she’ll never have would hurt too goddamn much.

She walks into her bedroom and pulls the small, brown box filled with her past from the back of her cedar closet. The past beckons her to remember, to savor the memories of the life she no longer lives. She swipes her hand across the top of the lid, her fingerprints leaving track marks through the dust. Her heart beats loudly in her chest as she slowly opens the sentimental box. The musty smell assaults her nostrils, leaving her feeling reflective and reminiscent.

Tears prick at her eyes as she affectionately smiles down at the picture of her graduation day. Her father grinning proudly at the camera, his gray eyes filled with pride. Her mother’s smile gentle and warm, encompassing the tenderness of Maria Walker.

“I miss you both…
so much
,” Sloan whispers into the stillness of the room. “I’d do anything to have just one more day with you.”

Peaceful silence fills her ears as she holds her mother’s locket in her hand. Her thumb rubs back-and-forth motions over the sentimental inscription. If Sloan lived a normal life, she would wear this locket close to her heart every single day. It would be a lovely, poignant reminder of her mother—the one woman who gave her unconditional love and was always there for her no matter what. She was her shoulder to cry on, the one person she could tell anything.

She misses that the most—Maria Walker’s wise words, gentle heart, and open arms. If she could have her mother back for one day, she’d want to spend it in her parents’ old house, sitting at the kitchen table, listening to her mother talk about life, love, and everything in between.

The wise words her mother once told her when she was young and devastated over missing Nix echo inside her mind
. “If you really need him, Sloan. If you’re both meant to be—fate will bring him back. It might not be tomorrow or next week or even a year from now, but he’ll come back, sweetheart.”

Her eyes find the crumpled envelope that holds the letter—the only letter she saved from Nix. The last letter she received from him before everything fell apart. She hates that she’s never received closure from that relationship. Even now—so many years later—Sloan doesn’t understand what happened.

Was it the distance? Or did he just stop loving me?

She has tried to convince herself that the distance is what made it impossible for their relationship to continue. They were young and had zero control over the life circumstances that seemed to continually be placed in their path.

When she reflects back on her relationship with Nix, it’s hard for her to believe that they met so young. Sixteen is hardly old enough to understand real love, but in her eyes, that’s exactly what they had. They had a love that was almost too strong for their naïve minds to comprehend. She regards that period of her life as one of the best.

When she moved to Honolulu, she was furious that it was halfway through her sophomore year of high school. She was exhausted of being the new girl everywhere she went, but she knows now that she got damn lucky that year. She met
him
. A boy who took her under his wing and made the year she spent in Honolulu the best year of her teenage life—
her whole life
.

God, did I love Nix.

There is still a small ache deep inside her chest when she remembers that period of her life—the point in time when everything was ripped apart at the seams because her father was transferred to Naples. Despite the promises they’d made to each other, their love story was cut short. To this day, she still has questions.

Why did his letters, his phone calls just stop?

The only other time in her life where she felt more pain was the day she lost her parents. The pain of losing your first love is something you never really get over. And it’s even harder when that relationship ends without a goodbye, without closure, with so many unanswered questions.

Sloan received her final letter from Nix one year after her family had relocated to Naples. Shortly after that, her family was on the move again. John Walker was transferred to Naval Air Facility Misawa in Honshu, Japan. She tried to convince her young heart that this was the final straw for Nix. She told herself that he just couldn’t handle the ridiculous distance anymore. That always seemed like the better choice in reasoning rather than trying to comprehend that he might have stopped loving her.

Her family didn’t move back to the States until after she had graduated high school and was getting ready to head off to college. That was when her father finally retired from his Navy career and when her parents settled down permanently in San Diego.