Crest (Ondine Quartet Book 3) (16 page)

"A leader who takes action and has very little tolerance for petty in-fighting. The same is true for battle, isn't it?"

"Yes." In fact, we'd covered the very topic in elite training. "Part of fighting effectively is maintaining a high degree of objectivity."

He nodded. "Always be aware of what the enemy may do and outplay them. That means understanding where your strengths and weaknesses lie."

"And you think I should do the same with the Council?"

"Politics is nothing more than the art of war," he murmured. "For example, you detest being in the chamber."

I gave a mock shudder. "Yes."

"You don't relish spending hours at that table trying to convince others of the program's effectiveness."

"Stuff of nightmares, Jeeves."

He grinned. "Then perhaps it's important to remember where your strengths are."

I mulled that over. My strength was in getting something done.

How could I show the program's importance without haggling over minutiae with the Council?

The only way to prove its effectiveness was to place ondines in battle.

But that was impossible unless I showed it could work.

Mind spun and an idea slowly took shape.

Maybe not so impossible after all.

My eyes met his. "I have a plan."

I SWALLOWED AND TRIED TO stop thinking.

Mind refused to cooperate and kept conjuring images of the sick ways I'd be sacrificed to Magic.

All were bloody.

A soft knock came at the door.

"Come in."

Rhian swept into the antechamber. Critical hazel eyes examined the white ceremonial robe covering me. Beneath it, I wore simple pants and a T-shirt.

It wasn't the most formal attire, but I wanted to be prepared for anything. Including the ability to move.

"Are you ready?"

I took a deep breath."Yes."

She turned toward the door then stopped.

"
Sondaleur
."

Hesitation laced her tone. She faced me and the Governor's mask faded.

Fine lines fanned out from the corner of her eyes. She looked smaller, as if her bones had shrunk.

"Whatever happens, you must tell the truth. At all times."

I suddenly felt the odd need to reassure her.

"I'll be fine."

Her mouth tightened. She leaned forward and spoke quietly in my ear.

"This is between you and Magic. No one else will know what transpires down there."

Her voice held a tone I'd never heard before. It was still commanding and filled with icy authority.

But now it also carried the barest trace of fear.

If this was her way of comforting me, it didn't really do much.

Controlling the rush of shaky dread, I managed a stiff nod and followed her back into the packed Council Chamber.

Tristan, Nexa, and Jeeves stood near the open Summoning Pool along the back wall. Rhian and I joined them.

Jourdain's eyes pressed against my skin. I hoped like hell today wouldn't be as bad as my unpleasant visit with her a few months ago.

Rhian stepped forward and addressed the hall. "The Original Magic trial of Kendra Irisavie will now begin."

No magic raced around the room, no visible sign of what was about to take place.

But something shifted in the air as if the elements knew.

I removed the thin robe and approached the square pool of water.

Trepidation crept up my spine and heartbeat accelerated.

Tristan's expression remained calm, eyes tracking every movement. He'd accompanied me in selkie form when I visited Jourdain and I suddenly wished he could do it again.

I crouched. Hand dipped into the silky waters and Virtue tenderly asked it to understand I was one of its own.

Magic caressed and cajoled. Pale white light warmed the dark surface.

Water responded, flowing back to me and meshing with my magic.

Protective fusion snapped in place and I dropped into the pool. Body and clothes remained dry, the ocean respecting my space.

I glanced at Rhian one last time. Steely hazel eyes met mine.

You can do this.

I took a deep breath and plunged.

Water stirred, wrapping me in coils of pressure, and tugged.

Muscles relaxed as it drew me through the tunnels beneath Haverleau into the inky ocean.

With another sharp tug, I sailed into the deep, gravity accelerating the fall. Ocean buffeted me in its arms, jostling me back and forth. Body shuddered, barely missing the edge of a jutting rock.

Stomach flew into my throat and I squeezed my eyes shut as the speed increased. The journey was deeper, farther than when I'd visited Jourdain.

After several minutes, the turbulence lessened. Pressure eased and my body slowed.

I opened my eyes.

Dark fronds undulated between uneven clumps of coral. Narrow clefts occasionally split the ground, leaving shadowy, impenetrable valleys.

Water continued to pull until a large craggy hill rose before me. Constructed of sand, broken shells, jagged multi-colored coral, and rough-hewn obsidian rocks, it emerged from the ocean floor like a colossal wall.

I came to a soft stop and floated a few feet above the sandy bottom.

Eyes warily took in my surroundings. No dessondines, aquatic animals, or elemental creatures.

Fear fluttered. Everything had cleared out.

A sound rumbled beneath the ground, the noise of a slumbering beast awakening after a long hibernation.

The back of my neck prickled. Arms flailed, attempting to push myself a few feet higher.

Water clamped down and held me in place. Panic reared to life.

The hill split open like a monstrous jaw. Inside was nothing but a bottomless black, as if I stared at an infinite universe far older than the planet.

Sulfurous gas emerged, the noxious stench assaulting my nose. I concentrated on keeping nausea at bay.

You are Kendra Irisavie.

The slow statement rumbled directly in my head. It wasn't a voice; more of a vibration shaped into distinctive words.

My arms trembled. "Y-yes."

An indefinable power rippled from the bowels of the earth and the waters around me shivered.

You are afraid.

I almost denied it, not wanting to admit that to something I couldn't see.

But then I remembered the point of the trial was to tell the truth.

"Yes."

Nothing happened.

Stillness fell.

Was that it? Maybe all I had to do was admit I was afraid.

But Rhian had seemed so scared...

Magic boomed.

The ocean shook and a savage vibration punched through my eardrums.

Energy surged through me, a molten lava of devastating violence.

My mouth opened in a silent scream.

This wasn't the bright, piercing energy of Jourdain.

This was primitive and brutal, a chaotic force equivalent to the explosion of a star.

Oh God, it hurt so much.

An inferno engulfed me, cooking my body. I wouldn't be able to survive it, couldn't live, couldn't bear it.

Insides cracked.

A thunderous roar pounded through my blood as if every bone and cell burst open.

A fissure opened at my core, exposing a deep, dark abyss that shot another powerful tremor of fear through me.

I didn't want to know what was down there.

Magic pried open the gap, widening and sliding into the crevice.

It reached into the internal organs of who I was and pulled.

Pain sliced through my mind as the images began.

No, no, no.

But I remained utterly powerless, too weak to stop it.

At first, they blurred as if an unfocused camera panned over a scene. No specifics, just faint impressionistic colors of mood and atmosphere.

Magic shifted and the camera zoomed in. Alien energy took control, wrenching clear images, sounds, and emotions out of me. Shards of experiences framed in my perspective, vignettes of who I was at that moment in time.

The memories replayed with perfect clarity, an old film reel running behind my eyes.

Undeniable and relentless.

***

I didn't understand. "Is he coming back soon?"

She crouched before me and pushed my bangs off my forehead. "Daddy's not coming back, Kendra."

She thought I didn't see because she tried to cover my eyes, but I saw. Through the legs of the policemen and the humans who came to look.

He sat on the ground next to the green garbage can in the parking lot behind the library. Daddy looked like he was sleeping.

Why would he sleep next to smelly garbage? Maybe that's why he wasn't coming home anymore.

It made me mad.

Because he told me he'd carry me to the deeper end of the ocean the next time we went to the beach. He was supposed to lift me high above the waves like he always did.

"But he promised!"

Her face changed. It was suddenly hard and angry and it scared me.

"He promised me, too," she said. "But now we're on our own."

***

Magic receded and the pain slightly lightened.

I squeezed my eyes shut, relief flickering through me at the temporary respite.

Your first memory is your father.

"Yes."

Why?

I struggled to put together a cohesive thought. "What do you mean why?"

Answer
.

Magic lashed against me like a whip and my body flinched.

"I don't know," I said.

Energy dove deep and pressure split my insides. I cried out at the pain.

Why do you not remember anything before it?

"Because I've forgotten," I managed. A strange guilt accompanied the words. "I don't remember what it was like before he died."

I swallowed hard as it accepted my answer.

Pressure eased for a moment and then Magic plunged back in.

***

"You have to learn."

I knew she cried in her room when she thought I couldn't hear. I only cried when something hurt.

So I wanted to do this. I wanted to be a big girl.

"Okay."

She shaped my hand. My fingers felt strange, curled under and digging into my palms. Almost like I made a hammer with my hand.

She pointed to a big hanging bag she brought back from the store yesterday. "You need to hit this as hard as you can."

"How many times?" I asked, excited. Maybe it was like a game.

But she didn't look like she wanted to play. She looked sad.

"As many times as you need to." She crouched in front of me and pointed at her face. "And then you need to hit here."

Suddenly, I was really, really scared. I didn't want to play this game.

I shook my head. "No, mommy. I don't wanna."

"Kendra." She placed her hands on my shoulders. "You have to trust me."
 

***

Magic withdrew.

Everything felt raw, ragged. I struggled to take in a breath.

You did not want to do this.

"No."

What happened when you did?
 

"I cried. Every time my fist made contact with the bag. With her face."

Why?

"Because it hurt." I shut my eyes, wishing I could unsee what I'd put aside for so long. "Because it hurt her. It hurt my hand. Because it was a hurt that never stopped."

In what way?

I thought about those long days of childhood. As Rogues, we lived among humans. There were no Healers to quickly remove the pain, no magic fix that erased the consequences.

"Every time I reached for something, my hand hurt. And each time my hand hurt, I remembered what she'd done. I remembered that I had to train and become stronger." I paused. "That's what she wanted."

This time, my body was ready for the pain as Magic returned.

****

I disappointed her again, but I wasn't sure how.

I snuck downstairs, heard soft sounds coming from the den. I couldn't sleep because I wanted to say sorry for making her mad.

I couldn't control this magic that wasn't like hers. She was trying to teach me how to stop it but it was hard.

Boxes filled the living room, but they were less than we had at the beginning. She didn't bring everything with us on this move.

The door to the den was slightly open. I peeked inside.

She sat on the floor, a box opened beside her, and watched a video on her laptop.

It was Daddy. Holding my hand and running with me down a beach.

Tears dripped down her cheeks and landed on her hands. It made me sad and scared so I ran back to bed and hid under the covers.

When she woke me the next morning, she didn't say anything and she still looked angry.

Maybe it was a dream.

But when I threw away my juice box after breakfast, I saw the silver discs in the trash. I knew all of them held Daddy.

And when we moved again, we took fewer boxes.

***

Why do you think she was angry?

The truth strummed at the very base of my spine, but I'd ignored it for so long I couldn't bring the words forward.

Magic tightened.

Why?

Pain bloomed. I had to say it.

"Because she blamed me for his death."

Do you believe you are responsible?

"I don't know."

Pressure ground against my head.

"I don't want to know," I amended.

The scene shifted.

***

He held the bear high up in the air, cruel fingers digging into its leg. His friend laughed.

"Mommy! They won't give him back!"

I glanced around and my chest hurt.

She was gone.

She was standing next to me. I know she was. I talked to her right before they showed up and grabbed Mr. Bristol off the ground.

But now I was alone.

"Look at her. She's crying for momma."