Cross My Heart (18 page)

"And now you have?" she asked, and wished for the
thousandth time she'd never broached the subject of Dinah Jefferson in
the first place.

"Yes," he said soberly. "And I discovered it wasn't the
memory of Dinah that was tormenting me. It was the fact that I'd lost
you."

Elyse jerked her head back to look at him. "Me?"

Placing one finger under her chin, he closed her still
open mouth. "Yes, you. Why did you think I asked you to marry me?"

"Because you felt guilty about making love with me," she
answered honestly.

He closed his eyes for a moment. "I did feel a little
guilty because I hadn't been able to wait until I got my feelings
sorted out before I took you to bed, but it had nothing to do with
Dinah. At least, not with any nonsense about being disloyal to her, or
hoping she'd come back. My concern was that I might not be able to love
again, at least not in the way you deserve to be loved."

Elyse held her breath as she waited for him to continue.

"I discovered during this past week that my fears were
unfounded. What I feel for you has got to be love—it's too
strong not to be. I'm happy when you're happy, and miserable when
you're upset. I worry about you when you're away from me, and I feel
whole only when you're with me. I admire your fine mind and your
artistic talent, and such a small everyday thing as the touch of your
hand in mine brightens my life. I experience an ecstasy beyond words
when we make love, and all of those feelings together add up to love,
my darling. They make a strong sure bond for building a marriage."

He put his arms around her then and lifted her face so she
looked directly at him. "Say you'll marry me, Elyse. I want you, I need
you, I love you. I want to be Janey's father, I'd like to adopt her,
and I promise to love her as my own."

Tears shimmered in Elyse's eyes, and she trembled with the
overpowering emotions of love, joy and exuberance that racked her
slender body. It would be all right; everything would work out. Clint
loved her, and oh, God, how she loved him.

She put her arms around his neck and kissed the pulse
beating below his jaw. "Of course I'll marry you." Her voice quavered.
"I can't even imagine a life without you."

She turned her head and their lips met. It was a cautious
kiss, hungry but restrained as they each fought for self-control.
Clint's hand roamed over her almost roughly, as if the need to touch
every part of her was more than he could resist.

Elyse put her arms under his suit jacket and pulled his
shirt out of his trousers so she could caress his bare back, and he
shivered as her fingers kneaded his flexing muscles. One of his hands
cupped her breast while the other dropped to her thigh and worked its
way under her skirt. Throbbing with need, Elyse dipped her fingers
below the waistband of his trousers.

Clint tensed and clutched at her bare thigh. "Have mercy,
love," he groaned. "Don't keep me waiting any longer."

"Who's resisting?" she murmured, squirming impatiently.
"Does this apartment have a bedroom?"

His mouth turned up at the corners in a small grin. "Does
it matter?"

She nibbled at his bottom lip. "Not at all. I'll make love
with you anyplace."

His arms tightened spasmodically. "Keep talking like that
and we'll wind up right here on the floor." He released her, then stood
and took her hand to lead her down the hall to a bedroom.

He flicked a wall switch, and a brass lamp on a cherrywood
table beside a matching bed provided soft illumination for the
blue-and-white room. Clint removed his jacket and tossed it onto a
chair, then turned back to Elyse. "Now let's get you out of those
clothes," he said, and reached for her zipper.

He undressed her quickly, but when she reached for his
shirt buttons he caught her hand and moved it to his lips, instead.
"You'd better let me do that myself," he said, and kissed her palm.
"I'd never survive those seductive little fingers touching and stroking
and probing me into insanity."

He stripped his clothes off while she turned back the
covers, and they tumbled into bed together. Rolling over so that his
body partially covered her, Clint lowered his mouth to hers. Elyse
wrapped her arms around his neck and parted her lips to his seeking
tongue.

"Oh, how I've missed you," he murmured as his hand
caressed her firm round breast. "You've built a fire in me that can't
be quenched."

"I try," she whispered as she ran her fingernails across
his shoulders. She shuddered as his hand slid down to her stomach while
his mouth moved to tease her breast.

Slowly she played her fingertips down his spine until they
settled in the hollow at the base. His breathing was raspy. "If you try
any harder I'm going to be incinerated," Clint warned as her palms
rubbed his firm hard buttocks.

He shifted downward and laid his cheek against her
abdomen. Elyse felt a rush of liquid warmth deep inside her and
clutched at his hair as he planted moist kisses around her navel, then
veered lower.

"Clint, no," she moaned, wriggling with a combination of
intense pleasure and apprehension. "I've never—"

He raised up, repositioning his face to the soft space
between her breasts. "It's all right, love," he reassured her. "I won't
do anything you don't want me to do."

She kissed the top of his head. "It's just that
I…I've never…never…"

"I'm glad," he said softly. "When you're ready I want to
be the first and only."

His fingers stroked the soft curly hair that protected her
most intimate recesses. She gasped and arched against his hand as she
clutched his shoulders. "Clint!" she cried, and dug her heels into the
back of his thighs as his fingers probed deeper. "Please. Now!"

With a tortured growl of surrender he moved over her and
plunged swiftly into her moist heat, locking her in a fierce embrace
that made them truly a part of each other as together they touched the
stars.

Clint and Elyse were jubilant as they drove to Placerville
early that morning. When they told Liz of their marriage plans, she
hugged them both and steadfastly refused to apologize for her part in
the deception that had brought them together the night before. "Why
don't we make it a double wedding at Tahoe next weekend?" she asked.

Elyse looked at Clint, expecting him to agree, and was
surprised to see him hesitate. "I don't think that's a good idea, Liz,"
he said slowly. "With the election coming up early next month I have a
schedule that hardly leaves me time to breathe. I have appointments
that start at six in the morning and go on into the night."

He put his arm around Elyse and hugged her to his side.
"When I marry your beautiful little sister I want to take her away
someplace where we can have at least a month of uninterrupted
honeymoon."

He leaned down and kissed Elyse on the nose, then winked
at Liz. "If I knew she was home waiting for me now, I'd lose the
election for sure. It's difficult to run for office from the bedroom."

Elyse laughed and punched him and vowed not to let him see
her disappointment. She was being silly. After all, what difference did
a few weeks make?

It was late in the afternoon on Wednesday before she saw
him again. He picked her up to take her to his house for dinner, where
he introduced her to Alice and Grover Irwin, who served him as
housekeeper and handyman. But when he made the introductions, he didn't
mention that he and Elyse were engaged. She liked the elderly couple,
who treated Clint more as a son than an employer, and she wondered why
he hadn't told them he was going to be married.

"We're having a visitor after dinner," Clint told her as
they sipped sherry while waiting for the meal to be served.

Elyse felt a stab of dismay. She'd assumed they'd be
spending the evening alone, preferably in bed, but she flashed a
determined smile. "Oh, how nice," she said brightly.

"Like hell it is," Clint muttered, "but it'll be up to you
how long he stays."

"Me?"

He grinned. "Yeah, so rush it a little, will you? We have
better things to do than visit."

Just then Alice announced that dinner was ready, and Clint
teasingly refused to discuss the subject further.

They were finishing coffee and cherry pie in the great
room, when the doorbell rang and Alice escorted a well-dressed
middle-aged man in to join them. Clint rose and extended his hand.
"Harold—good to see you. I really appreciate your coming here
like this."

Harold shifted the leather briefcase he carried and shook
hands with Clint. "Happy to do it, Senator," he said with a smile.

Clint introduced Harold to Elyse, then said, "Harold owns
Gaylord's Jewelry Store in Sacramento, and I've asked him to bring a
selection of rings for you to look at."

Elyse stared as the jeweler set his case on the coffee
table and opened it. Everyone was familiar with Gay-lord's but few
could afford to shop there. She watched as he uncovered a velvet tray
of diamond rings. They were gorgeous, and although there were no price
tags in evidence, she knew the rings must be monstrously expensive.

"I… I don't know what to say." She moved closer
to Clint, and he took her hand.

"Don't say anything." There was a note of humor in his
tone. "Just look them over and see if there's one you like."

"I like them all!"

"Ah, now there's a lady after my own heart," Harold said
with a chuckle.

Clint laughed. "I'm afraid my checking account isn't quite
that
healthy."

"Oh, I didn't mean—"

He squeezed her hand. "I know you didn't, love. I only
wish I could shower you with jewels, but at the current market price
we'll have to work up to that a few at a time."

Clint picked up a ring with an oval-shaped diamond that
was almost obscenely large and had several rows of smaller diamonds
around it. "How about this one?"

She shook her head, refusing even to consider it. "If I
wore that one I wouldn't be able to raise my hand," she teased.

Elyse had never yearned for jewels. On her list of
priorities they were near the bottom. She hadn't had a ring when she
was engaged to Jerry; they couldn't afford it. They'd chosen a plain
gold band to be married with, and had the wedding taken place, she
would have cherished it as much as if it had been encrusted with
diamonds.

Clint could afford the engagement gift, but it wasn't the
size of the jewel that would make it precious to her; it was what it
symbolized: the promise of love and commitment.

As she fingered the beautiful jewelry she remembered Clint
had mentioned a diamond ring that Dinah had returned to him. She
wondered what it looked like. She didn't want to inadvertently pick a
similar one. Maybe she could…

She addressed her question to the jeweler. "Do engagement
rings always have to be diamonds?"

"Not at all," he said, "although the diamond is
traditional. Would you prefer to see some other gem-stones?"

She looked questioningly at Clint. "Would you mind?"

"Whatever you want," he said, sounding perplexed. "Don't
you like diamonds?"

"I've never had one, but they seem so…so cold,
somehow."

Harold had removed another velvet tray from his briefcase,
and he opened it to reveal a mixture of green, red, blue and amber
jewels.

Elyse caught her breath. "Oh, they're exquisite!"

One ring in particular caught her eye. It was a solitary
brilliant green gem that almost exactly matched the color of Clint's
eyes. She picked it up and held it to the light. It seemed nearly alive
in its warm sparkling beauty, and she knew this was the one she wanted.

She held it out to Harold. "Is this one terribly
expensive?"

Clint answered. "As long as you don't want a whole tray
full of them, cost is no object. Do you like that one?"

"I love it," she said simply. "It almost breathes."

The jeweller smiled. "That's a premier quality emerald. An
excellent choice. Would you like to try it on?"

Wordlessly she slid the ring onto her fourth finger, left
hand, and it fit as if it had been sized for her. It occurred to her
that it wasn't a very practical ring—the stone was so large
and prominently set that it would probably catch on
everything—but all her life she'd been practical. This time
she was going to take what she wanted, and to hell with the
consequences.

As she pulled the ring off she realized she was doing the
same thing by marrying Clint. Taking what she wanted, and to hell with
the consequences. She'd deal with the future as it came along.

When the transaction was concluded, Harold left, and Clint
held the ring. He put his arms around Elyse and kissed her, then took
her left hand in his and slid the ring on her finger. "From this day
forward, for better or for worse," he said.

She choked back tears of happiness as he gathered her
close and held her.

When she was sure she could talk around the lump in her
throat she pulled back to look at him and said, "I didn't know jewelers
made house calls."

He chuckled. "Usually they don't, but we've done business
with Harold for years. I explained that I didn't really have the time
to bring you into the store, and also that we didn't want—"

He stopped talking and a look of chagrin crossed his face.

She waited for him to continue, but when he didn't she
said, "Yes? We didn't want
what
?"

He didn't answer, but led her over to the couch where they
sat down side by side. "Honey," he said, not looking directly at her.
"Would you mind if we postponed announcing our engagement until after
the election next month?"

Elyse was startled, but she managed to keep it from
sounding in her voice. "I suppose not, if you think it's best. I know
you said you didn't want to get married right away, but is there some
reason we should keep our plans a secret?"