Cowboy Wisdom (2 page)

S
on, if you’re going to be a cowboy, let me give you two pieces of advice: Stick to herding steers—never work for a cow-and-calf
outfit. And never work for a man who has electricity in his barn. You’ll be up all night.

—A
NONYMOUS
quoted by William Albert Allard in
Vanishing Breed
1982

E
very cowboy thinks he knows more than every other cowboy. But the only thing they all know for sure is when’s payday and where’s
grub.

—L.L. R
OYSTER
Amarillo, Texas 1915

I
worked around cattle all my life, and I guess I learned all there is to know about it, and I think I can sum it all up in
one thing: You can’t drink coffee on a running horse—and a good thing, too.

—S
AMUEL
B
RENNER
Lubbock, Texas 1962

Y
ou raise kids, dogs, and horses all the same.

—R
AY
F
ARMER
Elko, Nevada c.1964

1. Be neat and clean.
   
2. Be courteous and polite.
   
3. Always obey your parents.
   
4. Protect the weak and help them.
   
5. Be brave but never take chances.
   
6. Study hard and learn all you can.
   
7. Be kind to animals and care for them.
   
8. Eat all your food and never waste any.
   
9. Love God and go to Sunday School regularly.
   
10. Always respect our flag and our country.
    

—R
OY

1. The cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man, or take unfair advantage.
   
2. He must never go back on his word, or a trust confided in him.
   
3. He must always tell the truth.
   
4. He must be gentle with children, elderly people, and animals.
   
5. He must not advocate or possess racially or religiously intolerant ideas.
   
6. He must help people in distress.
   
7. He must be a good worker.
   
8. He must keep himself clean in thought, speech, action, and personal habits. He must neither drink or smoke.
   
9. He must respect women, parents, and his nation’s laws.
   
10. He must be a patriot.
    

—G
ENE

I
promise:

• To be kind to birds and animals,
  
• To always be faithful and fair,
  
• To keep myself neat and clean,
  
• To always be courteous,
  
• To be careful when crossing streets,
  
• To avoid bad habits,
  
• To study and always learn my lessons,
  
• To obey my parents.
  

—H
OPPY

T
hese are the rules and regulations of this hotel.

• This house will be considered strictly intemperate.
  
• Persons owing bills for board will be bored for bills.
  
• Boarders who do not wish to pay in advance are requested to pay in advance.
  
• Boarders are requested to wait on the colored cook for meals.
  
• Sheets will be nightly changed once in six months—oftener if necessary.
  
• Boarders are expected to pull off their boots if they can conveniently do so.
  
• Beds with or without bedbugs.
  

All moneys and other valuables are to be left in charge of the proprietor. This is insisted upon, as he will be held responsible
for no losses.

—Posted at a Dodge City, Kansas, hotel c. 1888

T
alk low, talk slow, and don’t say too much.

—J
OHN
W
AYNE

Y
ou know, once, a long time ago, my dad told me something that I never have forgot. He told me that if all I knowed was cows
and horses, then I better not try to put something over on a feller if I have to get off the subject of cows and horses to
do it.

—R
ILEY
Texas panhandle 1932

O
ne day, I reviewed my life as a cowboy from every angle and come to the conclusion that all I had gained was experience, and
I could not turn that into cash, so I decided I had enough of it, and made up my mind to go home, get married, and settle
down to farming.

—F. M. P
OLK
Luling, Texas c. 1925

M
y dearest Louisa—

Well I have found work as a cow-boy here and as soon as I find honest work I will send for you and Sarah.…

—C
HARLES
S
MITH
Bagdag Ranch, Texas 1891

T
he cowboy gets up early in the morning, decides what he wants to do, then straddles his pony and gets to work. He does the
best he can and spends as little money as possible.

The politician gets up late in the morning, straddles the fence, spends all the money he can, gets all the votes lined up,
and then decides what to do.

—J
OE
M. E
VANS
EI Paso, Texas 1939

I
’ve always acted alone. Americans admire that enormously. Americans admire the cowboy leading the caravan alone, the cowboy
entering a village alone on his horse.

—H
ENRY
K
ISSINGER

I
t’s easy to say there are no atheists in foxholes, but it’s not as easy to say there are no atheists riding behind the back
side of a herd.

—L
UTHER
R
OBINSON
Tulsa, Oklahoma 1970

When life is over and my race is run,

When death shadows gather and my time has come,

When I’ve rode my last horse and have turned my last steer,

When my soul has winged its way to that celestial sphere,

When my grave has been dug and I’ve been laid to rest,

Please let it be in the far, far West.

—J. E. M
C
C
AULEY
Seymour, Texas1924

I want no fenced-in graveyard

With snorin’ souls about—

Just cache me in the desert

When my light goes out.

—A
NONYMOUS