Cowgirls Don't Cry (8 page)
Tell didn’t jump to Brandt’s defense either. “I’m with Dalton on this. It’s goddamn selfish of you to expect anything from Jessie except a knee to the balls.”
“Yeah? Then how come Jessie agreed to help out?” Brandt demanded. “If I’m such a flaming fucking asshole who doesn’t give a good goddamn about how she feels then why did she call Skylar and explain the situation? Why did she agree with me that it’d be better if I stayed overnight with her during the week instead of us dragging Landon back and forth between our places? Why did she—”
“I don’t know!” Dalton bellowed. “Was she drunk?”
“Fuck off, Dalton.”
Tell said, “Guys—”
“This is why we wanted you to stay away from Jessie, Brandt. You two keep hurting each other over and over and neither of you even realizes you’re doin’ it! Goddammit, do you know what it’s like for us to have to watch you both miserable—”
Landon started to wail, scared by the raised voices. Before Brandt could pick him up, Tell pulled the boy onto his lap. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re just a little freaked out by you and this whole situation. But we’re gonna do everything we can to make sure your needs are met above anyone else’s.”
No surprise Tell looked right at Brandt when he said the last part.
Tell said, “I don’t know if you’ve got some warped version of happily ever after floating in your head, bro, but even if you and Jessie do spend all this time together in close quarters taking care of Luke’s kid, you do know she ain’t gonna fall in love with you, right?”
Hurt, resentment, denial swelled up inside Brandt to the point he thought he might explode. But he tamped it down; refusing to lash out at Tell or give into the hair trigger temper he’d inherited from their father.
“More likely than not, when it’s all over, she’ll hate your guts for forcing her hand.”
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The thought of Jessie hating him had bile crawling up Brandt’s throat.
Dalton added, “Hate to agree with Tell, but I don’t see it endin’ up any other way, Brandt.”
Silence.
Then Tell, the peacemaker, said, “What was up with Uncle Carson givin’ Keely and Jack some land as a wedding gift?”
“Think Dad knew about it?” Dalton said.
“Probably. Typical that he didn’t tell us. But it doesn’t fit that he ain’t throwing a shit fit about it. He’s always insisted the McKay land trust won’t allow for pieces just to be handed out. Not even to the next generation. It has to be a unanimous decision.”
“Yeah, if I thought we could get part of our land parceled out to us and away from Dad’s control…”
Brandt snorted. “It’ll never happen. Dad’s gotta have something to lord over us.”
Dalton looked at both his brothers. “Think he’ll see Landon as something you’re tryin’ to lord over him?”
Brandt hadn’t considered that. God. He wasn’t like his father. Not everything he did was some sort of power play.
“We’d better get goin’, if we’re takin’ Landon over to Mom and Dad’s,” Tell said.
“The carseat is in my truck.” Brandt pushed to his feet. “Look, you guys can call me names, think I’m the biggest asshole on the planet, question my end game, but I’m askin’ that we at least pretend we’re on the same page in front of Dad.”
“Yeah, Dad will definitely home in on any weakness.”
“Do we let him know about Jessie helping out?”
“We have to. There’ll be hell to pay if he hears about it from someone else.”
“True.”
Brandt swung Landon into his arms. “Let’s get this over with.”
The meeting with his parents went about like Brandt expected. Rage on his father’s part, mostly directed at the woman who’d dared to keep Luke’s child a secret from his family. His mother cried a lot while she carted Landon around, enticing him to eat, then chasing him through the house. She looked happier than he’d seen her in years.
When Brandt relayed Landon’s childcare arrangements during the months he’d have guardianship, his father accused Jessie of trying to keep the boy from his real family out of spite. That was the last straw for the visit. Brandt pried Landon out of his mother’s arms amidst his father’s threats for legal action.
Dalton and Tell were quiet on the way back to Brandt’s place. They kept the boy entertained while Brandt loaded up Landon’s things and double-checked everything since he’d be gone for five days. After
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they agreed to meet at Dalton’s house to figure out the week’s work, Brandt made the forty-five minute drive to Jessie’s.
Something stirred in him when he saw Jessie sitting on the front steps with Lexie by her side. The afternoon had warmed up from the bouts of snow flurries earlier in the day and the wind blew random strands of her reddish blonde hair across her appled cheeks. She looked young, fresh and wholesome.
Which made him feel guilty as sin for the direction of his impure thoughts.
Landon kicked his feet to be let out of his seat. Brandt set him on the ground and the kid took off toward Lexie with a squeal of delight. When the dog cowered beneath the deck, Brandt plucked a plastic ball from one of the bins of toys in the back of his truck and tossed it into the yard. Landon held the ball, dropped it, threw it, moving as fast as his legs could carry him.
“Looks like he’s got some pent-up energy,” Jessie remarked.
“I figure it’ll be good for him to run around, get some fresh air, maybe he’ll sleep better tonight, bein’s he’s in a strange place.”
She scooted over, making room for him to sit beside her.
“How did it go with Skylar?”
“She’s one hundred percent on board with it. Probably more so than I am.”
Brandt said nothing.
“Sorry. It’s just… God, it’s really freakin’ weird, okay? I’m sitting here watching Luke’s kid run around, and I had such a close connection to Luke, but I also feel like I didn’t know him at all. I look at the kid and I don’t know what I feel. It didn’t help Skylar started saying all these things about how I should be nominated for sainthood for opening my heart and home to Landon, and I couldn’t take it. I had to leave.
And then, your mom called about a half hour ago.”
“What’d she say?”
“That she was sorry about how everything played out after Luke died, but she had no say in the matter since she had nothing to do with the McKay Ranch.” Jessie turned her head to look at him; Brandt had no choice but to meet her gaze. “Joan cried, Brandt. She broke down and basically said she can’t imagine how hard this is for me, but at the same time she feels like she’s been given a miracle.”
Dammit. “If she said—”
“No. That’s it. She said she wouldn’t fight her husband when it came to ranch matters, but when it came to matters involving her sons, she’d fight that mean bastard tooth and nail.”
Brandt knew neither he nor his brothers would’ve grown up to be half the men they were if not for their mother. She gave them the love and affection their father wouldn’t, even if she had to hide that affection from her husband. “Mom said that?”
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Cowgirls Don’t Cry
“Yeah. Said she’d do anything to help out, including taking Landon another day of the week to save you boys the hassle. She volunteered to drive here. Told me she’d lie to Casper if she had to, but she doubted he’d notice she was gone unless it was mealtime.”
“What did you say?”
“I reminded her the decision wasn’t up to me, that you’re Landon’s guardian, but we’d talk about it and you’d call her.”
“Is this a good idea, my mom takin’ care of Landon two days?”
Jessie sighed. “Yes, it’d be good for both of them. Besides, I’ve never had a problem with Joan. We weren’t best buddies, but I chalked it up to the fact she doesn’t have many female friends. Or your dad didn’t want us to be friends.”
Lexie had inched her way to the edge of the yard and seemed fascinated by Landon and his ball.
“I never understood why my dad was so mean to you, Jess. Well, besides the fact he’s an asshole and he pretty much acts like that toward everyone.”
She managed a wan smile. “Probably because Luke felt trapped and I’m the evil sorceress responsible for that entrapment. One time Luke told me Casper said…” Her mouth snapped shut. “Shit. Sorry. Never mind.”
“Tell me.”
“It serves no purpose, Brandt.”
“Wrong. Tell me.”
“Evidently Casper suggested I’d faked the pregnancy because I knew Luke would never marry someone like me without being forced into it.”
Brandt’s jaw tightened and he barely gritted out, “Luke just
said
this to you?”
“We’d had a fight and he’d been drinking and he said a buncha stuff that was just downright nasty.
The next morning he’d realized what he’d done, he hated himself for acting like his dad, and he apologized over and over. But it wasn’t like he could take any of it back. It wasn’t like he could pretend he’d just made it up, because we both knew it was true.”
He didn’t say a word. He couldn’t speak around the ball of rage clogging his throat.
Finally, Jessie put her hand on his arm. “Brandt? You okay?”
“No. It’s…I hate that I don’t realize what an assholish thing I’ve done until it’s too late.”
She frowned. “Like what?”
Like am I acting just like my dad? Forcing you into doing things my way and following my plan
regarding Landon because I know your weak spots and know just how to exploit them?
Before he could give her a less honest, less painful answer, Landon face-planted and commenced to wailing. Brandt was off the steps in an instant, but he didn’t beat Jessie to Landon’s side.
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She cocked the boy on her hip and murmured, “You’re okay,” and brushed the dried grass from his hair.
Landon stared at Jessie and then squirmed toward Brandt.
“Think he’s hungry?”
“Maybe. Come to think of it, I’m hungry.”
“Your Uncle Brandt is always hungry so I know you won’t starve when he’s taking care of you.”
Brandt grinned. “As long as the kid likes meat, potatoes and veggies, we’ll get along fine.”
“What? No super spicy chicken wings? No cheesy nachos with jalapenos?”
“Nope. I gave most of that kinda stuff up.”
“Well, whatever you’ve been eating, keep it up. If I haven’t mentioned it, you look great.” Jessie headed for her house, leaving Brandt staring after her, dumbfounded.
A compliment? From Jessie? Out of the freakin’ blue?
What did she want?
Not everything is a power play. Maybe she was just being nice.
While Brandt unloaded the truck and set up the crib in the spare bedroom, Jessie cooked hamburgers and macaroni and cheese. Landon ate a pile of food and almost fell asleep in his high chair. Brandt probably would’ve just put the kid in his jammies and tucked him in bed, but Jessie suggested a bath.
Turned out Landon was a kid who didn’t enjoy baths. It was like wrestling a wet worm—an angry, screaming wet worm. Once he had Landon cleaned up, dried off, freshly diapered and wearing pajamas, Brandt was ready to nod off. But he prepared Landon’s bedtime bottle and settled in the recliner.
Landon made short work of the bottle and was out. Brandt placed him on his back in his crib, tucking the covers around the sleeping boy.
Jessie glanced up from the kitchen table when he returned to the living room. “Is he down?”
“Yeah. I didn’t think it’d be that easy. Quinn is always complaining about how hard it is to get Adam to go to bed.”
“Adam’s a little older and it is harder when a kid is past the ‘bottle before bed’ age.”
He sank into the couch. “That’s the second time you’ve mentioned the bottle thing. Like Landon’s somehow…too old to have a bottle.”
She dropped the pen to the table and rubbed the skin between her eyes. “I was just sharing my experience—my limited experience. It’s up to his mother to decide when to wean him.”
“So you don’t think getting him off the bottle is something I oughta tackle while I’m takin’ care of him?”
“God no.” Then Jessie didn’t say anything else.
Brandt didn’t relish spending the next four months waiting for Jessie to converse with him. He snagged the remote and turned the TV on, keeping the sound low, happy that Jessie still had satellite.
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After catching up on the latest football games, he hunkered down to watch a western.
As soon as Jessie finished whatever she’d been doing at the table, she joined him on the couch. Might make him selfish, but Brandt wouldn’t mind if this was how the nights for the next four months played out.
Once the movie ended, Jessie stood. “You need anything before I turn in?”
“Nah.” He pointed at the baby monitor. “I’ve got it handled if Landon wakes up.”
“How early are you heading to the ranch tomorrow?”
“I figured I’d leave around six.”
“I get up at five thirty to feed the animals, so that oughta work out. Since it only takes fifteen minutes to get to Sky Blue, I don’t leave until six forty-five.”
“If it’d be easier, havin’ me stay until then—”
Jessie got a strange look on her face. “Don’t trust me alone with him?”
“For Christsake, Jess, what the hell is that supposed to mean? Of course I trust you with him or I wouldn’t’ve asked for your help.”
“That’s good to know.”
Say something.
“Goodnight, Brandt.”
“Night, Jessie.”
He stretched out on the couch and flipped through channels. Fighting a wave of sleepiness, he pulled his ball cap down over his forehead. He’d just rest his eyes for a minute.
Soft cries roused him. Groggy, he pushed up from the couch and fiddled with the volume on the baby monitor and heard the noise again.
Not Landon. Jessie.
Brandt tiptoed down the hallway to Jessie’s bedroom. Her door was open and he listened just outside the jamb. Sure enough, another soft sob echoed. Without thinking, Brandt entered her room.