Coveting Love (Jessica Crawford) (17 page)

Suddenly, she felt foolish and swallowed hard.

“
I’m fine, physically. I’m sorry I lied about the urgent matter, but it was important that I talk to you.”

“
It’s okay,” he said. “What’s so important?”

“
I have to know, what is the worst thing someone could do to ruin you?”

He paused, and then laughed. “You mean besides taking you away from me?” He stopped laughing when he heard her cry of distress on the other end.

“
I’m sorry. This is serious, isn’t it? I thought you were joking. I suppose the worst thing someone might do to ruin my business would be to cut me off from my buyers. Without them, I would not have a business. Although I do have some local contacts, the majority of my clientele is there, in New York City. Why do you ask?”

She was silent, not sure what to say. How paranoid was she being? Could Phillip Stewart really do anything to Brandon? She tried to make her question as nonchalant as possible.

“
You said you’ve never met Phillip Stewart, right?”

“
That’s right. I wouldn’t have any reason to deal with him. We’re in completely different businesses. I suppose he might know a few of my contacts. They probably move in the same social circles. What’s this all about? You aren’t making any sense.”

Between sobs, she relayed every detail of her conversation with Phillip Stewart. “I’m so afraid. I don’t know what to do about him. I think it would be best if we stopped seeing each other, before it’s too late.”

“
That’s crazy. I told you, Phillip Stewart couldn’t hurt me. My family’s reputation can stand up against anything Phillip Stewart throws my way.”

“
You didn’t see his face. He’s dead serious about this. I’m afraid for you.”

“
Your concern for me is deeply touching, but don’t worry about me. I’m certainly not going to stand by and let Phillip Stewart walk all over me. I won’t let him hurt you, either. I’ll do some checking on him, and see what I can dig up. Weasels like him usually have a few skeletons hanging in his closet.

“
I know you don’t know me well, but I also have some influential friends around. We’ll beat Mr. Stewart. You have my word.”

His words did reassure her. She knew talking to him had been the right thing to do. Only two weeks remained until the scheduled shoot in California. That didn’t leave much time to clear up things. Perhaps she should take a few days off, as Amy had suggested, and visit her mother.

She picked up the telephone again and dialed her mother’s number.

“
Hi, Mom,” she said.

“
Hi, sweetie.” Without a pause she added, “What’s wrong?”

“
Nothing’s wrong. I just felt like calling, that’s all.”

“
You can’t kid me, young lady. I raised you; I know when something is wrong. Spill it.”

Jessica chuckled, “No, really. I’m just fine. I thought I would drive out tomorrow and spend the day with you. I know it’s a long drive, but I really want to see you. I promise everything is fine. It’s just that you’re getting married soon, and I thought it would be nice to spend a little time together, just the two of us. Is that okay?”

“
Well, sure it’s okay. What time do you think you’ll get here?”

“
I’ll be leaving early in the morning. I should be there by nine.”

She hung up the phone with her finger, let go of the button, and dialed her office. When Sandy answered the phone, announced that she had reached Modern Fashions Magazine, and asked how she could help her, she asked for John. When he came on the line, she carefully explained to him what she needed him to do. He was a little impatient with her lack of trust in him, but brushed it aside, knowing she had been under a lot of stress lately. Next, she dialed Brandon’s number again and left a message that she would be at her mother's house. Then she went home and packed a few things. She already felt better just making the decision.

**********

CHAPTER 6

Sarah Crawford stood across the room watching her daughter laugh lightly while picking at her fingers. She didn’t buy her story about being stressed out over work. She had seen Jessica try to beat deadlines before, but she had never seen her act like this. She had quizzed her nonstop, trying to get to the root of the issue, but she could not put her finger on the problem. For one thing, the finger-picking habit was something Jessica had done since she was a toddler. It was how Sarah could tell if she was either lying about something, or worried about something. She caught Jessica in very few lies, so it was her guess that it must be something serious troubling her now.

Pastor Aaron put his arm lightly around Jessica’s shoulders. Sarah noticed an instantaneous relaxing to them. Pastor Aaron had that effect on most people in his flock (as he fondly referred to his congregation—active or otherwise). When Jessica had arrived the previous day, she looked like a wound-up tambourine monkey. Sarah knew instantly that a distraction was necessary.

Fortunately, it was time for her weekly visit to Loving Arms Children’s Home. Sarah, along with Pastor Aaron, made the visit at least once a week, more if her schedule would allow it, to visit the children who lived there. Loving Arms was a transitional group home for children who were not eligible for adoption, but who were unable for one reason or another to be placed in a permanent foster home.

She had been making this visit for most of her adult life. Jessica came regularly all through her adolescent years, and into college, too, when she was home on a school break. Now, whenever she could get some extra time away from work, she would come. But always for Christmas parties. The kids knew her well and welcomed her visits with shouts of glee.

Sarah watched Jessica as she sat down beside a new girl, Angela, who had just entered the home that same week. The girl looked frightened. Hostility danced in her eyes. Within moments, Sarah could see her relax. She thought she even saw the ghost of a smile tug at the corners of her mouth.

A favorite aspect of Jessica’s visit with the children was taking pictures of the kids. Jessica dug in her purse now and produced the image-maker that so fascinated the younger children. There was a whole wall dedicated to the photos Jessica took of the kids. Every year the wall was purged to make room for new photos. It was a group effort and the children would laugh hard as they passed around the photos before boxing them up, carefully marking the boxes for easy identification. Those leaving the home were welcome to take their photos with them; most did, but some didn’t want to be reminded of their stay in the transitional foster home.

Angela was fascinated by the camera and took it tentatively when Jessica placed it in her hands. She put it carefully up to her eye as Jessica showed her what to do, and giggled when she saw a miniature version of Jessica through the lens. Jessica then showed her how to push the button and take the picture. The therapy was working. Before long, Angela was all over the room taking candid shots of the younger children.

It was the first time Sarah had seen her laugh since her arrival. She hadn’t realized what a pretty girl she was, until she smiled.

Jessica came up to Sarah and hugged her. “Thanks, Mom. This was just what I needed.”

Sarah smiled and hugged her in return. “I thought it would help.”

“
What’s her story?” she asked, nodding toward Angela.

“
Neglect, and probably abuse,” Sarah answered sadly. “As usual, her mother has a drug problem and the father is out of the picture. They picked up her mother for prostitution, and she was high on crack. They had to take her to the hospital for a potential overdose. She told the ER doctors about her daughter—in between periods of consciousness, that is.

“
They tracked down her apartment, and sure enough there was Angela all alone and eating leftover pizza from about two days previous. There was nothing else in the house to eat. She hasn’t eaten much since she arrived here. The doctors are worried. They say she is underweight.”

Jessica shook her head. A stab of pity wrenched her heart. “Will she be returned to her mother?”

“
I’m not sure. Right now, it doesn’t look as though the mother cares, but with Angela’s current attitude, she isn’t even adoptable. They have her working with a therapist, but until tonight, nobody has been able to break through her armor. I’m impressed. How did you do it?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. She just looked so sad sitting there all by herself. I remembered when you bought me my camera and how good it made me feel. I was at such a lonely place in my life; it really helped. I thought if I could get her interested in it, then maybe, it would take her mind off her problems. How old is she?”

“
Seven. I know she looks small; she probably had some fetal alcohol syndrome, and maybe even withdrawals from her mother’s drug use when she was born. The social workers are still trying to figure out how her mother managed to keep her so long. They said she should have been taken from her at birth, but it didn’t happen. Apparently, the mother gave birth at home. They think that is how she managed to avoid the system. Her birth certificate seems to be legal, though. It’s so sad how these kids are brought up.”

They watched Angela for a moment. Neither woman spoke for a long time. Finally, Sarah turned to Jessica, “Are you up for some dinner?”

She took one last look at Angela and smiled. “You know. I think I am. Suddenly, at this moment, my problems seem trivial, and I am starving. Come on let’s go.”

They linked their arms, hugged as many children as they could, waved to the rest, and headed for the door. They were almost there when they heard Angela calling Jessica’s name. She stopped and turned as the child struggled from one of the aide’s grasp.

“
Jessica, wait.” she called. She ran breathlessly and threw herself into Jessica’s arms. She looked up into her face. Jessica hugged her tightly. She wiped the tears from her eyes.

“
It’s okay, Angela, you’ll be all right. This is a good place. They have lots of love to offer and all the food you can eat. You’ll make friends. You’ll be happy here. I promise.”

“
Will I have to go home soon?”

Jessica wasn’t sure if she meant would “she have to” or, “would she be able to.” She looked at her mother for confirmation, but Sarah only shrugged. Jessica stooped down beside the child.

“
Do you want to go home?”

She didn’t answer right away, but looked away with down cast eyes, as if ashamed. Then finally, she spoke, “It’s a bad place there. The men are mean and hit Mommy. Then Mommy gets mad and hits me.”

“
Do the men ever hit you?”

“
No. They only hit Mommy. Sometimes they are nice to me and give me kisses. Some of them yell at me to leave, and I hide under my bed until they leave. Then I go to bed and fall asleep. When I wake up, I fix breakfast for Mommy and me, if Mommy bought some food, only Mommy is usually too sleepy to wake up to eat it.”

Jessica looked at her mother. She wasn’t sure what to tell the child. She wasn’t a trained therapist. Sarah came to her rescue.

“
Angela, these people here are good people. They can help figure out where it is best for you to live. Dr. Lisa is very nice. She has a little girl about your age. You can talk to her about anything you want. Do you think you can do that, Angela?”

She nodded and said in a small voice, “I think so. Can I play with her little girl?”

The women smiled at each other. “You’ll have to ask Dr. Lisa, but I think that is probably okay,” Sarah said.

Angela squealed, delighted, and ran off to play.

Jessica watched her run off with a mixture of emotions. “I hope things turn out for her,” she said as they walked to the car.

“
It’s hard to tell now. You never know how these kids will turn out. Some of them go on and do well in school, while others fall victim to the system. Some have parents who put their child’s needs above their own. They know they can’t get it together enough to raise them, so they put them up for adoption. Other parents are selfish and refuse to give them up completely. They do more damage to the kids by floating in and out of their lives, while living in a stupor. The kids feel let down and grow up to retaliate. They take it out on society. They do the best they can here; I think they have a pretty good success rate. Occasionally, we get one who turns their life around to regain custody of the kids. They do all they can to help them out, but it’s ultimately up to the parent.”

Jessica stared pensively, and then impulsively bent over to kiss her mother on the cheek.

She beamed at her daughter. “What was that for?”

“
I just love you. Every time we come here, I am more thankful to have you for a mother. I don’t think I appreciate you enough until I see what these kids don’t have. Thank you for loving me, and thank you for giving up so much for me. I am the luckiest girl there ever was.”

Sarah smiled. She knew her daughter appreciated her, but it was always nice to be reminded.

“
Okay then. Shall we have the usual for dinner tonight?”

“
Yeah, I think so. I’d like to say hello to Frank and Ally. They still make the best chicken salads I’ve ever had.”

“
Even with all that fancy food you get in the city?”

“
The city is fine, and the dining is superb,” she said, smiling affectionately at her mother. But nothing compares to country cooking in my old home town.”