Craving Absolution (16 page)

Casper

“
Vera’s in your room,” Cameron told me quietly as I sat at the bar with a few of the boys. I looked at him in surprise for a moment. “With Farrah.”

I was off the barstool and striding toward the door before he
’d finished Farrah’s name.
Son of a bitch.
Things had been going so well; at least, better than I’d expected. My girl had kept her cool. She hadn’t brought out the don’t-give-a-shit attitude or sarcastic comments, even though I knew she wanted to. The old ladies at the club weren’t exactly welcoming, and she’d taken that shit and kept her head high without causing any drama.

I knew, I fucking
knew
it would be bad when I ran down the hallway, but I couldn’t have imagined how bad it would be.

The room was silent as I walked inside, the door wide open. A quick sweep assured me that Vera was long gone, but I couldn
’t be relieved because a familiar quilt-covered lump was hanging halfway off my bed.

“
Ladybug?” I called anxiously, moving toward the bed.

“
What’s she doin’?”

I hadn
’t realized that Cameron had followed me, but I was thankful as all hell that he had when no reply came from under the blanket. Fuck me. The top half of her body was limp on the bed, but the bottom half . . . God. She was on her knees. She was on her goddamn knees and the bare soles of her feet were peeking out of the quilt, one of them twisted slightly to the side.

“
Farrah!” I shouted, wrapping my arms around the entire quilt to move her completely onto the bed. “Cam, run and get my gram. I think she’s in the kitchen,” I ordered frantically, pulling at the quilt.

I worked my arms under her, trying to find the
quilt’s edges, but she’d wrapped herself so tightly that it took me a few tries before I could start to unpeel it. I was scared as hell when she didn’t fight me, her body staying limp and pliant as I moved her around on the bed. When I’d finally rolled her onto her back, I took one look at her face and swallowed back the bile rising in my throat.

Her lips were practi
cally blue and her skin was paler than I’d ever seen it. She looked dead, but I could see the pulse in her throat beating frantically.

“
Hey, Ladybug,” I whispered.

She opened her eyes and gave me a slight smirk before her face crum
pled.

“
Think I might have passed out,” she rasped, her brows drawn in confusion. “That was a doozy.”

“
Fuck, Ladybug.” I groaned, pulling her into my arms. “I’m so sorry, baby. What happened?”

She pushed her face into my
shoulder without replying, and as I slid my hand into the hair at the nape of her neck, Slider stomped into the doorway. Goddamn it, she’d rather die than let him see her like this. Her makeup was smeared across her fucking face.

“
The fuck is your problem?” he bellowed, causing Farrah to flinch before growing unnaturally still. “What the fuck did you do to my wife?”

“
Boss—”

“
None a your business, boy!” he interrupted. “I want to fucking know what your bitch said to my wife that’s got her fuckin’ hysterical in my room! This is the thanks I get for taking your skanky ass into my club? You can’t fuckin’ stay away, have to start fuckin’ one a my goddamn prospects, and now I’ve got a fuckin’ second-generation club whore as an old lady to one of my men?”

Farrah started shaking, her tears wetting my neck
, and I tightened the hand at her nape to keep her where she was. I wished I could cover her ears while I was at it. I wanted to stand and make the fucker leave, but Farrah was on my lap and there was no way I was putting her down.

“
I fuckin’ warned you to stay away from my wife!” Slider roared.

Farrah startled in my arms, making a keening noise that was so quiet I barely heard it.

Fuck it, I was done. I tightened my arms around Farrah and braced my legs to stand. That was when Gram walked in calmly, meeting my eyes before coming to a stop with her back to Farrah and me.

Slider
’s bafflement was almost funny as Gram straightened to her full height of barely five feet, her curved back no match for the way she squared her shoulders.

“
I appreciate you taking us in these past few days, but I’ll be taking my granddaughter out of here as soon as we can be packed.”

Farrah
’s body relaxed into mine at Gram’s words.

“
Woman, I ain’t got no fight with you.”

“
Wrong,” Gram argued. “If you’ll step outside, I’ll get Farrah packed and out of your clubhouse.”

“
Yeah, take that trash with you,” he blustered back.

“
Be very, very careful with what you say next,” Gram hissed back, her voice taking on a tone I’d never heard before. “Your daughter is shaking and upset on that bed, and what you say next could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. She has a family now, she no longer has to allow
trash
into her life.”

“
What fucking back? The little bitch has treated me like shit since the moment I met her and fixed her fuckin’ problems for her. As far as I’m concerned, the fuckin’ camel is dead.”

“
Well then, you won’t mind
stepping outside
so we can get packed up. And Slider?” Gram’s voice dropped to a whisper. “You leave her alone or I’ll remember I’ve got
contacts
of my own.”

“
Fuck this shit. Get that little cunt outta my clubhouse.” Slider sneered, spinning toward the door.

Farrah
’s head snapped up then and turned to face him as he hit the doorway. “CeeCee the bumblebee,” she called out quietly.

She caught him midstep and he stumbled as he spun back toward us, his face a mask of horror
as he met her eyes.

That
was when Gram slammed the door in his face.

Farrah

Gram had me packed in less than twenty minutes, but it
took us close to an hour to figure out the logistics of leaving the club in broad daylight. After all, they were under lockdown for a reason.

I stayed on Cody
’s lap for most of that hour, but we barely spoke. What was there to say, really? Slider had given up on me as a child, and any uncomfortable wishes that I’d harbored about one day having a relationship with him disappeared in a puff of smoke when he made his feelings known. I was nothing to him. A club whore spawned from another club whore, a designation that I assumed came from my long-ago relationship with Echo.

Grease and Callie
came in not long after the blowup to see what the hell had happened, and she automatically decided to pack Will up and leave with us. There were few times I’d ever seen Callie so livid, as if she would burst out of her skin like the Hulk if anyone looked at her sideways. She was fierce in her protection of me, and all her mother bear instincts had risen up when she’d caught a glimpse of my face. I must have looked like shit.

Callie and Grease got
into a huge fight, arguing about her and Will leaving the grounds, but after a few minutes I’d put a stop to it. Whatever the threat was outside, it was very real, and for once I completely agreed with Grease. It wasn’t safe for them to leave, no matter what Gram and I were doing. Frankly, it wasn’t all that safe for us to leave either, or we wouldn’t have been there in the first place.

Cameron wasn
’t happy to be left behind. His anxiety skyrocketed when we told him I was leaving, and I was afraid for a moment that he was going to punch Cody in the face for telling him he couldn’t go with us.

It was harder
leaving him behind than I imagined, but I knew that there was no way I could bring him along. His family had already been targeted, and even though we’d kept his survival pretty quiet, he was still in danger. I couldn’t stand the thought of something happening him. I doubted his father would have let him leave anyway. Tommy seemed to fade in and out of the parenting role, but I knew he still worried.

Gram and I were headed to her sister Lily
’s house, on the outskirts of a little town called Sutherlin about an hour south of Eugene. It was so far off the beaten path that Gram was sure we’d be safe in the old farmhouse, but just to be careful we took two separate cars and two different routes to get there, with Grease and Gram in her car, and Cody driving me in mine.

The club didn
’t do a thing to help with our departure, no plans were made to make sure we weren’t followed, and it was another nail in the father-of-the-year coffin. He didn’t even care what happened to me. It was as simple as that.

We stayed quiet most of the ride
; I was nervous and Cody was concentrating on our surroundings. But as we passed the Sutherlin city limits sign, he finally spoke.

“
You’re gonna like my aunt Lily, Ladybug. She’s a lot like Gram. Quieter, though.” He reached over and laced his fingers through mine, finally relaxing a little.

“
I just wish we weren’t potentially bringing shit to her doorstep.” I sighed. “The fucked-up part of this whole thing is I didn’t even
do
anything. She fucking cornered me in your room. I didn’t have a choice.”

“
You want to talk about it?” he asked. “I feel like I’m missing a big part of whatever the hell is going on.”

I
took a deep breath and gave him the CliffsNotes version of Vera’s visit as we pulled onto a back road and started up a mile-long driveway, but I left out the memories of my mom. It was enough for him to know what Slider and Vera had done or hadn’t done; the filth that my mom had filled my head with wasn’t something I wanted to discuss. I wasn’t sure that he would get it, how much worse it was for me that they’d taken care of me and then pretended I’d never existed, but he did.

“
That’s fucked up! They just gave up?” he asked with a scowl as we rolled to a stop.

“
Apparently. I guess there’s just something about me. I can’t seem to keep a parent’s interest for any length of time,” I told him with a droll smile as I unbuckled my seat belt.

“
That’s bullshit, Farrah,” he replied, gripping my leg when I turned to open my door. “There isn’t one thing wrong with you, baby. That’s their fuckup, you know that, right? It doesn’t have a goddamn thing to do with you.”

The intensity in his voice had my throat clogging with tears, and I reached up to gently lay my hand on his cheek.
“I love you,” I told him for the first time.

He swallowed hard and leaned toward me, but our little moment was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of someone pumping a shotgun.

“State your business!” yelled a little old lady holding the gun just feet from the front of my car.

Cody rolled down his window, leaving his other hand clenching my thigh.
“Aunt Lil, it’s me, Cody!”

“
Cody!” she cried in delight, letting the shotgun fall to rest against her side. “Well, what the hell are you doing sitting in the car? Come on in!”

His smile was huge as he opened his door and stepped into the overcast day, and I watched in astonishment as he wrapped his arms around the small woman
’s waist and spun her around. She was still holding the shotgun as they spun, and I ducked down behind the dash as their revolution pointed it toward me.

“
What the fuck is this, the Wild West?” I grumbled, climbing out of the car when they were done spinning.

“
Farrah!” Lily smiled as I made my way toward them. “My little sister has told me so much about you, darlin’! I didn’t mean to scare ya, but Rose let me know what was going on and I couldn’t see who was in the car. Come in! Come in! I’ve got dinner on the stove.”

“
How were you planning on shooting someone if you can’t see them?” I asked conversationally as we walked up the porch steps.

“
Oh, honey, you just need the general vicinity with a shotgun. Got some bird shot in this baby,” she said as we stepped inside and she set the gun against the wall. “Get close enough and you can spray the shit outta someone.” She winked and turned toward the kitchen, leaving me with my mouth hanging open.

“
I thought you said she was the quiet one!” I grumbled to Cody as he came in the front door, carrying my things.

“
Said my eyesight’s bad, not my hearing!” Lily singsonged from the kitchen, making Cody burst into laughter as my face burned in mortification.

I clenched my jaw and straightened my shoulders as I followed Lily into the kitchen, ignoring Cody as he walked my suitcase down a hallway off the left side of the entryway. I was having a hell of a time keeping my guard up
; there had been too many things happening in the last week. I was off-kilter. I needed to get my shit together, starting now.

“
So, you’re old,” I called out to Lily, trying to rile her as I made my way to the island separating the kitchen from the dining room. “You have your medical marijuana card?”

“
Hell, no. I’m not that decrepit,” she replied, turning to face me.

“
Bummer.”

“
Said I didn’t have a card, didn’t say I didn’t have weed,” she told me with a small smirk.

“
Hell yeah, mama! Hook us up!”

“
Are you trying to corrupt my auntie?” Cody asked, startling me as he stepped in against my back and leaned his hands on the countertop on each side of me.

“
I think it may be the other way around.”

“
Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” he mumbled into my neck, giving me a soft kiss there.

“
Lily? Farrah?” I heard Gram call from the front of the house.

“
In here, Rose!”

God, those old ladies had a set of lungs on them.

“Everything go okay?” Gram asked breathlessly as she shuffled into the kitchen.

“
Yep, no problems. What about you guys?” Cody replied as Gram walked around the island to give Lily a hug.

“
No problems,” Grease answered, setting down Gram’s bags in the kitchen doorway. “Didn’t see shit.”

“
Asa, this is my sister Lily. Lily, this is Callie’s man,” Gram said by way of introduction.

“
Damn, you sure ain’t small,” Lily blurted, looking Grease up and down . . . and then up again.

“
No, ma’am, I’m not.”

“
Callie being so small, you’re lucky your baby didn’t rip her in two,” Lily commented, making Grease’s face pale.

“
Shut your trap, Lily!” Gram admonished.

“
Well, shit! Look at him! The man’s huge!”

Gram ignored Lily and turned to Grease.
“Get that look off your face. Callie did just fine having Will, and I’m pretty sure you’ve seen that he didn’t rip her in two.”

Grease
’s face turned red at Gram’s words, and I had a hard time controlling my laughter. God, Gram was funny alone, but with those two old ladies together? I had a feeling I’d be peeing my pants in the near future.

“
Can’t stay long, little brother,” Grease told Cody seriously, immediately ruining the good mood I’d finally found. They shared a look and a head nod before Cody turned toward me.

“
Come on, Ladybug,” he called quietly, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “I’ll show you where your room is.”

When Lily called out not to dirty the sheets, I couldn
’t even laugh.

It was almost time for him to leave me and I wasn
’t ready. If it were up to us, he would have stayed, but we both knew he was needed at the club. If the families were ever going to be safe again, they had to take care of the threat against them.