Crest (Ondine Quartet Book 3) (17 page)

Magic swirled around me, like it did whenever I got upset. I felt how mean the boys were, how they enjoyed doing this. Their dark emotions rushed through me, uncontrolled and raw.

I jumped, hands trying to grab the white, furry leg. But he was too tall and I couldn't reach.

"Come on, little girl," he sneered. "Get your teddy bear. Come on, get it!"

He said it the same way people spoke to their dogs.

The other boy smiled. "She's too short. Like a dwarf or something."

"Give him back!"

My foot kicked his thigh. But as soon as I hit him, the other one pushed me hard, fingers hurting my arm.

I threw a punch at his face but that made him angry. His foot landed in my stomach and then the other one kicked me on the side.

I fell to the ground, arms covering my body.

Feet landed against my face, on my arms and back.

I kicked, trying to hit their legs but they were older and meaner. Bigger.

Pain shattered through me and I cried out.

Mommy was right next to me. Today was supposed to be our fun day at the park.

Where was she?
 

Fear that something happened to her choked my throat and the pain worsened.

After endless minutes, the boys finally grew bored and walked away.

The tears stopped and when the pain eased a little, I brushed the dirt off my clothes and stood.

She leaned against a tree behind me, disappointment in her eyes.

"Why didn't you fight back?"

She'd watched the whole time.

"It hurts," I whispered. Every part of me hurt.

She walked over, her face unforgiving. "I asked you a question, Kendra. Why didn't you fight back?"

"I did! But they were too big —"

"It wasn't good enough. You let your emotions take control and forgot almost everything we practiced. And now, because you weren't strong enough, you let them take Mr. Bristol."

I wasn't going to cry in front of her. She didn't like it when I cried.

"I tried."

"They were human, not the same as Aquidae. What did I tell you?"

"That Aquidae are fast. And strong."
 

A long scrape went up my leg and my ankle was turning purple.

I studied the specks of dirt in the skin and wondered if she'd get my bear back for me.

But some part of me knew she wouldn't. He was gone now.

Like Daddy and the boxes that disappeared with each move.

"Do you understand?" she asked quietly. "Do you understand how much more you have to work?"

That's when I realized it was just another exercise, a lesson she'd set up for me.

And I'd failed again.

"I'll do better," I said dully.

It was my fifth birthday.

***

I breathed deeply, trying to relieve the pain swirling in my chest.

Was the toy important?

"Yes. It was the last thing my father gave me before he died."

Magic roamed, a voracious beast searching for more.

What hurt the most?

The weather was perfect that day, idyllic spring air rich with sunshine and the hint of blooming foliage. My mother smiled a lot. At the zoo and later when we grabbed a slice of my favorite pizza.

She'd taken me to the park, pushed me on the swings. Shared birthday cupcakes with me.

And then she'd left me alone to fight two human boys as a test.

"It hurt that she took away the bear," I said quietly. "Everything else I could live with. But she took away Mr. Bristol."

Satisfied, Magic continued.

***

"You have to concentrate, Kendra." She sounded tired. "You need to learn how to turn off your Virtue."

"It's hard."

"You're getting distracted by what other people feel and it's not helping."

She was mad because the boy at the karate dojo beat me in a sparring session. When I stood before him, I felt how angry he was pairing with someone so much younger. In that moment, he'd hated me.

The strength of it surprised me so much I didn't pay attention.

I put my bag on the ground. "Sometimes, it helps."

She raised her brow. "No excuses. You lost today. What happened to your elbow?"

The cut had started to scab over but it still hurt a little.

"I was hiding with Robby."

"Hmm?"
 

I'd been doing it for a week. It was the first secret I'd ever kept from her and it was scary and exciting all at the same time.

Maybe if I told her, she'd be happy. Because she'd know I did something good.

"I found a bad man," I said proudly.

She turned. "What?"

It happened last week on the playground with Robby. He'd slowed down in his white, blue, and red truck. Called out and said hello.

I felt the truth behind his wide smile.

"He wants to hurt Robby. So everyday when he comes by, I hide him."

Today we'd hid behind a pile of wooden boxes someone had thrown away and a nail scratched the inside of my arm.

"Who wants to hurt Robby?"

"The mailman."

She frowned. "Kendra, did you feel something?"

I nodded.

She sat me down at the small dining table and placed a paper and box of crayons in front of me. "Draw it for me."

Magic showed me things that made me sad a lot. Like how our neighbor, Mrs. Schweitzer, felt after Mr. Schweitzer died. Or how Mandy from school cried when her dog got hit by a car.

Sometimes I felt things that scared me. Like the way men stared at my mommy. At her legs and body and I felt what they felt and couldn't understand.

Or the way mean old Mr. Rowner, who always smelled sickly sweet, yelled at his wife. She was always so sad, her insides faded like she wasn't even there anymore. Or the way the man at the gas station looked at the girls from the high school and lied to his boss about his past.

I didn't know the words to describe them, so I drew them.

I scribbled a monster carrying ropes and chains on the paper. It was the awful thing inside the mailman.

She stared at the picture for a long time.

"Kendra, go upstairs and pack your things."

"Why?"

"Just do what I say."

"No! He's going to do something to Robby."

I shivered, the ugly feeling coating my skin like mud. I sensed something horrible inside him, a nightmare I wanted to forget.

My mind couldn't erase it but she could stop it from happening.

"That's none of our business."

"Robby's my friend!"

Her eyes turned cold. "No, he's not."

I couldn't help it. I started to cry.

"Yes, he is. He let me ride his bike and shared his robot with me and —" My breath caught so hard I couldn't get the words out.

"Robby's not your friend. You can't have friends. You can't have what others have. It's too dangerous." Her voice was hard again. "Tell me why, Kendra."

It took several seconds before I could speak. "Because of Aquidae."

"Do you want to protect Robby?"

I nodded. I didn't want anything bad to happen to him.

"Then pack your things. We're leaving tomorrow."
 

***

Magic untangled and a deep exhaustion washed over me.

What did you feel when you left?

"Regret."

Why?

"Because I left him behind." Even now, it tore at me. "Because I should've protected him."

You?

Weight sank against my chest. But this time, it wasn't Magic.

It was me.

"She should've," I said wearily. "She should've protected him."

It continued.

***

"What are the rules, Kendra?"

"God, Mom. Do we have to go through this again?"

"What are the rules?"

I stared out the window as she pulled up to the corner of the high school. Another city, another first day at a new school. And as a freshman, it'd suck more than usual.

This time it was Florida. We'd only stayed four months in Virginia.

I hadn't known our destination until we arrived two days ago. She never told me where we were going.

"Trust no one," I said flatly. "Relationships are weaknesses. Emotional attachments are dangerous. Be responsible only for yourself."

She didn't say anything for a few moments. "This is the best way. Trust me."

"I thought the rule was to trust no one," I murmured.

She didn't respond to the provocation.

I was so sick of being alone. Tired of all the constant moving, the endless suspicion and paranoia.

I was trained, not completely defenseless. Why couldn't I at least have some kind of normal?
 

So when he flirted with me that first day, I'd sucked it up like a dying plant needing water. And with each passing day, he grew more important.

He paid attention to me. He noticed me. He made me belong.

***

Body jerked.
"No. That's private."

Magic crushed my bones. I screamed, pain ripping through nerve endings.

The flood of images drowned me.

***

It was sweatier and more uncomfortable than I thought it'd be. The cramped back seat of Jason's car didn't give much room and something dug into my hip the entire time.

But Jason was a good kisser which made up for a lot of it. He called me baby, said I was beautiful. Special.

He was the hottest senior at school and I was so ready to be with someone because I didn't want to listen to Mom's shit all the time.

I wanted a friend, a boyfriend. Someone close, who'd hold and look at me in a certain way. Not as a sparring opponent across the mat, not with that polite disinterest most people showed strangers.

I had an ache and it wasn't the after-effect of a training session or tournament.

When I did it with Jason, I thought I'd fixed it because I finally belonged in this human world to something, someone, other than my mother and war.

Until we finished.

Before I could wrap my arms around him, he pulled away.

"Come on. Let's go."

I smiled and rubbed his arm. "What's the rush?"

He pulled his shirt on and winked. "I don't have time, baby. I need to rest for the game tomorrow."

From the moment we met, I hadn't used my magic on him.

Partly because I wanted to break those damn rules. Partly because I wanted to be normal and experience life without knowing every single truth about someone.

Willful ignorance had been too strong of a temptation.

But the change in his tone triggered something.

Pissed me off just enough to do what I didn't have the guts to do before. What I should've done before.

Empath reached in.

A crack, long and deep, opened inside at the confirmation. The lies he'd told with a straight face, the shallow narcissism and selfishness.

People lied. They hid who they really were. I'd known that my entire life.

I'd just chosen not to know it with him.

"You ready to go, babe?" He climbed into the driver's seat. "Don't want you to get in trouble at home."

How considerate.

He whistled along to an obnoxious song on the radio. I stared out the window, feeling removed and distant, as if I floated ten feet away from everyone and everything.

At my house, I got out and slammed the door without a word. Funny, he didn't seem to care much.

The anger grew, a dark hatred that wanted to claw and rip apart the bars of my life.

But the worst part was the next morning when I dragged my ass out of bed and headed to the kitchen.

She leaned against the counter, arms crossed, eyes hard.

"Were you out with Jason last night?"

"What does it matter?" I said dully. "You were on patrol anyway."

"You're not following the rules."

"He has nothing to do with that."

"And what if Aquidae decide to use him to get to you? You're not ready to fight, you're unable to defend yourself —"

"Yes, I am —"

"You still let your emotions affect your judgment. You're going to get yourself or someone else dead. We're on our own, Kendra. You can't trust anyone, not while we're at war."

I slammed my glass down. "Not everything is about Aquidae or war!"

"For us, it is!"

We glared at each other. I wanted to pound my fist against the wall, scream until everything went away.

"You can't risk being with a human. What if Aquidae decide to turn him? Kill him in their attempt to get to you? And there's something about him...." She shook her head.

"He's not my boyfriend, okay?" The bitter words coated my mouth. "You got what you want. Happy now?"

The last words spilled out, more honest than I'd like. Something flickered in those hazel eyes that were always too damned sharp.

She knew.

"I know it hurts right now," she said quietly. "But it's better this way. Otherwise, it'll make it harder for you when we leave. Or if something happens to him."

It would've been better if she'd yelled at me, told me all the things I'd already said to myself last night.

But it was that look in her eyes, the way she calmly told me all the things I could never have.

She felt sorry for me and I didn't want her fucking pity.

***