Crossing (10 page)

“Can I be super lame and ask you to take my picture with—”

Liam’s phone makes a clicking sound. “On it. Now smile for this one, ’cause you were talking during that one.”

“Hold on.” I take my phone out of my backpack and hand it to him. “Take one on mine too.”
Just in case.

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, but I’m also going to send you the pics from my phone, because your model takes shitty photos.”

We commence to having a mini photo shoot of me and a piece of paper.

“Now one of us together,” Liam says, putting his face next to mine. He takes the picture and then looks at it. He laughs. “You look like you’re in shock.”

“That’s because I am.”

He kisses my cheek and takes another photo. Liam checks that one out. “Better.”

“What’s your first class?” I ask, realizing I’m going to be late because mine is clear across campus.

“Cultural Context of Education, and I’m going to be late. It’s all the way over in Lokey.”

Feeling bold, I take his hand. “C’mon, mine’s in Alder. I’ll walk with you.”

We head out the door and down the path.

“It’s weird we don’t know that much about one another, considering,” Liam says, shooting me a sly smile.

And I replay Saturday night and Sunday morning over again in my mind. “Ask me anything.”

“What do your parents do?”

Thank God, something simple. “My dad is a veterinarian and my mom is an office manager at a school for kids with severe disabilities. What about yours?”

“Dad’s a Spanish teacher and Mom runs her family’s dry cleaning business – they own six stores in the Boise area.” He reaches over and tucks my hair behind my ear. “Do you have any siblings?”

“Nope, I’m an only. My cousins are close in age, though, and we grew up just a town apart, so that was kind of like having older brothers. What about you?”

“I have a little sister, Brynn. She’s a senior this year.”

“Do you guys get along?” I can only imagine Liam being a great, although super-protective older brother.

He tilts his head from side to side. “Yeah, for the most part. We went through a few years when she was in middle school and I was in high school where she bugged the shit out of me, but pretty much everyone bugged the shit out of me at that point in my life.”

I chuckle. “Ooh, were you working the teenage angst?”

“For sure.” He shakes his head. “I was a broody motherfucker.”

“What changed?”

He squeezes my hand. “I started dating Ari and working on plays…maybe more the working on plays.”

“You discovered your creative outlet.”

“Yeah. It was something to be excited about and proud of.”

I elbow him in the ribs. “You know, you don’t have to pretend like you weren’t or maybe still aren’t in love with Ari. Six years is a long time to be with someone.”

Liam brings my hand to his mouth and kisses the back of it. “Thanks. I know I don’t have to. I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I bring her up because she was there for me, but she’s not the world’s best example of a girlfriend or anything. And I wasn’t the world’s best boyfriend. Things between us went on longer than they should have. We probably shouldn’t have ever gone to college together and lived together. We missed out on some pretty important moments.”

“Like?” I ask, hoping I don’t have to burst his bubble. “Because my college experience has been boring as hell until two days ago.”

“Has it really?” He looks taken aback. “You mentioned that you lived in the dorms, is that where you met your roommate?”

I nod. “Okay, you’re right. That was serendipitous. Actually, Kristin and Cam, the ones we got the…anyway, they lived in the dorm with us, too. Cam and I shared a room.”

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. I didn’t get a chance to meet new people. There wasn’t a clean slate for me. Ari and I both made friends, but we made friends as a couple. I don’t really have any friends now, and I don’t think she does either. When people couldn’t decide whose side to take, they dropped us both.”

I duck my head. “So, what does that mean for – and believe me when I use this term I realize it’s beyond early –
us
? I like what we’re starting here, but not at the expense of you not getting to figure out who you are.”

Liam stops walking and pulls me to him. Taking my face in his hands, he kisses me. Right there in the middle of the sidewalk with people rushing by.

“When you say things like that,” Liam says, staring into my eyes. “I know I chose right.”

“Chose right?”

We start walking again, we’re gonna be so late.

“There was a point at the club,” he says, glancing at me, “where I was thinking very sexy things about you, and it scared me to feel like that, but it was also exciting. I had to choose whether to keep my thoughts to myself and progress as friends, which wasn’t a bad option, just safe, or to jump in and take the chance I might get burned again.”

Any fears I had about his being drunk that night and me being a rebound vanish.
I was a choice.
This beautiful, kind, funny boy chose me. “And what was your deciding point?”

“When you told me about only having one night stands and about how there are some women who take what they can get. I just couldn’t see a way where the night didn’t end without me in your bed trying to prove you wrong.”

I clear my throat. “Four.”

He laughs and kisses my temple. “Here’s Alder. I’ve got classes straight through until Acting. I’ll see you then.”

“Sure you don’t want to skip class and go make out in the library or something?”

He kisses my nose. “Tempting, but I’ve got an assignment I have to turn in today. It’s a big part of my grade.”

“Sigh. Hot and responsible.”

I pull the cord to let the bus driver know it’s my stop and stand up, quickly pulling my short polka-dot trench coat down over my butt. The whole showing up at your boyfriend’s house dressed like a slutty clown thing probably works better: 1. In the movies: and 2. When you don’t have to take the cross-town bus to get there.

My heels click against the pavement and I shift my backpack from my right shoulder to my left. I also may have overdone it on the candy. I doubt Liam has many trick-or-treaters on a good year, and seeing as Halloween fell on a Sunday this year, we’ll be lucky if a single group of fifteen-year-olds in half-assed ghost costumes come a callin’.

After carefully navigating the stairs in high heels, I slip my red nose from my pocket and stick it on. I knock twice on the door and hear Liam shuffling around inside. Shit. I hope he wasn’t sleeping. Between school, me, the play, and both of his jobs, he’s been running on an empty tank.

Finally, the outside light comes on and Liam opens the door. He’s wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt. It’s on inside out.

“Trick-or-treat,” I say, untying the belt at my waist to reveal my sexy clown get-up, which is really just a corset, panties, stockings, garters, and the clown nose.

Liam steps out on the landing and closes the door behind him. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming by tonight,” he says, leaning in and giving me a quick kiss.

I playfully punch him in the stomach. “This is what’s commonly known as a surprise.” I slide my hand up over his chest and let it rest on his shoulder. “I know we see each other at school and rehearsal, but it’s been a while since we, you know, so I thought…”

“I’m really tired, Dani, this term is just wiping me out.” He pulls the sides of my coat together, overlapping them and then tying the belt. “I know it’s been a little while since we’ve been--”

“Eight days.” I grab his shirt and tug him toward me. “I miss you.”

He grins and plucks the red ball from my nose, tucking it into my coat pocket. “But you just said we see each other all the time.” Liam tips my chin up and kisses me again, more thoroughly.

Hitching my thumbs underneath my backpack straps, I rock back on my heels. “Is everything okay? Are you having second thoughts?”

Liam gives me a wounded look. “No, Dani. It’s got nothing…” He sighs. “Normally, I would be very into helping you out of that hot ensemble, but I need to spend tonight working on school stuff and then I’ve got homework to grade. I can’t be distracted or I’ll get behind and we’ll have even less time to spend together.”

“Fine,” I drawl. “Can I pee and borrow some pants before I leave?”

He looks uncomfortable with the idea. “Uh, sure.”

Liam grabs my hand and opens the door, backing through it. He practically pushes me into the bathroom.

“I’ll get you some sweats,” he says, and shuts me in.

What the hell? I hear him quickly open and close the closet door. Obviously, there is something in Liam’s apartment he doesn’t want me to see. I stare at myself in the mirror and try to remember if I saw anything suspicious in the five seconds between the kitchen and the bathroom.

Table, chair, dish drainer, computer, coffee table, plaid comforter.

Red, satiny…something. There, hanging over the footboard.

I drop my backpack to the floor.

It could’ve been basketball shorts.

Or a Speedo.

But it wasn’t. I squeeze my eyes closed. It was a bra. A red, satin bra with molded cups. Like something I would wear, but I don’t own any red underthings. And I’ve never undressed at Liam’s place anyway. In fact, he never wants me over here and shuts me down every time I suggest we give Elizabeth some space. Which I must have subconsciously known, or I wouldn’t have shown up here tonight when I knew he didn’t want me to. A dart of panic pierces my sternum and spreads throughout my chest.

Liam knocks on the door. “Here are the pants.”

“Just a sec,” I say, my voice wavering. I reach over and flush the toilet and then turn on the faucet.

Taking a deep breath, I pull myself together, readjusting my coat and tying the belt tighter around me. I shut off the faucet and roll my shoulders back, lifting my head up high. I’m the biggest idiot on the planet.

Not because my boyfriend is cheating on me, but because I’m not going to say a thing about it.

I plaster a smile on my face and open the door. Liam is leaning against the doorjamb, holding a pair of gray sweats to his chest. He’s got a jacket on over his pajamas.

The corners of his mouth turn down when he sees me. “I’m an asshole,” he says suddenly. He tosses the sweats over his shoulder and grasps my hand, dragging me into his arms. He kisses my neck.

“Are you? Why?” I ask, tilting my head back as his tongue dips into the hollow where my collarbones meet.

His thumbs part the top of my coat, his mouth moving lower. “Only an asshole would turn his girl away when she’s dressed like—”

“A slutty clown?”

Liam roughly yanks the belt on my coat. “Please. You look like Bettie Page.”

My fingers find the zipper on his jacket and start to pull it down, but he grabs my right wrist and pins it to the wall behind me.

“Uh-uh,” he scolds, taking my other hand and capturing it next to the right one. “Don’t move.”

“Liam,” I breathe, my body unable to pretend despite the alarms going off in my head. Who’s distracting whom now?

He presses his lips to mine, his tongue penetrating my mouth as his hand slides past the top of my underwear and in between my legs. He slips a finger inside me. I squirm against his palm and turn my head to the side, pulling my mouth away from his and drawing in a deep breath.

Liam doesn’t let up until my legs are quaking and I can barely think. He lets go of my wrists and fixes my coat around me like he’s wrapping a gift. Going into the bathroom, he grabs my backpack.

“What the hell do you have in here?” he asks, smirking.

“A five pound bag of mini-candy bars,” I say, nearly recovered.

Liam slings my bag over his shoulder and bends to pick up the sweat pants. He hands them to me. “I’ll ride with you home and then I really, really, really have to get some work done.”

I feel a pout coming on, but hold back. I got what I came here for, didn’t I? Essentially? I’m being paranoid. There probably wasn’t even a red bra on the bed. Seriously. Like I am Sherlock Holmes or something? It is way more likely I’ve conjured up an image in my head because that’s what I expect, not because it’s reality.

My gut doesn’t agree, but Liam seems to have a lot more faith in it than I ever did.

I step out of my pumps and put his sweats on, cinching the waist. “Pinup from the waist up,” I joke.

He smiles at me and kisses me on the forehead. “C’mon Bettie.” Liam takes my hand.

I look over my shoulder, glancing back toward the closet. A red bra strap is sticking out underneath the door.

“Ready?” he asks, his tone firm.

My eyes meet his. I expect to see avoidance, guile, and dishonesty. Instead I see fear and vulnerability.

It breaks my heart.

“Sure.”

It should be totally awkward standing around in my underwear next to the beautiful Ursula while Liam pulls costumes for us, but I barely even think about comparing myself to her – she’s turning out to be one of the coolest people ever and is a brilliant actor. Also, she treats Liam like a brother.

India, on the other hand, continues to make me feel like a sumo wrestler. I am tolerating her for the sake of theatrical harmony, but standing five feet away from her in my skivvies is giving me a major case of anxiety.

Liam hands me an evening gown with a draped neckline and tiny silver and rose-colored sequin flowers all over it. “I saw this in a consignment shop and thought it would really work well for your character. I hope it fits. I had to guess.” And then under his breath, “But I do have a pretty good idea about the shape of your body.” He winks at me.

I undo the zipper and step into the dress, being careful as I pull it over my hips.

He hands a dress to Ursula, almost as pretty as mine. “This one was in storage, way in the back with a bunch of period tuxedoes.”

Ursula takes the dress and slips it over her head. It fits perfectly.

Liam gives her a thumbs up and fixes a tag with Ursula’s name on it over the top of the dress’s hanger. “Storage is such a mess,” he says wistfully. “I can’t wait to have some time to organize it.”