Crown's Chance at Love (34 page)

“Has she ever told you what she was like after Sean died?” he asks. His voice cold and curt, more than the usual cold tone he talked to me, and that makes my body go on high alert.

“Some,” I answer wondering where the hell this is going.

“What did she say?” He asks glancing over to me. His face serious, but his dark eyes were filled with curiosity.

“She told me she was a mess and that you were there for her,” I answer honestly and I can see him shake his head and smile sadly.

“Sounds about the way she would describe it, “ he scoffs shaking his head.

“I’ve known Sabrina since we were kids. She was always full of life. Had this look in her eyes, like she was thinking of a million ways to somehow get into trouble. Especially back when we were younger. That light was there everyday until Sean died.” He looks towards the TV’s but he seems to be deep in thought, almost as if he is reliving the past in his mind. A small part of me is stupidly jealous of the fact that he has such a big past in her life.

“It took eleven days to get all the arrangements settled for the funeral. Between the body being released from the county coroners office to the mortuary, it took a while… Anyhow she avoided me like the plague. Made every excuse those eleven days not to talk to me and I gave her the space she needed.”

“Emmi was the first of her family and friends that was able to get to her after the police came to tell her about the accident. Emmi told me Sabrina was in shock. Which, I mean, under the circumstances everyone understood. But it was more than that.” He sips his drink, and my stomach churns at the thought of what those days must have really been like for her.

“Those eleven days she was completely lost. She didn’t even cry. Not one fucking tear, and everyone was so fucking worried about her…” he says his voice full of emotion.  He takes a big gulp of his drink, and slightly winces as the hard liquor probably burns his throat. I know he is telling me this shit for a reason, and it probably isn’t a good one. My body is tense as I sit here waiting for him to get it all out, my blood turning cold in my veins.

“She tends to keep everything in. She’s always been that way. Except with Sean. With Sean she always let it all out.  Anyhow,  I was the one that they sent in to talk to her the day of the funeral. I took her out, away from everyone’s stares, because shit, it was like they were all waiting for her to break. Not in a malicious way, but because her family knew the thread she was holding onto was wearing down. We talked, she broke down, I won’t tell you the ugly details but we talked it out…”

“After everything happened, she was completely different. I don’t even know how to explain it. It was like that light had been shut completely off. Like when Sean died, something in her died as well. As time passed she got better, but that light was still not there. I don’t even know how to explain it to you…” he says almost to himself, deep in his thoughts. Turning his head, his eyes on mine, my heart racing. Knowing what was coming.
Fuck.

“She kept going and she has always been a hell of a mom to those kids, but that light, it was something so defining of her, that when it went out, it felt like she was a robot or a zombie. Not really herself. Keeping everyone at bay somehow, maybe to protect herself from ever getting hurt again…” he says staring back at the game, taking another sip of his drink. Then he looks at me again.

“Did you know that the day after she met you she went to coffee with Emmi?” he asks coldly.

“She mentioned that.”

“Emmi called me right after she had left Sabrina at her office. Em was crying, and let me tell you about Em, she doesn’t ever fucking cry. But that day she called me crying so much that I couldn’t understand what the fuck she was saying. Crying so much, I was ready to hop on a fucking plane because I had no idea what the hell was wrong or what had happened. When she finally calmed down, she said two fucking words and I wanted to cry. SHE’s back. Thats what Emmi said to me and I knew exactly what she was talking about.  I knew she was talking about Sabrina.”

“Then she explained the whole thing. How the day before she had gone to get coffee and bumped into some guy. I’m not going to tell you I didn’t worry because I did. Sabrina… she isn’t a dime a dozen, or one in a million, dude she is a once in a lifetime type of woman. You know it’s not like that with her and I, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know the quality of woman she is.” He brings his drink to his lips, but keeps talking.

“I pretended I didn’t know shit, but even talking to her after that, I could tell she was different. I could see it in her eyes when we Skyped. Dude, I could tell by the sound of her voice on the phone. It was like a fucking light switch went up. Her eyes were bright and fucking happy. She had that same look, like she was thinking about sneaky ways to get away with things, or had some kind of secret. You got to know dude, I didn’t like you when I met you, so I looked into you. Now I am fucking worried  that her light is going to shut off again,” he said handing me a manila envelope as my heart dropped heavily.
Fuck.

“What’s this?” I ask trying to act like I don’t know shit. Maybe I am over reacting, maybe he doesn’t know…

“I think you know… but incase what’s in there isn’t clear enough look inside… you know how Sean passed away. You know she doesn’t know shit about the drunk driver. But you know a whole bunch about Patrick Evans or is it Patrick Crown?” Nick asks, his lips thinned. Putting on my business mask I stay calm and serious, even though I on the inside am terrified. Had he already talked to her? Did she know the truth? If she didn’t already, she would soon.

“He’s my half brother. But you know that now. Does she know?” I ask looking him in the eye, making sure not to show any emotion.

“Not yet,” he said, his hands in fists next to his drink. I can only imagine how bad he must want to hit me.

“Did you know who she was before you met, or was it pure coincidence? Because I am not going to lie, I’m hoping to hell it was a fucking coincidence. Some type of ‘what a small world’ type of fucking coincidence,” he says grimly.

“Patrick had been asking about her, wanting to talk to her. I hired a PI  to check on her. I wanted to make sure she was okay. That he wasn’t somehow bothering her,” I admit to him, again coldly and void of emotion.

“Why didn’t you tell her the truth from the beginning?” he asks me almost growling, not that I blame him.

“She didn’t want to know about him. I had to respect that. I got curious about her. Something about the pictures the PI had given me, something about her haunted me. I tried to not go there, but I wanted to meet her. So I took a shot that day by stopping by at the Starbucks the PI said she frequented. I noticed her and we bumped into one another. I invited her to coffee and somehow I got sucked in,” I admit and something in me makes me go further and I tell him a little more, “you have to believe me Nick, I tried to stay away from her. The more I tried the more I wanted to be there. You out of everyone know that’s been by her side most of her life. I don’t want to lose her. I’m in love with her,” I tell him honestly.

“You have been lying to her!” He snarls slamming his glass onto the bar making the bartender glance over at us.

“I know. You have to believe me, there have been so many moments I have been so close to telling her who I am… “

“But you haven’t! Bro you have to know, you have put me in an impossible situation…”

“Why is that Nick? “ I ask sounding pissed. The whole situation had become a mess, a mess that I had created.

“Nick you don’t want to tell her because you want to be the one she goes running to right? If we are being straight about shit, let’s not fuck around then. You have felt threatened since I came into the picture. Dude I’ve seen the way you look at her. You had your chance dude. She’s mine now. I get that you have been there for her and the kids, but like I said you had your chance….”

Nick laughs harshly and shakes his head.

“If you only fucking knew what the fuck you’re saying bro. Look I’ve been there before you and you can fucking bet money I’ll be there after you. You need to tell her or I will. You got until Saturday,” he says throwing a couple twenty‘s on the bar as he walks out.

I grab the envelope and walk out. I sit in my car and hit my fists on the steering wheel and scream. Everything suddenly feels out of my control. Patrick had been released. Nick was giving me an ultimatum. The truth is going to come out and I am going to lose her. I can’t imagine my life without her, but I know I am going to lose her. My phone rings and I answer without looking at it.

“Crown,” I bark.

“Hey Mike?” Shit it’s Sabrina.

“Hey, sorry about that.”

“Bad day?” she asks and I close my eyes taking a deep breath letting her voice soothe me.

“A little, everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, now it seems silly, don’t worry about it. Just wanted to say hi.” She sounds like she is brushing something under the rug, and I know if I ask her about it she will tell me, but my mind is running a mile a minute with what I need to tell her.

“Okay Sabrina, I better get going, you sure everything is okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I just needed to get that file of the vendors. Robin said you had it in your office, but I can stop by another time. Want to come over for dinner tonight?” she asks. Her voice is so sweet and calm it touches parts of me that I didn’t even know existed… and I am going to lose her. I’m going to lose everything.

“Yeah baby I’ll be there. Actually how about I bring dinner, does that sound okay? “

“Sounds good Mike,” she says and I want to hit something because I know that her finding out the truth is going to hurt her.

“I miss you Sabrina,” I say without thinking, and she stays quiet.

“I miss you too Mike. See you later. bye.”

“Hey Babe?” I manage to choke out before she hangs up.

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you stop by my office and have Robin let you in. That file is on my desk. I have a couple of meetings out of the office today and I need to meet up with John later,” I suggest trying to make her day a little easier.

“You sure? That won’t be too weird?” she asks and I sadly smile. God she is so fucking great! Any other woman would have taken that as a green light to go snooping. A green light that I was letting her get closer. But not my girl. My girl never wants to push me further than I want or need.

“No babe, it’s fine. It’s on my desk or on the bookshelf behind it.”

“Okay I’ll stop by. Thank you. So did John get an office finally?” she asks and I know she is smiling. I also know she is making small talk to try to make my day go a little better. John’s been looking for an office but instead he has been driving his realtor crazy.

“Not yet. I have to go up to The Hills to his place.”

“Oh okay. Hope your day gets better Mike,” she says, her voice so sweet and calm that I almost let myself believe that everything would somehow work out.

“It’s a lot better now that I know I will see you tonight babe.”

***

Sabrina

Hanging up with Mike, with him sounding like he had been having a hard day, made my heart sad. I wanted to hold him close and tell him no matter what, everything would be okay. I don’t have much time to think as potential clients walk in and my office. My day passes in a blur without getting a chance to stop by Mike’s office.

At about seven I am driving up to the house and sigh. I need to talk to Laney about my hours. I need to start cutting back. It feels like I just keep getting home later and later. I walk into the house and it smells delicious. Walking into the kitchen quietly, I stand at the archway staring into the kitchen. I take in the sight of the kids and Mike cooking and laughing. The kids are rolling what looks like pizza dough and Mike is shredding cheese. My heart feels light and full. I love how they interact with one another.

“Hey!” he says snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Hey what is going on here?” I ask smiling enjoying the scene in front of me. The kids are in the kitchen talking and smiling; the three of them look happy and relaxed. My eyes go to Mike. I love the the way he smiles and then helps Chris with his pizza. Penny says something and all four of them begin laughing. A warm sensation spreads over my heart at the way Mike looks in my kitchen. Like he fits here. Not in a way where he was replacing Sean, but in a way where he fits with us and we fit with him.

“Hey guys” I say smiling and I get a chime of
Hi mom and Hey’s.

“We’re making Pizza! It was Mike’s idea!” Chris chimed happily, his face slightly dusty with flour. The sight of my shiest child so happy and involved made me take a deep breath so that my eyes wouldn’t tear up.

“Don’t worry Mom we will clean up,” Mark says and I give him a hug, smiling brightly at him.

“Mike also put some chocolate chip cookies to bake for dessert!” Penny shared smiling brightly.

After hugging each of them hello, I ran upstairs to my room to get in some more comfortable clothes. Taking off my heels stretching my toes. I change into black yoga pants and a soft grey t-shirt, feeling more comfortable.  A soft knock on the door, and I say to come in.  Mike opening the door stays standing at the doorway with a glass of red wine. Small butterflies start to flutter in my belly at the thought of us in my room, realizing this is the first time he’s been in this space of the house. God I want him. He turns me on just by looking at me, he doesn’t even need to touch me and I want him.