Covet Not (32 page)

Raphe tore
his mouth away, but kissed the palm that pressed against his cheek. “I need to
come.”

“
Flood her then,” Jude said simply.

Their heads
were pressed together watching as Raphe did just that.

“
Your turn,” Raphe whispered into Jude's
mouth. Then he pushed him down.

He looked at
Clara's face as he slowly freed his cock, and she looked on the verge of
crying, but she smiled and turned to her side. Jude put his arm around her
automatically. His hand moved downward, and he strummed his fingers back and
forth over her asshole, slipping in, and feeling her bathed in Raphe as it
contracted around his finger.

Raphe had an
audience, so he was going to perform. And he wasn't going to fuck around
because Jude had been holding off longer than Raphe himself could have, so
Raphe's throat opened and he took every bit of him in quickly.

Jude hadn't
expected that, and he grabbed a handful of Raphe's hair and snapped his hips
up. He was pulling on Clara's ass like he was a hook, and he'd caught her. She
didn't think he realized he was doing it.

It didn't
take him long. Once Raphe started swallowing around his head, he came so
violently that the only way to measure it was on a Richter Scale.

LII

Shula felt a thousand needles
pricking her skin over and over. The warmness below her and surrounding her
burned. Certainly when this close to death, her brain could convince her body
that she was comfortable. The connection between the two was corrupt, but the
pain distracted her from her guilt. What's a little lie before death, after
all? Especially if one is just lying to themselves.

She wasn't
shivering anymore, so she held on to that small comfort.

And once
death finally took her, she hoped to never be found. It would be the smallest
of mercies, but she would request a one on one with God to keep her hidden.

She'd made a
ridiculous decision. After what she endured, it made desecration seem like a
minor infraction.

Jared would
mourn and she wanted to be dead before she imagined him doing so.

Shula was so
tired. The sound of running water lulled her further. She imagined it warm, and
it became so, and for a moment she wasn't scared.

It wouldn't
be long now.

She imagined
hands pressing into her wounds and her breath caught at the pain. She could
hear words echo in her head
‒
a tremendous amount of pain
‒
, and she didn't understand the purpose of
the words.

The water
grew warmer, and she started to shake. She'd made peace, but this was
unbearable. She wanted to drift into death, but it seemed the hurdles to cross
over were more difficult than actually embracing the cold and hoping they'd
find her dress.

If dying
wasn't a relief, she wasn't going to stick around for it. She needed to wake up
so she could hear them over the water. She was tucked into a corner bathed in
mud, so even if they found the dress, they may not see her.

Shula opened
her eyes and saw it was too late.

She was
already haunting Jared.

She closed
her eyes and exhaled audibly.

“
Shula, wake up. You need to wake up.
Please, will you?”

“
I'm not asleep.” She opened her eyes
again. “I don't think.” She felt his arms tighten around her and heard his
relieved sigh. “Wait. I'm not...you found me?”

“
Well, I didn't. Jude did.”

“
But I was naked.”

He
nearly laughed. “And you needed to be found. You were fairly caked in mud, so
you were plenty modest.”

She
remembered the mud. She loved the mud. But not in the bath. “This water is
gross.”

“
Mud. And it's been refreshed
a half dozen times.”

“
Can I have a shower?”

“
Of course. We need to make
sure your body temperature is regulated. You're still shivering.”

“
Ah.” She didn't know what
else to say, but the last couple of days came back to her. The silence went
from fine to uncomfortable in a short span.

Jared
cleared his throat. “Clara's back.”

Shula
moved her head to look at him, but realized she wasn't ready. She needed to
keep her eyes on the tightrope.

“
And she's pregnant.”

“
Oh God. How is she?”

“
She's fine. But Father hired
the man who got her pregnant to work on the farm.”

“
Can't say I'm surprised. How
is Jude taking it?”

“
So far, fine. Clara had been
locked up in the same room with the guy for months and they were intimate.
Their bond seems quite strong. He's very...pretty. Very different. Possibly
inclined like Jude, but I can't pinpoint why.”

“
Which would make things more
difficult with Clara. Your Father. We need to get rid of him.”

He
wanted to ask why she went out, but he was afraid of the answer. “Did Father
hurt you?”

Shula
shook her head. “He scared me. And he kept walking closer. I took the easiest
path away from him. I was looking for a place to hide and I fell in.” She
paused to catch her breath. Jared's hands moved up and down her back and she
closed her eyes. “I'm so sorry,” she whispered.

“
No.” He pressed his face to
her shoulder. “I have harmed you in ways that I'm not sure I could ever make amends
in the time we have left on the planet.”

Shula
didn't want to dismiss his declaration even though she felt like he'd likely
mourned her at least some. And God, he must've blamed himself. He would not
recover easily from it. Telling him that everything was fine wouldn't help. He
needed to feel it and she needed to be honest. “You know that I am yours to
take. Always. You're my religion. You're my Truth. But, that wasn't you...I
didn't recognize you and it was frightening.”

“
He won't be coming back.”
Jared's voice shook. “I promise.” He felt her relax against him and he blinked
back tears.

“
You can bring him back, just
not with me. You could eviscerate your father with that guy. He might be
useful.”

Jared
laughed, but his chest heaved, so Shula finally braved a look. He was trying
earnestly not to cry. “I was never going to leave you. Death didn't stand a
chance.”

“
I dug a hole,” Jared said
tightly.

Shula
didn't know what to say to that, but she didn't like it.

He
tried to steady his breathing. “When I found you, I was going to bring you back
here.” A pause. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. “I was
going to gather our bedding and make us a bed in that hole.”

“
Jared.” She was less shy
about her tears.

“
You need to know that I
can't be without you. I won't. I refuse to. Nothing holds meaning if I have to
do it alone. Because I know now. I know what life can be like. So it's simple.
Spending an eternity with you in my arms is a given. Everyone should be so
lucky.”

James
was impatient. Nothing was happening at the guesthouse.

Just
the quiet.

If
Jude hadn't beaten him yet, then maybe he'd found another use for him.

Not
surprising, but disappointing all the same.

Sofia
had just gotten into the shower, so James thought he would take a quick trip
back and see what was happening.

The
house was dark, though he could tell a light was on further into the house.

He
walked to the back, but there wasn't a break in the curtains to see inside the
bedroom. But there was nothing in the bathroom window that prevented him from
seeing the three naked bodies on the bed.

LIII

James leaned against the
counter in the bathroom crushing Selene's pills into a fine powder.

He needed to
find a way to give it to Clara and soon.

It was a
mistake bringing that little blond fucker into Texas. He could banish him from
the property, but he'd run to Jared's. He could call the law, but everyone knew
something. He'd been indiscreet with names and places, and that was unwise.

James let his
arrogance rule delicate situations where he'd wanted to inflict as much chaos
as possible, but he didn't have any sort of plan with longevity.

The people
around him weren't children any longer, not that it even mattered, but he liked
that the playing field was a bit more level.

He heard the
jarring sound of a blender and stood. He put the bag of powder in his pocket,
and went to see what Sofia was concocting.

When he
walked in the kitchen, he saw her slicing various fruits, a vegetable or two,
and some other root-like things he couldn't identify.

“
I hope you don't plan for me to drink
that.”

Sofia looked
back at him and smiled. “It is an old family recipe to build a healthy
placenta.”

“
That's not your job.”

Her finger
didn't move from 'pulse' but she looked back at him anyway. “I'm not working.”

“
Breakfast isn't waiting for me
‒
”

“
Actually, it is. There's a quiche and
bread pudding in the oven on warm. Pre-sliced.” She looked at him and frowned.
“I'm going to go get dressed and take Clara her juice. When I get back, maybe
you can outline exactly what I'm expected to do and at what time, and why that
information is different than what you told me my first day.”

He didn't
have anything to say. Had she been anyone else, this conversation wouldn't even
be happening.

He heard the
bedroom door close and he walked over to Clara's juice. He pulled the powdered
pills out and sprinkled them into her drink. He lifted the carafe and dissolved
the powder with a few quick snaps of his wrist. He put it back quietly, and grabbed
his coffee cup from the cabinet overhead.

The coffee
was always percolated perfectly. As was anything else she ever did.

But her one
flaw was stark against her perfections.

It was her
only flaw, and in the light of day, he could see it clearly. She would let him
play
at domination, but the rules changed once the morning arrived.

James had
hoped to subdue her organically, but that was looking less and less likely.

Have Not

VOLUME THREE

What Dreams May Come

To Be

What
Dreams May Come.

Sins of Lethe:
Book Five.

LIV

“
For in that sleep of death
what dreams may come

When
we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must
give us pause.”
–
William Shakespeare, Hamlet

“
It's what I'm willing to pay you for the
week to stay here with me.” It was Texas cash, and he didn't know the exchange
rate, but it was a small fortune.

For a whore.

Josiah didn't
understand why she wouldn't jump at that sort of money.  He knew in order to
entice her, he'd have to be able to care for her.

“
It's a fucking cliché is what it is.” Eve
was sitting at the edge of the bed in her clothes. She wanted to leave, but she
was curious about the pile of money.

But men who
tried to buy you for longer than a night always wanted more than sex, and that
was the only thing she was willing to give to men who paid for her.

She'd had men
before who had seemingly fallen in love with her and wouldn't or couldn't buy
more than an hour or a night. She felt bad for them, and their ignorant sense
of who she was.

Every man
whom she had ever fucked thought they knew her after. She let them keep on
thinking that. Their delusions told them they could be the one to pull her from
her life of selling her body to strangers.

But Eve
believed everyone was for sale. Everyone had a price. But not everyone was in a
position to discover what that was. And she'd rather have the freedom of
knowing, and using it accordingly.

Not that she
had anything against being a kept woman. Though admittedly, finding someone to
spend your life with was very difficult in this line of work. And no one really
forgets that you chose a life of getting paid. Then dealing with an ego that
takes pride in being the one who saved a whore from a life of anonymous degrading
lays.

Never mind
that she chose it. Never mind that her heart was intact.

She'd messed
up with Josiah. She hadn't charged him simply because it was her night off and
she liked him. She'd never had a Texan.

His talent
for enthusiastic fucking notwithstanding, she knew now that he was what he'd
said. It would be very difficult to shake him, but if she could make him lose
interest by the end of the week, then she'd have money and she'd never have to
see him again.

“
I thought this was how you made your
money.”

“
It is, but I don't have some golden snatch
that requires such an investment. So you must be trying to save me from a life
that you see as beneath me.”

“
It
is
beneath you. The Devil runs
rampant
‒
”

“
I'm sure.”

“
He whispers in your ear.”

“
My ear? What about yours?”

“
My path is set by the Lord.”

“
You fucked a prostitute last night. A
whore. And you liked it.”

“
I've already said my path is set. It is
not for you to doubt it.”

“
But you doubt mine.”

Josiah
laughed. “Of course I do.” He stood and walked to her. He put a hand on her
cheek. “Your name tells me all what God wants me to know. God speaks to me. I
may not always understand it, but in your case, He is clear.”

She
shouldn't. She really shouldn't. It was foolish, but she didn't believe he was
capable of hurting her. He clearly didn't have experience in courting or
chasing off women, and spending the week with her might help train him for the
real world. It would be money well-earned.

And even if
he wanted, she wasn't allowed in Texas, and she would call the fuck out of
immigration if she had to. Normally, they wouldn't care, but if she said he was
Texan, well, they'd come for the novelty of it. “Fine. A week. We'll go get
that exchanged, and deposit it into my account. Then I will stay the week with
you.”

Josiah didn't
have much experience with liars, so he didn't hear all the conditions that were
unspoken.

“
I'm not sure what a week will get you. I
guess that's plenty of time for you to fuck me stupid and fetch us dinner.”

Josiah
frowned. “I wish you wouldn't talk that way.”

“
Is that just a simple complaint or a
condition of payment.” She could be whomever he wanted.

“
I'd much prefer you choose not to speak in
that manner on your own.”

“
What's inherently wrong with it? I'm not
speaking ill of your god.”

“
Do you plan to argue and defy me the whole
time?”

Defy. That
fucker.
She shrugged.
“Depends how good you are with the belt.”

“
I wasn't aware that was done here. That's
reassuring.” The land of confusion had many people. He would never know them
all.

“
Is it done in Texas?” Eve asked,
incredulous. Maybe she should back out.

“
Of course
‒
”

“
And not just for fun?”

“
Why would you want to get spanked for
fun?”

Or not back
out. Eve decided then that she would ruin Josiah for all that obedient Texas
pussy. “What does a woman do that earns her a spanking? Dirty kids? Burn
dinner? Not fall to her knees fast enough?”

He hated her
crudeness. “It depends on the husband's expectations. Defiance is a big one.”

“
What if a husband wanted chicken for
dinner, but she made spaghetti instead? Because that's what she wanted.” She
was being a silly bitch, but she just couldn't fathom it.

“
That's just not done.”

“
How do you know? How many relationships
have you seen up close?”

“
Plenty, through church.”

Eve laughed.
“You are going to be miserable this week. I can play your submissive, but don't
think for a second any of it is real. You lay a hand on me without my
permission, there will be legal ramifications.”

“
I am paying you.”

“
Yes, you are, and that's a binding
contract, but that doesn't give you permission to do anything you want unless
you ask me first. Spankings and reprimands are turn-ons for me, but only in
private, and I'm very naughty so I earn each one. Without my permission, it is
assault.”

“
You forget, we are wed in the eyes of God
‒
” He knew she'd not acknowledge it that
morning, but it was Truth. They were one in the eyes of God.

“
Irrelevant. There are no special marriage
laws here. And we aren't legally able to marry here or in Texas, which leads me
to the next point. Your god is not someone you can use to try to convince me
that something is Right and Good.”

“
But, last night
‒
”

“
Last night, I thought we were playing.”

“
I wasn't playing. And God led me to you.”

“
And I'm not disputing your feelings nor
beliefs. What I don't understand is how it matters once this week is done. Even
if I fell in love with you and wanted to spend the rest of my life with you,
where does that leave us?”

“
My father has connections. He could get
you into Texas.”

“
You aren't listening to me. I would never
obey you because it's required of me. I would wear my punitive panties with
pride. And if you ever laid a hand on me that I didn't ask for, I would have no
recourse. You could beat me, and there's nothing I could do. Why would you want
that for me?”

“
It wouldn't be like that. I would never
‒
”

“
Josiah, you would. Because I will do so
many things that you don't approve of. And I won't stop them. I will embarrass
you in front of your friends and family. And I would taint your church. I do
not want children. Ever. Short of abuse, I can't think of how any of that would
be acceptable.”

“
God would change your heart.”

“
That thought is hysterical.”

“
Then, I would punish you.” She was
belligerent on purpose. She needed Heavenly Father so badly.

“
And you wouldn't wake up the next morning,
and I'd be calling the States to come fetch me. It would be a fucking
International Incident, and I won't be the one who looks bad.”

“
You don't think murder is bad?”

“
Self-defense. The rest of the world will
see a girl trying to escape a bad situation. The world will have proof. And
then the war that Texas has always wanted to win would be fought. And they
would fucking lose.”

“
Over you? Over an incident that you
deserved?” Josiah thought he was finally figuring out the problem of the
States. Losing God was obvious, but the immediate effects had demolished any
sort of social order. He knew not everyone in Texas was a believer and it
pained him. But order was still alive. They saw how important it was. There
were people who fought it in little ways, but order remained.

This was
chaos. It would be difficult to find God amid those who wouldn't know the first
place to find him.

And they knew
nothing of Texas.

Eve
interrupted his thoughts. “And that's the problem. No one deserves to be
treated like that. Like an abused fucking animal. That you would only treat me
kindly if I obeyed your every command. It pains me to think you really feel
that way. And the world is waiting for Texas to make one wrong move. It's
already in motion with your oil production changing the ecosystem of the Gulf.
Josiah, the world is huge. Billions of people. And this week, I can show you.”
She stood up to show she wasn't some meek thing who was afraid. “But, you have
to want to see it.”