Authors: T. L. Haddix
Chapter Thirty-One
A
s he stood there looking down at Amelia’s smiling face, feeling her body pressing into his, Logan froze. She was putting herself into his hands, literally, trusting him to not hurt her. And God help him, Logan didn’t know what in the hell to do next. It was as though the instant she’d said “go,” all the knowledge he had about sex and intimacy fled his brain.
“Um.” His face heated as his mind raced, trying to figure out what to do.
“Logan?” She tilted her head, a tiny frown creasing her brow. “You okay?”
“This is awkward but I don’t… I’ve never done this with a virgin. I don’t know what to do,” he blurted. In addition to the hot flush, sweat started beading his hairline.
Her first reaction was to laugh, which made Logan scowl down at her in consternation. When she saw he was serious, she blinked up at him in confusion. “You’ve never been… not even your first time?”
Logan slid her arms down from around his neck and paced back to the fire. “No. She was older. Not that much older,” he hurried to say when he saw the outrage on her face, “just a couple of years. But she wasn’t a virgin. What if I mess things up? You’re trusting me to… to… This isn’t just a casual thing for you, either, Amelia. I know it isn’t. And that scares me.”
“Oh, Logan. What am I going to do with you?” she asked softly.
“Hell if I know. If you figure it out, let me know, please?” He braced his hands on the mantel and stared down at the dancing flames. The last time he’d been this nervous was probably when
he
was a virgin. So much for any kind of macho image he’d had. At this rate, he’d be lucky if she didn’t take off running out the door.
“Well, I suppose I could get you drunk,” she mused after a minute. When he raised startled eyes to hers, she smiled slowly. “I hear virgin sex is the best kind, you know.” With that pronouncement, she turned and went into the bedroom.
After a stunned hesitation, Logan followed. As he went through the door, the hum of electricity filled the apartment and the lights in the kitchen came back on.
Amelia wasted no time in turning the lamp on beside the bed. “Hey, at least we can see each other now.”
Logan watched as she put her hands on her hips and studied the bed. He couldn’t have said anything right then if his life depended on it.
“Okay, so we have two options here. Sheets up,” she said as she grabbed the covers and flipped them over his side of the bed, “or sheets down?” Back to the bottom of the bed the covers went. She looked at him and, when he didn’t respond, frowned. “Up or down?” She demonstrated again.
Logan cleared his throat and hoped that whatever he said didn’t come out in some ridiculous squeak. “Up is fine.”
She smiled as though he were a prize pupil and made the change. “Up it is. Now that’s out of the way, let’s deal with clothing. We need to be naked, I gather, for this to work.” And just that fast, she whipped his T-shirt over her head and tossed it to him.
Logan caught it reflexively and answered without thinking. “Not all the way. Just the pertinent parts.”
Amelia raised an eyebrow, her mouth moving into a knowing grin. “Oh, someone
has
been naughty… So I should stop?”
He laughed helplessly but his response was firm. “No. Absolutely do not stop.” He hung the shirt on the iron post at the foot of the bed, starting to relax thanks to her playfulness. The sight of the curves she’d uncovered, outlined by the formfitting tank top and leggings, didn’t hurt. He was starting to enjoy himself.
“If you’re sure…” She took her socks off and tossed them into the corner, then looked down at herself. “Hmmm, I think the pants next.”
As she shimmied out of them, Logan stretched out across the foot of the bed, watching with fascination and growing arousal. The panties she wore were soft pink, lacy, and utterly feminine. His hands itched to touch the full curves of her hips, her behind, but he was having so much fun watching her “instruct” him, he resisted.
“That’s good, you get comfortable,” she said when she’d straightened, the pants joining the socks in the corner. “From what I hear, a nice, comfy bed is a good idea. Although a lot people do lose their virginity in the backseat of a car or on a couch.” She pursed her lips and turned as though looking through the wall at the couch beyond. When she turned back to Logan, he shook his head and smiled.
“No.”
Eyes full of mischief, she walked to where his feet stuck out over the edge of the mattress and tickled his toes, making him jerk. “Where did you lose your virginity?”
She was too tempting for him to resist any longer. Lunging up, Logan grabbed her around the hips and pulled her back on the bed on top of him. She shrieked with laughter and grabbed at his shoulders.
“That needs to stay in the past, don’t you think?” he asked as he settled her legs around his hips. Her hair had tumbled around her shoulders and covered her face, and she pushed it back as she laughed. A few locks slipped back down, though, and Logan reached up to trace the golden silk. Hanging above him, her face open and happy, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“No, I’m a curious writer and I want to know.” She goosed him lightly in the side, but her laughter faded as she saw the way he was looking at her. “What?”
Logan gave a single shake of his head. “You. You’re amazing, you know that?” He didn’t let her respond but rose up at the same time as he slid his hand into her hair, around the back of her neck, and he kissed her.
From there it was simple. The kiss grew deeper, more heated, and instinct took over. He slid his hands down her back and under her shirt, stripping it over her head easily. Her bra followed and once her breasts were free, Logan broke the kiss to reach between them and touch her soft curves. Amelia gasped when his thumbs found her nipples.
“Oh. That’s… ohh.”
Logan flipped them so that he was lying on top of her, his weight half on her and half off. He put his glasses on the nightstand, not needing them in such close quarters. Her leg came up and wrapped around his hip as he looked his fill. With his left hand, he traced the outline of her areola, then lowered his head to softly tug the nipple into his mouth.
Amelia’s back came off the bed, her hands coming up to his hair. When he moved to the other breast, she moaned. “I guess you remembered what to do, huh?”
The laugh that emerged from his throat surprised him. Logan didn’t think he had ever laughed so much with a woman, especially not during intimacy. In response to her question, he sealed his mouth to hers again briefly. “I think it’s coming back to me, yes.”
She wasn’t passive as the lovemaking progressed. Logan was delighted when her hands started roaming his body, exploring the angles and planes with an innocent sensuousness that warned him she was going to be dangerous once she had a little experience under her belt.
Almost too soon, the heat level had risen to the point where his body was driving him for more, faster, now. All the signs were there, telling him Amelia was right along with him, but he was still terrified he was going to hurt her. He told her as much as he settled in between her hips, his erection tantalizingly close to her hot wetness.
“I don’t know what to expect. I’m sorry.”
She shook her head and arched her hips up, causing the tip of him to brush against her in a move that had them both gasping and groaning. “Don’t. This is good. Even if it hurts, it’s still good. Logan, please. Don’t make me wait.”
The edge of desperation in her voice convinced him she was ready, as much as the flush of arousal that had washed over her face and chest, and the very obvious wetness between her legs. Saying a silent prayer that he could make this good for her, he positioned himself and slid forward.
Her breath caught on an inhalation, her eyes widening as he entered her. Logan moved slowly despite the almost overwhelming need to take her fast and hard. It felt like forever before he was fully seated.
“Oh, God. You’re… Amelia, oh, God.” He buried his face in her neck, his hands tightening convulsively in the sheets beside her. She fit him so tightly it almost hurt, but in the best way possible. Without the barrier of a condom between them, he could feel everything. “Okay?”
She nodded, her own hands clenching on his shoulders as she shifted her hips. “You’re much bigger than my—” She broke off, her face turning crimson.
Logan stared down at her, his mind warring with his body. “Bigger than your what?”
“I have a toy,” she confessed, then buried her face in his neck. “Oh, God, this is embarrassing.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me that before?” Laughter warred with passion as he struggled to clear his mind enough to respond. He braced himself on his elbows, the movement driving him deeper inside her. Passion won out, and he reached back, drawing her legs up farther around his hips. “Hold on,” he warned her.
The next few minutes were some of the most intimate, incredible moments of his life thus far. Now that he wasn’t as concerned with hurting her, he let his body take over for the most part. As much as he wanted to make her come apart, he couldn’t wait. When she brought her hips up to meet his down thrust, clenching tightly around him at the same time, he lost it.
As soon as he could breathe again, he reached between them to where they were still joined. Amelia cried out and moved against his hand in a jerky rhythm that told him she was close. He watched her face as he used his fingers to bring her up and over the brink into a shattering orgasm. As she came down, he rested his weight lightly on top of her, his hands tangling with hers on the bed on either side of her head.
Logan buried his face in her neck again, gently kissing the damp skin he found there. “Amelia,” he whispered, hoping his tone conveyed all the feelings that were swirling around inside him. All he could do was repeat her name and hold her. This had been so different from anything he’d ever experienced before, he knew he was in over his head. And for the first time since he’d realized how dangerous she was to him, he truly didn’t care.
Chapter Thirty-Two
A
melia’s arms felt like they weighed a ton, too limp and heavy to move. As she lay under Logan, who was still inside her, she tried to pull her scattered thoughts back together, but even that took too much effort.
The way he was looking down at her, eyes full of emotion, reached inside to heal a place that had been rubbed raw over the last few weeks and months. Even so, she was glad he wasn’t declaring love for her from the rooftops. She wasn’t up to dealing with that at the moment.
Feeling his weight on top of her, the way his thumbs brushed back and forth over hers, the slide of his skin against hers, it was too big for words. For so long, she’d wondered what this sort of intimacy truly felt like. And since she’d met Logan, she’d wanted him. Regardless of his hurtful words, he’d appealed to her so deeply on so many levels just being near him was a sort of torture.
“I can hardly believe I’m here,” she whispered. She pulled her right hand free and traced the line of his jaw, then his lips. “If I’m dreaming, don’t wake me up.”
Logan smiled. “I won’t. Because I’d have to wake up, too.” He kissed her softly, then sighed. “I should get up. Um, this could be messy.”
It was messy, and Amelia was fascinated by the whole process. Sex in reality was nothing like sex in romance novels, and she told Logan that as he ran a hot bath for her.
He frowned. “How so?”
She eased down into the hot water with a sigh. “Don’t get me wrong. It was wonderful. I don’t mean to imply it wasn’t. But in the books there’s no mention of the practicalities of sex. Oftentimes, the couple falls asleep in each other’s arms, and in the morning they wake up and make glorious love again, then go on with their day.”
Logan, clad again in flannel pants, hunkered down next to the tub and kissed her. “I’m more than game for glorious lovemaking first thing in the morning. But I’m guessing the books don’t cover anything as impractical as morning breath, either. Right?”
“Right. Dental hygiene is automatic. Just like showers on sci-fi shows.” She let her hand trail across his chest, then up around his neck to pull him down to her for another kiss.
She soaked a few minutes until she convinced Logan she wasn’t sore. Getting out of the bathtub in front of him was a little disconcerting, especially when he helped dry her off, but she relished every minute.
“Did you bring something to sleep in?” he asked.
“Um…” She hadn’t. That was one thing she’d completely forgotten. “I may need to borrow a shirt.”
He used the towel to pull her close to him. “I can arrange that.”
Once they were tucked in bed, her back to his front, his arm around her, he brought up the one thing she’d hoped he’d forgotten about in the heat of the moment.
“So tell me about this toy.”
Amelia groaned and hid her face in her hands, even though the lights were off. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“Only if you tell me how you lost your virginity.” She felt the tension that crept into his body.
“Fine. You first.”
She didn’t speak for a minute. “Emma and Zanny have this store they like to visit in Lexington. It’s an adult store,” she confessed quietly. “I tagged along with them a few times. And after a while, I started wondering about things. I couldn’t bring myself to go out and pick some random guy up in a bar, or even to do anything with a couple of friends who expressed interest in being more, so I went down one weekend on my own, and I got the toy. And… I use it from time to time.”
He kissed her hair, nuzzling his face into the tresses. “Why does that embarrass you?”
She felt her cheeks flame. “Because it sounds desperate.”
“No. No more desperate than me using my hand. There’s no difference.”
“Oh.” Amelia didn’t know what to think. “I guess you have a point. So what about you?”
Logan tucked her in closer, tightening his arm in a hug. “Gosh, I’m getting tired. Maybe we should continue this conversation in the morning.”
Reaching back, Amelia found the inside of his thigh and pinched it.
“Ow!”
“Your turn for confession, soldier boy.”
He groaned into her hair. “Fine. But I’m not proud of this.” He sighed and began. “I was fifteen, full of piss and vinegar, and there was this girl. Like I said, she was a couple of years older. She worked as a waitress at a little diner not far from the house, and I’d go there to hang out with my friends. One thing led to another one night, and next thing I know, we’re out back of the diner in the alleyway, and she’s got some guy’s tailgate down. No, that isn’t a euphemism,” he said before she could ask.
“Well, it could be,” Amelia snorted. “So what happened?”
“What do you think? She pulled her skirt up, my pants down, and bam. It wasn’t romance and hearts, not even close. It was just sex. Somehow, Dad found out about it, and he took his belt to me when I confessed that I hadn’t used a condom. You can bet I never went without one again.”
“Until tonight.”
He lifted one of her hands and kissed the back, then laced their fingers together. “Until tonight. And I’m glad.”
She relaxed against him, hearing the truth in his words. “So am I.”