Crazy Baby (2 page)

“I love you, Andi,” I start. And wait.

“I love you, too,” she answers sweetly.

I take her hand and kiss her knuckles. “I told you I didn’t think I made a very good counselor, right?”

“Yes, you did.”

“The thing is, I can help others work through their feelings or problems or thoughts.” I hesitate, watching her reaction. “I just don’t really talk about mine or see them as plainly.”

She’s quiet, allowing me time to gather my thoughts and continue. “So, how can I encourage them to do what I can’t even really do myself? There are things I know from my training—techniques and tricks—that I know how to use. When to use them. But, Andi, I don’t apply those to myself. Why?”

It’s a rhetorical question. I don’t really expect her to give me the answer. It’s something I know I need to address in myself. I have an advanced degree in counseling and I can’t even counsel myself. How ironic is that?

Andi raises her head up and props it on her hand as she says, “I imagine it’s a lot like me and my degree, Luke. I didn’t practice law after I worked so hard for it because it reminded me so much of
the bastard
. I mean, why did I even pick that field to begin with? That’s what
he
did.”

Laying her head back on the pillow, she finishes, “I would’ve been better off being a counselor and helping other kids that way.” Then she smiles. “Maybe you should’ve been the lawyer since you like to fight.”

Damn, she understands me better than I understand myself. She’s probably right. I chose this field for the wrong reasons, and that’s why I’ve been so damn wishy-washy. The pressure I felt from family didn’t help either. It was only after I met Andi that I came to realize this. She was so accepting of me, not my career, but
me
.

“Maybe you’re right,” I respond with no small amount of wonder in my voice. “You would’ve made one hell of a family counselor, Andi.”

“And you would’ve made one hell of a lawyer, Luke,” she lovingly whispers back.

Two mixed-up souls who somehow found each other and then somehow made everything right. That’s what we are. But we work, and there’s no way I’d change even one second of my life with her for a whole life do-over.

Andi moves closer to me, snuggling in tight, and wraps her arm around me. Her breaths become steady and soft, indicating she’s drifted off to sleep in my arms. This is one of the things I treasure most—holding her and feeling her breathe as she sleeps in my arms, safe and secure.

ANDI

My first Thanksgiving with a real family was more than I could’ve ever hoped it would be. I know that Luke quickly tired of everyone being here all day, but he tolerated it well for me. After New Year’s, things are going to get really crazy around here. I haven’t had the heart to tell Luke that I’ve decided to accept a once in a lifetime opportunity that requires me to travel for the first several months of next year. With Travis Malone. The most wanted man in America—the lead singer of the hottest band out right now, Sound Bar.

I met Travis on the set of
The Lindsey Blair Show
when I gave my tell-all interview about my foster father. Travis was waiting backstage for his interview while my interview ran way over. It turns out Travis is also a survivor of childhood abuse and wanted to take a stand with me. We agreed to do public service announcements together. That part, Luke knows all about, and he’s been very supportive of it. It’s the traveling with Travis over the first half of next year that I haven’t figured out how to break the news to him about yet. This will go over like a lead zeppelin.

“Luke, baby,” I coo softly at him to wake him. We fell asleep in each other’s arms last night after talking for a little while, and I woke up in exactly the same position. I hope he’ll agree to come on tour with me because I won’t be able to sleep without him.

His long, beautiful eyelashes are fanned out on his cheeks, his breaths are still even, and he hasn’t even stirred yet. I love watching him sleep—he looks so peaceful. I love being snuggled up to his big, warm body, too. He wraps around me like a cocoon, like he’s my own personal safety blanket. One of the reasons I haven’t said anything to him about it yet is because I can’t stand the thought of possibly leaving him. The other reason is because of his jealousy, even when he has nothing to be jealous of in the first place.

“Luke, sweetheart,” I whisper as I gently stroke his jaw stubble. I love the feel of it. He has a natural five-o’clock shadow all the time, and it looks so sexy on him. My fingers trail down his neck, his shoulder, and down his tattooed arm. I move in closer to him and breathe in his all-male, musky scent. My fingers keep moving along the cords and ripples of his muscles. Even relaxed, the man’s body is cut and beautiful. I find his ribs and take my time feeling along the ridges and bumps of his six-pack abs.

I don’t know what they’re called, but I’ve aptly named the V in his abdominal muscles “
my personal stairway to heaven.
” Moving the sheet back, I lightly run my finger down the side that’s on display.

“You don’t have to stop there,” he mumbles in his sexy, sleepy voice, making me jump out of my skin. And sending tingles to every part of my body.

So I take his advice and let my hand keep roaming. He’s ready and waiting for me before he’s even fully awake. I love that my touch does that to him. Without a word, without any overt gesture, my skin on his skin arouses him before his eyes even open. My undivided attention under the covers brings him to life. His hips instinctively surge upward and he grips me tightly.

His moan of pleasure comes out more like a growl of intense need, and it sparks a flame in me. Unable to explain the sudden need that has enveloped me, I lean into him and lick my way down his muscled abs. Placing openmouthed kisses, licking his gorgeous body, lightly nipping his skin with my teeth, and slowly and deliberately torturing him, I make my way to
my
heaven on earth. His hands glide through my hair and then his fists clench, urgently holding on to me and guiding me where he needs me the most.

He feels my smile against his skin, low on his abdomen, as I poise my face just above him. “You better be smiling because you like what you see,” his deep voice drawls. Damn, he’s so sexy.

“Oh, I love what I see, baby,” I coo to him, with only a hint of playfulness in my voice.

His hands feel so good in my hair. Holding me, possessing me, owning me. That’s exactly how I feel about him and his love. After teasing and tempting him for a moment, I finish what I initially began. His grip tightens, pulling my hair just enough to make the pain pleasurable. Without warning or preamble, I take him in as deeply as I can.

His hips flex up and his back arches in response. “Fuck, baby! So good!”

So involved in my current focus, I’m suddenly stunned when I fly through the air and land on my back, with Luke expertly poised at my entrance and his body covering mine. Watching me intently, he slowly enters me, one glorious inch at a time, until he’s fully inside me. Before I even have time to encourage him to move, he pulls back and surges into me over and over again. The sensations stirring low and deep inside me are so strong. He’s hit
the
spot over and over…and over. I scream out his name as I reach the highest peak, and he immediately follows me.

“You can wake me up like that every day. Hell, I don’t even have to be asleep.”

“That’s so thoughtful of you,” I joke.

“It is, isn’t it?”

I’m graced with his beautiful smile and the sparkle in his eyes. So help me, he really is something to look at.

Luke gets up and walks toward the bathroom, giving me a gorgeous view of his body as he goes. I’ve noticed a definite change in myself since Luke moved in with me. I think he’s a bad influence on me
and
on my libido—and I love it.

“Andi,” Luke calls from the bathroom, adding extra syllables to my name as he taunts me. The water turns on, and I know he’s adjusting the temperature. “I have a surprise for you. You’ll have to come in here to get it!”

Oh. My. God.
He turns me to mush—I’m completely and utterly useless when he does that. How can I live without him on this tour? Without hesitation, I jump up from the bed and dash into the shower with my sexy man.

LUKE

December

I’m going to the gym early this morning to get back into my regular routine after overstuffing myself with Thanksgiving turkey and all the fixings. The moment I walk in, Mack sets his sights on me as he makes a beeline in my direction. It’s now or never time. By the look on his face and the narrowing of his eyes, he expects an answer right now.

I haven’t even talked to Andi about it yet. I was supposed to do that yesterday while we were alone but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Now I’m out of time because Mack won’t wait another day. The best boxing trainer in the country has a question for me, and he expects an answer.

“Luke, what’s your answer?” Mack asks, getting straight to the point.

“Yes. I want to do it,” I reply without thinking twice about it. It’s my gut reaction, and I’ve always been told that’s usually the one that’s the most honest.

“Andi okay with it?” Mack narrows his eyes.

“She supports whatever I want to do, Mack. You know Andi.”

“Yes, I do know her, Luke. I know her well enough to know that she would’ve called me if you’d told her about it.”

“I couldn’t do it on Thanksgiving, Mack,” I admit with a resigned shake of my head. “It was the first one she’s had with everyone in her life who loves her surrounding her. I’ll tell her soon, I promise.”

“See that you do, Luke. She’s like my daughter, and I don’t want to see her hurt anymore.”

Giving him a single nod, I quickly walk to the locker room and prepare for a grueling morning of jogging and sprinting intervals, followed by a grueling evening of sparring with one of Mack’s other heavyweight guys. It’s still dark when my feet hit the pavement. Setting my watch, I time my intervals to reach my maximum potential. My body is strong and my mind is stronger. This is what I’ve wanted for a long time, what I’ve worked for, and what I’ve bled for.

But a spunky little blonde keeps invading my thoughts as I start my first mile. Seeing her face when I tell her I’ll be away for six months at the same intensive training gym that Shane attended in Vegas isn’t going to be easy. Being apart won’t be easy on either of us. I don’t doubt our relationship or our love—only my ability to be without her touch for that long. She will definitely have to fly out and stay with me as frequently as they’ll allow.

The specialized gym takes a good fighter and makes him great. I’m fortunate that Mack is actually going with me instead of staying here at his gym. Since he’s agreed to take me on as his next protégé, Mack’s decided he wants to be there to make sure his friend sticks to the best regimen. Because he has Shane essentially lined up for the light-heavyweight championship fight next summer in Vegas, Shane will be joining us for the last half of the training. This is my chance, once and for all, to prove that I’ve got what it takes to be the best boxer around. This is my one shot at realizing my dream while I’m still young enough to make a name for myself.

“All right, Luke, hit the showers and go eat a big breakfast. Carbs, water, and fruits. Come back in a few hours after you’ve rested, and we’ll start the sparring rounds,” Mack instructs.

“Yes, sir,” I give a mock salute with a smile.

“Get used to saying that,” Mack deadpans. Although, I know he’s not joking.

As I walk into the house, Andi is on the phone but scurrying around hurriedly and excitedly. She’s talking very animatedly with someone, and she hasn’t noticed that I’m here yet. I lean against the doorframe and listen to the one-sided conversation. There’s a smile plastered on my face from just watching the nervous excitement bubble up in her.

“No, I haven’t had a chance to even tell him about it yet. I’ll talk to him tonight when he gets home,” Andi says.

“Um, I don’t think he’ll like it at all. But he loves me and he trusts me. He knows I love him more than anything.”

“Well, of course, if he wants to, he’s welcome to. I want him to, and I’m going to ask him.”

“It’s not like that, Chris,” she says seriously to Christina, her best friend.

Andi turns and her eyes float up to mine as she releases a loud shriek. “No, I’m fine,” she says as she exhales loudly into the phone. “Luke is home and scared the shit out of me. I’ll talk to you later, Chris. Bye.”

“What haven’t you had a chance to tell me about? That I won’t like but I’ll love you and trust you anyway?”

“Hello to you, too. Yes, I did miss waking up with you this morning. Would you like some breakfast now?” Andi replies, daring me with her eyes.

“I missed you, too. I’d love some breakfast now,” I say, wrapping my arms around her waist. As I pull her to me, her body becomes pliable as her arms wrap around my neck.

“Hello, my beautiful lover,” I say, my lips hovering just above hers.

“Hello, my handsome man,” she replies huskily.

Our lips touch and I’m instantly ignited again. As I suck her bottom lip between my teeth, her arms tighten around me, pulling her body closer to mine. Even after the gruesome workout I’ve had this morning, I’m sure I can find some spare energy for another round with her.

Just as I’m about to take her right here where we stand, she pulls back away from me. Her breathing is rapid, her chest quickly rising and falling, and her lips are red and slightly swollen from our passionate kiss. She’s no less affected than I am and that makes me want her even more.

“Luke, you have to eat, babe.”

“Always so worried about me,” I smirk. “I’m a big boy, ya know?”

“Oh yes, I definitely know. But I still have to take care of you.”

Some things will never change. One of those things is Andi’s need to take care of me, even though she’s very petite and I’m a former street fighter who’s training to be a professional boxer. It’s comical but she takes it very seriously, and she asks for so little from me that I can’t deny her this one thing.

“Whatever you say, Andi,” I concede, and she leads the way to the kitchen.

Once my plate is filled with the exact foods she knows my body needs, I dig in and suddenly realize how hungry I really am. After I devour everything in record time, I notice that Andi is chewing on her fingernail as she looks at me pensively.

“You want to tell me what’s going on now?” I ask pointedly.

Replacing her finger with her lip, she aggressively chews on it while apprehension fills her eyes. She knows me well enough to know nothing will change my love for her, so her anxiety is more than concerning to me. What topic would make her so nervous?

“You know I love you. Right?”

“Yes, I do.” Eyeing her suspiciously, I purposely remain silent and make her fill in the silence.

“And you know that there’s nothing that can change my love for you. Right?”

“Yes.”

“So, then you know you have nothing to be jealous over. Right?”

Jealous?

“Why would I be jealous, Andi?”

“Because I know you, and I know how you think, Luke. Even though we’ve been through enough together, your mind still goes to the worst possible scenario.”

“Worst possible scenario of what exactly?”

Sighing heavily, she takes my hand in hers, effectively sealing our connection. Clever little minx.

“You know I’ve been doing public service announcements with Travis, and we’ve recorded a couple of short promo songs to go with them,” she begins.

“Yes. And?”

“I’ve been asked to go on tour with his band early next year. Actually, it starts in mid-January and ends around the end of May. They offered me the spot of the first opening act. My show would be short, but I would go back onstage later with Sound Bar to sing a few songs with Travis. I’ve tentatively said I’d go.”

So, this is what all her questions about love and trusting her have been about. She’s been planning to go on tour with Travis Malone, the current reigning rock god who’s wanted by every woman in the country between the ages of puberty and death. She’s already had conversations with someone about this and has already agreed to go, without even talking to me about it first.

But then, I can’t really fault her for that since I’ve done the same damn thing. But, my situation is significantly different than hers. I won’t be touring with some other woman who is obviously infatuated with me like Travis is with Andi. She denies he is, but I can see it plain as day.

Actually, I initially assumed that Andi would come with me to Vegas since she’s been Mack’s right hand for the last several years. She’s helped several fighters, including me, with the techniques and training to make us the best boxers around. Mack’s friend won’t allow it, though, which gave me another reason for not telling her sooner. Knowing that she’s been making other plans behind my back with Travis Malone doesn’t sit well with me at all.

All these thoughts are running through my head as she sits waiting for a reaction and response from me. Honestly, I don’t know how to fucking react to this. Tell her she can’t do something she obviously loves? No, she’s not mine to command like that. Ask her not to go, to come with me instead? That would be selfish of me. Although, I don’t deny that I am selfish when it comes to her.

“Luke, say something,” she prompts.

“I don’t really know what to say, Andi.” I exhale a quick huff.

“Tell me what you’re thinking then. Let’s talk through it.”

“Well…” I take a second to collect my thoughts. “I’m thinking I don’t want you on a tour bus alone with Travis Malone. I’m thinking I don’t want you to go at all, but that’s selfish of me. And, I’m thinking…”

It’s my turn to be honest.

Andi leans forward, toward me, and places her free hand on top of our already clasped hands. Raising her eyebrows, she nods to urge me to continue.

“I’m thinking that I’d rather you come with me to Las Vegas for the training and conditioning camp I’m going to be in during that same time,” I confess.

She leans back in her chair, pulling her hands away, and openly gapes at me. “I…” she stutters. “I just thought you’d come with me, Luke. I never really intended to go on this tour without you.”

This gives me cause to smile slightly, and the corner of one side of my mouth lifts in amusement. “Well, we have next year planned out pretty well for each other, don’t we?”

She smiles in return. “What do we do now?”

“All I know is I can’t lose you, Andi. We’ll do what we have to do to make this work.”

“You’re not mad?” She eyes me dubiously.

“I’m not mad. I’m not happy, but I’m not mad. So, how does this touring thing work?”

She knows what I’m asking without me spelling it out for her.
How close of quarters will she be in with Travis?

“It’s a forty-city tour, from mid-January through the end of May. A lot of the stops are on the East Coast, many even in the southeast, so I think those will actually be easy for me to travel separately and meet them there.

“From the middle to the end of the tour, the venues are mainly in the Midwest and western states. That’s when I’ll be on the tour bus. But, I don’t know which bus since there is another act opening for them, too. It’s an all-girl band, so I just assumed I’d be on the bus with them.”

The point I need to make to Andi has nothing to do with my jealousy or insecurity. It’s just a cold, hard fact. “Baby, listen to me. You need to understand something. Shane is a rare man. He really does look at you like a sister and protects you like a brother should. Any other man in the world won’t see you as a sister, though. That includes Travis Malone.

“He is very interested in being more than friends with you, and he will make a play for you. Andi, it’s not that I don’t trust you, because I do. It’s that I don’t trust him to not try to make the most of his time with you—away from me.”

She sighs audibly. “You may be right, Luke. He may be interested in me. He may even try something with me. But if you trust
me
, you should know that it doesn’t matter what he says or does. I’d never do that to you.

“I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. This was actually a very hard decision for me to make. It means leaving the youth center behind, my friends, the gym, and now you. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting that one at all.”

She squints her eyes at me, silently asking me about this little hiccup.

“Yeah, that’s my fault. Mack asked me a couple of weeks ago about my future, my career, and what I really wanted. Then he offered me this spot in his buddy’s camp. This is probably the only time I’ll even have a chance at really making this a career. It’s just not something I can turn down.

“He asked me for my decision when I went to the gym this morning, and I said yes. So, I’m officially in training now and will leave for camp after the first of the year. When he first asked, I just assumed you’d go with Mack and me to Vegas.”

She moves to sit in my lap, and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer to me. Her sweet breath fans out across my cheek as she leaves a trail of soft kisses. Laying her head on my shoulder, she offers a small consolation.