Crest (Ondine Quartet Book 3) (57 page)

Maybe that was the point.

I opened the bag next to me and pulled out the spear.

"This belongs to you."

Claw pulled it close and beastly eyes raked over the wood and tip.

The faintest of sighs brushed against my mind.

"He made it for me."

I nodded. "He loved you. Deeply."

The threads had been strong, filled with admiration and respect, fascination, and also something slightly possessive. All of it had hardened into something deadly.

"He found my egg in the muddy remains of a great storm." It huffed, weight shifting back and forth. "He hid me from his parents and took care of me until I emerged. I taught him how to forge weapons, showed him skills I innately knew. His father was amazed at his son's talent and the family's fame grew. He asked me if I'd stay forever and I promised him I would."

"Why did you leave?"

A small whimper resonated, the sound filled with regret and sorrow.

"As I grew, he grew. I understood he was growing faster than me. That his life would end in mere seconds while mine would last an eternity. So I left."

"And he waited."

Sharp cry scraped my chest. "He constructed the spear to share with me if I ever returned. He imbued it with himself and bound it to me. But the more years passed, the more alone he felt. That magic transformed, grew bitter. I said I would not leave him. I broke that promise."

It'd left before it could be left behind.

A beast capable of ripping heads off with one swipe and eating an entire village for lunch had been afraid.

Like Jourdain, a distinctly mortal emotion affected an immortal being and had far-reaching consequences.

"I leave today. Will you help me?"

"You have upheld your end of the agreement. I will make your weapons,
sondaleur
."

Relief flooded me. I stood. "How can I reach you?"

Sharp claw lightly touched my shirt, above the elemental brand.

A thin, thread of old magic tugged my mind.

Call
.

I nodded. On impulse, I reached out and placed my hand on its side.

It froze.

Breathing slowed, as if it didn't want to scare me.

Unlike its metallic appearance, the silver scales were soft, giving slightly under my touch. Heat seeped into my palm.

"You're the first and last," I whispered. "But you're not alone."

Topaz eyes blinked.

I'd walked halfway through the cave when it called.

"
Sondaleur
."

I halted.

"He called me Valeil. The Silver Sun."

The name brushed against my mind, a soaring rainbow reflecting against an endless sky.

THE AZURE LAGOON GLITTERED AS brightly as the first time I saw it from the plane.

A blonde male stood before it, shoulders hunched and hands shoved inside his pockets. Tall glacial peaks loomed over him like giants.

I'd considered walking away. But if I left without saying anything, it would make things more difficult down the line.

"I thought you were leaving." He didn't turn around.

"In an hour or so." I joined him along the water's edge. "You told Yahaira about our plan."

He nodded, but didn't look at me. "She invited me over for dinner. I always was a sucker for her meatloaf."

Tristan would've responsibly told Dax about the plan in case he didn't return. It was his duty to inform the next in line to the throne.

Dax then told Yahaira in a soothing conversation punctuated by sips of flavorful tea, his stomach full and content with delicious food.

The person who adored Yahaira like family was the Belicoux selkie she'd hoped would finally become a son-in-law.

"And the rope and beam?"

He swallowed hard. "I never meant to seriously injure you. Just show you things are different here and that you can't take over our space."

Dropping from that height would've given him a slight injury, quickly healed through shapeshifter magic. But I could've snapped my neck.

He'd treated me like a selkie. I wasn't sure if I should be flattered or not.

I tossed a pebble into the water. "You know all that territorial stuff is just an excuse, right?"

Fear was a hell of a bitch. It made you see things that weren't real, froze you so deeply you spent years hiding from an inevitable future.

It either sent you blindly running in the opposite direction or charging headfirst into battle, even if you didn't know why.

"Everybody's too busy trying to survive and deal with their own problems. No one's controlling the way you do things. Your kingdom will always belong to your people."

"Tristan said that too, almost word for word." Dax picked up a smooth, grey stone and studied it. "I screwed up."

Dax lost Eric, but he'd also lost Tristan when he walked away. After his mother's death, he'd lost his father who obsessed over his older sons rather than seeing the boy he had in front of him.

He'd remained alone in this isolated land. Yahaira had simply stepped into the void and given Dax the family he craved.

How could I fault his trust? The Shadow was a master at using our emotional vulnerabilities as weapons.

He took a deep breath. "Did you tell Tristan?"

"Nope. I don't plan on telling him. Or your father."

Dax still didn't look at me. He threw the stone and it skipped perfectly across the placid water to the opposite edge of the lagoon.

"I don't deserve that."

"It's not for you." I paused. "Or for me, either."

It was for Tristan. It would kill him, hurt him deeply to find out why his brother had been manipulated by Yahaira.

I didn't want him to hurt.

"Myrddin was looking for you in the palace," I said. "Aren't you a month away from induction trials?"

He didn't answer.

I sighed. "You're a great fighter, Dax. You deserve to be a gardinel."

"How do you know?" he asked roughly. "How can you ever be sure you're doing the right thing? I thought Yahaira was..." He stopped.

"You can't."

I thought of Robby and Jason. Watching the sunset with Amber, listening to Renee as she spoke about what she'd imagined her life would be.

"No one can be more than what they're aware of at the time. So you make mistakes." The faded scar on my inner elbow tingled. "But being a brave fighter or a strong leader doesn't mean you don't feel fear or doubt. It means you continue to fight and lead despite it."

I pulled the drawstring bag out of my pocket and removed the heavy object.

"Your brother gave me this at a time when I deeply needed it. But I think it belongs to you."

I passed it to him.

For a long moment, Dax stared at Eric's sapphire
pedaillon
.

Fingers curved tight around it. Hand swiped his eyes.

I turned back to the water. It was now or never.

"I have a question." I kept my voice light.

He swallowed. "Anything."

"What did Tristan do when he returned here last summer?"

Slight hesitation. "He retired from being a gardinel."

"Anything else?"

He didn't answer.

"Dax?"

He looked me straight in the eye. "He doesn't want you to know."

My pulse sped up. "Why?"

"He wants you to be free."

The words kicked hard, breaking through my chest and lodging somewhere deep.

"I support my brother and I'll never forget what he sacrificed for us. I wanted to help him. But I was so angry with you, Kendra," he said quietly. "I was so angry because he's my only remaining brother."

Realization squeezed my chest. I needed to see him.

"I'll protect him, Dax."

He faced the lagoon. "I know."

On my way back to the palace, I turned back once.

Two figures approached Dax from the east. I almost didn't recognize Helene without a camera obscuring her face. Lucas' head was up, his expression clear.

Human, ondine, selkie. Their profiles appeared young and achingly fragile against the stark glacial beauty behind them.

By the time I knocked on his door, sweat stained my palms and heart pounded against my ribs.

"Come in."

He sat behind his desk, drinking a cup of coffee and studying a pile of papers. Even in the most ordinary setting, an intensity radiated off him that made him extraordinary.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a plane?"

Irrational anger suddenly shot through me. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Tristan's brow furrowed and he glanced down at the folder in his hand. "Determining if someone whose hobbies include knitting doll clothes can fill Sian's place on the Advisory Council. Why?"

I marched to his desk and slammed my hands down. Ouch.

"I spoke to Dax."

Tension stretched between us.

He carefully placed the folder on his desk and gave me a long, searching look. "And?"

"What did you do when you returned last summer?"

He stood. "I prepared for the future of this kingdom."

"By giving up being gardinel?"

His face could've been carved out of stone. "You needed political backing and protection to accomplish your goals as
sondaleur
. It was where I could help you the most."

Because he knew me.

From the very beginning, he believed I could fight and he knew my strength lay out in the field.

He also knew my weaknesses.

So he'd dedicated himself to the throne, a position he didn't want, to provide support I greatly needed.

But his response just made me more mad.

"You don't even like being royal," I pointed out.

"It was the right thing to do."

My fingers dug into the wood so hard I almost expected bones to crack.

"And when I mated with a demillir? When my mate sits beside me for all events?"

His eyes betrayed nothing. "I would've been in a position to still provide political reinforcement. I would continue to fight beside you."

I'd never abandon you.

Time slowed.

Profound fear nestled deep in my chest. I stood on the edge of a precipice, earth cracking open before me, facing something I'd lost control of long ago.

Insides shook.

I couldn't say it. I couldn't make my mouth open.

"Kendra?" His voice gentled.

If I never asked, if I never knew, I'd regret it for the rest of my life.

Fly or die trying.

"And if I chose differently?" I asked hoarsely. "Someone not a demillir or human?"

He stilled. "Dax would take over the throne."

The knot in my throat was so large I could barely squeeze the word out.

"Why?"

"Because if you made that choice, I wouldn't let you go down there alone."

He said it so easily, so simply, as if leaving everything behind to spend the rest of his life in selkie form underwater with me was normal.

The haunting image of Renee and the sheer blankness of her expression burned behind my eyelids.

"But..." My throat worked and I blinked rapidly. "I wouldn't remember."

Any of it. Him, me, us.

He'd be giving everything up to float the rest of his life beside a ghost of who I was.

He met my gaze. So strong. Certain. "I'd remember for both of us."

The words flowed into my chest, filling that deep crevice that only existed for him.

"That's what you were doing for six months. Preparing Dax."

"It took me six years after Eric died to learn the laws and system." He turned to look out the window. "After Eric, I thought this was all there was. A future of war and death. A life defined by duty and obligation. And then I met you." He paused. "You were a revelation."

I stepped around the desk on shaky legs. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He shook his head. "Because the one facing the most difficult consequences is not me. My choice was simple and was made long ago."

He wants you to be free.

It would've given him too much power over me.

He didn't want me to feel pressured or obligated, recklessly running toward him without understanding the consequences of my decision.

Instead, he'd silently arranged things, accepted the burden of the weight, and waited for me to reach my own conclusions. He'd been prepared to accept my decision whatever it was.

In a world of prophecy and war, where so much of my life followed a path laid out by duty and destiny, Tristan had enough strength to give me what no one else could.

The one precious thing I needed the most.

A choice.

The moment I went after that spear, I'd made my decision without hesitation or regret.

I would've ravaged cities, cut through mountains, and torched the heavens to save him.

He would've scoured the oceans, slashed through ten thousand Aquidae, and gone to the ends of the earth to find me.

Always
.

I'd end this war and prepare our people for their future, just as he did with his kingdom.

Five years with him rather than none. Five years in exchange for my mortality.

I would take it in a heartbeat.

The world narrowed.

I slowly lay my palm against his chest. Beneath it, I felt his strong heart beat a little faster.

Body tensed at my touch. Barely restrained power vibrated just underneath his skin.

"I almost lost you," he said tightly.

He was giving me a chance to walk away. Once we did this, there was no going back for either of us.

But for the first time in my life, I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

"I'm right here."

My hand slipped up, over the breadth of his shoulder, cupping the smooth warmth of his neck.

Showing him I was here.

Reassuring me he was real.

This
was real.

I lifted my arms and wrapped them around his neck.

"I'm here and I choose you —"

Strong arms pulled me flush against his warm body.

Wild hunger gleamed in his eyes and his expression was almost pained.

"Again." Arms circled tighter around my waist. "Again, Kendra."

"I choose you," I said clearly.

And this time, when his mouth met mine, there was nothing between us.